Please don't take this seriously. It was late at night and I couldn't get this scenario out of my head. Illogical? Yes. Improbable? Yes. Impossible? Apparently not. Anyway, Enjoy.


Garrus Vakarian has been many things during his time in the galaxy. Turian soldier, C-Sec officer, spectre candidate, even vigilante: They're all names he's gone by. If you asked his friends they'd call him a brilliant tactician, a crack-shot with a sniper rifle, and a loyal comrade. If you asked a citizen off the street they'd call him fearsome, brave, and possibly even dashing. But if you asked Garrus himself... well he might just have something different to tell you. He'd tell you that underneath all the bravado, scales, and sheer badassery that surrounded him was a lonely soul, one searching for the person who would help him wash away the pains of his past and comfort him in his troubles of the present.

You'd think someone like Garrus, someone who's explored the furthest reaches of the galaxy (and subsequently killed, maimed, and/or exploded whatever lived there) would have met his special someone, especially when people far less deserving (in his opinion) have found happiness. Alas, it seemed as though he would be alone forever, destined to a life of solitary ass-kicking, no one to share the joys of a perfect headshot with. A sad ending for such a deserving hero.

Ever the stoic warrior, Garrus had resigned himself to his fate, deciding that pissing off merc groups would be more entertaining then wallowing in self-pity. For a while it worked. He could drown his sorrow in the blood and circuitry of his foes, of which there were many. Still, even through the scope of a sniper rifle, something seemed off. Even when surrounded by a wall of unlawful corpses while bringing justice to the galaxy he still couldn't shake the fact that something was missing.

He still needed someonebeside him. Someone who cared. Little did Garrus know, that someone would soon be revealed to him. If Garrus had known that, than even the sight of Commander Shepard ducking into cover beside him wouldn't have left him surprised.


"I'll be doing some calibrations on those new weapons," Garrus had told him. Ever since I told him about that new thanix cannon he hasn't even left the room. Even calibrating those beasts wouldn't take six and a half hours, Shepard told himself. I wonder what he's really doing...


(In the main gun compartment)

"You know I'm glad to be back with Shepard, saving the galaxy and all that, but I'm a bit nervous. Cerberus made the ship, and the crew is all Cerberus as well, and you know their reputation when it comes to dealing with other , he was probably my first real friend, and probably one of the only people I could still consider a friend now."

(Gun is silent)

"Anyway, I really hope we can pick up some of the old crew. It'd be great to have Tali on the ship again."

(A slight whirring noise comes from the control panel)

"You picked up on that did you? Now don't go spreading it around, but I know they had a thing for each other on the old Normandy. The problem was, they were both completely oblivious to each other's feelings. Everyone else could tell, but no one wanted to mention it to them."

(Another whirring noise)

"We all figured that they'd pick up on it eventually. I couldn't have known that Shepard would... die... before they could tell each other."

(The console makes a few quiet beeps)

"I know, I know. It wasn't my fault. Still, after seeing the way Tali was after he died... it was heartbreaking.

(Another series of beeps, this time louder)

"Do you honestly think it would have helped her to know he loved her after he died? It was better this way."

(A mixture of whirs and beeps)

"Yeah, life gave him a second chance and I really hope it works out between them. I don't want to see either of them like that again. Although on a mission like this..."

(A sudden series of loud and erratic beeps cuts him off)

"We all knew the risks going in, but I guess your right. Think positive. If anyone can pull this off with zero casualties, it's Shepard."

(A quiet whir, barely audible)

"Yeah, you're right. All this talk of death is getting depressing. Hey, what do you say I bring a portable vid-player down here? We can watch 'Fleet and Flotilla.' I know you're not quarian, but the reviews say that it has a great depiction of cross-species relationships in general."

(More beeps)

"Great, I'll go get it now."

(One last series of whirs and beeps)

"Love you too."


"Oh, hey Garrus. I haven't seen you in a while."

"No time Shepard, I've got to find my personal vid player."

"Personal vid player? What exactly are you doing down there?" Shepard asked, perplexed. "You've been in that gun chamber for almost seven hours now."

"No time Shepard, I'll tell you later. I promised Thany a movie and she can be pretty impatient at times."

"Wait, Thany? Who's-"

"Oh," Garrus exclaimed, cutting Shepard off as he grabbed a device off a nearby shelf. "There it is. I'll talk to you later Shepard!" With that Garrus ran back down to his new home, leaving Shepard in a state of complete and other confusion, and some disturbing mental images of baby turians with large plasma cannons in place of their heads.


Garrus/Thanix Cannon romance for ME3? *shakes head* I don't even know what I'm thinking anymore.

Anyway, please review if you can and feel free to check out some of my other work.

~Toxic