A/N: Don't ask….just a thought I needed to ramble out :3 Near is probably OOC…sorreh.

Disclaimers are used to disclaim.

Warning: TYPING IN THE DARK. (Sex themes)

Sex With you Would be Nice

~Nate~

Mello had tried every way known to cause me grief me over the years…then he started getting truly creative. I've gotten used to strange creatures appearing in my food (PB &Jellyfish anyone?), to things hidden in my toys and ceiling that play music in the middle of the night or say inappropriate things ever minute or so, to waking up to find that all of my clothes are gone and a large diaper is the only thing in my closet (Roger apparently doesn't believe in being nudist, I was grounded for a week), but this was new.

"Come on Near, please!" Matt clasp his hands together, "You have to or he'll get mad at me!" He moved his brunette hair out of the way so I could see his pout more clearly, though we both knew it was an act, Mello never really got angry with him and Matt didn't care about anything enough to plead like this.

I sighed, "I told Matt, I am busy, if he and Mello require me for something they can find me later."

Matt huffed and wrapped his arms around me, " teddy-bear?" I could feel him almost gag as he said it and wondered what Mello had offered to get him to make himself this insufferable.

He was leaning over me, rocking me slightly as he whined and cooed at me, trying his best to make me irate, I sighed once again and managed to look sidelong at him, "If I come will Matt go back to being Matt?"

He nodded, giving me big hopeful eyes and letting me go. The second we were out of the common room he let his figure relax, pulling out his game and basically ignoring me, clearly his job was done.

When we reached Mello's room he pushed the door open with his foot, waited until I entered and kicked it shut, being the only person who could get away with that kind of thing.

Mello was lying sprawled across his bed, hair disheveled, lips slightly swollen, eyes half lidded, and completely naked, once hand lazily trailing up and down his stomach, carefully avoiding the whipped cream.

"Mello wished to see me?" I asked, gaze lowered as I tried not to look at him, Matt's feet entered my vision as he moved toward the bed and a moment later I heard the sound of fabric shifting before a stripped shirt landed on the floor.

Mello chuckled, "Yeah….Mattie and I were talking and we thought, hey, sex with you would be nice."

I studied the lampshade to his right as I answered, my voice just barely wavering, "Thoughtful, but I'm afraid I must decline." Whumph. Oh look, Matthew's pants…and belt….and boxers have been introduced to Mello's floor.

"Oh, who said you could?" my head jerked so I was facing them because Matt's voice when he said that was even more out-of-character for him then the whiny one earlier.

Mistake. Big mistake. Matt was leaning over Mello licking the whipped cream off of him, Mello slowly licked his lips as he watched Matt, eyes flicking up to me every few moments.

I turned crimson, backing up, "Rape is illegal Matt." Where was the door?

He smirked; Mello pulled his goggles away so that his blue eyes were suddenly very bright, "It's not rape if you like it Near."

I blinked, "I assure you I would not like it" I fumbled for the door again and Mello laughed, "It's locked sheep-boy, so come here or we'll drag you."

I swallowed hard, seeing they were serious about this terrified me. I shook my head vigorously, "No Mello."

Another low chuckle followed his laugh this time and suddenly Matt's body was flush against me, "We won't hurt you, don't worry so much." He pulled me to their bed and both of them moved to pull off my clothes as I struggled.

The second Matt's mouth closed around my soft member I was theirs.

A/N: What the hell brain? You give me this crap and then, nope no lemons here, sorry this is a grapefruit stand. DAMN YOU!

Review for grapefruit! (does anyone even like that stuff?)