So I haven't posted in a while and I have just re-watched 100. I wrote this a while ago from JJ's POV and having re read it I felt like posting it. Hope you like it.
The ride back to Quantico is long and torturous. No one speaks; no one knows what to say. We simply sit in the car as it winds through the streets of D.C. Foyet was dead, but at what cost? Morgan is driving, leading his team back to home base. Rossi stares out the window, a dark shadow over his face where the evening sun was sinking behind the horizon. Prentiss has her eyes closed, but she's not sleeping. Reid is watching the cars passing in the opposite direction. I wonder if they were safer knowing that someone like Foyet was dead, or whether they be terrified knowing the horror he managed to achieve before the authorities caught up to him. He wanted to be caught by Hotch, this was an elaborate game for him. He has stripped away a part of Hotch and Jack that cannot be replaced.
We are all beaten and trudge through the hallways to our desks. Rossi immediately hides in his office, shutting the door behind him. Prentiss and Reid lean on their desks, making small talk. Morgan goes to inform Strauss. I don't envy him having to tell her this; he has risen admirably to the job of Unit Chief much the chagrin of certain members of the higher level directors.
"I'm going to check on Penelope," I mutter, getting a quick nod from the remaining profilers and I pad down to Garcia's technological hub. Her door is slightly ajar and I watch her for a moment. She is furiously typing on her keyboards, a sob escaping her lips every so often.
"Penelope," I say.
She jumps out of her seat, startled. She doesn't scold me like she would normally. She crosses the room quickly and we embrace in a hug. "How is he?" she asks of Hotch.
"He's gone to the hospital to get some stitches, he and Foyet traded blows before Hotch..." I falter over the word murder. To use it would put Hotch into the same category as one of them, one of the guys we hunt, one of the guys we put away. "Foyet is gone, Jack has gone with him to the hospital, and they are both devastated."
She nods furiously. "When will he get out?"
"Paramedics said he should get out tonight, but they may want to watch him over night as a precaution"
Again she nods before she asks "How are you doing?"
"Honestly I don't know," I reply. "We are told in the academy that the loss of a team mate is a real possibility in this job. But Haley wasn't a Fed, she was just a team mates ex-wife who got pulled into the job because of some sick bastard's desire to be famous." I feel the anger rising in my chest, "What if another UnSub decides to come after one of us through our families. Garcia if anyone was to go after Henry and Will I don't know what I'd do." She doesn't reply; it's the same fear they all have. The risk they have to take to protect the rest of the public.
For a moment I question my own desire to be on this team. I am willing put myself in harm's way on a regular basis and I never really know if I am going to make it back home. I have a responsibility to Henry to make sure I come home, but every time I step on that jet I risk not coming back. I have to remind myself that the team would do anything to help if one of us were in danger. I trust this team implicitly; they are my friends and an extension of my family.
I make my excuses and leave heading back to my office. I drop heavily into the cushioned seat and try desperately to control my bubbling emotions. I'm not sure how long I sit there; I know there is paperwork to do, files that need reporting. I stare at the pile of folders on my desk and heave a sigh praying that Derek will come and tell them they can go home already. My phone starts to buzz in the pocket of my bag and I struggle to retrieve it before it rings off. I didn't need to check who the missed call was from but feel reassured when I see his name.
Will.
He had rung several times in the last hour. He knew what was going on in the case. I had probably told him more than I should have done. But he always listens patiently, to every horrid detail, and is always there for me. I am about to ring him back when Morgan knocks on my door. He has jacket slung over his shoulder and even his face was showing the signs of tiredness. "Hey, Strauss has agreed to let us have the rest of the week off. We have to be in Monday though; she wants to interview us all over what happened."
"Why? So she can blame all of this on Hotch and fire him because he's a threat to her job" I reply angrily.
"I don't know JJ," he sighs "She has procedures to follow. I can never tell if she has the best interests of this team in mind when she makes her decisions." I nod reluctantly. "Go home, get some rest. Prentiss and Reid have already gone. I'll see you on Monday. Goodnight JJ."
He disappears from my door and I waste no time grabbing my purse and heading towards the car park. I drive home on auto pilot and quickly pull up outside the house. The sun has long since set now and the street lights peer through the leaves on the trees, casting shadows over the drive. The porch light is still on; our little routine when he knows I am due home from a case, a small beacon of light pooling at the top of the steps. I quietly let myself in to the dark hallway and make my way upstairs. The door to Henry's room is open a notch and I peer in at him. He is fast asleep in his cot, his hands scrunched up into little balls as he dreams. I smile, pull the blanket over his tiny body a little more before placing a kiss on his head.
"Hey," I hear from behind me. I turn and smile at Will, cover the short distance between us and allow myself to fall into his open arms. We don't speak, he just holds me and for a second and I wonder if he knows. "Come on, lets go sit down" he says leading me to the bedroom. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asks sitting me down on the bed.
I nod my head but don't speak right away. We just sit on the bed and he waits patiently for me to speak, his hand over my own rubbing small circles over the skin. "Foyet is dead," I explain eventually, "He killed Haley and Hotch beat him to death."
"Did he hurt Jack?"
"No, thank God, but he would have if Hotch hadn't..." And that's when I lose control. The emotions I had been battling to keep in touch for the last few hours poured out of me. I break down in tears and I cry for Haley, for Hotch, for Jack, for all the families that have had their lives destroyed by one man and for all the victims he had claimed in his pursuit of infamy. His arms are around me again and I melt into his body, curling my legs tight to my chest. "I can't lose you Will," I choke out.
"Hey, what did I say to you before chere?" he says "I'm not going anywhere."
I bury my face into his neck and he pulls me tight and he waits patiently for when I can talk. "You know I love you, right?"
"Course I do and I love you Jen. That ain't gonna change."
We lay together on the bed, making small talk till its almost light again and we both drift off to sleep together. As I fall asleep in his arms I am grateful that I have him and am safe in the knowledge that no matter what we are a team and a family and we will help Hotch and Jack through all the uncertainty that is yet to come.
Let me know what you think.
Tauri888