The Old Man and Irritable Bunny

by Cherry Picking Poser

An observer, you, comes across a chat in a random forum. You decide to read a few lines from the chat, later finding out it's a story of a certain old man and another certain man nicknamed 'Bunny'. Warning: Crack!fic

: Epic rap, man. Epic rap. XD

: Cool story, bro. O v O

Chimuraisyourface: ...the Gaige? What? XD

Chimuraisyourface: TELL IT AGAIN. : D

: Tell what? XD

Chimuraisyourface: THE COOL STORY. O v O

: Ok~ *AHEM*~

: There were once two dudes.

Chimuraisyourface: OMG.

: They used to hate each other. XD

Chimuraisyourface: *GASP*

: One called the other an 'old man'.

Chimuraisyourface: MEAN. : O

: The other called the other dude, "Bunny" . e v e

: They fought and fought every day. XD

Chimuraisyourface: I RIKE DA BUNNY. : D

Chimuraisyourface: ATTACK BACKFIRED.

: One day, Bunny became a huge betch and held a grudge against Old Man.

Chimuraisyourface: OMG WUT Y? D:

: Old Man got into an accident and almost died.

: Bunny came to the rescue!~

Chimuraisyourface: RIP U DUDE KTHXBYE

Chimuraisyourface: OMG A TWIST

: Not really, he cried and cried on Old Man's hospital bed.

Chimuraisyourface: WAHHH~

: XD

: And then Old Man woke up.

: The first thing he said was...

Chimuraisyourface: O v O

: "Bunny...you reek of salt. e m e;;"

Chimuraisyourface: XDDDD

: XD

Chimuraisyourface: Dude, that totally got me! XD

: Bunny snapped from his manry crying face and punched Old Man's face.

: Really? XD

: And Old Man again was unconscious again. XD

Chimuraisyourface: XD

: But then!

: After Old Man healed, Bunny treated him to go to a bar.

: They got all drunk and had to be escorted by a kind fellow who liked to be in the background.

: Once in their hotel room, Old Man and Bunny had a wonderful hot time in bed and got married. THE END.

Chimuraisyourface: RAPE~ : D

: Bonus Story Time!~

: XD

thepicstorytellerthanyou: Not really~ e v e

: Before the bar incident.

Chimuraisyourface: And how am I happy about this...? XD

: XD

Chimuraisyourface: OKAY. O v O

: Bunny was filled with an uncertain feeling in his chest.

: He wondered what it was.

: He felt jealous every time Karina stood close to his beloved Old Man.

: He wanted to scratch her eyes out, how mature. e v e

: And everytime Old Man walked by, his heart gave a weird flutter.

: And when Old Man called him Bunny or his real name, his heart ran around an artery track over 9,000 miles.

Chimuraisyourface: BUTTAFLY FLUTTER OUT OF HIS HART? O n O

XD

: *Pretty much his heart strings are being pulled and the part about the track, his heart is racing. XD

Chimuraisyourface: XD

: Old Man's point of view now. XD

: He noticed Bunny acting strange lately.

: He would always look at him when he thought Old Man wasn't paying attention.

: He could feel a dangerous tension whenever Karina came to talk to him and Bunny was ear-shot.

: *was within ear-shot.

Chimuraisyourface: Eaaavesssdroooppinnggg~

: YES~ 8D

Chimuraisyourface: BAD BOI.

: O YES, SO BAD. e v e

Chimuraisyourface: XD

: And Old Man noticed the tiny shades of pink and red staining Bunny's cheek when he looked at him. e v e

Chimuraisyourface: ELEANOR DIED AND NO ONE CARED. the end

: XD

: Who's Eleanor?

Chimuraisyourface: O HE MUST HAB DA FEBER

: No, he was blushing. X

: *XD

Chimuraisyourface: BEEEBER FEEEBER~

: WTF. XD

Chimuraisyourface: NO CURE MAN.

: OH DANG. O n O

: Old Man was taking in consideration of Bunny's feelings here. (not really.)

: He decided something amazing had to be done.

: It involved being in a warm room and lots of interesting things in the room. *actually had 'lots of food' originally here. *

: HE WOULD...

: TELL BUNNY TO COME WITH HIM TO HIS FAVORITE CAFE!

Chimuraisyourface: FFFFUUU-

Chimuraisyourface: XD

: XD

: Bunny gratefully accepted Old Man's offer.

: And they went to a cafe called Never Reading the Mood EVER.

: It was a great place where good food was served and no one (almost) could read the mood!~ 8D

Chimuraisyourface: What a simple name...

: YEAH. XD

: *Could never read the mood.

: And so, Old Man ordered a bacon sandwich with a beer: And Bunny ordered a tomato bisque soup with a hot cup of cinnamon mocha.

: And all the while Bunny tried his best to put down hints given to him by the Great Nathan.

: Old Man, like the name of the cafe, could never read what Bunny meant.

Chimuraisyourface: Aww~ D:

: Bunny was getting frustrated, for 2 things.

: 1: Old Man wasn't reading his hints.

: And 2: He was putting in too MUCH mayonnaise on his bacon sandwich and even into his beer.

: Bunny HAD ENOUGH!

: And slammed the table.

Chimuraisyourface: D:

: AND GUESS WHAT HE DID.

Chimuraisyourface: RAPED HEEM? : DDD

: Let's see. e v e

: He grabbed Old Man by the collar..

: Brought his other hand in a ready punch. Let's imagine Old Man's face here: O c O;;

Chimuraisyourface: OMG WT FFUUUUUU-

: What could his thoughts be? "SHEET, SHEET, WHAT DID I DUUU?"

: And Bunny quickly came in for a passionate kiss on Old Man's lips. 8D

: FAST FORWARD

: STOP. REWIND.

Chimuraisyourface: XD

: And Bunny ran out of the cafe blushing like mad, the red of an exploding building. And Old Man...just sat there.

: And then, Old Man got to his senses.

: He got up.

: And he was like, "DEM, HE FORGOT TO PAY DA BILL. WHAT NAO?"

: But then, when Old Man returned to his apartment he never could guess Bunny's lips could be so warm and soft. And he thought about that for the rest of the night. = v = *actually wrote 'He never knew'*

: FAST FORWARD

: THEY'RE MARRIED/

: THEY'RE TAKING CARE OF OLD MAN'S 10 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER.

: Old Man's the mom, and Bunny's the dad.

Chimuraisyourface: What, did they adopt her?

: No, Old Man's wife past away before this story.

: He used to have a wife, but she passed away from a disease.

Chimuraisyourface: Awwwh~ Q A Q

: They lived happily ever after, getting all old and wrinkly, and Kaede getting all young, beautiful, and SMEXAY~ THE END.

: It's ok, I thought it was sad, too. Q A Q

: His wife is looking after him in Heaven. 3

Chimuraisyourface: Q v Q 3

: And all the while, Tomoe, Old Man's wife, who saw all this happen in the Holy Land, just said, "WTF, NAO, BRO. O n O;;"

: And the Holy One said, "It's not good for angels to swear, Ms. Tomoe."

: Now, finally, THE END. 3

Chimuraisyourface: XD

: e v e

Chimuraisyourface is typing...

Chimuraisyourface: Such a happy ending. XD

: I know right? XD

: Oh I should write this and submit it in ! XD Did you enjoy the story? e v e Was it cool? 8D

Chimuraisyourface: I like it. XD

: I'm glad! XD

And Tomoe continued protecting her family, including her husband's new husband, who she thought was pretty handsome. THE REAL END.