Super Smash Bros: Brawly Melee

Author's Note: Author Two says "Wow, it's been a long time, Author one. We haven't written one of these stories in a long time." Author one responds "Yeah, I know dude." Author two says "You know what we need to do?" Author one says "What?" Author two says" We need to pour our hearts and souls out. We need to write a story with more humor, character, and perversion than any story yet! My friend, tonight, we are going to write...

Super Smash Bros: Brawly Melee

Luigi was busy doing something stupid as usual. This time he was drinking a white sunshine smoothie outside. Today he added some brownies that he found on the ground. He savored the delicious creamy taste and the strangely flavored fudgie goodness of the ground brownies. Suddenly something occurred to Luigi. He sniffed the air, and suddenly let go of the glass, which fell to the ground and shattered, drowning the ants with the glimmering white joy of his drink.

"I sense a disturbance in the force..." he muttered to himself. Suddenly, he jolted into the forest as fast as his little legs could run. He came to a clearing and stood straight as a soldier and gave a salute up towards the sky. Then he spread his arms our and set his feet shoulder length apart.

"MAAAAARIOOOOO!" he shouted up to the high heavens.

A streak suddenly appeared in the sky. And this streak was Mario. Mario was plummeting towards the earth like a meteor. The look on his face was stern and determined. He was getting closer to Luigi. Within a minute he went from a streak in the sky barely visible from the ground to a flaming ball of energy growing ever closer. Luigi came into Mario's view. Luigi was standing still, his arms still outstretched, and his face intense, as if he was still screaming.

"No, Luigi!" Mario shouted, "Get out of the way!"

Luigi heard him, but did not budge. There was nothing Mario could do. Impact was imminent. And so Mario crashed full force directly into Luigi. They started bouncing, causing dirt to fly up each time they hit the ground. Finally they stopped bouncing and found themselves in a crater. They lay there side to side, opposite one another.

"Damn it, Luigi," Mario said, "You do this every time I go on a space mission!"

"Mario, I had so much fun this week! Oh, you won't believe all the things I did!"

"Luigi, I don't want to hear about it right now!"

"Okay, Mario, I'll save it for some other time."

"Oh..." Mario was shocked that Luigi actually listened to him. "So, did anything important happen while I was on my mission?"

"Well, the Princess wants to see you."

"Really? The Princess wants to see me?!" Mario said excitedly. "Luigi, I'm going to the castle! Don't screw anything up!"

And so Mario ran to the castle, extremely excited to see Peach. He opened the door and she was standing there waiting for him.

"Mario!" She exclaimed, "I missed you soooo much!"

"I missed you too, Princess Peach!"

"Come over here and hug me!"

"Oh boy!" Mario said. He ran up to hug her, but just as they were about to embrace Peach got sucked up by a worm hole!

"...What?" Mario was very confused. "...but... she was right there... she was..." Mario realized what this must mean. "Bowser!"

And so Mario ran over to Bowser's castle. He knocked on the door and yelled "Bowser! I've come for the Princess!"

"What?" Bowser yelled from the other side, "I don't have the Princess! I'm taking a bubble bath!"

"I don't believe you! Open up!"

"Fine! Let me get dressed, and I'll show you my whole castle! And you won't see any princesses here!"

"But you never wear clothes anyway!"

"…Shut up!" Bowser opened the door, still dripping with bubbles, and showed Mario around his house like he was giving a tour.

"…and this is my dungeon… this is my secret fetish room that I installed after I read Fifty Shades of Gray… and finally, here is my throne room."

"So, Peach really isn't here…" Mario pondered, "Where could she be?"

"I don't know, but she's not here! So if you could kindly—" Suddenly, a wormhole opened up and Bowser was sucked up too!

"Damn!" said Mario, "I guess I better go ask around to find some leads. This is weird!"

And so Mario ran into Yoshi, hoping for some answers.

"Ugh… hi Yoshi." He said.

"Yoshi!" responded Yoshi.

"Do you know where the Princess might be?"

"Yoshi! Yo—" then Yoshi too, was sucked into a wormhole.

"I hate to do this…" Mario sighed, "But there's only one person left to ask."

And so Mario made his way back to his house. He saw Luigi, still hanging outside, now with his mouth on the ground, licking up what was left of his smoothie. He got up as Mario approached and spit out the dirt and ants from his mouth.

"Hey Luigi…" Mario said.

"Hey Mario!" said Luigi, "Are you here to listen to what I did this week?"

"No Luigi… listen, do you have any idea what's going on here?"

"Well, we did get this letter a few days ago, but I forgot to give it to you…" Luigi got out a letter and prepared to hand it to Mario, but then the wormhole claimed another. The letter fell right into Mario's hand. Mario read it out loud.

"Let's see… 'you have been invited to compete in the great tournament, Super Smash Bros. Brawly Melee'… Brawly Melee? What kind of stupid name is—" Then Mario himself was sucked up by the wormhole, which had just claimed its very last competitor from the Mushroom Kingdom.

To Be Continued?

Author's Note:

Holy crap, we really have been gone a long time, eh? Well even though we haven't been submitting, we HAVE been coming up with ideas, and even writing some of it down! And even though we probably lost all our fans (and hopefully most of the people that hated us) we see this as a chance to gain new viewers and just entertain and make people laugh. This is a story that I wanted to have 100% done before I started submitting it, but we figured you guys deserve a taste of things to come. And as always PLEAAAASEEE review and leave your comments; we simply crave your feedback and we want enough of it to bathe in!