Witness of love
"No, it's okay. I... I get it."
I couldn't bear to look at her. I felt my feet starting to move away, her eyes on me, but she was frozen. I got eight meters away around the corner hoping, praying for her to call after me, when I saw a black, really expansive car drive up the school ground.
Inside was a beautiful rock'n'roll girl with dark hair and red strains, who I recognized instantly as Ashley damn her Davies, the girl I was dreaming about every night... killing her.
I hid behind the yellow King-High sign. Just seeing her oh so tough face I felt anger filling me up again, but then it happened: she pulled for a halt and saw Spencer and her eyes lit up in a manner I had to blink, even though the rest of her face took on a playful smirk.
"Hey sexy!" I heard her say, "You're lookin' for a ride?"
I looked at Spencer, beautiful kind Spencer who I had pushed away - literally - who tried to look mock offended for a second, but she couldn't even manage that long before she averted her eyes, smiling big, a little blush creeping up her cheeks.
At the same time, Ashley's put on smirk vanished completely and she used the time Spencer wasn't looking at her to gaze at her in sheer adoration and astonishment, like she couldn't actually believe that girl was getting into her car.
I cramped my hand around the metal bars behind me.
Finally they were looking at each other, both smiling wide, both happy and a little awkward. But so unbelievably happy.
Spencer was right. Ashley Davies wasn't the white thrash bitch she thought her to be. At least not with her. She looked at Spencer in the same way she had looked at her in front of the club, before she spotted me; like she looked at an angel. It was that look that had let me explode in Chelsea's studio.
I watched them drive away hearing their laughter disappear and seeing how Spencer moved a little closer to Ashley, their arms brushing. You could practically see flowers and butterflies emerge from the car, before it disappeared.
So I knew Ashley wasn't a better person than me. In fact I had had it a lot harder than she. But for some reason Spencer loved her.
It felt unfair. Why would she love Ashley Davies and not me? It hurt. Somewhere in my head I made the decision to return to LA at some point. I knew I didn't love Spencer. But still it hurt so much, just for loosing the possibility of it. I had to get back at Ashley. I had to punish her somehow... but somehow, deep in my heart I knew that no matter what I was going to do, I would never be able to make the painfully bright sparks of love go away that exploded whenever Spencer and Ashley laid eyes on one another.
