I do not own Psych or any of its characters. All other publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

I meant to have this done for St. Patrick's Day, but a stomach bug over the weekend left me with zero energy to get this finished. It also turned out longer than I was expecting it to. Not that I expect you guys will complain about that.

I broke the story into three parts and will post them several days apart. Exactly how long with depend on the number of reviews I get.

I also added a short bit to The Best Things for use in a future story, though it does not impact this one.

Happy Vernal Equinox!


"Today we celebrate Patrick, who taught the leprechauns how to make alcohol. He received much gold for his efforts and was named King of Ireland. It is in his honor that I drink this very tasty green beer today." Shawn held up his drink to his tablemates before taking a swallow.

"Actually, St. Patrick is celebrated as the man who brought Christianity to Ireland," Guster corrected. "Besides, everyone knows leprechauns aren't real."

"They are so real." Shawn turned to his boyfriend. "Lassie, weigh in on this. Leprechauns: real or just sprightly dressed little people?"

"I'm going to have to side with Guster on this one," Carlton said.

Shawn tsked disapprovingly. "Siding against the boyfriend? Bad move, Lassie. Someone's not getting any when we get home."

Carlton snorted, unimpressed by the threat. "Like you could hold out on sex." Shawn's hand slid along his thigh, the look he was giving Carlton confirming he was exactly right.

Guster made a face. "That was really more than I needed to hear."

"I think its cute the way they can't keep their hands off each other," O'Hara said. She leaned in and kissed Guster on the cheek. "They're not the only ones."

Shawn snickered as Guster blushed. Carlton did his best to banish all thoughts of his partner and his boyfriend's best friend groping each other out of his mind. He felt new sympathy for Guster, understanding better now why he reacted the way he did to Shawn's suggestive comments. Some things you just didn't want to know about those closest to you.

Shawn held up his beer, which was a sickening shade of green for the holiday. "To our friends and lovers; may they always be there beside us." He looked at Carlton as he said it, sparking a warm feeling in his chest. It was times like these, when Shawn said something heartfelt and serious, that he remembered why he loved him.

He raised his glass along with the others before downing the rest of his drink.

It was St. Patrick's Day and the four of them were on their first official double date. Sure, they had all had lunch together a few times since Guster and O'Hara started dating, but tonight felt different. O'Hara had dressed up, for one, as had Guster. Shawn had dressed as he normally did for their dates which Carlton was just realizing was a step above his normal attire.

Even he himself had made an effort, forgoing the suit, wearing jeans (because he knew Shawn liked when he wore them) and a pale green button up shirt. It was his one concession to the holiday; he refused to wear the 'Kiss Me, I'm Irish' shirt Shawn had tried to force on him, a match to the one his boyfriend was currently wearing.

They got another round, the alcohol helping them all to relax and loosen up. The awkwardness faded, replaced by the usual camaraderie the four of them enjoyed when they got together. It felt less like a date than two couples, two sets of friends, enjoying an evening together. Which, Carlton realized with a start, was exactly what it was.

O'Hara patted Guster on the shoulder. "Let me out. I need to use the ladies' room."

As Guster moved to let O'Hara out of the booth, Shawn stood up as well. "I'll join you."

"Shawn, what are you doing?" Guster asked.

"Women like to go to the bathroom in packs," Shawn explained. He waved a hand at Carlton and Guster. "I don't see either of you volunteering."

"That's because their not women. Neither are you, unless you and Carlton are hiding something from us?" She glanced speculatively at the two of them, eyes dancing in amusement.

"He's definitely not a woman," Carlton said dryly.

"Though judging by what me and Lassie did last night, you could say I'm 'the girl,'" Shawn said with a grin.

"Shawn!" Carlton and Guster exclaimed at the same time. They looked at each other in surprise while Shawn smirked.

"Come on Jules," Shawn said, grabbing O'Hara's arm. "The men need to talk." He gave Carlton a look before they walked away towards the bathrooms in the corner of the room, leaving Carlton and Guster alone.

"Is Shawn like that when he goes out with you?" Guster asked.

"Pretty much," Carlton said with a sigh. "He has been trying to behave more, at least when we're out in public." Too bad it wasn't until after they were banned from three restaurants in town, including one of Carlton's favorites.

"At least he's trying," Guster grumbled. "He never changed for me and I've been his friend forever."

Carlton took some comfort in that, though he had enough sense not to say it out loud. He didn't want to antagonize the man before he even got the first question out. "So, Guster, how are things going with you and O'Hara?"

"Good. Fine. Couldn't be better." Guster nodded with each short phrase, growing increasingly nervous. "Why, did she say something?"

"No." At the man's crestfallen look he amended his statement. "Nothing bad. She seems to enjoy spending time with you."

"OK, that's good. Right?" Guster asked uncertainly.

Carlton sighed. Guster was a decent guy, but he wished he had more of a backbone to him. "I just want to make sure you're treating her right. Juliet is a special woman; I don't want to see her hurt."

"I would never do that to her," Guster said indignantly. "Not that she would let me live if I ever did."

Carlton chuckled darkly. "She does know how to stand up for herself."

"You know that's right." Guster fiddled with one of the napkins on the table. "So how are things with you and Shawn."

"Good," he said simply.

"Good." Guster continued to play with the napkin. "I know Shawn's not the easiest person to get along with."

"I'm well aware of that," Carlton said dryly.

Guster glanced up at him and gave a small smile. "Yeah, you probably are." He cleared his throat, his face turning serious. "Shawn has never been with somebody this long before. And we both know he's not always the best at relationship stuff."

"What are you getting at Guster?" Carlton asked sharply.

Guster looked up at him, meeting his gaze steadily. "I don't want to see Shawn get hurt."

"I wouldn't do that to him," Carlton said, getting angry at the implication.

"Not intentionally. But Shawn's fallen for you hard." Guster glanced over towards the bathroom then leaned closer over the table. "You guys may be fine now, but being with Shawn won't always be easy. He's always going to get on your nerves, always going to test your patience. If you don't think you can put up with that for the long haul, it's better to end it now before things get too serious."

"I divorced my wife for him," Carlton said testily. Guster shrugged, not impressed by the argument. Okay, maybe citing a past failed relationship wasn't the best move, but that didn't mean it would happen again. "How do you know Shawn will stick around? That he won't get bored and want to move on to someone else?" he countered instead.

"He won't," Guster said confidently.

Carlton took a moment to consider this. Guster was Shawn's closest friend. His boyfriend had admitted Guster sometimes knew him better than he knew himself. If he believed Shawn would stay, he probably would. "Shawn was annoying the crap out of me for almost two years before we started dating. I knew from the beginning that would never change but I also knew he would be worth it." He sighed, picking up his drink from the table. He studied it for a long moment, debating how much he wanted to reveal to Guster. "I couldn't imagine my life without him." He threw back his drink and placed the empty glass on the table.

Guster nodded. "Shawn has that effect on people." He took a sip of his beer, brow furrowed in thought. "There's a lot about Shawn you don't know. Things that might make you change your mind."

Carlton had an idea of what Guster was implying. He knew Shawn wasn't psychic, had known from the beginning. He didn't want to use his relationship to force Shawn to finally admit how he did it though. He hoped his boyfriend would tell him when he was ready. "I think I can handle anything I may find out."

"I hope so," Guster said uncertainly. "I really hope so." The look he gave Carlton was not reassuring, making him wonder what else may lie in his boyfriend's past he didn't know about.

Shawn and O'Hara returned to the table, Shawn looking at them both expectantly. "You guys done with your talk?"

"Yeah, we're good," Guster said, shooting Carlton a look. He stood up to let O'Hara into the booth, who appeared a little lost at the exchange.

Shawn raised an eyebrow, looking at Carlton. "I see," he said in a tone that meant Carlton better give him all the details later. "Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm hungry." He slid into the booth next to Carlton and grabbed a menu. "How about we order something?"

"Sounds good to me," O'Hara said, grabbing the other menu for her and Guster to look over.

Shawn flagged down a waitress, who hurried over to their table as soon as she could. "What can I get for you guys tonight," the waitress, whose name tag read Wendy, asked.

"Well Wendy," Shawn said with his most charming smile, "we'll have the mozzarella sticks, jalapeno poppers, buffalo wings, chili cheese fries, and the sampler platter."

Wendy looked up from her notepad. "You do know the sampler platter has the first three items you ordered."

"But it also has potato wedges," Guster pointed out.

Wendy looked at him for a moment, then shook her head and wrote it down.

Shawn turned to Carlton. "That takes care of me and Gus. What about you two?"

"Are you guys really going to eat all that?" O'Hara asked skeptically.

"Have you met our boyfriends? Of course they are," Carlton said. He glanced over the menu, then up at his partner. "Want to split some cheese fries?"

"Sure."

"Can we also get another round of drinks?" Shawn added.

"Just water for me," Carlton quickly said.

"He didn't mean that," Shawn countered. "How about you make it a double this time?" He smiled winningly at Wendy.

"Four drinks, coming up." She glanced at Carlton and he swore she winked at him before she moved on to another table.

"Shawn, are you trying to get me drunk?" Carlton asked in exasperation.

"Yes." At his astonished look, Shawn grinned. "It's St. Patrick's Day. That means it's good luck to hang out with a drunken Irishman."

"I'm not Irish," Carlton said.

"But your grandfather was." Shawn shrugged. "It's close enough."

"Shawn, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Guster said.

"I was going to share," Shawn protested. "He would have been good luck for everyone."

"You are not getting me drunk," Carlton said firmly.

Shawn pouted. "Please Lassie?"

"One of us has to stay sober to drive home." Carlton waved a hand to encompass Shawn's flushed face and easy grin. His boyfriend was a bit of a lightweight. "Obviously that's not going to be you."

"Please Lassie, I'm fine." Shawn waved a hand dismissively. He hit into Carlton's glass, knocking it over and spreading water all over the table. Guster and O'Hara scrambled to stop the flow with napkins as Shawn grinned sheepishly at him. "Oops."

Carlton rolled his eyes. "Exactly."

Wendy returned, eyeing the mess his boyfriend had made of the table. "I'll get something to clean this up," she said before setting down their drinks.

"Thank you," Guster said politely.

Shawn stopped her before she could leave. "Where's Lassie's drink?"

Wendy raised an eyebrow. "I clearly heard him say water only." She shook her head. "You might want to try listening to your boyfriend more."

Guster snickered as she walked away. "You just got owned by a waitress." Shawn mumbled something under his breath, scowling at him. "I'm sorry, Shawn, what was that? I couldn't hear it over the sound of you getting owned."

Carlton leaned over, wrapping an arm around Shawn. "Ignore him," he said quietly, shooting his own glare at Guster. "You listen when it really matters. He's just being a jerk."

"Be nice, Gus," O'Hara said. She grabbed her boyfriend's arm and leaned against his side possessively, frowning at Carlton. "Not everybody is perfect."

Carlton felt Shawn shrink next to him. "Whatever," he muttered. Carlton had a few choice words he wanted to say at this point, but he knew it wouldn't help. This was why he didn't like when Shawn drank too much; he could become incredibly moody. There was a lot more to him than most people saw and the alcohol made it harder for his boyfriend to hide it all away. Though Guster should know better, being his best friend. He continued to glare at the man while rubbing Shawn's arm soothingly.

Guster was starting to look uncomfortable while O'Hara's frown was turning into a glare of her own. The two couples sat silently, the air full of tension, until the arrival of Wendy brought a much needed distraction.

She glanced at them cautiously as she cleaned up the mess and placed their food on the table. "Enjoy," she said before hurrying away.

Shawn looked at the food and slid one of the plates towards Guster. "Buffalo wing?"

Guster nodded as he took one. He slid a different plate towards Shawn. "Jalapeno popper?"

"Thanks." Shawn took one and magically the tension between the two disappeared. Carlton exchanged an amused look with O'Hara before they started in on their own greasy, artery clogging snack.

"You have got to try one of these poppers," Shawn said, waving one at Carlton. He bit into it and moaned in pleasure. "So good."

"I'll pass." Carlton detached a fry from the cheesy mess on the plate. He tilted his head back to get the trailing bit of cheese into his mouth with the fry without making a mess. He could see Shawn out of the corner his eye, licking his lips as he watched. He couldn't help repeating the process, sliding the fry into his mouth slowly as he watched his boyfriend's reaction.

Shawn seemed spellbound for a moment before he came to his senses. With a smirk and a raised eyebrow, as if to ask Carlton if he really wanted to play this game, he grabbed another popper off the plate. "Come on, Lassie. Have one. They used real cream cheese." He held it in front of Carlton's face, wiggling it enticingly.

Carlton eyed the greasy appetizer. Shawn would keep pestering him until he ate it and he did like jalapeno poppers when made the 'correct' way. Besides, he was curious how Shawn would work this into their 'game.' "All right." He turned towards Shawn and opened his mouth, letting his boyfriend put the food inside.

It was just cool enough that the cheese didn't burn his tongue when he bit down, flooding his mouth with the creamy filling. There was a hint of heat from the jalapeno, just enough to perfectly balance the sweetness of the cheese. He chewed slowly, savoring the taste.

"Want another one?" Shawn held another one up and Carlton opened his mouth obediently. This time Shawn let his fingers linger after placing the food in his mouth. He chewed and swallowed quickly before darting out his tongue and licking the grease off his boyfriend's fingers.

Lust darkened Shawn's eyes as he trailed his thumb along Carlton's bottom lip. He titled his head and sucked lightly on it, looking at Shawn as he did. "Got anymore?" he asked in a low voice.

"In a minute." Shawn leaned in, giving Carlton a hot, searing kiss. His tongue slipped into Carlton's mouth, moving around as if searching for a taste of those poppers.

Carlton braced on arm on the table to steady himself. The other slid up to the back of Shawn's head, cupping it gently as he slid along the bench closer to him.

A sharp cough reminded him they weren't alone. He quickly pulled away, glancing at the other couple at the table. Guster looked faintly disgusted and Carlton tried not to feel offended by that. O'Hara was grinning widely. "Having fun?" she asked cheekily.

Carlton cleared his throat, turning to face forward again. He could feel the heat spreading across his cheeks. "I think I'll stick to the fries."

Shawn found his hand under the table, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "More for me then," he said casually. He reached across the table for a napkin, allowing him to put his mouth near Carlton's ear. "We'll finish that later," he said, too low for the other two to hear. Carlton squeezed his hand in agreement.

They finished the food without further embarrassment to either couple. Afterward, Shawn stood up. "I can see we can all use another round of drinks. That includes you Lassie; one more won't kill you," he added before Carlton could protest. "Come on Gus."

"Why don't we just flag down the waitress?" Guster complained while obediently rising from the table.

"Because it's the men's job to get drinks for their dates," Shawn explained.

"I thought you were the girl," Guster said.

Shawn smirked at Carlton. "Not always." He nodded at O'Hara. "We'll be right back." He led the way to the bar, Guster muttering about over sharing as he followed.

Carlton sighed. He agreed with Guster about that point; Shawn really did need to learn to keep his mouth shut. The whole world did not need to know what went on in their bedroom; or wherever they ended up having sex.

"So is what Shawn said true?" O'Hara asked, looking at him a bit too eagerly.

"About what?" he asked cautiously.

"That he's not always the girl," she said with a grin.

"O'Hara!" he sputtered. He couldn't understand why his partner was so eager to hear about his sex life but he really wished she would butt out. But if he said anything she might insist in sharing details about her own to make them even and he did not want to go there.

"I'm curious," she said defensively. "You're my only gay friend; I don't have anyone else I can ask about that kind of stuff."

"What Shawn and I do together in private is nobody's business," he said firmly.

"Okay, I guess I can just ask Shawn about it instead," she said innocently, though with a slight smirk.

God only knows what Shawn would say to her if she asked. He sighed heavily. "Fine. What do you want to know?"

"When you and Shawn have sex, do you sometimes bottom?" she asked bluntly.

Carlton flushed. Never be said O'Hara didn't know when to go straight for the jugular. "Yes."

"Really?" she asked in surprise. "How does that work? I mean, I obviously know how it works," she added quickly, a faint blush coming to her cheeks. About time some of this is making her uncomfortable, he thought grouchily. "But do you guys take turns or have preferences?"

This was getting way too personal. His partner was nosy but usually knew not to cross the line. He could probably blame the drinks she had been downing all night for this. "You know what? I changed my mind. I don't want to talk about it." He looked around the room, desperate for a change of topic. His eyes landed on Shawn and Guster by the bar. "Shit."

"What?" O'Hara turned and followed his gaze to their boyfriends. A guy was glaring at Shawn and Guster, his two friends at his back. The green drink dripping from his and Guster's shirt let Carlton guess what happened. As he watched, the glaring guy gave Shawn a shove, knocking him back into the counter.

Carlton was on his feet within seconds and moving towards the bar. "Carlton!" He could hear O'Hara hurrying after him. Good; he might need some backup, especially if the asshole's friends decided to get involved. He didn't want to start a fight but he wasn't sure he could resist the urge to punch the guy. Nobody treated his boyfriend like that and got away with it.

With a growl he continued to push his way through the crowd towards Shawn.


I had a hell of a week and just got fired from my job yesterday.

Please review; it would really cheer me up.