If I Would Could You?


1x2x1 romance.

Warnings: Drug references, language, sex.


He got of the taxi, tarrying at the curb as the car merged back into traffic. He shifted the weight of his briefcase in his hand, glancing upward, examining the upscale townhouse before him. The structure four stories high, a latticework of ivy adorning red bricks offset by windows with white shutters. Remaining still, he felt a chill in the air waxing from the night sky. Earth was painfully beautiful, yet he felt entirely unwelcome. He approached a tree just to the right of the stoop, withdrawing his cell phone from his jacket. The text message he sent simply read, "I am here."

He perceived the heavy wooden door swing open, turning his head towards the sound. Her heels clicked on the cement of the stairs. Her hand ran down railing in a delicate fashion, the other grasping her clutch purse. She had cropped her hair's length just below her chin, as he noticed this she tightened her large plush overcoat's collar around her neck.

"Heero, good to see you," she spoke a small smile evincing on her lips. He nodded and met her at the stoop, offering his angled arm. She maneuvered her hand around his arm, urging him to walk. As they ambled along the sidewalk, headlights and dim lamp posts gleamed. She leered at him momentarily, her glance sweeping downward. "You came from the colony and all you brought is that?"

Heero's grip on his briefcase tensed. "Relena," he said sternly. He paused, and then stated, "I am not staying long." He kept his vision directed ahead. She mustered a laugh, shaking her head.

Their walk was slow but steady, spanning the sidewalk. The European city was teeming with bakeries, and bistros. Bars had their doors open, cigarette smoke and laughter escaping on to the street. The couple was quiet, Relena leaned into him. Heero ceased his footfalls, and stood before the symphony hall, breaking the twine of their arms. An array of finely dressed citizens was before him, converging between the Grecian columns. She beckoned him, as she began to unfasten the large buttons of her coat. Heero unwittingly adjusted his tie as he followed her movement. An usher smiled warmly Relena as presented their tickets. Lush red carpets and gold wood work met them inside. Immersed in the clamor of conversation and drinks being poured in the entrance hall, Heero did not pay heed to Relena removing her over coat. As his attention refocused on her, Heero made motions to grab her coat. At the gesture she asked, "What do you want to drink?" Before he had time to answer, she jeered, "Will you live a little? I didn't know it was such an imposition to try to have fun?"

Heero furrowed his brow as she disappeared in the crowded foyer. He proceeded to check their items, and meander up the stairs. She found him sitting stiffly in their reserved balcony, whispers of the tuning assortment of instruments slowly abated. He had his eyes closed, almost looking to be relaxed but somehow failing. She urged a glass of wine in his hand, and he produced a soft humming noise. The chandeliers' lights lowered, and the curtain was swept back. Relena sipped her champagne, as the maestro and assistant conductors took stage. As the symphony echoed within the concert room, Relena gave Heero a sidelong glance. He seemed intent on the musicians, reclining slightly. She emitted a weak sigh as she crossed her arms, leaning slightly forward.

Hours later, he was sitting upon her couch, leaning over the coffee table, examining a photo of Relena's boyfriend. He was tall and had blonde hair, his face having a jovial quality. Relena spoke from the hallway, "You are more than welcome to stay in the guest room tonight." Heero nodded then began to loosen his tie. He stood slowly, and proceeded towards her. He gave a slight smile, and hugged her loosely his arms leaden. Heero aloofly proceeded down the hallway with his jacket and briefcase in hand. She stiffened, becoming frustrated as he closed the door behind him. Her body tarried momentarily, before following him.

"Heero-!" she called out, pushing the door open. He turned to face her, his shirt unbuttoned. Relena walked past him, and sat on the bed. "I need to talk to you," she stated ruefully. Heero hung his tie on the mirror centered over the dresser.

"What is it?" He said absently, removing his white dress shirt and immediately proceeding to fold it. He faced her nonchalantly. She hesitated and her expression fell. She laid back upon the bed, the feather down comforter sinking around her svelte frame. Heero's hands went to his waist, removing his belt.

"Why is it that I have to practically demand to see you? You seem so alone Heero. It saddens me. You are my dear friend; you know I care for you. -I'm positive the others want to see you as well. Why do you keep insisting upon cutting yourself off from them?" Relena initially mused, but her words became a breathless plea. She allowed her question to hang in the air. Heero sat beside her, unaffected as he removed his socks, balling them together, and tossing them upon the dresser. He proceeded to lie in bed, and nonchalantly got underneath the covers. Relena propped herself upon her elbow, staring at him. The strap of her dress slipped off her shoulder. Heero's sight fixed upon the ceiling, he closed his eyes. Relena sat up fully, fixated on him, waiting for a response. Minutes had past and the two remained posed.

"I cannot say why I refrain from sustaining relationships with people." He spoke concisely, his tone even. Relena lowered her head; slowly she positioned herself next to him. She cautiously pulled the blankets over his chest. Relena was sullen, pushing her head back upon the pillows.

She implored him, "You depress me. Will you make an attempt, for me? Please?"

Heero opened his eyes and focused on her, her posture imposing over him. "And how do you define living? Shall I get a hair cut and a boyfriend?" Heero remarked flatly. Relena glared at him, but her expression soon relaxed. She removed her body from the bed, and adjusted her shoulder strap. Her bare feet made soft taps on the hard wood floor. Her delicate hand flicked off the light, benighting the room. She stood under the doorframe, and chided earnestly, "You're impossible."

As she exited Heero voiced, "I will leave before morning." But silence was his reply.


Inky blackness dominated the portal window, as the shuttle finally crested the earth's atmosphere. His hand smoothed over his face as he dwelled on her words. He imprisoned his desires, he knew this as fact. He adored control and rigorously sought to maintain. Control and discipline were the crux of his being. But his war was over, this habit was futile. Heero had nothing to gain from the simplicity of solitude anymore. Suddenly, he was afraid. Heero allowed his posture to sink into the firm chair. His hands in his lap clutched the seatbelt. At that moment he decided to try.


Author's Note: Title inspired by the lyrics of Alice in Chains' Would?. Comments and criticisms welcomed and very much appreciated.