It started as a normal day, the swing of the Keller ward forcing Dominic Copeland out of his lover's arms and into the rat race that they called the Christmas period. The plastic Christmas lights were emerald green, reflecting on silver bed pans and bed frame poles. A tacky decoration was not to Dominic's displeasure, but reminded him too much of his mad friend Zosia, and her crazy obsession with the season.

He took off from the on call room, much to Isaac's protest, and began to walk onto the ward, his smile large for the first time in a long time and his scrubs crumpled from a good time. He hadn't even reached the nurses station when a hat, shaped like a turkey, was flung his way, covering his newly styled curls and causing his smile to fall into a sarcastic smirk.

"Don't give me that look Dr Copeland!" Sacha Levy giggled straightening it out as he jingled his bells. "I'm making all staff wear silly hats, it's part of the festive spirit!" he chuckled, sporting an almost florescent Christmas jumper and a hat shaped like a Christmas tree.

Dom rolled his eyes, his love for the dad of Keller very much prominent as he strolled away. He breathed out a sigh of content as the tubby man made his way towards a patient, his hat quickly falling into a pan of vomit, leaving him with giggles from Essie and a smushed up face.

That was Keller ward, just the way Dom liked it.

"Ah I see you're a Christmas Turkey for the day." Dom was brought from his thoughts as Isaac pounced, his strong arms looping themselves around his berry scrubs, a light kiss slowly being pressed to his neck. "I think you got the better end of the deal…" He muttered as Dom turned around, suddenly smacking his hand to his mouth.

"I-Is that a Brussel sprout?" Dom began to snigger, throwing his head back in hysterics as Isaac rolled his eyes. The pair were a mess as they fooled about, Dom trying to bop the top of it with his finger. "Sacha Levy is amazing!" He giggled, pulling his boyfriend into a hug.

"Shut up you." Issac smirked, cupping Dom's face as he scrunched it between his fingers. "Together we'd make the perfect roast dinner!" He laughed, kissing his boyfriend's cheek as Dom pulled back. He was in a fit of hysterics again and Isaac couldn't help but blush with his boy's cuteness.

"How romantic!" Dom teased, tapping his lover on the chin. He took Isaac's hand twirling himself around in the nurse's station before suddenly coming to a dead halt as he banged into a tall and quite scary figure.

"How romantic indeed Dr Copeland." Hanssen was stood behind the pair, his own laughter stunted by a serous gaze and the large file stuck between his fingers. "when you two have stopped frolicking on my ward I have a task for Dr Copeland here." He handed the file into Dom's hands and smiled approvingly at the pair as their grip became dethatched, their turkey hats falling off and their facial expressions once again professional.

"Of course Mr Hanssen, dare I ask what it is?" Dom was confused as he stood with a pile of roughly written files, even more confused when he opened it to reveal a picture of his dead best friend sticking out of the papers. "What the?"

"let me explain." Mr Hanssen smiled down at the doctor, the one who was currently finding it hard to look at his friend's smile, and his goofy glasses hanging on his nose. He wanted to tear up, but he had done well in suppressing that emotion since June.

"We have a 20-year-old patient that has just been admitted, someone with end stage Hodgkin's lymphoma." Henrik sighed, his hand falling onto Dom's shoulder. "She is very nervous and will not open up to anyone, not even enough to explain her symptoms." He watched as Dom nodded, a bewildered daze on his face as he came to terms with what he was asking. "it is seriously compromising her treatment and as you had such a personal relationship with Arthur throughout his last months, I believe you'd be best to talk to her and possibly get her to calm down." He smiled at the young doctor, tapping his hand against the desk as Dom took a breath.

"Mr Hanssen, I'm not sure I'm the right person for this I-"

"It's your call Dr Copeland, but you remember how nervous Dr Digby was when he got his diagnosis, I believed you handled that very well." Mr Hanssen gave him a final nod of the head before walking slowly down the corridor. His hands swung behind his back, his head hanging low. All it did was bring back memories of Arthur for Dom, he almost felt bad for the girl he had never met.

"Mr Hanssen?" He called out, much to Isaac's surprise as his boyfriend flew forward. Henrik didn't turn round, still peacefully walking to the doors of Keller, before calling exactly what Dominic needed to hear.

"Room 243 Dr Copeland." He said, before exiting in true Mr Hanssen style, swift but boldly, letting the doors smash behind him.

"Room 243." Dom whispered to himself, slowly taking the file. He pulled out the picture of Arthur, a laminated card which pictured him in his berry scrubs. "This is for you." He breathed, before tucking it into his pocket with a pat. "you and your goofy glasses better help me out." He said.

{-}

Dom stood outside the room, his head engrossed in the girls file, and his clammy hand sitting on the door handle. He was trying to convince himself that this was just another patient, just another person with a problem he couldn't fix. He'd had loads of patients die on him, surely this wouldn't be any different.

But it was.

It felt like he was going to be talking to Arthur all over again, seeing someone's face fall as they realised their time on this earth was going to come to an end. He didn't want to open the box that had been closed for months, let out emotions he had been so good at hiding.

He wanted to forget about Arthur, was that so bad?

"Hello, I'm Doctor Copeland." He put on a smile as he entered the private room. He wasn't sure where to look as the girl had her back facing him, her gaze set on the large bay window at the bottom of Keller. All Dom could see was her dark brown locks and a nebulizer attached to a machine. When she didn't acknowledge his appearance, he felt awkward, an emotion he rarely had. "You can call me Dom if you'd like." He smiled, slowly walking round the room.

"What do you want Dr Copeland?" She said sassily, burying her head further inti the pillow. "you can try and take blood from me, but you'll have to sedate me first." She laughed sarcastically before coughing into her oxygen mask, causing Dom to rush to her side.

"I just want to help you Melanie." He muttered, taking a seat on the end of her bed. "I know how horrible it is for you, but we need to do some tests on you, to see how advanced you are." He smiled, trying to take her hand.

"you're even worse than that posh fella." She rolled her eyes, turning over once again so her eyesight was averted. "I've said countless times that I don't want treatment, so why don't you shove off back to mopping sick and leave me to die already." Dom could hear the pain in her voice and gulped back his own tension, but stood strong as she carried on.

"life isn't worth anything to me, I've been destined to die young since I was 5 years old and I fist contracted this thing. You don't know how I feel, so don't start talking medicine to me when you know that I'm going to pop my clogs in a matter of weeks."

"My friend Arthur, he died of cancer, I know how bad it can make you feel." He replied sadly, looking at the laminated blue floor. "it's crushing, it really is, but my friend still fought as hard as he could just like you should be. Life was precious to him; he was happy so he tried to stay alive." Dom gulped back the lump in his throat, smiling through watery eyes as the girl sat up to look at him.
Had he gotten through to her?

"Your friend was stupid then." She laughed dryly. "All that fighting ended up as a box in the ground. I bet he is real happy with life now as he's eaten by worms." She shrugged her shoulders, her emotionless face staring Dom in the eyes as he began to whimper. "I think I'll pass on the treatment thank you, I'd be quite happy with seeing darkness very soon."

Dom felt speechless, he felt his stomach sink, he felt angry, so angry.

"Well maybe a selfish brat like you should have died instead of him if you want to so badly. Screw the treatment if you don't want it, but don't call me in two hours when the pain is too much to bare!" Dom stormed out of the room, his face red, his eyes wide.

The door slammed shut, the file was thrown on the floor. Dom had never run so fast in his life.

{-}

In his blind rage he found himself in the peace garden ironically, storming across the grass in pure fury. His best friend died and he was left with a patient who had no desire to live.

IT WASN'T FAIR!

He couldn't comprehend it; he wouldn't comprehend it! He couldn't think of Arthur not being there, he couldn't think of him beneath dirt, in blackness, in a world where only he was present.

He began to whimper, taking a seat on the wooden bench, staring up at the slightly crooked plaque hung on the tree. He took a laboured breath and scrunched his face, sniffling into his berry scrubs in the cold December air. He felt the photo in his front pocket, rubbing against his chest, his heart. He took it out, once again staring at his friend's goofy glasses, the ones they had buried with him so he could use him in heaven.

"Heavens not real Arthur, we both knew that." He whispered in distress, pulling the photo to his chest. "you're not here to talk to, you're nowhere! You don't even exist and yet I'm talking to this piece of paper, almost hoping you'll say something back." His tears fell on the picture, and he chucked it to the floor, burying his head in his clammy hands.

"Why did you have to die?" he questioned, looking up at the grey sky and the clouds leading up to nothing. "W-Why c-couldn't i-it have b-been m-me?" he sobbed, shaking his head with fury.

"IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!" He bellowed into the winter air, the force causing him to stand and scrunch his fists. "It should have been me." He repeated, before collapsing to the floor, his legs giving way with the emotion.

"DOMINIC COPELAND STOP WHAT YOUR'E DOING RIGHT NOW!" His eyes widened, his heart stopped, and his bum stayed glued heavily to the edge of the pavement, his breathing rapidly increasing as He froze still.

He knew that voice, and It was certainly not Issac's. The sweet melodic rhythm, the way it cracked slightly as it pleaded him to stop. The way it said his name, with such force, that he could no longer feel his heart beating.

Arthur.

It couldn't be, it wasn't physically possible.

"I-is it r-really you?" He mumbled, slowly turning on his heal to face him.

There he was, his body very much real as he leaned against his bench plaque. He was no longer deathly pale, his face no longer hiding under the vast amount of breathing equipment. His eyes were no longer a dull shade of grey, but bright and vibrant like the morning sun, his love and care written all over his expression.

He was smiling, standing, talking.

His Arthur was back. His beautiful, wonderful Diggers.

"C'mere you." He saw his arms begin to outstretch, taking his small now shaking body into his touch. "Let's take a walk."

"I don't get it. How are you here?" He asked, as they began to walk through the garden. He wanted to do no more than stay in his arms forever. Instead He settled for holding his hand, squeezing his soft fingers as tight as he could. He could feel himself crying, he could feel himself panicking, he could FeelArthur.

But he didn't question it, he wanted to enjoy the moment.

"I'm here for you." Arthur only smiled sadly, taking a tight and very real grip of Dom's hand. "I'll always be here for you."