A/N: This is my first lemon, so I'm sorry if it sucks. I'm still trying to get a feel for writing fan fiction. However, I think this is set with an older, more mature Elfman, and we know how protective he can be. Evergreen is suffering from PPD here, which is more likely with difficult pregnancies and deliveries. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail. Also, this fic was inspired by Better Man by Pearl Jam, hence the title.

Evergreen sighed as she placed the small stuffed fairy plush in her angel's crib. This was the fifth time she had been up that night and she was exhausted. Her normally flawless face was showing signs of wrinkles and deep circles were under her eyes. She left the room, closing the door quietly and walked down the hall to her empty bed. Elfman was out on yet another mission. She knew they needed the money, but he hadn't been back since their daughter's birth six months ago. She looked at the clock and saw it was four in the morning. She groaned and crawled back into bed. Suddenly she heard a click downstairs and the unmistakable thuds of boots being dropped on the floor. She rolled over and shut her eyes as the bedroom door opened. She knew she should greet him and be happy he was there, after all they had been through together, but she was tired and just wanted sleep.

Elfman looked over at his fairy queen, sleeping, with her back to him. He smiled and sighed, crawling into bed next to her and placing a kiss on her shoulder. He missed her dearly, but her letters to him had been distant these past few months and he was worried. He watched her sleeping form, when he heard a cry coming from down the hall and a groan next to him. "Don't worry Ever, I'll go." He got up and left the room. As he reached the nursery, he hesitated- he hadn't seen his daughter in months, what if she didn't recognize him. He felt his heart clench at the regret. If the job hadn't paid so well, he never would have taken it, but this allowed him to take a month off to be with them. They had worked so hard to be a family.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Strauss, but I'm afraid you have polycystic ovarian syndrome," the healer said, looking over at the young woman lying on the bed, holding her partner's hand, "there are medicines we can try, but there is no guarantee you will ever be able to become pregnant. In addition, you have cervical insufficiency, which if you do conceive, will make it difficult to carry to term."

Elfman looked at the healer, tears forming in his eyes as he squeezed Evergreen's small hand. Evergreen sat up and buried her face in Elfman's broad chest, sobbing, "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry…" over and over. Elfman held her, stroking her hair, not able to say anything. He loved her and knew that she wanted to give him a family more than anything.

Finally after a few minutes had passed, he looked down at his love, "What do you want to do, Ever?" His voice was soft and he tried to let her know in that question that whatever she chose, he would support her. After a few more moments passed, she looked over at the healer and said, "How soon can I start?"

Elfman opened the door, walking over to the crib, he saw his beautiful angel. Her blue eyes blinked up at him and she immediately stopped crying as he picked her up. She already had quite a bit of hair, golden like Evergreen's. He walked over and lowered himself into the rocker, slowly rocking while he began to tell her of his adventure.

Evergreen listened through the lacrima as Elfman told his daughter of his most recent mission. Despite her exhaustion, she couldn't sleep. She knew she had married a loving man, a great husband who did what was best for his family. But she couldn't feel anything anymore. She pulled the covers up over her head and quietly began to sob. She sobbed until the sun began to peek through the window of the bedroom. She felt so empty inside. She couldn't even remember the last time she felt complete. Slowly, she got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. She washed her face of the tears and began applying her makeup and pulling her hair back. The least she could do was make herself beautiful for him. It had been her fault that he had to return to work so quickly after she gave birth. Her medical bills had not been cheap. Between the infertility medicine and the complications of her pregnancy, she hadn't worked in over a year now.

"I am pleased to inform you Mrs. Strauss that the treatments have worked, however I caution you that with your line of work, combined with your medical history, that unless you stay in bed, you will not carry to term," the healer looked stern, "Therefore I am mandating a leave of absence until you deliver. In addition, you will begin to see me biweekly so I can monitor you."

"It will be fine, Ever," Elfman answered immediately as he saw her about to protest, "I can just take more missions, or higher paying ones."

"Ones that will be more dangerous!" She shouted, frustrated, turning to the healer, "Isn't there anything I can do?"

The healer softened, "I'm sorry, I can perform a new procedure that will close the cervix through the pregnancy, but I can't guarantee that it will be able to endure, especially in a wizard's line of work."

Evergreen groaned in frustration, but knew she had no options. Silently, she nodded and they scheduled the surgery.

Evergreen walked to the nursery and peered in. Elfman's chest rose and fell slowly, while their daughter lay on his chest, protectively wrapped in his arms. Silently closing the door she went downstairs to prepare breakfast.

"Ever, I've missed your cooking," Elfman stated, "You cooking is for a Man!" Evergreen rolled her eyes, but smiled weakly. He continued, "I will be able to take a month off this time, spend some real time with you and Jolene." He grinned, "I do have to head to the guild first, turn in my report, you should come with. The Raijinshu would probably like to see you."

'I don't deserve to see them,' Evergreen thought. Sensing her hesitation, he added, "And I'd like to show off Jolene." Finally, she nodded her head. She hadn't been to the guild in months, and knew that the Raijinshu missed her terribly. Freed and Bickslow had come by countless times, knocking on the door, but she never answered, not wanting to face the people she had abandoned.

Elfman looked over at Jolene, who was quietly playing on the floor. He knew something was wrong. Mirajane had written to him while he was gone, expressing her concern that Evergreen hadn't been in the guild hall and she rarely saw her in town. He sighed, looking over at his wife, wishing he had come home sooner. He knew her condition was delicate, but he hadn't realized how much she had changed this past year. She was thinner now, and under the makeup, which he never saw her without, he could see the hint of dark circles under the eyes. Her eyes looked weakened from crying and he noticed that she hadn't looked him in the eyes since he had gotten home.

Jolene fell over and began crying. To his surprise, so did Evergreen, she just stared at the crying child, tears streaming down her cheeks, her makeup streaking as her facade cracked. Elfman quickly stood up, picking up the child and comforting her, all the while, looking at his beautiful fairy, now sobbing uncontrollably into her hands. He put a hand onto her shoulder and gave it a squeeze before heading up and putting Jolene in her crib.

He came back down to see Evergreen washing dishes. He came up behind her and gave her a hug, wrapping his large arms around her waist and planting a kiss onto her neck. "If you don't want to go, I can go alone," his voice full of concern. She didn't stop washing dishes, but nodded. "Do you need anything while I am out?" He asked. She shook her head and he made his way out the door, "I love you, Ever." She nodded again, as he closed the front door softly behind him.

Evergreen breathed out a sigh as she finished the last dish. She felt tired, drained. She wanted to escape, run away. She missed going on missions. Now she was lucky if she could get out of the house to buy groceries. She touched her neck where Elfman had kissed her. Old memories came flooding back, warm feelings before she had found out how weak her body was. She decided to go upstairs and lay down, take advantage of the few minutes of silence.

When she woke up next, it was nightfall, she jolted up, panicking, she ran to the nursery, only to find it empty. Running downstairs, she saw Elfman sitting on the couch. "Where's Jolene?" She asked, her voice shaking with fear.

"Mira and Lisanna are taking her for the night," Elfman replied, looking at her, "You needed the sleep, and I wanted some time with my wife." He grabbed her wrist and pulled her onto his lap. His eyes looked into hers and she looked away. "What is wrong, Ever? Mira tells me you haven't been to the guild since Jolene was born and Freed says you won't answer the door. Please, Ever, what's going on?"

Evergreen felt tears well in her eyes again, and after minutes of silence, she whispered "I'm weak, Elfman…" The tears fell, streaking her face with heat and she began to tremble. "I don't feel anything anymore, I just go through the motions. I- I don't even know if I love you anymore." She sobbed uncontrollably, burying her face in her hands.

Elfman's heart stung at those words. Clearly the pregnancy had done more to Evergreen than he realized. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest, feeling her sobs as they wracked her body. He didn't know what to say. Perhaps taking such a long mission hadn't been the best choice, he only wanted to provide the best for his family, but maybe he had gone about it the wrong way. As her body quieted, he tilted her head up and planted a soft kiss on her lips. "You aren't weak. You have been through hell. I am not even a man, I left you when I should have stayed. When you needed me most. I thought financially supporting you was enough, but I realize now it wasn't. Please forgive me."

She looked up at him, his eyes pleading her and for the first time in over a year she felt her heart stir. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss. He stood, carrying her upstairs to their bedroom. He laid her on the bed and untied the sash of her robe. He took in the beauty of her body, her perfect breasts, her milky skin, her golden hair. She looked away.

"I look horrible," she muttered, her lip pouting a bit.

"No, you are beautiful, the perfect woman for a man," he reassured her. He kissed her again, then began running kisses down her jaw and neck, until he reached her perfect bosom.

He leaned in and inhaled deeply, taking in her spicy odor.

"I-I- can't take it anymore, I want you inside me," she panted. Elfman obliged. He felt like he was home.

"Ever, I'm so close," he breathed. She squeezed his arm in response, letting him know she was close too. They came together, and he rolled to the side, pulling her to his chest.

Evergreen felt like a spell had been broken as she lay on his chest, listening to his heartbeat slow. She smiled and tears slid down her face. Feeling the wetness on his chest, Elfman looked down to see her crying. "What's wrong?"

"I just feel like I have been lost for so long, but you being home made me realize that I have no where I'd rather be than here beside you. Please don't take any more long missions," she looked up at him, pleading with her eyes. He could never say no to those eyes.

"Alright, I love you Evergreen."

"I love you too, Elfman."

She really never would find a better man.

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