These Are Our Hearts

This is my heart, this is my love. Take it or leave it, just admit you feel the same, because I know you do. AshSoot, BreezeJay, TigerFire, slight BerryBirch, incest.

Sgfhjfkdsgfhdjksl; First of all, I blame Kari Kurofai for getting me hooked on AshSoot and BreezeJay, AND BerryBirch. I was already obsessed with TigerFire on my own, so that's my fault xD Umberheart is my own character, my warriorsona in fact, and she's mentioned somewhere in one of these chapters. Also, I couldn't decide whether Sootfur had yellow eyes or blue eyes (because in one book it says blue, while another says yellow…), so I gave him one of each! HAHA! Am I fantastical or what? o3o

Ashfur shuffled his feet nervously, staring at his paws. Above the tom, the stars Silverpelt twinkled, but he paid them no notice. His mind was only on one thing, or one cat. His body felt much heavier than it should, as well as his heart, which ached like a thousand badly-stitched scars. His head hung, and his tail quivered. His gray, darker-flecked fur was slick and well-groomed, not a hair out of place. With good reason.

Before him was the lake, the reflection of the stars sparkling in it. It was night, obviously, and the nearly full moon cast the world around him in a blue hue, and his bright blue eyes gave off a light glow against the dark sky, but the emotions in them were indecipherable. His expression was guarded, even though no one was around to see. He was alone. He had been ever since he had convinced himself that he loved Squirrelflight, only to lose her to Brambleclaw. He had only feigned his 'love' for her so that he could deny the truth…

Another gray tom approached, sitting beside him. His fur was also neat, but it looked much softer, and was a lighter, more delicate shade than Ashfur's, markless and scarless, which was almost unheard of among cats his age. He wasn't old, neither of them were, but Clanlife was hard and unforgiving. They both considered themselves lucky to keep their good looks unspoiled.

The newcomer's eyes were brilliant, or at least Ashfur thought they were. One was dark blue, with a light in them that always made the flecked tom's heart skip a beat. The other was a wonderful golden-amber, which could light up the sun on any leafbare morning. The handsome tom spoke, his voice calm and flowing like water over smooth pebbles, "You wanted to see me, Ashfur?"

Ashfur's heart leapt into his throat, and he found it difficult to speak, before he spluttered out, "Um, yes, Sootfur. I-I wanted to tell you something, something that I think is very important." His voice hitched uncharacteristically, and he dug his silver claws into the ground, cursing himself for sounding so odd.

When he paused too long, Sootfur raised a brow, amusement dancing in his mismatched, yet so beautifully matched orbs. "Well?" He inquired, scooting closer to the flecked warrior, giving the slightest of smirks when Ashfur let out a small yelp as his fur brushed against Sootfur's. "Spit it out." His tone was gentle and teasing, but it still managed to make Ashfur shiver.

Ashfur stared at Sootfur with wide eyes. Did he know? He couldn't-- he hadn't been that obvious about it, had he?! StarClan, he hoped not--! "SootfurIloveyouIdon'tcareifStarClandoesn'tapprovejustlovemeplease!" He blurted out in one breath. He hadn't even realized he had said it until Sootfur froze, then purred louder than the water-monsters that Twolegs rode on during greenleaf.

Ashfur grew so hot under his fur that his cheeks actually gained a pink tint to them.

Sootfur rubbed his flank against his fellow Clanmate-- or just "mate"?-- and murmured in a deep rumble that Ashfur knew he himself could never pull off, even though his half-brother was younger than he, "I've been waiting for you to finally tell me." The younger warrior dug his face into the older tom's neck fur, inhaling his scent that reminded him somehow or blueberries.

Ashfur shivered again, but this time didn't even bother trying to hide it. "But, Sootfur…" Said tom stopped his advances temporarily, gazing up into his face curiously. "We're both toms. We can't… we can't do this." Sootfur blinked, traces of disbelief etching itself on his features.

"I thought you said you didn't care if StarClan didn't approve?" Both of the lighter tom's brows were raised in question, and his tail swished from side-to-side once in slight annoyance.

"W-well… I changed my mind. Do you really want to go through all of the hatred we'll have to face if we get together?" Ashfur questioned, hoping to reason with his younger half-sibling, while at the same time hoping not to.

Sootfur stared at him for a few agonizingly long seconds, before mewing, "Berrynose and Birchfall seem to be doing just fine." and resumed his advances, once again burying his muzzle in Ashfur's fur.

Ashfur's eyes widened almost comically, fur fluffing up a little in shock, making Sootfur chuckle as his face was tickled by puffed flecked fur. "B-Berrynose and Birchfall?!" Ashfur squeaked, having never even noticed or considered such a thing. But, now that he'd thought about it… was he really so oblivious?

"Yes, Berrynose and Birchfall. It's quite clear to everyone, and no one really seems to give half a mouse's tail in the least. At least one same-sex relationship comes around in every generation, in every Clan." Sootfur explained, smirking at Ashfur's wince at the word 'sex.' "Firestar told me himself. But he did seem a bit off when he told me. I think he may even have some experience in that field himself." Ashfur looked at him in complete bafflement.

"Firestar? But… I thought he loved Sandstorm?! A she-cat?!"

"He does." Sootfur amended, then added, "But apparently he loved someone else who is dead now even more than her… and Spottedleaf." Ashfur blinked at him stupidly. Spottedleaf? Who was-- oh right, of course. That dead medicine cat. He never really thought of her much, even when he was an apprentice and the elders would babble on about her, and how great she was. She sounded a little too great if someone asked him. He had doubted that she really existed, especially when the elder's tales of her started to get annoying. Huh. So he guessed those rumors of Spottedleaf and Firestar were true…

"But we're half brothers." Ashfur tried feebly, but as he expected, Sootfur didn't stop. Not even a pause.

"And I care why?" The younger tom meowed with the smallest hint of a growl in his voice, and Ashfur realized he must be getting a little irritated by his fighting. Sighing, he relaxed, and returned Sootfur's purrs just as loudly, if not more. He knew he could not change Sootfur's mind. He closed his eyes.

We'll get through this. He opened one eye to glare challengingly at the stars that he knew were watching them. Whether you approve or not. This is my heart, this is my love. Their pelts intermingled into one flawless shade of gray. They would never have it any other way.

A/N: Review?