AN: I haven't actually seen 5.03 yet, I only read a little about what happened, so I guess that this is set between 5.02 and 5.03. It is something I have been thinking about for a few days and I wanted to get it out of my system, I suppose.

Let me know what you think!

Kat


"Is it just us for lunch today?"

"Us and Simon Bricker."

"I forgot he was still here." This makes his bad mood even worse. He hates Simon Bricker with all his guts. The nerve of that man. Coming into his house and stealing the affections of his dog. And much, much worse than that, the affections of his wife. Nothing is going his way anymore. Tom has said that he will most likely move away and take Sybbie with him and Cora has obviously lost interest in their marriage.

"Robert, try to be a little nicer to him. He is our guest."

"Hm." That is all he can say without yelling at Cora. So he takes a deep breath before he asks "What does he still want here?" Of course that is obvious. He wants Cora and he is rather successful. She keeps smiling at and flirting with him in way she hasn't done with him in months.

"He is interested in our art."

"He is interested in my wife." Cora now sighs and gets up. He is sure she is going to leave the room. But she doesn't, she walks towards him and sits down on the armrest of the chair he is sitting in, something she hasn't done in months.

"Robert," she says in a slightly exasperated manner.

"It's true. It is you he is interested in and you are obviously interested in him too."

Cora sighs and says "Robert," again.

"Don't deny it. You flirt with him and you smile at him and look at the art with him all by yourself."

"Robert." If she says his name like that one more time, he will yell at her. But she does no such thing. Instead she puts one of her hands into his hair and begins to rake his head. He can't help but close his eyes at her touch. "Mr. Bricker may be interested in your wife, but it doesn't follow that your wife is interested in him."

"You surely create a different impression." But he says this a lot less accusingly than he wanted to or maybe was afraid he would because Cora's touch has a calming effect on him.

"I am sorry if it bothers you."

"Of course it bothers me. You are my wife. Not his. He'd do well to remember that." Cora now sighs again and he waits for her to say 'Robert' again but she doesn't.

"Sometimes you'd do well to remember it too," she says instead and he knows what she means.

"I am not in the mood for flirting." She now nudges him to turn a little which he does and she then begins to gently massage his shoulders.

"I know. You are not doing well."

"That is rubbish. I am doing," but he can't go on.

"It is not rubbish. You are struggling with the world." It painfully reminds him of something that Mary said to him shortly after Sybil's death.

"This is not the world I was born into anymore. My grandfather would have just told Simon Bricker to leave. No, he would not have let him into the house in the first place."

"Your grandfather would also have told your grandmother to stop massaging him like this and to sit down on the sofa. He also would have never slept in her bed." This makes him chuckle.

"I suppose you are right."

"I am. Not everything about this new world is bad."

"But a lot of things." He knows he sounds like a child, he knows he has acted like child for months now but he can't do anything about it.

"You could do something about that." It is always so easy for Cora. He envies her her ability to deal with change, to adapt to a changing word, to be excited about changes.

"How?"

"You could start by asking Tom to stay."

"We'd only fight." He tried to ask Tom to stay a few days ago, but the boy kept talking about wanting to be involved in change and not being able to do that while he still lived at Downton and about not belonging at Downton in any case. He told Tom then that he was disappointed in him, something he regretted as soon as the words had left his mouth but he could not take those words back. He is not good at taking things he said back.

"You wouldn't fight if you told him the whole reason you wanted him to stay. You should tell him that it is not just about Sybbie. You don't want Tom to leave either, you want him here." Sometimes he still can't believe how well Cora knows him.

"Yes. I do want him here."

"Tell him that."

"That won't help."

"Yes it will. It is what he needs to hear. He doesn't know where he belongs. But if you told him that you wanted him here, that you were proud of him, he'd know that he belonged here."

"That won't make him chuck that teacher." That's another thing he does not like. It is difficult for him to see Tom with that Ms. Bunting. Not because he thinks that Tom should not fall in love again. He thinks he should, it would be good for him, just as he thinks that it is good for Mary that she is at least about to give her heart away again, neither Tom nor Mary should be alone for the rest of their lives. But that radical of a teacher. Having dinner with them regularly. He just can't stomach the thought.

"No Robert, it won't. But if we want Tom to stay here, and I think we both want that, then we have to accept her. And she is an intelligent young woman."

"She is a radical."

"No. She only supports the Labour Party. And there is nothing wrong about that." He pushes Cora's hands of his shoulders now and turns to her.

"Isn't there? That government wants to destroy us. It wants to destroy our way of life." Cora looks at him with an expression full of pity.

"Robert, I think that our way of life is coming to its end. The world changes. And we must change with it. And the way to go would be to accept people like Tom and Ms. Bunting to guide us through the changes." It sounds so easy when she says it, but she still doesn't really understand.

"You still don't understand. You still don't understand what all this means to me." Somehow this disappoints him. He has tried to make her understand for over 34 years now, she says she loves him and does not want to doubt that, but she never really understood him.

"Darling," he closes his eyes when she says it. She hasn't said it for months and it is hard for him not to grab her, hold onto her and cry. Because that is what he thinks he is close to doing. Crying about all of this, about everything, about what this world, his life has come to. She puts both of her hands on his face now and he opens his eyes again and focuses on her. Her pale blue eyes, eyes that used to shine like diamonds when he looked at her, eyes that are full of worry and concern now.

"Maybe I don't understand and maybe I do. One of the reasons why I enjoy showing our art to Mr. Bricker is because it is part of our family history, of Downton tradition. And that is important to me and I am proud of it. It may not be in my blood, but it is in my heart. Believe that Robert, please. I do care about this life, I do care about Downton. And I want to hold onto it just as much as you do, but I think we can only do so if we allow more changes to happen." He doesn't know why, but his wife's words have humbled him, he has the feeling that she has put him in his place.

"Maybe you are right. Maybe I should adapt to change. The problem is that I think I can't. I am not good at dealing with change. If the world went according to me, everything would still be as it was around the turn of the century. Just with more cars, the telephone, the pictures and a wireless." Cora laughs out loud at this, then leans forward and gives him a kiss on the lips.

"And with our daughters still small little girls." She says this with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Yes. I miss that. Bringing them to bed. Reading to them. Taking them on walks." He sometimes wishes he could turn back time. Back to when his daughters still looked up to him, to when he was still their hero. From time to time he wonders if all of this wouldn't be easier for him if Cora had not lost their son, but he can't go down that road. Or if Sybil and Matthew hadn't died. He should have stayed with Cora when she took that bath, he thought about it, they had had such a good conversation just before it, but he left because he needed to write business letter. He should have allowed Dr. Clarkson to operate Sybil, he should not have allowed her to go back to Ireland after Edith' wedding gone wrong, he should have gone to the hospital to take Matthew home and not let the boy drive himself.

"It's not your fault Robert. None of it is your fault. None of it." He looks back into his wife's eyes and slowly nods. He cannot let guilt over things he cannot change wash over him.

"How did you know what I was thinking?"

"I've been married to you for 34 years. I know you very well. I know what you are thinking most of the time." He now puts his arms around her waist.

"I am sorry about that toast. For our anniversary."

"Don't be sorry about it. It was very sweet."

"The ending was horrible. I should have said 'the best wife in the world. I love you.'." That is what he wanted to say but he decided against it at the last moment.

"You are not good at talking about your feelings. Especially not in front of others."

"No. But you would have deserved it. Regardless of me being uncomfortable. The whole world should know how much I love you." Cora smiles at him and her eyes shine like diamonds again.

"I think many people do know that. You may not say it to the world, but you do show it to the world." In many ways that is true, he has had a million fights with his mother about kissing Cora in public or holding her hand at parties or dancing too closely with her.

"I haven't done that for some time. Otherwise Simon Bricker would not flirt with you that shamelessly." Cora laughs again, gives him another kiss on the lips and says

"I love you too. And you do have time to show him." She is of course right and he should start with that right now.

"I will," he says and pulls Cora towards him with such force that she slides of the armrest and onto his lap, something that entices her to keep kissing him.

"I am making you untidy," he mumbles against her kisses to which she replies "Good."

"Lady Grantham, I," he did not hear the door open and judging by the speed at which Cora's face turns red, she did not hear the door open either.

"Mr. Bricker," she says without moving. The man just stares at them and he knows he should urge Cora to get up but he enjoys this too much. That man has been trying to seduce his wife for weeks, he deserves to see them like this, the woman he lusted after sitting on her husband's lap, her hands around her husband's neck, her husband's hands around her waist. "I am sorry, but I am quite busy as you see." Bricker mumbles something about 'talking it over during lunch' and then leaves the room. Both Cora and he break into loud laughter as soon as the door has been closed.

"Well, he won't flirt with me again, I suppose," Cora says and smirks at him.

"You are an incorrigible, incredible woman."

"If you say so," she says and begins to undo his tie. But they can't go that far now, lunch will be in ten minutes.

"It would be better to save that for desert, don't you think?" he asks her. She pouts a little but only very playfully so and he knows that she agrees with him. He moves her in a way now that makes her get up and when she walks towards the door, he takes her hand and doesn't let go of it until they have sat down at the table where they are joined by a very disgruntled looking Simon Bricker.