Hey guys! Welcome, once again, to another one of my random oneshots. Please enjoy yourselves!~! ^ u ^
Us/Uk: Don't like don't read. (But that's kinda hard.)
BEWARE: Self harm and a mention of suicide.
This oneshot goes to one of my absolute favorite songs, 'Tears of an Angel", by RyanDan. They are the shiz people! XD Look 'em up!
Disclaimer: (Ever): S-She doesn't o-own anything! DX (Unless I want to. ^ u ^ I have connections people. OuO)
ENJOY!
-
Cover my eyes..
Light penetrated the thin window curtains, yet everything was dark.
To him there was no point in worrying about that.
He already knew he was blind.
And he already knew his love was dead.
Cover my ears...
-
Not a sound shifted through the empty house.
The house that used to be so filled with laughter and love.
But then there was the accident, and now all he has are his memories.
Tell me these words are a lie...
-
He woke up in the hospital with tears in the corner of his dull green eyes.
A single tear broke apart from the rest and plummeted down his cheek to rest at the base of his chin.
Everything was dark.
'He's awake!' the sound of relief, but no face.
'Welcome back son, how do you feel?'
A pause.
'It's dark. Why are the lights off?'
'They aren't Arthur. The lights are still on. ' There was pain in that voice.
'I'm blind.'
Silence.
'...yes, I'm so sorry.'
Panic surfed through him in waves.
The numbness was fading, and he could feel the pain.
'What happened?'
Pleading eyes.
'I am so, so sorr-"
"What HAPPENED!"
Speeding heart.
"Now sir! Please! Calm down!"
Beep...beep...beep..beep...beepbeepbeepbeep!
"WHAT HAPPENED!"
"Sir! Calm down! NURSE!"
"WHERE'S ALFRED?"
An unseen sympathetic gaze.
"..so sorry sir... so, so sorry... The accident was just too much... The car rolled six times-"
Shock.
"...no...no..no..NO, NO, NONONONO! NO, NOT ALFRED! NO! HE CAN'T BE GONE! HE'S NOT D-DONE! HE'S THE HERO! HE CAN'T BE..."
He couldn't bring himself to say it.
Tears, streams of them, thickening the air with loss, and death.
It can't be true...
-
For days he had thought it was only a dream, and that someday he would wake up and everything would be normal.
But he never woke up, and the nightmare went on.
There was no other way to put it, he was blind, and Alfred was dead.
And it ripped a bloody hole in his heart.
That I'm loosing you...
-
Every day, every hour, every minute, Arthur felt the gaping hole where his heart used to be. Every day, hour, minute, he felt himself loosing the one person he loved.
Over and over and over again.
A never ending cycle.
It felt like a dream, but every tick of the clock was a reality, and that killed him inside.
The sun cannot fall from the sky...
-
It wasn't hard to describe his feelings, it was just hard finding the courage to voice them.
Since Alfred's death he had tried numerous times to speak about it, but every shot failed.
The words would just stick in his mouth.
He wanted to tell them it felt like the world had ended.
That everything that made him happy had abruptly died, had shriveled up and gone, and that he felt all alone in the world.
It felt like the moon had imploded, the stars had lost their wishing luster, and the sun had fallen from the sky.
But everybody knows that that's impossible.
Can you hear heaven cry? The tears of an angel...
-
Can you hear it?
He could hear it.
Every waking moment of every day, he could hear the tears, see the cries.
The heavens where weeping.
The angels where wailing and pulling their hair with grief.
The cherubs in their lofty clouds had stopped their cheerful melody to play a funeral march, and all of the world seemed to follow suit.
Just for him.
Just for Alfred.
Stop every clock...
-
Time seemed to go on forever to Arthur.
In fact, there was no such thing as time.
When the person you love dies, there is no need for something as simple as time.
After Alfred died, Arthur realized just how short a life is, and the hands on a clock are just ticking it away with no care.
And they go quite dreadfully fast.
The stars are in shock...
-
Arthur will always remember the funeral.
Though he couldn't see it, it was always fresh in his mind.
It was cold that day.
Snow drifted down from the sky, huge globs of fluff that settled on his shoulders and hair blanketing him in shivers.
He was told years later how beautiful that day had been, but it never lifted his spirits.
His only memories of that day are filled with a sense of loss and an unimaginable loneliness.
And he swallowed it like tea, letting it drown him from the inside, because it felt so much better then trying to fight it.
People had told him otherwise though, not that Arthur had listened.
They had told him that he was wrong to do this, 'Think of Alfred', they would say, 'He wouldn't want this of you.' 'He would want you to be happy with rest of your life, to not worry about him.' 'He wouldn't want to see you this way, so sad and depressed.' 'Tears don't suit you Arthur.' 'Alfred wouldn't want it...'
But what would they know?
How would they know what Alfred wanted?
Alfred was dead!
So Arthur ignored them, Arthur locked them out, Arthur crawled into himself and relished in the pain, Arthur held on to it, Arthur never forgot.
He remembered fighting back, rebelling against the enemy, he remember, 'So you've already forgot him? So he's gone now? So let's all just march around here and forget him! Alfred's dead, he's gone! So let's all forget him.'
He remembered their voices, he remembered imagining the look to match them, he remembered the scorn and the disappointment, 'You don't know what you're talking about Arthur.' 'You're horrible Arthur.' 'Fine Arthur!' 'We'll never forget him, you fool, we'll remember, but we won't do what you're doing.' 'We won't forget, we'll hold on, just not as tightly as you will, it will kill you Arthur.' 'Alfred wouldn't want it...'
And he just scoffed at them and curled further into himself.
The inside was safe, he told himself.
The inside was Alfred.
But the inside was dark too, without a star in the sky.
'They just disappeared, they feel the pain too, the stars are in shock, and the pain was too much for them to bare...'
-
The river won't run to the sea...
-
The sea was Alfred's favorite spot.
He had loved the sea.
Lately, Arthur would find himself there often.
He loved the feel of the sea spray on his face, and the salt drying his eyelashes into annoying clumps.
It reminded him of Alfred.
And every time he went, it brought tears to the Brit's unseeing eyes.
His heart ached with every crash of the waves, and at that precise moment he wished he could see again.
If just for that moment, to see what Alfred had loved the most.
But wishes had never come true for Arthur.
And that's not going to change, not in a million years.
Not now.
And most certainly not ever.
I won't let you fly...
-
Every night, the nightmares haunted him.
Every night his love would die right before his eyes, and there was nothing he could do about it.
And every night he would wake up in a cold sweat, tears in his eyes, and terror in his heart.
The dreams scarred him more then anything.
He saw it all in his dreams, the rain, the lights, the flash, the screams, the red hot metal, the pain, Alfred, the fear in his eyes, the darkness, the fire, it all fading away, Alfred disappearing, then, simply, nothing,
And every night it would be the same.
It felt like he was stuck on a broken record, and everyone around him was just too lazy to fix it.
'No...no...NO ALFRED!'
And he would cry.
Every night.
Always the same.
And every night, after every nightmare, he got down on his knees and prayed.
To God, the angels, Alfred, anyone who was listening.
He didn't want to let go.
He didn't want to loose Alfred, not yet, he couldn't do that.
He wouldn't allow it.
He wouldn't let him leave him.
He didn't want to be alone.
He wouldn't let him fly away...
I won't say goodbye..
-
'I won't, I'll never say goodbye. I'd miss you so much Alfred. Love, I think I'm going crazy. But it's all worth it. I just don't want to loose you! I love you so much! More then anything in the world! I don't want to be alone Alfred! Please, p-please, don't make me say goodbye love, please...please...'
-
I won't let you slip away from me...
-
And yet, as time past, Alfred slowly started to slip through his fingers.
Hold on, be strong...
-
Hey Artie,
If you're reading this, then it means I'm gone, in one way or another. I have to say I don't know why I'm writing this, maybe it was a hunch, I don't know. But I just had this feeling that you would need this. So here goes! Basically, all I have to say is to be strong Arthur. I know I'm going to die soon. Don't take it the wrong way, I've known for a while now, don't ask me how, it's hard to explain. Hey, I know how your probably reacting. You're probably really pissed at me right now. I didn't tell you cuz I didn't need to. I didn't want to worry you, love. So if you ever read this letter, be strong Arthur, hold on. Please don't wallow in despair, get up Arthur, get back on your feet. I don't want you like that, I want to always see you as the strong, lovely, beautiful person you are. I don't want you to be hurting, this isn't your fault Artie. It wasn't anybodies fault. It's called life, and it can be a bitch. Please remember me Arthur, but don't cling onto nothing, it's unhealthy, and bad for your skin. Haha! Okay, enough with the jokes, I'm sorry! :) I love you more then anything in the whole wide world Arthur, and I will always love you, even after death when we part.
Until we meet again, I love you Arthur,
Alfred F. Jones
-
Tears plastered the pale page, soaking the words and making the ink run.
Everyday hope will grow...
-
'Hey Artie! What do you wanna do with your life?'
'It's not 'wanna' it's 'want to', love. What about it?'
'I don't know, I'm just asking.'
'I've actually never really thought about that before...'
'Well I know what I wanna do, I want to make a difference in this world, Artie.'
'Mhmm? And how are you going to do that?'
'Every little piece at a time.'
'That would take almost forever, Alfred.'
'Doesn't mean it wouldn't happen.'
'But there's a very small chance of it actually happening, love.'
'Eh, hope grows everyday, Arthur.'
-
I'm here, don't you fear...
-
'H-Hey A-Arthur?'
'Hmm?'
'T-This movie's pretty scary, huh?'
'Mhmmm...'
'Hey a-are you asleep?'
'...yes.'
'K'...'
The movie flashed into the night, as the small blonde fell asleep in the safe arms of his lover.
'Don't worry Arthur, there's no need to fear, I'm here, I'll protect you...always.'
-
Little one, don't let go...
-
'Don't let go, Arthur...'
'I won't, why would I?'
'It's easier then remembering...'
'You understand right Alfred? You need to help me! Their trying to make me forget! Their saying it's for the best, that forgetting you is right! I don't want to forget!'
'But it's true, Arthur. You should listen...'
'But-!'
'But your scared...'
'N-No...'
'Yes. Then, let's let go together Arthur, don't worry, I'll be with you...'
'I-I don't...'
'Just let go Arthur...'
'B-But I'm scared Alfred, what if it doesn't work? W-What if the pain doesn't go away?'
'Trust me Arthur. It will make you feel better. I miss you Arthur. We can be together again. Please Arthur, fall with me...'
And Arthur closed his eyes, a look of determination crossing his features. A decision had been made.
'Wait for me in death Alfred?'
'Forever, love...'
And a line was drawn in blood on his wrist. Pain blossomed behind his eyelids, and the world faded away forever, from darkness to darkness, washed away in red flood.
Cover my eyes...
Cover my ears...
Tell me these words are a lie...
-
Thanks!