A/N – this is for the Detention Competition by WizardWay. I was given Pansy Parkinson as my character and disruptive behaviour as my prompt. Anyhow, enjoy…

You sigh, watching Draco in the corner, his caressing Daphne. He was yours just a week ago – and now, you're single. Urgh. You, Pansy Parkinson, single. What could be worse?

You need a boyfriend immediately – but who are you supposed to try and seduce now? Blaise is still hung up on that blood traitor Gryffindor, Theo is dating that idiot Tracey, Draco is fucking Daphne every night – and, of course, Crabbe and Goyle are still nowhere near good enough for you.

No one from Gryffindor will do, though you're sure it would be easy to get into someone like Longbottom's pants. He'd give in easily – he's probably still a virgin, an idiot like him. You're not that desperate, though, and you're not desperate enough for a Hufflepuff either. A Ravenclaw would do… except that all of them are ugly, and all of them are more interested in books than they are in you.

You sigh, scanning the Potions classroom you're now in with those bloody Gryffindors. You blush slightly when Snape asks you a question and you don't know the answer – of course you don't, you're paying more attention to boys than Potions – and that's when an idea comes to you.

"Sorry, sir," you say, emphasising sir and giving him that look. He blinks, looking slightly confused, but then continues with the lesson.

This is brilliant. Not only will you get to fuck an older man – something you've always wanted to do – but this is going to make you so much cooler. You're going to be fighting off the Ravenclaws by the time you're done with this.

You smirk to yourself and stand up, subtly hitching your skirt up an inch or so. Snape glances up at you, just by chance – but then he doesn't look away, and you don't look away, either. You continue to give him that look and walk up to his desk.

"Sorry, sir," you say again, this time in a loud whisper. The rest of the class are supposedly working, but you've brought your work book up to the front of the class. "I don't understand at all," you tell him, your voice soft. "Could you maybe help me?"

He sighs, and you think you see a hint of a blush playing on his face. "Go and sit down, Miss Parkinson," he says dully, and, trying to hide your offence, you begin to do so. Then you think of something – a slight smile on your face, you drop your book, sigh loudly and bend down to pick it up.

Snape makes no response, and the only sound in the classroom you hear is a slight whimper from somewhere to your left. Disappointed, you go and sit down – but you've only been sitting for a second when a shout of laughter comes from the Ravenclaw side of the class.

You look over with the rest of the students, as Snape slams down his book and glares at Michael Corner, who made the noise. "What is so funny, Mr Corner?" he demands, and Michael tries to swallow the hilarity.

"Sorry, Professor," he says, still holding back giggles, but Snape isn't satisfied.

"I asked you a question, Mr Corner," he says dangerously, and giving an apologetic look to Terry Boot beside him, Michael Corner looks back at Snape and answers.

"Terry's… aroused, sir," he says, stifling laughter again, and the rest of joins in as well, you included.

Snape grits his teeth, yelling for silence. "Go and deal with that, Mr Boot," he says irritably, and Terry Boot bolts out of the room, red faced and miserable.

Snape turns to you next, and you try to look innocent. "As for you, Miss Parkinson," he says, even more dangerously. "Detention, tonight, for causing that disruption."

You try to look ashamed, but you're sure you fail miserably, even as the class continues to chuckle to themselves at the whole situation. You may not have had sex with Snape, but at least you've basically got a new boyfriend.

You shrug internally. Terry Boot. You're alright with that.

A/N – So, that was a lot weirder than I had intended… anyway.