Let's just call him the most ignorant bucket of piss I have ever had the displeasure to meet. Every day I am forced to interact with him, and it causes pain in my very soul. I cannot describe to you, using all of the words in the whole damn world, even in different languages, how much I hate this man. I cannot even stomach to call him a man. If anything, he is an annoying, stereotypical teenage boy who can't get a clue, can't get over himself, and couldn't get better than an F if he tried. That is, assuming that this boy even knows how to try. Yes, it seems an odd thing to say but it could not be truer. I still cannot think of a name to call him, as who knows, he could be reading this very blog, and it would be rude to just state his douche name to the entirety of the internet. Not that he's ever cared about being rude to me; he really is such a knob.
Just so you know, he is the type of typical teenager who runs around getting all of the girls with his stupid grin. He's, of course, the quarterback in that violent sport Americans claim is football when real football is far more dignified and much less idiotic and pointless. He fails all of his classes; he doesn't even try to be good at any of his subjects. Supposedly he wants to be an astronaut. Now what kind of dream is that? A rather stupid one if you ask me. He doesn't read in his free time, I wonder if he can even read at all.
Sure this all seems horribly rude of me, and you must all be wondering how horrible a person I am. Honestly I'm not. Sure, I can be rude and standoffish, but I'm nothing compared to him. He's convinced he's the best kid around the city, and that everyone should love and adore him. And they do. Everyone loves him and it's the most annoying thing I've ever seen in my life.
What's the worst part about all of this? You may be asking yourself. Why did you even bother to bring the subject up? What does it matter? Well, I'll tell you. This all started because of something I was assigned to do today. Something I could not even comprehend. Why had I been the one asked? Why not any of the other geniuses at our school? Certainly there must have been many more. I have far too many other things on my hands to worry about. But what was I supposed to say? No? I couldn't have said that, it would have come off rude and like I don't care about other people. Which really, I do, I care deeply for other people. Just not him. And yet here I am, typing this entry across the table from him. What do you mean? You're thinking, and I understand your confusion.
Yet here I am. I have been assigned tutor to the most insufferable prick you'll be glad to never meet and should be very happy that you have not met him. If you have met him, I pity you as I understand your pain. But now I've got it worse. Every afternoon from 2:30 to 5:00 I am the tutor of the worst human being I have ever had the misfortune to meet.
.
Arthur glanced up from his blog entry, raising an eyebrow at the idiot across from him who was obviously having trouble, but not wanting to ask for help. Groaning, Arthur submitted the blog, shut his laptop, and then moved his chair closer to his, well, his pupil's chair. He snatched the mechanical pencil from the other blond, going through and making little notes throughout his essay.
"Here, you've used the wrong 'your'", Arthur explained, crossing the mistake out and fixing it. Normally he wasn't this kind, and would just circle the mistake, leaving it for the other high school junior to figure it out. However, he was feeling especially kind today as the other boy had brought tea just for him as thanks for staying after school for so long even though he didn't need to.
"Thanks!" he announced, going back to writing diligently, or as diligently as he could do anything.
Arthur examined him in distaste, curling his nose. This boy had been the subject of his, mind you, very popular blog for the past three years. Of course, he wasn't the entire focus of it, Arthur wrote about his day-to-day life as an Englishman in America, and sometimes he posted little stories or poems, anything he could really think of. Sometimes it was crap, but sometimes he came up with something good. Recently, though, he just couldn't get over how much he hated this stupid American with his just-the-right-shade blond hair and his perfect blue eyes and those shining white teeth and that stupid grin that had all the girls dropping their pants.
Arthur just really hated Alfred F. Jones.
There was no justifying or explaining his hate, it was just something that was there from the moment he moved into the house right next to Alfred's. The overly excited American eleven-year-old had been far too excited to drag Arthur from the comfort of his room and his books and take him on "adventures" that always ended up with either of them coming home with something broken. Sometimes an arm, sometimes glasses, but either way Alfred always laughed and grinned about how much fun they had had, while Arthur moped about his Hogwarts letter being late because he moved to America.
However, that never happened. His supposedly misplaced Hogwarts letter never found its way to America, but Arthur tried to not let that get him down. What got him down was that he was stuck at school for an extra two and a half hours with the guy who was convinced they were the best of friends. Arthur wasn't sure that was how friendship worked; he had always thought friendship was when both parties enjoyed the other's company. Alfred, though, was a bit thicker than the average human being and couldn't read a mood if it were written in bright, sparkly letters.
.
Two hours later and Arthur was losing his mind. Sure, Alfred had been trying his hardest the whole time they were studying, and he had made some minor improvements, but that didn't mean it was any less torturous for Arthur. He couldn't even count the times he had been asked to help Alfred with some stupid English assignment or another.
Alfred hadn't even been able to analyze a simple poem. While Arthur tried not to chastise others for a lack of skill when it came to analyzing poetry, this had been ridiculous. Then, Alfred needed help memorizing a poem. Arthur couldn't understand how hard that could be, every damned day Alfred stood up completely straight, hand over his heart, preaching away his allegiance to the flag with the rest of the class.
"Typical American," the Brit growled, slamming his calculus book shut as 5:00 rolled around, the timer on his watch going off. "You can memorize some stupid pledge, yet not a word of Shakespeare."
"Hey!" Alfred said, standing up and frowning at the smaller male. "The Pledge of Allegiance means a lot to me, even if it seems weird to you."
"Why?" Arthur asked, raising an eyebrow and standing up as well, starting to pack his bag. "Are you going to betray America if you don't say it every damned morning?"
Alfred seemed taken aback by that, furrowing his eyebrows. "Well, no…" he muttered.
Arthur just nodded, turning on his heel and walking out of the library without a second glance behind him.
Frowning more, Alfred packed his own bag, not understanding what had happened between him and Arthur. They used to be such good friends, but for some reason that all changed when they got to high school. Was it because Arthur thought Alfred didn't have time for him anymore? That could be it, Arthur was prone to jealousy.
"Hey, Arthur!" he called, breaking into a light jog to catch up with the blond. "Would you want to hang out this weekend? The new Captain America just came out, it looks awesome! We could smuggle scones into the theatre like we used to when we were kids."
"Can't, Alfred," Arthur responded, quickening his stride and hoping that the American would get the hint that he didn't want to talk. To his dismay, Alfred very easily kept pace with him, what with his legs for days. Not that Arthur noticed such things about him. "I've got, um… to study for exams."
"I'll help you!" Alfred announced. "I mean, I know I wouldn't really be that much help, but everything always goes faster when there's two brains, right? And then we could go to the movie afterwards. Or just watch Netflix."
Arthur groaned, glancing at Alfred and frowning at him. "I would rather not, Alfred. I prefer to study on my own, but thank you for the offer."
"What about the movie, though? I don't mind if we go to like a midnight showing, it's always time for a Captain America movie."
"No, Alfred," Arthur snapped. "Not this weekend."
Finally, Alfred stopped walking with him, falling behind. Arthur didn't look back to see the heartbroken expression the other blond wore.
"Okay!" Alfred said, obviously trying to stay positive. "Maybe next weekend!"
Arthur didn't even spare him five seconds for a response, continuing on his way to the city bus stop.
.
The first thing Arthur did when he got home was open his laptop, instantly logging on and going to the internet. He still had a lot of homework to finish, but thirty minutes online couldn't do any harm. His message box was full, and he browsed through them for a few moments, answering ones that stood out to him.
What did he ever do to you?
Exist, that's what.
Does he realize how much of a douche he is?
Arthur laughed at that question; no one had ever asked him that before as far as he could remember. Finally, someone understood. Most of his messages consisted of people accusing him of being too harsh towards Alfred, and that he was making false accusations. Arthur could assure anyone, he was not making any sort of false accusations.
Unfortunately, no, he does not realize this. It makes every interaction with him worse than the one before.
The Englishman set aside his laptop, figuring he could work on homework and manage his blog at the same time, for the most part. Most of his attention was being dedicated to his homework, as he knew that he had to actually do it this time. He had been slacking far too often recently, and it had been causing some of his grades to lurk dangerously close to Cs. While his parents would have been fine with Cs, after all his brothers barely even passed at all, a C just would not cut it for Arthur Kirkland.
.
Around eleven, Arthur had finally finished everything, going over the two essays he'd written one last time before putting all of his assignments back into his bag. He grabbed his laptop, planning on just shutting it down, but pausing for a second as he saw that he had gotten a response from the same person as earlier.
Are you exaggerating that he expects everyone to love him? Because I can't stand it when people act like that, I just want to smack them and yell "NO ONE CARES" y'know?
Arthur grinned at the message, nodding in spite of himself. Yes, he did know what that feeling was like. In fact, every fucking day he wanted to just smack Alfred, and hope that the douche went flying out of him. However, that was highly unlikely, despite how much he wanted it to happen. Deciding the other party was offline; Arthur simply shut his laptop and set it aside. He changed into his very manly unicorn print pajamas, turned off the lights, and crawled into bed, closing his eyes.
.
Right at 2:30pm the next day, Alfred was waiting for him in the library. He already had his nose buried in the book he was reading, Heart of Darkness, sheets of questions about the chapter to his right, pencil at the ready in his hand. Arthur was impressed, for once, by the American, surprised he could get down to work so fast. He sat across from Alfred, as usual, and opened up his laptop. There were no messages he cared to respond to, so he pulled the school-given agenda out of his backpack, looking over the assignments he had written down.
Ten questions in calculus, another essay for English, and a worksheet for environmental sciences. Right away he finished the worksheet, glancing up afterwards and watching as Alfred began to write down answers on his own worksheet.
"Do you understand the book?" Arthur asked.
"Yeah!" Alfred said, as always, unable to keep his voice down, even in a library. He snickered as Arthur raised a magnificent eyebrow at him. "It's a pretty good book, too. I don't usually like the books we have to read in school."
Arthur could have sworn his eyes rolled out of his head and down the street. Without even bothering to listen to Alfred, he could hear the typical "classics are boring" or "we should read actually good books!" everyone always spouted against classical literature. In his opinion, there was nothing wrong with a classic, and they usually entailed much better writing than any recent novels. However, he did also enjoy more recent works too, just not as much.
"But of course, you're like a dinosaur, so you love books as old as you are."
"Excuse you?" Arthur snapped, his whole face turning red. "I am only three months older than you, Alfred! It's not even that big of a difference!" he hadn't even realized he had raised his own voice.
"Eugh," Alfred teased, wrinkling his nose at Arthur. "You even talk like an old person. Now, Arthur, it's okay if you don't know how your wifi works, just call me and I'll fix the problem. Lots of elderly don't understand what to do with wifi, it's a common thing."
"Alfred F. Jones!" Arthur hissed, narrowing his eyes at the other blond. "You will shut your yappy gob right this instant."
Alfred burst into raucous laughter, going so far as to slap his knees a couple of times. "The British in you is coming out the angrier you get!"
At this point, Arthur knew he had lost, so he pulled Dracula out of his backpack and began reading, though he wasn't really reading it. He just wanted to look like he was doing something so he wouldn't have to talk to Alfred anymore. Said American was still laughing, wiping tears from his eyes.
Eventually, quiet returned to the library, and Arthur actually began to read. For the remainder of the afternoon it stayed that way, both boys with their noses buried in books. Arthur had never seen Alfred look so focused. It was a rather amusing sight to behold, what with his tongue just barely poking out of the corner of his mouth, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. Occasionally he stopped reading to write down an answer to a question, but right after he went back to reading.
After a while, Alfred looked up at just the right time, and caught Arthur staring at him. Arthur blushed, trying to pass it off like nothing had really happened. Really though, his heart was beating out of control and he could feel his face burning.
"Falling in love with me, Arthur?" Alfred asked coyly, one eyebrow raised and a confident but lazy grin on his face.
Arthur huffed, crossing his arms and glowering at Alfred. "Nothing of the sort. You just had a stupid look on your face. Oh wait, that was your thinking face. I didn't know you were able to think."
Alfred just laughed it off, standing up as his watch beeped five times, letting both boys know they were free to go. Arthur could not have been happier. He packed his things hastily and rushed off towards the bus stop.
"Hey, Arty!" Alfred called. Arthur groaned. "How about I give you a ride home? I mean, you always take the bus home and it takes you forever to get home, doesn't it? It's already late enough as it is. We could be at your place in no time!"
Arthur wanted to decline, but he also really loved the idea of not having to be on the city bus. Sometimes, more like all of the time, there were odd people who smelled like they hadn't showered in weeks, or girls who talked far too loudly than necessary. Another added bonus was that his friend could offer a ride for free, whereas the bus cost money.
"Why not?" Arthur said, following after Alfred to the student parking lot behind their school.
Then he realized.
Had he really just thought of Alfred Jones as his friend?
No, that was preposterous. After all, he hated Alfred Jones. He had a whole blog practically dedicated to preaching about how much he hated Alfred Jones. There was no way that idiot would ever be his friend. And without a doubt there was absolutely not even a shred of a possibility that he was falling in love with such an insufferable idiot.
A/N: Although it seems sort of similar, this is not the same 'universe' as Eccentric Roommates, I will not be doing a UsUk fanfiction for that universe any time soon. I'm not even sure if I will have more than just this one fanfiction in a high school setting, I much prefer a college setting. The planned schedule so far (in terms of updates/new chapters), on a weekly basis, will be Eccentric Roommates on Thursdays, this on Fridays, and To Save You on Saturdays. Hopefully three different things all in a similar time span won't bother anyone… it's just easier for me to update on weekends.
