Contemplation
Disclaimer: I do not own Bones or Natasha Bedingfield, Soul mate
This track always makes me think of Booth and Brennan! This is my first songfic so please enjoy and review!
Incompatible, it don't matter
though
'cos someone's bound to hear my
cry
speak out if you do
you're not easy to find….
Temperance Brennan sat alone in her apartment, curled up on her sofa listening to some jazz to ease her aching mind. She and Booth had been working on a tough case which is now complete. A woman's remains were discovered in an alley way, it turned out that her husband had killed her because she no longer loved him.
Brennan is normally unaware of her loneliness and enjoys her independence but after this case she felt very much alone. She knew she had abandonment issues and isolation from others wasn't foreign to her, but tonight it seemed that the emotion became overwhelming. Years of emotion hidden finally surfacing; she began to allow the tears to fall down her face, wishing there was someone to hold her and wipe her tears away.
Is it possible Mr. Lovable
is already in my life??
right in front of me
or maybe you're in disguise
Temperance looked at her current status; single again alone. Wondering if there was anyone I haven't noticed. Looking at the men in her life Zach, her grad student and there was no chemistry there , Hodgins taken, Dr Goodman also taken and Booth ……… but there was the line which he had drawn so clearly, which felt like a scalpel cutting her heart in two.
Who doesn't long for someone to
hold
who knows to love you
without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my
own
if there's a soul mate for
everyone…..
Normally when I feel this way it's not this intense and I just seek comfort in one of my ex-boyfriends, one of my defence mechanisms. A biological release I know that's all it was for me, with them I have never made love. That's how I explain it a natural itch to disguise my need for someone in my life that means something, someone who won't leave. And love that emotion was lost long ago and I have been searching for it ever since. One of my other logical defence mechanisms its just endorphins, a trick, now I just consider myself incapable of the emotion, as it's an empty word I never hear. Marriage; I love the idea of having some one that you can trust and love with all your heart, but I guess the reason I hate the idea is that I believe that I will never have that ….everyone leaves eventually.
Here we
are again, circles never end
how do I find the perfect fit
there's enough for everyone
but I'm still waiting in line
These thoughts repeat over and over for what seems like the millionth time in my life, nothings changed but one thing. My list of ex-boyfriends gets longer and longer. I just find myself unable to show my true self, hiding behind logic which ends up pushing them away. The only one who has seen the true me is Booth, I know that I deny it every time because I know I can't cross that line but I'll be waiting on the edge just in case it weathers.
Who doesn't long for someone to
hold
who knows to love you
without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my
own
if there's a soul mate for
everyone…..
if there's a soul mate for
everyone…..
I often wonder why I'm on my own. Then I remember one of my ex-boyfriends Peter his words felt like slashes cut deep into my skin and the scars remain to this day ,so I will never forget. Cold... Emotionally distant... Intimacy issues from being an orphan Another tear falls over her sodden cheek.
Most Relationships
seem so transitory
They're all goodbut
not the permanent one
I have been happy in most of my relationships the best was Scully ….. but he to left. I couldn't go with him, although I cared about him and I knew he cared for me. Though I didn't know it at that moment, my heart belongs to another. Dr Wyatt said it was because I couldn't live without purpose, I suppose he's right the only permanent relationship I have is with my career and the only person I could have a permanent relationship is in my career.
Who doesn't long for someone to
hold
who knows to love you
without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my
own
if there's a soul mate for
everyone…..
I remember Angela forcing me to go to the cinema to see the film Never been kissed I understand what the main character meant. I've kissed many men but never had a kiss filled with love, the kiss that is meant for you and can only be shared between two people in love. Flashbacks fill my head with the times I've almost been kissed by the one; each one added a fresh tear down her face.
Who doesn't long for someone to
hold
who knows to love you
without being told
somebody tell me
why I'm on my
own
if there's a soul mate for
everyone…..
if there's a soul mate for
everyone…..
Her silence was stopped with a knock at the door; not wanting to open the door in this state she ignored it.
Another knock followed "Bones are you there?" knowing that if she didn't open the door he would probably break in she moved from her position tried to clear herself up and answered the door.
Booth looked at her she had obviously been crying her eyes reddened and puffy she turned and he followed her inside.
"Temperance are you all right?"
She forced a smile "I will be"
"Do you want to talk about it?" not wanting to push her he knew she hated being venerable, but it broke his heart to see the person her loved so upset.
They both sat on the sofa "This case just got to me" she met his eyes her icy eyes glistening "I just couldn't believe that someone would kill someone because they no longer loved them" She broke eye contact with her next words "When others have no one" Another tear fell.
Booth wiped away the tear with the pad of his thumb and pulled his Bones into an embrace. She instantly relaxed and they both took in each others scents and closed their eyes not wanting this to end. Booth pulled away slightly and put his hand under her chin his chocolate eyes meeting her sapphires.
"That's not true" He knew he had to do this, the line he had drawn was crossed long ago and he had a gut feeling she was feeling the same way "Temperance I love you"
He thought she would run at those words but she didn't move she stared at him and he could now see the love in her eyes. He leaned forward, there lips met in a passionate kiss, both pulling each other closer deepening the kiss then Bones broke away "I love you too" they both smiled at each other taking in everything ……..There is a soul mate for everyone.