[Disclaimer: I own nothing.]
Running Out Of Time
Sighing for what seemed to be the millionth time that night, Beast Boy starred gloomily over at his clock and watched as the minutes seemed to tick by so slowly it felt like an eternity. It had been several hours since he and the others had called it a day and headed off to bed; but the changeling remained wide awake with his mind racing with millions of thoughts, the notion of sleep borderline ridiculous. But even though his reasoning was working massive overtime, he couldn't put his finger on what exactly what could be causing his restlessness and keeping a well-deserved peaceful slumber just out of his reach. Nevertheless, he wasn't going to get up and come running to one of the other titans. They were asleep and it was he felt that it was his responsibility to fix his personal problems as best he could before he should see out assistance.
Slamming his head back against his pillow repeatedly, either in an attempt to knock himself unconscious or beat the thoughts out of his head so he could calm down and fall asleep naturally, the changeling's brain remained swamped with a multitude of distractions. But at least he was able to begin to work himself towards a more soothed state. Maybe all he needed now was some idea that would finish the job. Only problem with that, which of the million thoughts would do just that? Take the wrong path in his head and he could end up prolonging the torture he had already been suffering.
First he thought about his parents. They never got to their little boy grow up into a man and become someone that a city would end up depending on for their safety. They never had a chance to be proud of him. They never saw anything he had accomplished in his young life. And Beast Boy never got to see the pride in their eyes that he was sure they would have for him. That was starting to do more harm than good as the shape shifter began to feel like he missed out on a better life.
Quickly shifting his train of thought, he tried to think of videogames. He was good at that, a grandmaster of the controller. He had been able to trump almost every high score that Robin and Cyborg had been able to put up on the list and they had shown frustration over it almost every time they played. But after a little thought, the feeling of superiority drained from the accomplishment. So what if he was the best gamer in the tower, in the end he hadn't really earned real lasting bragging rights. New games came out all the time. Then he began to think about Terra.
That cleared out the din in his head and focused his mind like a laser, but not in the way that Beast Boy wanted. Before he could really think serious about something else, he was completely consumed with the memories of the charming blonde girl. It had been several years since the geomancer had ran away from him, swearing that he had betrayed her trust before he got a chance to tell her that Robin had figured everything out by himself. He thought about how destiny seemed to taunt him, bringing a seemingly perfect match for him, only to strip it all away in a matter of moments. The changeling wept. Why didn't he get a chance to save a relationship that appeared to have most of the elements to be successful? How come the first girl that wasn't part of the team that accepted him as he was, green skin and all, had to have severe trust issues that would drive her away in fear? Why wouldn't she come back, just for a moment so he could explain what had all happened so the two of them could have a fresh start? They could work out the issues as they went along.
As painful as those thoughts were, they accomplished what the changeling was after. The more the changeling wished for Terra to come back, the more he longed to stare deeply into her eyes, the more he cried. And as the tears streamed down his face faster and faster, the green skinned titan became inhumanly exhausted and eventually slipped into a deep irresistible slumber. But it was certainly far from being a peacefully dreamless sleep.
His mind wandering through the mists of his imagination, Beast Boy ended up finding himself surrounded by nothing but sand, stones, and high plateaus. It was very similar to the place that he and the other titans had first met Terra. This time around though, the shape shifter wasn't with the rest of the team. No, this time he was going to meet the geomancer for the "first time" all alone. But when the changeling got to the spot he was sure that he was going to meet up with the blonde-haired angel, there was absolutely nothing, not even a sign of life being in the area for miles around. It was that revelation that singlehandedly turned what could have been a wonderful dream into a heart wrenching nightmare. There was no girl to greet him with a warm embrace, to smile at him and gaze lovingly into his eyes, or give him a warm passionate kiss that would ignite a fire in his soul and rejuvenate his passion for life.
But just as the green-skinned hero was about to fall to his knees and break into tears, he heard a faint voice coming from over the ridge right in front of him. Scrapping up whatever hope he had, Beast Boy scrambled like a maniac, clawing his way up the rocky cliff wall. Once he managed to reach the top, he stared off in the direction he guessed the voice had come from. Nothing, still nothing more than a little dust riding on the light breeze. This time not giving up so easily, he turned around slowly until he saw a dark shadowy figure in the distance with only a deep chasm separating the two of them. How unfortunate for him to have expended most of his energy to climbing up the wrong cliff wall.
"Beast Boy!" the voice called out, the exact identity of the speaker obscured by the winds that were beginning to kick up. "Garfield, come to me. Be with me. I want you. I need you! Come to me now!"
"Terra? Terra is that you? Tell me it's you!" the changeling shouted back.
"Come. Don't hold back," came the response, never confirming or denying the identity but somewhat annoying the shape shifter.
Putting his irritation aside and taking a deep breath to calm himself down, Beast Boy focused his mind on morphing into an eagle. But much to his surprise and chagrin, nothing happened. It was just like it was when he was younger and with the Doom Patrol, no control over his abilities and completely at the mercy of frantic animal instincts. How was he going to make what should have been a simple task happen when he lacked control over his gift? He couldn't just lift off and fly like either Raven or Starfire. Never in his life time did the changeling carry any of the experimental equipment that Cyborg would have to amplify normal human abilities. And unlike Robin, he didn't have an arsenal of tools that would make simple any situation that he found himself in. So all Beast Boy could hope for, assuming that he didn't rest up or resist the call, was to regain control over his shape shifting ability or magically walk on the wind.
"Don't leave me…please don't leave me here alone," came the mysterious voice once more, this time with a tone desperation.
"I have to find another way. I can't fly," the flustered titan called back as he frantically looked about for a narrowing in the fissure or some sort of rock bridge he could use to cross.
"I need you to try…to fly. I...I think I'll die if you don't get to me soon." Death seemed to be gripping the mystery woman and slowly draining the life from her. Beast Boy watched as the silhouette suddenly collapsed to the ground, slowly forcing herself back to her feet so he could still see her.
Fearing what he might end up witnessing after he didn't take every measure to save the girl, the shape shifter took several paces back as he tried to pump himself up and get adrenaline to flow through his veins. But even as he did so, his mind started to work through some of the coincidences that had been surrounding the changeling's current scenario. He didn't find anyone where he had thought that he would see someone. When he would give up on himself, a voice that wasn't his own urged him to push himself. And when it all added up, the feeling that everything was just a dream dawned on the green skinned titan. While it did have some negative connotations such as a lack of self-confidence, it also gave some hope. Maybe if he was able to speak face to face with the stranger he would be told some vital information that would help him figure out why he had been in such a lousy mood. Or, since he hadn't been able to find a girl that showed any interest in him since Terra had left him, he would just enjoy an exotic, erotic moment with a charming and very desirable woman. Both possible end results were more than enough to entice the changeling to throw caution to the wind.
Believing that someone wonderful was waiting for him on the other side of his fabricated world, Beast Boy backed up to the edge he had first pulled himself up. He might not be able to change into whatever creature he imagined, but if this was truly all in his mind, then he had to have confidence in himself. Natural reasoning might try to hold him back and call him a fool to even consider doing what should be impossible, but Beast Boy had already made his decision. He was at the point of no return. There nobody to physically hold him down and prevent him from acting insane. He was going to know the truth and what secrets were buried deep in the subconscious of his mind.
"Gar…field…please…" The final call sounded like it was going to be too late for the changeling if he didn't act quickly now.
As the final desperate plea reached his ears, the green-skinned titan pushed his body as fast and as hard as it could possibly go, faster then what should have been possible. For a moment after taking an incredible leap in the hands of fate, he felt as though he had truly made the wrong choice and would end up paying for it drastically. But he hadn't. For his faith, the changeling landed safety on the opposite plateau. Dusting himself off as he got back to his feet, he very quickly started to walk over towards the female that still refused to identify herself. And once he was close enough, Beast Boy reached out his hand to turn the woman around and stare into the eyes of either wisdom or seduction.
"Hi!" the woman shrieked, speaking with all manners of malice, hatred, and evil. What Beast Boy noticed after getting over the initial shock frightened him so much that he started walking backwards, coming ever closer to the chasm that he had just managed to overcome. The woman's appearance was hardly that of an angel. Even a blind man would sense that she wasn't even remotely attractive. She was dressed in the most ragged clothing, soiled with dust and ashes. Warts and boils covered her from the top of her base of her neck to just above her ankles. Fresh, deep cuts and burned flesh coved a majority of her face and scalp. Her hair, what scarce amount there was still remaining on her head, was snow white and thinning by the second. And as for her hands, they were covered in blood with the tips of her fingers and nails appearing as though they had been trying to claw through a solid granite wall.
"You…you're…" Beast Boy managed to choke out before he found himself at a complete loss for words.
"Beauitiful?" the creature asked mockingly, striking a modeling pose. "No? I'm not what you wanted? I thought I was the most beautiful woman you'd ever seen. Don't you still want me…Garfield? Just one kiss is all I want."
"N-n-n-no way," the changeling stuttered.
"Then…what good are you? What use could I possible find for you? Death is all that awaits your kind." With those words, the horrific monstrosity reached out and pushed the frightened, still incapacitated titan off the edge and down into the darkness below.
"Someone…help!" the doomed titan cried out as the clouds above seemed to become smaller and smaller, the icy hands of death reached out to pull him into hell.
Just as he felt that his body was about to be impaled by the jagged stones, Beast Boy shot up in his bed in a cold sweat and out of breath. It took a few moments, but eventually he realized that he could once again shift to any animal on a whim. But as he reran his nightmare over and over again, something told the changeling that even though he wasn't told explicitly, there was a clue of a message mixed in with the horror. What it was exactly he had no idea, but he was sure that he would be able to get to the bottom of it all by himself. Maybe the final answer would rid him of the nightmares he had been having. Maybe the consistent image of a horrid woman was just a way his mind was tell him that holding onto wanting Terra back was a horrible idea. Three years of wishing and holding on to a dream was long enough. Terra hadn't come back yet, and as time went on, the chances of ever seeing her again was slim at best but getting worse every passing day. Then again, maybe his bad dreams were just caused by bad luck and just a little more effort with a little more time would result in giving him back his girl.
"Oh man," the changeling muttered to himself, "what time is it?" Drearily looking over to face the far side of his room, Beast Boy watched his cheap digital clock flashing midnight just like an old VCR would. Cyborg had tried to warn him time and time again that he would have to expect failures from that thing and invest a little money in getting something a lot more reliable. Now the green titan was going to pay for his slacking. With his curtains closed as well, he couldn't make a judgment by looking outside. He'd have to get up to find out. So instead, Beast Boy decided to rely on his keen sense of hearing. He didn't hear any footsteps which put him believe that he was in a range of being too early or too late. If he got up now and he was early, there was strong chance he was in for a rough day. On the other hand, if he was running late and refused to get his day started, it was highly likely Robin was going to tear into him for being lazy and irresponsible.
Finally deciding on taking the road he definitely didn't want to, Beast Boy slowed trudged his way to the shower to begin his day. All the time he was getting dressed, he wondered what it would be like to have Terra next to him day in and day out, but more extensively he wondered if his life was due for a change. Did he want to stay a titan for the rest of his life? Were the responsibilities of being a hero going to become too much to bear? After all, an entire city depending on you and your closest friends for protection was a great deal of pressure. What about his youthful dreams of becoming a famous actor? Or maybe he could take up a career working with animals, possibly a veterinarian? There were goals he could chase, accomplishments that were his for the taking. All that he needed to do was quit the team.
Pushing those thoughts out of his head as he got dressed, Beast Boy gathered his senses and towards the kitchen for an early breakfast or a late brunch. When he finally got to where he wanted to be, a touch of dismay came over him. It was early morning; he'd been right about that. But worse, only Robin was up. It wasn't that there was animosity between the two titans, they just didn't get along like they used to. The only time they were really able to put all they're personal differences aside was when they were on the battlefield.
"Hey Beast Boy," the boy wonder said looking up from his cereal bowl, "you're up early."
"Don't remind me," the changeling groaned. All he wanted for the moment was to have some food in his stomach and try to get a little more shut eye. "I'm going back to bed after I eat something."
"Whoa, hold up," Robin responded as he finished his own breakfast and started to clean up. "I want to get in a little early practice. Since you're up already, how about a little sparring match?"
"Why you want to fight me?" Beast Boy answered over his shoulder, feeling a little agitated from lack of sleep. "Why not Starfire when she shows up? You've done it in the past and she loves to help you out."
"I'll give you three reasons," the titan leader answered as he help up three fingers. "First, I want to start early, meaning right now. And you're here now. Second, in case you've forgotten, Star can get worked up and forget that it is just practice. The last time we fought, she nearly broke my jaw and I needed to get a couple of teeth replaced. And third, you're going to sleep maybe a half hour if you went back to bed. I mean you can, but I thought you would want to show me that you can actually beat me this time. Unless you don't think you can. I completely understand that you're too scared."
Even though Robin's mask covered his eyes to hide both identity and emotion, the grin on his face displayed the enjoyment he got from teasing the shape shifter. And it got on Beast Boy's nerves more and more every day. If he didn't take up the challenge, eventually the feeling of "what if" would take over and it would be all he could think about for hours. On the other hand, he really wasn't feeling awake and alert to compete against someone who had dedicated his life to martial arts. Either he fought, possibly winning but likely losing, or just forfeited before starting, a stipulation Robin would use later to get him into the ring.
"Not much of a choice," Beast Boy thought to himself. "You still like to pick on me, don't you?" he answered as he wondered what it would be like to see Robin staring up at the lights while he stood over him.
"It's all in fun. So?"
"So it makes me think you like being an ass."
"Maybe I do. So you in or not?"
"I'll see you there," reluctantly answered the shape shifter.
"Great. Meet you there in twenty minutes. Don't be late," Robin said as he headed for the door. "Oh, by the way, I promise I won't hurt you too badly." With that, he left, leaving the changeling to wonder what he had just gotten himself into.
Twenty minutes later, he was standing across the sparring mat from Robin, both titans with their gloves on and ready to go. This was going to a tough fight and the changeling knew it. If was going to have a chance of winning the match, he was going to need a foolproof strategy that relied more on out performing then brute force. If he wasn't careful, the boy wonder would take full advantage of his recklessness and exhaustion. But to outsmart someone at their own game was a tall order for the changeling. More than likely, he was going to have to just improvise a defense and hope for the best. Maybe lady luck would be on his side this time around.
"You ready?" Robin asked as he took center mat and set into a proper kung-fu stance.
"You mean are you ready to lose," the green-skinned titan answered.
"Only you know that," the titan leader snidely commented.
Feeling enraged and very irritated, the changeling threw all caution to the wind and went on an all-out offensive assault. Like a wild animal possessed by a horde of demons, he tossed punches with all the power and energy he could muster. If he was going to end up losing the fight, then so be it. But it wasn't going to be for a lack of trying. No way was he going to suffer defeat because he just stood still and let himself fail. Robin was going to have to make a real attempt, least that's what the changeling hoped would be the result.
But the chaotic attack plan was just what the boy wonder had been hoping for and why he had been so antagonizing. Disorder and confusion were how Robin became so successful. By keeping a level head while everyone else was losing theirs, he was able to take advantage of mistakes that people made. All he had to do was avoid the fists and wait for the perfect time to strike. The shape shifter had to learn a very valuable lesson; stop allowing Robin get under his skin.
"Perfect," Robin thought to himself as he parried and dodge the incoming fists. "Come on Beast Boy. Can't you hit me?"
"Stop it already," the shape shifter snapped.
"Ok." With that response, the boy wonder caught one of the incoming fists, maneuvered his hand around to take a firm hold of the wrist, and pulled the changeling into a solid kick to the chest, sending Beast Boy to the ground and ending the match. "Nice try, really. But you gotta work on it a little more."
"Yeah yeah," Beast Boy said staring up from the flood, reaching his hand out so Robin could help him back to his feet. Just as he wanted, the titan leader reached out his hand as a grateful victor. But still upset, the changeling wanted a little revenge for the taunts that led to his defeat. This time he took a firm hold of the boy wonder's wrist, and without warning he forced all his bodyweight back to the ground, taking Robin down with him.
"See ya later," the changeling said with a little smugness in his voice as he headed for the door. It might not have been fair, but it felt good to see Robin cover his face in slight embarrassment for being tricked like he had been. "Hi Raven. Bye Raven," he continued as he left the gym, passing the dark sorceress as he did so.
"Uh…bye," the reclusive titan responded, surprised to see her friend leaving the gym so early in the morning. Pausing for a moment to perhaps see why the changeling was in such a rush to leave, she caught Robin slowly getting to his feet to dust himself off. A small grin briefly crosser her face as her mind put together a possible scenario to explain what might have happened. She, Cyborg, and Starfire were all aware of the tension that had been building up between Beast Boy and Robin. They also knew that the boy wonder took advantage of his position on the team to bend situations to his advantage. It was a nice change of events to see karma come back and bite someone else in the ass.
Later that day, all the titans were kicking back taking it easy, doing whatever they wanted to do to relax as crime was being slow and being taken care of by the local authorities. For Cyborg, that meant trying to put some finishing touches on new refinements for his car and sketching up new diagrams for several ideas that he was eager to test out. Robin was taking refuge in his room, pouring over and trying to decipher countless clues Slade had left behind. Starfire scrambled around the kitchen, mixing random ingredients for yet another one of her million so-called puddings. Raven was letting herself become deeply engrossed in one of her many books, allowing herself to be almost completely unaware that her best friend was creating a ruckus looking for something she was calling "klogbork". And Beast Boy, well he finally managed to get the nap he wanted, passed out and sleeping silently on the sofa opposite side of Raven.
"Friend," Starfire called out from the kitchen, "would you like to enjoy my latest pudding?"
Raven, unaware that she was being talked to, didn't respond.
"Friend Raven," the Tameranean stated again, this time a little louder and standing right in front of the pale skinned titan, "would you like some pudding?"
"What kind of pudding?" the sorceress replied in her normal monotone, eyebrow raised as she looked up from the pages of her book.
"A pudding of romance," a wide smile on the alien princess' face.
A hint of suspicion and curiosity in her voice, Raven gave a straight forward defense to avoid consuming anything Starfire made. "Why do you think I'd be interested in something with that name?"
"You have yet to find someone that loves you deeply and wishes to be in your company. I am hoping that in consuming this, you will be able to find him."
"Starfire, I really appreciate your concern about my personal life, but really, I cannot let myself be involved in a romantic relationship. Friendship is the best I can do. It's too dangerous for me to let things go any farther than that. Out of everyone here, you should be the one that knows that the best. I know you just want to help me, but my answer is no. Sorry."
"I understand. You are correct. I hope that I did not upset you, friend," the orange-skinned replied as she looked over at the sleeping changeling. There was a chance that he might be open to trying something she had created, even if he made several jokes about her creations in the past. Over time, she learned that the changeling never intended to offend her, just amuse.
But before Starfire even had a chance to take a single step towards her other friend, the tower's alarm when off for the first time that day. Thirty seconds later, she and the others were in the meeting room where Robin was typing away to find out who was causing a problem and where it was. And since the day had been so dull for the titans, there was a little disappointment that they weren't going to be getting any real challenge from what was coming their way. It was just Dr. Light playing super villain, trying to help himself to a large sum of the bank's assets.
"Hey, Rae," Beast Boy said stifling a yawn as he rubbed one of his eyes, "want to take him solo? Bet he'll beg to go back to jail when you show up."
"Probably not going to work," Robin responded as he tried to zoom in on the villain's suit. "I think he made a few additions to his suit. He might have made something to feel safe from Raven. But don't worry; I'm sure you want to sit this out. We can take care of this without you."
"Fuck you," the changeling shot back as he downloaded the coordinates onto his communicator, the device doubling as a GPS device since Cyborg had modified them a few weeks back. Soon as he was able to, he was out the door, transformed into an hawk, and flying high in the sky. Not once did he think Robin was just taking another jab at him for opening his mouth. His mind was thinking that since he couldn't win a sparring match, there was something he had to prove. He was still a good protector, he was still a strong fighter, and he could take care of himself.
Just as the changeling arrived on location, Light was making his way out of the bank, struggling to drag a large sack of money.
"The titans," the mad scientist said chuckling to himself, "people think they'll always come to save the day. They're too unreliable to really depend on."
"Think again," Beast Boy shouted, dropping from the air. It was only from about eight feet up, but it added a dramatic flair the changeling enjoyed and spooked his foe.
"I don't think I will," Dr. Light quipped. But he soon realized that he had caught the changeling in a very bad mood. Almost as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he was on his back with a pair of bull horns pointed in his face.
"Can't you see you suck at this," the changeling laughed as he reverted back from his animal form and firmly placed his boot on his defeated enemy's chest.
"I think you mean to say that you can't see anything," the master of light responded as he pointed his hand in the changeling's face. Before Beast Boy could close his eyes or turn away, a bright flash blinded him, forcing him to fall back and cover his face. "Really," the doctor said to himself as he gathered his stolen goods, "too unreliable."
"Stop right where you are," Robin shouted, arriving just as the shape shifter was starting to recover some of his sight.
"You titans have really lost your edge. I already showed your friend that he's no match for my latest creations. I'll just have to show you the same thing."
Without a response, the four remaining titans charge at the overly confident criminal. Dr. Light however didn't show any signs of panic as the titans might have expected. Instead he dropped his goods and fired a barrage of lasers, most of them missing by miles but a few managing to be on target. Luckily for Raven, her black magic was more than enough to protect her. But there was no way she was going to be able to save her friends. The boy wonder was struck several times in the chest, the strikes knocking the wind out of him. The Tamaranean was hit on both her shoulders and hurled back through a brick wall. And Cyborg was hit in the shins, tossing him off balance and sending him face first into the pavement.
"I knew that wouldn't be enough for you," Light stated as he raised his hand, "this was designed just for you." Before he had a chance to demonstrate what his new invention was capable of, several green tentacles wrapped around his wrists and wrenched his arms behind his back, nearly dislocating both shoulders and causing an extraordinarily amount of pain.
"Ok, ok, I give. You win, I lose. Please stop," the defeated cried, begging for mercy as his finger stretched out and frantically looked for a button to push.
"I don't believe you," Raven responded coldly, trying to probe into Light's mind. "What sort of idiots do you take us for?"
"Just the sort that can't keep me here," the criminally insane genius answered, his fingertips finding what they were searching for. Before any of the titans were able to react, a bright fully engulfed them and kept them all blinded for several minutes. When they could see clearly once more, Dr. Light had escaped. His bounty was still there, but there was no trace of his escape.
"Ok, what just happened? How'd he get away?" Beast Boy asked, changing back from being a squid, confusion etched in his face.
"You tell us," Robin responded, "you were the one that stopped him before he could use any more of his weapons on us."
"I…I…I don't know," the shape shifter stammered as he put a couple fingers to the side of his temple as he tried to replay the experience in his mind. He had felt Light's wrists firmly secured in his grasp, was blinded by the extreme illumination, and suddenly felt nothing but air. "I had him. I'm sure I did. I didn't let go. I swear I didn't let him go. You gotta believe me."
"It's ok," Cyborg cut in, trying to offer a little comfort in the situation. "He couldn't have gotten far."
Still, the look of bewilderment and frustration in the changeling's eyes sent a very clear message; he was feeling terrible about losing hold of someone that surrendered more often than not when he and the titans came in to save the day. Combining that failure, or what Beast Boy viewed as a failure, an edgy attitude from having trouble sleeping over the past several weeks, and a certain amount of discontent about his personal life, the green skinned titan just let the encouraging words go in one ear and out the other. He let himself get so engrossed in the recent past that he missed almost everything Robin was rambling about.
"…and I won't let that guy just get away like that. We're going to protect this city like we promised and put that asshole back in prison where he belongs. I don't want to hear any arguments. It's my call and that's final. Got it?" the boy wonder practically shouted.
"You need to calm down. He's not a murderer looking for his next victim. He's one step up from snatching purses and robbing gas stations," Raven countered in a very calm voice. "I can't believe that you or anyone else on the team would want to spend all their time running around the city looking for someone that has the technology to teleport himself out of danger. It's not worth the time or effort. When he shows his face again, we'll be ready for him. Until then, we wait."
"Damn," the changeling thought. He wanted to fix his ego and put Light away like Robin had been saying. But at the same time, he wished he had been the one to counter the boy wonder's shouting in such a calm manner. Like everyone else on the team, the changeling admired the control Raven had over her emotions. And the point she made held up. Wasting time on an endless search would just make things worse for him.
At that point, Cyborg jumped in. If he had been silent up until that moment, Beast Boy was unaware. But what he said actually managed to give the changeling a little hope, hope that he might be able fix his mistake and his ego. "If you could give me a little time, I might be able to figure out a few things about Light's tech. I can't replicate it without getting my hands on that suit, but I might be able to figure out where he had to make it. He could have burned out some circuits or drained the batteries in his suit with a trick like that. For all we know, that was a trial run."
"Why do you think that?" the green-skinned titan asked, finally speaking up for the first time.
"I dunno, just my instincts. But like I said, if we head back to the tower, I can try to figure it out. Raven's right; it's a waste of time to run around aimlessly."
"I said…" Robin started to say, trying to exercise his authority.
"Shut up," Starfire finished much to everyone's shock. The princess almost never cut the boy wonder off mid-sentence and so far hadn't raised her voice against him. But she definitely had the desired effect. Robin stopped and just stared at her. Slowly, the titans agreed to Cyborg's idea. There really wasn't another plan to compete with it and it did have a chance for success.
With a slightly lighter spirit, Beast Boy wondered if he would ever want to face Light or any other criminal alone ever again, assuming the opportunity ever presented itself again. Even as he rode back to the tower with the others in Cyborg's car, he let himself get carried away with his thoughts. He remembered that even though he had ruled out leaving the team, the idea came back to him more enticing then before. There was a world outside the tower and he just needed to go for it. Maybe losing his captive was the final sign he needed to show him that it was time for the superhero costume to be retired.
Just as soon as he thought that he was going to make an announcement that he was no longer going to be Beast Boy, just Garfield Logan, his ego stopped him. If he was going to leave, it wasn't going to be because of a bad day. Having personal issues that stopped him from being dedicated to the team was one thing. But quitting because of a failure, that decision would end up haunting him for the rest of his life and he knew it. No, he wasn't going to quit now, not just yet. A normal life would have to wait. His friends would appreciate that if they knew what he had been thinking, right?
The changeling's silence and increased social withdrawal on the way back to the tower didn't go unnoticed by the other titans. In fact, his recent conduct became what they were all talking about after the subject of Light's retreat had been put to rest. Even Raven, who would prefer to stay out of conversations that sounded like gossip rather then get involved with them, stated her own concerns in a way that didn't allow anyone to know how gravely worried she really was. As a whole, the team was losing a friend that they had depended on for years, a blow that could be as crippling as a death. They needed to get him back to the way he used to be: fun, energetic, dependable, and sometimes even comical.
They only differed on what way they should go about confronting the issue. All the titans really agreed on was that there wasn't much time to snap Beast Boy back to how he used to be. The second biggest concern however was what if they took the wrong approach. It could be devastating, making the changeling's condition worse then what it would have been.
Robin thought that it would be best to get it over with using a very direct approach. He wanted to sit Beast Boy down and either ask or demand an explanation as to why he was being reserved and isolated. The other titans probably wouldn't be actually involved, just there to make sure he didn't step over the line and make things worse than they already were. None of the others wanted to go along with the idea. The boy wonder was hard to restrain when he got worked up.
Cyborg had a fairly similar idea. He thought that since he and the changeling had been like brothers most of the time that they had worked together, he could use that friendship to reach out to his buddy. It would definitely be a more private and comfortable approach. The changeling wouldn't feel pressured and loosen up little by little until he confessed his problems to someone he knew he could trust.
Starfire on the other hand wondered if perhaps the anniversary of a tragedy in the green titan's life was coming around soon. Or maybe he had received some bad news about someone in his past, and he wasn't sure on how he was going handle it. She didn't really know all that much about the changeling's life before the team had been formed years ago. Thus, upon considering those things, she thought a traditional Tameranean buffet could cheer the changeling up just enough for him to show a crack in his defenses. Eventually she or one of the other titans could come in help their friend put himself back together when he was ready.
As for Raven, she didn't think that she would be the right person to try prying into the shape shifter's personal problems. Sure, she had a knack for giving some of the best advice and what was probably the best way to go about implementing it. The titans had even come to rely on her for the unique talent. Still, when it all came down to it, they had always come to her when they felt they had no other ideas of their own. She wasn't the one to see them out. Since the team began, it had always been that way. And while she would never allow the others to know it, she dealt with the concern that she would misguide her friends on a near constant basis.
As it was, the dark sorceress wasn't too worried on whether or not she would be able to figure out what the root of the changeling's problem was. Almost every time Beast Boy had come to her for help, he poured out his soul before she got a chance to ask him. And a simple solution soon followed and resolved everything. Balance within the team was restored and one more problem was put to rest. With history like that, the real problem was that her green-skinned friend was keeping it to himself instead of letting people know what was bothering him. Actually, most of the apprehension the titan felt was from trying so desperately to keep a secret of her own completely unknown to her friends.
From the moment the titans had met, officially formed, and began to work together, Raven felt that emotions were starting to become a little more restless and more difficult to control. The aspect of her happiness was entertained by the shape shifters constant attempts at being humorous. Courage admired him as soon as it had become aware the changeling had spent the majority of his life using his gift to make the world a better place. The timid and fearful part of the dark sorceress was comforted by the excessive kindness and seemingly endless forgiveness the shape shifter had, perhaps to take focus off his unusual skin color. The other aspects of the empathetic titan also had their own reasons for having interest in Beast Boy. The only emotion that wanted absolutely nothing to do green skinned was rage and hatred. That part of Raven loathed and despised all living things, but especially Beast Boy. And since it would quickly take control of the pale skinned titan's dark magic as soon as it had a chance, Raven vowed that she would never allow herself to get into a situation where she might let her secret be known. This was one of those moments.
What could happen if she did take the initiative to help her troubled friend this time around? What if she let down her guard for just a moment? Would her confession just make matters worse for the changeling? Would it end up driving him further away from where she wanted him to be? Could he accept what she said and feel the same way about her? Or would he laugh it off, thinking that she was just playing with him and tell her that they had been and always would be "just friends"? Or what if they did manage to hit it off, and as they were beginning to make something wonderful happen, Terra actually showed up again? What would happen then? Would she have to feel her heart break, the thing she had tried to avoid all her life, because the changeling's original love interest came back into the picture? Or would he stay with her still? The friendship they had now could never come back. Every time she would see him, she would only be able to feel envy for Terra, rage against Beast Boy, and a never ending sense of self-pity for losing the boy she loved after she had taken such a drastic risk to have him.
But what if they carried on together, even if the geomancer came back? Would they stay at the tower with the rest of the titans? Would they leave the team and even the city she had learned to call home? Could that new chapter in her life be a sign for all the others that times had changed and they were all to go their separate ways? So many questions, and even more remained to be wondered. A simple choice, but a life altering one, lay in front of Raven. As much as she wanted to, in this circumstance, toss what she had learned all her life out the window, she knew that couldn't do anything to risk the safety of her friends. Perhaps that was the greatest way she could show the shape shifter she loved him, the sacrifice of her personal life for his well-being and save him from her. A single tear stained her cheek as she promised herself that that was the choice to make. Quickly and discretely, she concealed the fact that she ever cried.
"Ok, we'll have to think about this later," Robin said as Cyborg parked his car in the garage, "right now we have to see if we can find Light and put him away. Me and Cy will call you guys when we figure out something important."
As the boy wonder and Cyborg slowly started getting to work on Dr. Light's mysterious escape and sought out a way to figure it all out, Raven took one last look at Beast Boy before he walked off to be by himself. Saving him couldn't wait. If nothing was down this night, if nobody intervened right away, if a radical change in the shape shifter's behavior didn't suddenly dawn on him, he would become completely lost to the team. But most importantly, Beast Boy would be lost to her…forever.
Author's Corner
I know I haven't written in a long time and am probably out of practice. However, I do still enjoy coming up with stories from time to time so I have decided to write this one out and post it. If you enjoy it, lemme know. If you hate it, lemme know. I only request that if you do make a review, make it constructive.
I will try to post something at least every two weeks or so. But please be patient if I'm slow about doing it. I am a perfectionist and refuse to post anything that I wouldn't enjoy reading myself.