Author's Note: I do not own Pirates. I'm wishing I did, but I don't. Sorry mateys! Anyways, this is what happens when you cross an insane Language Arts teacher with a 7th grade band performing excerpts from Dead Man's Chest.
Trouble at the Band Concert
It was the night of the 7th grade spring band concert, and the black-haired, bespectacled band teacher, Mr. Petrossi, was preparing the band to play their various selections from Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. These selections would include "Hello Beastie", the "Jack Sparrow" theme, the "Davey Jones" theme, and "I've Got My Eye On You". As he stepped up onto the conductor's platform (made extra-high, 'cause he's so short), a figure burst through the crowd of parents and other spectators.
"Arrrgh, I'm looking for me chest, Mr. Petrossi!" the figure yelled as he ran through the crowd. It was Mr. Schilling, the crazy 7th grade Language Arts teacher, in a badly improvised Jack Sparrow costume.
"It's Jack Sparrow!" an excitable orchestra member cried.
"It's Captain Jack Sparrow, you idiot!" a chorus member corrected her.
Mr. Schilling ran up onto the stage, and repeated, "Arrrgh, I'm looking for me chest, Mr. Petrossi!"
"Well, it's certainly not here," Mr. Petrossi replied, undaunted.
"Well then," Mr. Schilling replied, pulling out a pair of plastic swords, "I guess I'll just have to kill you for it, then." Everyone had to admit he was in very good character. He'd make a good pirate.
"Get back!" Mr. Petrossi yelled, waving his baton at him. Mr. Schilling just laughed. Then, Mr. Petrossi pulled a silver-and-black tube out of his back pocket and stepped down off the platform, revealing a red plastic blade as he did so. It was a plastic lightsaber, straight out of Star Wars.
Then, all the lights in the auditorium went out, so the room was illuminated solely by the red glow of the plastic lightsaber. There was the sound of plastic on plastic as Mr. Petrossi and Mr. Schilling battled it out. Those in the band could just see a flash of red as Mr. Schilling ran offstage.
The lights came back on, and everyone in the audience gasped. Mr. Schilling was gone, and he'd left his hat behind!
What did everyone learn that night? Well, the few Star Wars fans that were there deemed the moral of the story as this: Star Wars technology beats Pirates of the Caribbean any day.
The Pirates fans, far more numerous, deemed the lesson this: Mr. Petrossi cheats in fights.
Author's Note: So? Liked it? Hated it? Please review!
