One day, I asked my muse if it would like me to write a romantic story. It immediately curled up and said, "EW." But, I tried my best anyway, and here are the results.

(Guilty pleasure inbound)

Enjoy ~


The heavy sound of her heels clicking against the wet cobblestone pathway was irritating. She couldn't stand the sound herself, but luckily there was no one to suffer through it with her. It was a dark and cold night, and Pauline was walking on the broken path that led to a bridge. The cobblestone bridge rested over a rushing river. Stones perked up from the rapids. Eventually, the sound of the water crashing against the stone drowned out the sound of Pauline's heels.

Engraved on the stones were pictures of mushrooms and fire flowers. They looked ancient from a distance, but up close, Pauline could tell that someone etched the pictures in the stones annually – the markings were fresh.

The arch of the bridge was slightly eroded and the stones were cold to the touch. Pauline could care less, though. She rested her bare elbows on the rim of the railing and her chin was cupped in her hands. The crescent moon was high in the sky. The stars twinkled sporadically. Water hit the other side of the bridge, sending droplets her way. They landed on her back, making goose bumps run up and down her arms and legs. It was a time like this that she wished she had brought a coat.

Ah, but what did a coat matter now? She had left her home at such an ungodly hour to finish something tonight. It was perfect timing, she had to admit. She had never seen such a beautiful night in so long. Shame that she had to spend it alone, but spending tonight of all nights alone was the better choice. Pauline thought back to the nights she had seen in Brooklyn. Truly, the nights were one in the same. Rarely were there ever any stars, she had never seen the moon in full view before, and no matter what time of day, the streets were bombarded by honking horns and flashing car lights. There was not a moment of silence; there was not a moment of peace. Now, however, there was silence – there was peace. It was all Pauline had ever wanted to see, and it was times like these that Pauline wanted to celebrate such peace with a bottle of champagne.

Pauline lifted her leg and grabbed her right heel. She pulled it off, sending her foot back down. She repeated the same routine for her left leg until her two black heels rested on the stone railing – the only thing between her and the river.

She grabbed the heels and studied them. They were worn and losing their sole; they had been through a lot, just like her.

"Screw these shoes," she whispered. Then she chucked the shoes into the river, watching them slowly tear apart in the crushing rapids. Pauline laughed. There was a sense of freedom that ran through her cold blood. She knew that sense would return in just a moment.

Her feet started to get cold on the wet stones. She hoisted herself up on the stone railing and sat facing towards the river. She was closer to the night now. It was so damn beautiful.

The craving for that bottle of champagne rose. Pauline may have wanted the bubbling drink more and more, but her thoughts rested on Mario.

Mushroom Castle was some 20 miles away from the river. There was no way she was going to see him tonight – or ever. He was happy now, with his princess. Princess Peach had her flaws, but Pauline was happy for him. She was genuinely happy for him. Hey, if he needed to move on, so be it. Princess Peach was probably doing a good job of running a kingdom while behind bars, anyway.

Pauline smirked.

A large wave of water hit the stone in front of her. She was soaked, but she laughed it off. Her dress was already ripped on the hue – what did a few good splashes matter?

Pauline placed her foot on the rim of the stone railing and started to stand. She steadied herself, placing her arms at her side.


The sound of rushing water started to echo through the woods. There was no full moon tonight, which meant more shadows and less slinking about to be done. Waluigi neared the rushing river with a gleam in his eye. Tonight was a good night, mostly because of tonight's heist. A jewelry store down the road was dumb enough to pass up the opportunity of installing silent alarms. Even if they had, it would be easy enough to corrupt them. Nonetheless, the store was bare now.

Putting the heist aside, tonight was also a good night because of how calm and cool it was. Granted, it was always calm at this time of night, but this night's scene was beautiful – only dimly illuminated by the light of the moon.

When the broken pathway leading to the bridge came into view, Waluigi saw a woman standing on the ledge of the bridge. Her arms were out and her long hair was swaying in the cold breeze. It took moments for Waluigi to identify who the woman was, and what she was doing.

"Goodbye, cruel world," Pauline whispered. Butterflies started to dance in her stomach. She started to lean forward, feeling the rushing water below her and the sound overpower her own heartbeat ringing in her ears.

But, what could have been a watery death was prevented by two hands reaching out and grabbing Pauline's waist, pulling her back. She fell along with the person behind her and they landed on the cold stone.

Pauline felt nothing and screamed when she hit the ground. Then she started to cry. Hot tears ran down the pale cheeks of a woman undergoing unfathomable pain. She pounded her fists on the stone beside her. She covered her face with her hands and shouted in a cracking voice:

"KILL ME! PLEASE, JUST KILL ME!"

After that, all she saw was darkness.


Light reflected off of something and hit Pauline. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking away the black spots in her vision. The light was reflecting off a diamond, but the light was not natural. Pauline looked around the room. There were no windows anywhere.

The room was wide and had separate piles of all kind of riches. There was jewelry, money, coins – just to name the few that Pauline saw. She had been sleeping on a hammock that was tied to two steel pipes. A blanket was tossed over her body.

"You're up."

Pauline's eyes darted from one corner of the room to the other, where Waluigi stood, leaning against the wall with his signature cap pulled down to cover his eyes.

She sat up. "What did you do to me?"

He perked his head up. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You damn well know what I'm talking about!" Pauline glared at him.

"You were going to die. I saved you."

"I didn't want to be saved. I never wanted to be saved again." She fell back into the hammock, making it rock to and fro.

Waluigi tipped the cap into its regular position and walked towards her. "What were you thinking back there?"

"That's just it, Waluigi. I wasn't thinking. I just . . . did."

"Yeah, well, did is going to get you places you don't want to be." He stood beside the hammock with his hands in his pockets.

"I knew what I was doing. You shouldn't have 'saved' me."

Waluigi wanted to say something, but he only sighed. He turned and headed towards the door. "Don't leave the room," he called behind him and left.


A day of total silence went by before Waluigi entered the room again. He walked in with his natural stride and stood beside the hammock. "Tell me what happened."

"And you care about this because . . .?"

"Forget the reason to me caring. Tell me why the hell you wanted to jump off a bridge."

Pauline crossed her arms over her chest and looked up at him. He was waiting – expecting. She looked away and her eyes landed on her bare toes. "I loved him."

Waluigi turned his head and started to pace back and forth. He muttered something under his breath, and Pauline heard it progressively get louder.

"Of course you do, of course you do, of course you do." He turned to her. "Of course you do!"

Pauline felt herself lean away from him.

"It's always been about him, hasn't it? How you just can't live without Mario by your damned side every single minute of every single day? Well, I would have let you drowned, but I didn't because I . . ."

His voice trailed and his angry stare lost its fiery glaze. Waluigi inhaled deeply. "Don't leave the room."

And he walked away, locking the door behind him.


When Pauline woke up the next morning, she saw an apple on the floor. It was ripe, looking elegant with its glossy, red skin. She threw the blanket to the floor and stood. The ground was cold and hard, but she didn't mind. Her hunger had seized control of her mind at last.

The door to what Pauline now considered a vault more than anything opened. Waluigi walked in, looking down and paying no attention to Pauline eating the apple like she hadn't eaten in years. She looked up and covered her mouth as she chewed.

"It was all I could get," he said softly. "The big guy isn't very generous, but I snuck that away."

Pauline dropped to her knees and continued eating. Waluigi sat down across from her.

Soon, the apple was nothing but a core. She held the core in her hands. "So, this is his warehouse? Not yours?"

"Yes."

"I'd expect you to break away from him."

"You'd expect a lot of things from me."

There was a pause. Pauline looked at him and their eyes met.

"Why did you keep me here?"

"You tried to jump off a bridge, and if I had let you go, you'd probably try again." He took his cap off and ran his fingers through his short, hazel hair. "If you want to leave so badly, you can." He jammed the cap back on his head. "Try not to get caught, though. He'll kill you and me both."

She rubbed her arm. "There had to be a better way to care for me than just trapping me down here."

Waluigi arched a brow. "If you want to leave so badly, you can."

"No, I'm just saying that –"

"You're just saying that you want to go home and sulk in the corner." He shot up. "You're just saying that I shouldn't have saved your life, all because you want Mario to pay attention to you again! I know exactly what you're saying, Pauline, because it's all you've been saying for years!"

She stood and walked over to him. "Waluigi, please. That's not what I meant."

He stepped back. "Of course it's not what you meant," he hissed. "You meant to say that Waluigi is the bad guy. He always is. Everything he does is just horrible! And do you know why everything he does is always wrong?"

She was quiet.

"Because Waluigi is a lying, cheating, scumbag who's chasing after a girl who's too blinded to even realize that . . ."

He trailed off again.

Pauline walked closer to him. She reached out to touch him, but he moved away. "Don't leave the room," he whispered.

He left again.


Pauline sat in the middle of the vault with her legs crossed. Too much was on her mind, and even thought she wanted to sleep, she found that she could not lie on the hammock and drift away.

The door opened slowly. She looked up from the floor. Waluigi walked in, closing the door quietly behind him. One of the light bulbs in the vault blew a fuse and the two flinched.

"You're going to leave tonight," Waluigi said finally. He turned to her and she stood.

"Waluigi, listen, I –"

"Save it," he snapped. "Just come with me."

Pauline walked over to him. She started to explain, but he hushed her constantly. They kept to the side of the warehouse, hidden from the corridor's lights.

Soon they were out of the warehouse and in the woods. There was no moon out tonight and the stars were all very far away. Pauline's feet were still bare, though the grass was comforting. She tried to keep close to Waluigi, but he kept his distance. She sighed.

"Is that really all true?"

He kept his eyes forward. "Is what all true?"

"What you said before."

"If you want it to be true, then it is."

The sound of rushing water could be heard in the distance. They kept walking.

"Before you said that you would have let me drown if I were anyone else. You said that I was oblivious to what you were doing. I'm not. Honest, I'm not."

Waluigi let out a grim chuckle.

"I just didn't want you to save me . . . you or anyone else, for that matter. I gave up."

"It doesn't matter now. You're going home and you can tell Mario all about how I kept you locked up in a dark room and fed you nothing but an apple. Then you can report me and have me locked away forever, because that's what everyone wants to do."

The neared the bridge. The sound of water crashing against smoothed rocks echoed through the woods. Pauline grabbed Waluigi's arm and turned him around.

"He wouldn't listen to me," she said, pulling him close.

They were only a short distance away from each other – kissing distance, Pauline called it. She let go of him, but they did not move.

"Thank you," she said softly.

Thank you were the two words that Waluigi had never heard. His shoulders relaxed and his anger slightly withered away.

Pauline walked on the broken pathway that led to the cobblestone bridge. Waluigi was behind her, but stopped walking and stood in silence. She reached the middle of the bridge before she turned around. He was standing there, looking at her, almost as if he wanted to say something. She wanted to say something, too, but they were both quiet. Pauline continued walking over the bridge. Waluigi turned and walked back to the warehouse. Both left with heavy hearts.


Here, the pick-it fence. It's the one-shot you asked for before.

I'm halfheartedly expecting all of the WaluigixRosalina fanbase to tackle me to the ground with this one.

I understand that this could have been made into its own story, but I wouldn't really know what to do with it if it were all spaced out into its own chapters and such. I'm better with one-shots because of how compressed everything is. As weird as it may sound, it's easier for me to get a lot more out there with a story with a range of 1,000 - 5,000 words than a 2,000 - 4,000 word chapter.
This one-shot was actually one of the darkest I've written, I think.

I'm still not really a huge fan of Waluigi. Even if I have a non-canon guilty pleasure pairing for him, I just don't think he's . . . well. I'm fine being one of the only - what, five? - few people in the world who are fans of Pauline.

So, why do I pair these two with a burning passion?
I dunno.

Actually, it's because of the mercy that both these characters beg for. The fact that Pauline isn't over her love of Mario and that Waluigi is the always bad guy in everything, I think, is really what make these two romantically compatible. Just their wanting to be looked differently in the eyes of the public (or that special one) is actually a really compelling plot line (to me, at least). Do I disagree with other Waluigi pairings? Yes, but I don't really smack them down for bringing the characters together. This shipping is just another thing to add to my list of guilty pleasures.

Criticism or not, all reviews are welcome!

- Great Mistake