Like We Never Loved At All, For My Broken Heart, a card captor sakura fanfic

Okay, so here is another brief Card Captor fanfic. Okay, so it's more of a songfic... but still. I don't own Card Captors or the songs featured in this story. "Like We Never Loved at All"-Tim McGraw and Faith Hill; "For My Broken Heart"-Reba McIntire; mentioned but no lyrics "Don't Want to Miss A Thing"-Aerosmith. Enjoy. R&R please :)

She turned on the radio station and the one song that explained everything she was feeling was on. She had just woken up from being out with her friends last night for a girl's night out, something she hadn't done since Syaoran broke up with her two weeks ago. He'd been out with his friends… she'd never seen him look that good. She opened up her email and began writing something she needed to say but could never say face to face. Faith Hill's voice filled the empty room.

You never looked so good
As you did last night
Underneath the city lights
There walking with your friend
Laughing at the moon
I swear you looked right through me
But I'm still living with your goodbye
And you're just going on with your life

Dear Syaoran,

How can you just walk on by
Without one tear in your eye?
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?
Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all

Tim McGraw's voice joined his wife's on the chorus as Sakura tried to think about what to say next. It hurt her to admit that she wasn't over Syaoran; that he'd meant so much to her that him saying good-bye was tearing her up inside even two weeks later. What was worse was that he didn't seem to be phased by it at all.

How can you walk past me in school or on the street and not feel sad or hurt? How can you not shed one tear for losing what we had? Is that your way of dealing? Is it your way of dealing with everything… just to forget what we had. Like the love we shared never happened? I don't understand…

You, I hear you're doing fine
Seems like you're doing well
As far as I can tell
Time is leaving us behind
Another week has passed
And still I haven't laughed yet
So tell me what your secret is?
To letting go, letting go like you did, like you did

I haven't been able to laugh since you said good-bye… all I've been able to do is cry. But now even crying hurts too much. I didn't even laugh when Tomoyo ran into a street sign last night while we were walking down the sidewalk. How do you do it? How do you live each day like nothing happened? What's your secret to letting it go like you obviously have? Please, I'd like to know so that maybe one day it won't hurt as much and I'll be able to laugh again. Right now, everything seems so dark like there's no light anywhere in the world.

The words came from the song, but she also knew that they were coming from her heart. She knew that she needed to let go. She needed to move on from this; she needed to be able to laugh and live again.

Tears sprang to her eyes as the song came to an end. She was struggling, trying to find the right words to end the email. It was time for her to let go, but she never thought about how hard it really was.

Did you forget the magic?
Did you forget the passion?
Did you ever miss me
Ever long to kiss me?

Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all

I guess nothing matters anymore. Not one kiss we shared; nothing we shared matters anymore. Can I ask you something? Do you ever long to kiss me again? From the way things look I already know the answer to that question is 'no'. You've really never looked so good. It's time I said good-bye, Syaoran. It's just too hard… but it's what you want. I know it is. So… good-bye Syaoran, good-bye. I will try to look at it like we never loved each other.

Sakura.

The mouse hovered over the send button. She took a deep breath and clicked. He would know how she felt if he chose to read the email. It was all up to him now. She'd said her good-bye, but truthfully she still couldn't let go until she heard from him. She doubted she would. It was a good thing it was the weekend. She wouldn't have to see Syaoran until Monday. She had two days to regret sending that email.

-Syaoran's Room-

Syaoran woke up late. It was nearly noon on Saturday. He'd had so much fun with Eriol and some other friends last night. He turned on the radio and Aerosmith's Don't Want to Miss a Thing filled the room. He was tempted to turn it off, but then he realized that it was almost over. He opened his laptop and connected to the internet. He had some research to do for a paper that was due on Wednesday; he had no intention of reading his email but he couldn't overlook the email address: cherryblossomgrl. He hadn't heard from Sakura in two weeks. Not since he broke up with her. Sure he'd seen her around school and even last night. She was out with Tomoyo and a few other friends but she didn't look like she was having fun. He hesitated on opening the email, but curiosity got the better of him. After reading the first few lines, he wished he hadn't.

Dear Syaoran,

I saw you last night, out with your friends. I thought you saw me too, but I guess not. Either that or you didn't want to acknowledge me. It's been two weeks and I'm still trying to wake up each morning and not think about you. I try so hard not to think about our last night together, before you said good-bye. I thought… I guess you've moved on… How can you walk past me in school or on the street and not feel sad or hurt? How can you not shed one tear for losing what we had? Is that your way of dealing? Is it your way of dealing with everything… just to forget what we had? Like the love we shared never happened? I don't understand… I haven't been able to laugh since you said good-bye… all I've been able to do is cry. But now even crying hurts too much. I didn't even laugh when Tomoyo ran into a street sign last night while we were walking down the sidewalk. How do you do it? How do you live each day like nothing happened? What's your secret to letting it go like you obviously have? Please, I'd like to know so that maybe one day it won't hurt as much and I'll be able to laugh again. Right now, everything seems so dark like there's no light anywhere in the world. I guess nothing matters anymore. Not one kiss we shared; nothing we shared matters anymore. Can I ask you something? Do you ever long to kiss me again? From the way things look I already know the answer to that question is no. You've really never looked so good. It's time I said good-bye, Syaoran. It's just too hard… but it's what you want. I know it is. So… good-bye Syaoran, good-bye. I will try to look at it like we never loved each other.

Sakura.

"I will try to look at it like we never loved each other." He read that last line out loud. He hadn't really noticed how much he had hurt her. He thought breaking up was the best thing for them. He didn't want to hurt her, but he didn't see any other choice but to end the relationship before things got too complicated. Apparently he was too late on that; he never expected for Sakura Kinomoto get that hung up on him. Even more than that… he didn't expect that he himself would get that hung up on a girl like Sakura Kinomoto. Sakura, in truth, could get any guy she wanted but she had chosen Syaoran, and the same went for Syaoran. As heir to the Li Company, Syaoran stood to inherit not only a fortune but also one of the leading electronic companies in the world. Sakura was going to go on to pursue her modeling/acting/singing career… a lifestyle like that wouldn't fit well with the lifestyle of an important business man. Or so that's what Syaoran had told himself. His mother wanted him to find a nice girl and think about settling down, even though he was only a senior in high school. His sisters would have loved Sakura, but he's not sure his mother would have. He needed to explain things to Sakura; explain why he broke it off the way he did. He had never explained anything to her, he just broke it off and tried to pretend it didn't hurt. He clicked reply and tried to begin to explain.

Sakura,

I don't even know where to begin. I guess, first, I'm sorry for the way things ended. I had my reasons for ending it the way I did. I wish things could have been done differently. I don't even know how to begin to explain… After graduation I'm taking over an internship at my family's company so that in a few years I'll be ready to take over. I know how much you want to pursue a career in the entertainment world. I can't stop you from doing that and I thought that the best way to ensure that I didn't was to end things between us before things got too complicated. I guess I was too late in that. I'm sorry, Sakura. I hope that one day you'll be able to forgive me. And you're wrong… I do think about kissing you again… I think about it all the time.

Syaoran.

He hit send. He didn't expect to hear back from her for a while. He expected her to hate him and to not acknowledge him at school. What he didn't expect was what he actually got.

-Sakura's room-

Sakura,

I don't even know where to begin. I guess, first, I'm sorry for the way things ended. I had my reasons for ending it the way I did. I wish things could have been done differently. I don't even know how to begin to explain… After graduation I'm taking over an internship at my family's company so that in a few years I'll be ready to take over. I know how much you want to pursue a career in the entertainment world. I can't stop you from doing that and I thought that the best way to ensure that I didn't was to end things between us before things got to complicated. I guess I was too late in that. I'm sorry, Sakura. I hope that one day you'll be able to forgive me. And you're wrong… I do think about kissing you again… I think about it all the time.

Syaoran.

She'd read the email as soon as it came it. It came as a shock to her. She had never expected that he was selfless enough to think about what she wanted and what he didn't want to stop her from doing. She had dreamed of becoming a singer or an actress or a model. But her biggest dream, no one knew about, not even Tomoyo. Her biggest dream was being a wife and mother. She would put the acting/singing/modeling career on hold if she found the one guy she wanted to spend her life with… she thought she'd found him in Syaoran. Syaoran was also being selfish in a seemingly selfless act. He had never once talked to her about what she thought; never once asked her opinion on the matter. And in her next email she was sure to state that.

Syaoran,

You are so selfish! How could you not expect…

Wolfboy01: Hey, Sakura.

Cherryblossomgrl: You are so selfish!

Wolfboy01: What?

Cherryblossomgrl: you read correctly. How could you not have even thought about asking me what my opinion was? Did that ever cross your mind?

Wolfboy01: Saku… I'm sorry I just thought that… I don't know what I was thinking, I'm sorry.

Cherryblossomgrl: you didn't think to ask me what my biggest dreams are? You didn't think to include me in decisions that would affect both of us? I don't even know what to say to you anymore!

Wolfboy01: if it's not too late… what are your biggest dreams?

Cherryblossomgrl: Syao… I'm sorry but right now, I think it's too late. Good-bye.

She signed off before he had the chance to respond. She was hurting more now than she was when she woke up this morning. She was dreading school on Monday… in fact she was dreading tomorrow afternoon. She had promised Tomoyo that she would be a model in her fashion show to help raise money for the children's hospital… she couldn't back out of that. Syaoran had to be there since his family was a big sponsor of the hospital; he would be there along with his sisters. The thought of running into him now was enough to make her sick. She was mad at him now, but she knew that the moment she saw him and the sincerity that was probably showing through in his eyes she'd forgive him and tell him what her biggest dreams are. At that thought she curled up on her bed and cried.

-the next afternoon-

"Sakura, you look beautiful!" Tomoyo yelled over the sound of the music. She had put Sakura in a jade green evening gown with a subtle cherry blossom branch pattern in a slightly lighter green. "I just wish your eyes weren't so puffy. Did you cry yourself to sleep again?"

"You don't understand, Tomoyo."

"What I understand is that the guy is a jerk. I don't see what you saw in him, I'm really…"

"Oh, whatever, Tomoyo! You've always liked Syaoran so don't give me that crap!" Sakura wanted the day to be over with. She had, like her friend said, cried herself to sleep again last night. She hadn't seen Syaoran yet and she hoped it would stay that way.

"Tomoyo, what have you done to my sister?" Touya walked into the backstage area. He would be escorting Sakura down the runway; Syaoran was supposed to but under the circumstances…

"Oh stop, Touya." Sakura would have rather gone down by herself but Tomoyo wouldn't stand for it. She and Touya got into place.

"If I see that brat today, I'm going to give him a piece of my mind." Touya said under his breath but not soft enough because Sakura was able to hear him and gave him a look that told him to shut up.

-Syaoran arrives at the fashion show-

He had dreaded this event since he talked to Sakura the day before. He knew Tomoyo wouldn't let Sakura out of her agreement to wear one of her outfits and he knew that there was no way that he would get out of attending. What he didn't expect to see was how beautiful Sakura looked in the green dress Tomoyo had put her in. He made sure to stay out of her sight until he felt he could brave it; the plan worked until his sister broke the news to him that they were to walk down the runway first since they were the big name at this event. He swallowed hard as he and his sister walked to the front of the line. He made sure to keep his eyes on the floor for two reasons: one, he didn't want to risk looking Sakura in the eyes just yet and two, he was looking out for Touya's leg that was bound to be sticking out. Sakura's brother had never liked him so what he'd done to hurt Sakura made it even worse.

Sakura watched as Syaroan and his sister walked to the front of the line. She had ducked behind Touya to keep out of sight. Again, she wished the day was over. Tomoyo had convinced her to sing a song during the intermission; in between the modeling and the auction. Yes, Tomoyo had devised yet another way to raise money for the hospital… the models were going to be auctioned off for dinner. The members of the audience would bid on which model they wanted to take out for supper… Sakura had been ready to kill Tomoyo when she heard about that part of the show. The fashion show went off without any problems and now it was time for Sakura's solo. Tomoyo had even invited talent agents to the show so they could hear her sing. Sakura swallowed and took a deep breath. She took the stage as the music began to build.

There were no angry words at all

As we carried boxes down the hall

One by one we put them in your car

Nothing much for us to say

One last goodbye and you drove away

I watched your tail-lights

As they faded in the dark

I couldn't face the night in that lonely bed

So I laid down on the couch instead

Sakura tried not to make eye contact with Syaoran, but when the words were meant for him… He had positioned himself in the middle of the front row. She had to steady herself; she had to fight the tears. She had picked this song for a reason.

Last night I prayed the Lord my soul to keep

Then I cried myself to sleep

So sure life wouldn't go on without you

But oh this sun is blinding me

As it wakes me from the dark

I guess the world didn't stop

For my broken heart

She could no longer stop the flow of tears. It was a good thing Tomoyo had given her waterproof make-up. It was also a good thing that the song was a sad one; it made it more convincing that she was crying.

Clocks still tickin, life goes on

Radio still plays a song

As I try to put my scattered thoughts in place

And it takes all the strength I've got

To stumble to the coffee pot

The first of many lonely mornings I've got to face

You call to see if I'm ok

I look out the window and I just say

Last night I prayed the Lord my soul to keep

Then I cried myself to sleep

So sure life wouldn't go on without you

But oh this sun is blinding me

As it wakes me from the dark

I guess the world didn't stop

For my broken heart

Oh, I guess the world ain't gonna stop

For my broken heart

Syaoran couldn't take the song anymore. He couldn't stand seeing Sakura sing her heart out and not mend the mess he'd caused. He didn't care what anybody said. He got up from his seat and jumped up onto the stage and as soon as the song ended his kissed Sakura so passionately it was a wonder Touya didn't rush out and pull him off. It was amazing to kiss Sakura again, but what was even more amazing was that she was kissing him back.

"Saku, I'm sorry for everything. I was so afraid of taking away your dreams that I didn't think what it would do to you if I broke things off. I love you, Sakura Kinomoto." Sakura was in shock. She had dreamt that Syaoran would do what he had just done and then what he was currently doing. "I don't care how long I have to wait. I don't care if my mother won't like you. I love you Sakura and I want to be with you forever. We may only be 18, but there will never be anyone other than you. I don't care if you end up touring the world when you become a famous singer as long as you always come home to me. Sakura Kinomoto, will you marry me?" Sakura gasped. She was sure she heard Touya blowing steam in the back. Tomoyo, no doubt, was taping this… but none of that mattered. Sakura kissed Syaoran as her answer. They wouldn't get married for a few years, but she knew there would never be anyone but Syaoran Li in her life.

"Yes, Syaoran, yes!" Syaoran picked Sakura up and swung around in a circle. Aerosmith's Don't Want to Miss a Thing started playing over the sound system as the crowd cheered.