Warning: This fic may not be what it seems at first. Give it a chance. And some mild swearing in here too. And Yami Bakura will probably be a little OOC, but I'm just trying to keep it light hearted for the humour prospect.
I do not, have not, or ever will own neither YuGiOh nor anything else you have ever heard of. I disclaim it ALL. Except for the people, that if you search on google, you will never find. You savvy?
Names:
Ryou (the nice guy) -Bakura in this fic.
Yami Bakura -Yami no Bakura " " "
Tea- Anzu " " " (which means Apricots 8D)
Yami-Atemu (his real name is either Atem or Bel Um Fal…but I like Atem better)
Another note on Malik's name, Malik's name IS Malik. Marik is how it's pronounced in Japanese, because there is no l in the language. Mariku is how it's spelled.
End Author's note! o
Start Fic!
As Bakura sat down at his desk in high school, he groaned in pain. He hurt so much after his lesson last night from his Darker Self. Cuts, scrapes and bruises covered his thin frame, and he looked exhausted.
"Dude, you look like shit. What happened?"
The almost albino spoke without thinking,
"I jumped off the top floor of the Kaiba Corporation."
Joey blinked. Twice. Three times. Had it not been for Kaiba's intervention Joey might not have stopped,
"And pulled the 'K' off as well, I might add. You know I'm suing you? You'll receive a warning in the post tomorrow."
Bakura nodded tiredly.
But alas, I get ahead of myself. Allow me to explain.
A while ago, while Yami No Bakura was plotting to steal the millennium puzzle, Bakura himself was walking along, calculating just how long it would take to do his homework and if he could still possibly meet Yugi at five o'clock. As it happened, Bakura was not paying attention to where he was going and walked straight into street with a big, glowing, green, traffic light. The spirit, irked out of his thoughts by the activation of the ring, acted immediately to defend his host body. He did this by taking possession of the boy and darting to the other side of the road. It was then, panting, that he realised something, something that was lacking,
To get the puzzle, force might be needed. To use force one must have power. To have power, one must be in top physical condition…none of those qualities did his host possess. Frustration once again set in at the interruption of his flawless plans, and this was once again his host's fault.
That's when he thought of "the lessons". To the average person, Bakura would come away from home, with what looked like a savage beating. Somehow, word of "the lessons" got out to his fanclub, who spread the word further, how far, no one knows. But what actually happens during "the lessons" was something completely different.
In fact, Yami No Bakura took it upon his bodiless-self, to teach Bakura how to be a fit and daring thief. Needless to say, it had often involved much physical pain, though Bakura himself inflicted a large majority of that by tripping or messing up. This was how he came to clinging to the ledge of Kaiba Corp. Randomly blacking out and finding himself in precarious situations like this was beginning to be expected, and apparently, his Spirit had decided he needed a lesson in leaping from tall buildings to add to his training. Though he didn't quite appreciate the gun being aimed at his head by a guard to do so, he would have gladly let go if he could figure out how the hell his Darkness would save their shared body from being splattered over the ground below.
Alas, he had no choice. The spirit acted for him. His hands released the ledge and he fell, briefly, on top of the "K", until that, too, began to fall away from the side of the building. Yami No Bakura smirked, apparently also in control of Bakura's facial area, while Bakura himself was inwardly screaming,
'I'MGONNADIEI'MGONNADIEI'MGONNADIE-" The letter creaked and groaned as it pulled away from the structure that held it there. The metal beneath the boy's weight and impact twisted and bent. The guard above watched with a wide-eyed expression that simply read,
"Oh shit…" as the large symbol pulled further backwards, stretching the limits of the metal frame.
For twenty long, tense seconds it hung there, Yami No Bakura clinging to it, apparently displeased at the delay of destruction. However, the delay came to a halt as the Spirit kicked the K with contempt. The letter snapped free and fell immediately. Through the wind, Bakura could hear the guard yelling for back up, assistance, an ambulance, ANYTHING that would avoid him getting fired. He wanted to close his eyes, to not see the approaching ground from his flight, but the kisei yarou of a spirit kept them open, gleefully drinking in his panic.
They were approaching the ground very fast now…only fifty feet left to go, when suddenly Yami No Bakura released the letter and leapt to the side, somehow ending up sliding across a linoleum floor inside…
Bakura wondered if he really wanted to tell kaiba to shut his windows in future…but his thoughts came to a standstill as he noticed HE was the one now sliding without any hope of stopping, and not his deranged soul-partner. And joy, he was heading straight for a bookcase…
But back to the story at hand. Fortunately, Joey didn't press for details but to Bakura's dismay, Kaiba was still complaining,
"You ALSO damaged many books when you made that IDIOTIC entrance-"
"Oh just shut up, Kaiba!"
Kaiba glanced at Joey, taken aback at the obnoxious way he was spoken to,
"Dog's should be taught their place, Wheeler, but obviously YOU were an exclusion to this rule." He stalked away to his seat, glaring at anyone who got in his way. Joey snorted,
"What a jerk." Bakura chuckled at that despite his aching,
"And he still hasn't given up on the Mutt line."
Bakura shook his head, sending his white hair into disarray and frowned at it. Joey grinned at him,
"Get some hairspray. It really works."
"HEY! BAKURA! JOEY!" Yugi beamed at them at waded his way over to his seat next to them, accompanied by a smiling Anzu.
"Hey, guys…have you seen Tristan?" Anzu asked, "I haven't seen him since Tuesday!"
Joey grinned again, and with a sly look, began in a confidential whisper, "He's supposed to be home, sick. But really he's just trying to get the green hair dye I dropped on his head out of his hair."
Yugi gave him an odd look and Bakura just fished some books out of his bag, smiling at the amusing images,
"Why green hair dye?"
There was a long pause as Joey considered this,
"…Why hair dye or why green?" Anzu fell over from exasperation,
"It's like the chicken or the egg question reinvented!" A trickle of embarrassed sweat ran down Joey's face,
A teacher entered the room and a few people glanced up from their talk and card games. He smiled,
"Kids, I have an announcement. We will have a new addition to the class!"
A few more people glanced up. Kaiba not taking the least bit of interest, in fact, he wasn't even sure why he was there.
The teacher smiled as he introduced a young woman to the class,
"This is Miss Jasine Murazaki" he said gaily, and placed a fishing hat upon his head as he marched out of the door. Quite a few of the faces of the class, Bakura's included, watched her eagerly as she in turn watched the male teacher leave with a whoop. She swallowed nervously. Fear.
A few more faces looked up at her. The pink, knee length skirt, the yellow blouse, the shiny black stiletto heels, the pristine, dyed-blonde hair… She opened her mouth and closed it again, slightly resembling a fish. A buzz of hushed conversations circulated around the classroom, over the various duels going on. They knew immediately what she was, she needed no introduction. The students of Domino High knew what they held in their grasp:
…A new teacher. Or to some, fresh prey.
Jasine Murazaki knew what was to become of her at that moment: She was going to be ripped to pieces.
The classes that day went reasonably, for a new teacher that is. She learnt of the troublemakers, the light bulbs, and the lower wattage bright light bulbs. And surprisingly, the first question she was asked was if she was free on Saturday night. She had flushed indignantly as the boy asking snickered at her discomfort, and she promptly replied that she had married, was divorced, had a child, and kindly asked him to shut up or she'd stuff a ruler where the sun SHOULD never shine. But hey, the sun's business is it's own, y'know…
The boy pouted and was silent. Bakura acknowledged the woman. She wasn't a bad teacher, perhaps a bit on the impatient side, and as all boys do, he assessed her capability as a mate…perhaps that was his Spirit speaking, but he immediately recoiled at the thought of himself and Miss. Murazaki and shuddered slightly. That was wrong on so many levels.
However, one important lesson was learnt that day. And that is-
"DAMN! I knew I shouldn't have used that pick-up line…" Anzu patted Joey on the back awkwardly and waved at the students who cursed him for getting them all extra homework as they passed.
To never bait a teacher.
The students were filing out slowly Yugi, Joey, Anzu and Bakura were hanging by the lockers waiting for everyone to leave,
"So, Yug, I'm coming over, yeah?"
"Yep! At six!"
"And you're bringing pizza." Anzu added cheerfully and Joey's face darkened,
"Yeah, yeah, don't remind me…"
"You really shouldn't have betted on Tristan winning that fight, Joey."
"You TOO, Bakura? Why is everyone against me!"
"Because betting is wrong."
"You betted too, Yugi."
"Anzuuuuu! Don't spoil it!" Yugi whined at the taller girl who began to giggle.
Joey grumbled at them,
"What about you, Bakura? Are you coming?" Bakura looked at him thoughtfully,
"…To be honest, I don't think I can make it…" Yugi made a pitiful noise,
"Why nooooot? We've been planning for weeks for this sleepover!"
Joey gave Yugi a light, playful smack,
"Don't be such a girl, Yug." The spiky haired teen gave a sigh and smacked Joey back.
"But still, why can't you make it? …That is, if you don' mind me asking…" Anzu trailed off.
"Ah," Bakura smiled slightly, "I do have a lot of homework, thanks to somebody, though I'm not one to name names, and my father is coming to visit."
Their faces lightened considerably,
"Oh! It's been ages since you've seen him last, hasn't it?"
"Yes, more than six months now." Bakura's smile became slightly wider,
"I bet you're looking forward to it, huh? When did you find out?" Joey inquired, as the group started to walk out of the school gates,
"Only last night! He phoned up and asked me if he could come over."
Yugi grinned,
"That's great! No wonder you can't come…hey, I know! Why don't we reschedule it?"
Joey glanced up thankfully,
"Yeah!"
Anzu laughed, "I wouldn't mind!"
Bakura's smile faltered then, "Oh it's really not necessary…"
"No way! You've gotta come SOMETIME, Bakura! We have awesome slumber parties!" Anzu exclaimed, picking up on his hesitation immediately. Yugi stepped in front of Bakura, took his hand in his and got down on one knee,
"We would be most honoured by your presence, my liege." Joey cracked up at that and tumbled backwards into someone's front yard, and Bakura chuckled, playing along,
"Well if you put it that way, then I guess that I must attend the event. Rise, oh knight."
Anzu giggled softly, "You guys are so weird…"
Just then, as Bakura was about to split from the group and head to his apartment, a female voice was heard,
"Uh…excuse me…could I have a little help here?"
Tsuzuku…means to be continued
Means bastard parasite
Ah, I haven't written anything on here for such a long time now…I think I may have lost my touch…
Personally, I think this is a spontaneous, spur of the moment type fic…but…if someone out there wants it to be continued, it can easily be arranged AlsoONE MORE THING I can make it OC/Bakura or yaoi/shounen ai sorta thing…and if it comes to the OC, I swear to you, she isn't a Mary-Sue. Ever. I will shoot myself in the head before that happens. In fact, I think it would go against almost every current OC rule to date! Anyways, tell me what you think.