Fuck this!" I yelled as I packed my clothes. Just because my mom got married, again, we had to move to wherever the hell he lives. It never works out anyway. After about a week she realizes that he's a jerk that just wants sex. All guys are like that. God she needs to get a clue. Dad was like that. We have to move to a shitty little town called, "Flower Bud Village". Are they trying to make it sound all happy? What the fuck.

Well this is fucking great news! Mom met a new guy and has decided to stay here. That would be great except for the fact that she's still making me go. By myself. Oh god-damn-it. I hate her and my fucking hell of a life.

"I hate fucking Flower Bud Village!" I screamed. What kind of idiot name is Flower Bud Village. There aren't even flowers!

My mom gave me like a hundred bucks to buy a plane ticket. What the hell? One hundred dollars to buy a fucking cross-country ticket. I had to take a fucking bus! A three day bus!

My house was so tiny with like five pieces of furniture. A bed, a shelf, a nightstand, a refrigerator, and a TV with like four freggin' channels.

There were only two rooms. The main room, that had my bed and the kitchen, and then the tiny fucking bathroom. And this lovely mansion is on a ranch.

There was a knock at the door. I so don't want to meet all the happy, draw a smile on your face, people. When I didn't answer, they knocked again. Grrr, that was getting annoying. They knocked again. "I'm coming!" I yelled. I give up, they are too frickin' irritating.

A short, ugly, fat man in a dress like thing was there. "What do you want?" I screamed angrily. He looked taken aback. I don't blame him. I would be pretty shocked in a 5'6, brown haired girl screamed at you at six in the morning.

"Uhh… uhhh…" he stammered. Oh my god they can't even talk right here!

"Get on with it, short man!"

Flustered he said, "I'm Mayor Theodore. I'm just here to welcome you. Uhhh… what's you're name?" he asked.

"Ronni," I answered. I was completely pissed, not only had I moved to some tiny, fucking town named Flower Bud Village, the mayor was a fucking cross dresser!

"Well Ronni, what would you like to name you're ranch here?" he asked regaining his composure. I don't know what it fucking matters. Wait, I got it! I smiled a big, huge fake grin.

"Fucking, I want to name it Fucking Ranch!" I said sweetly. The mayor's eyes got big.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"No!" I screamed. "I'm not going to name the stupid ranch!"

After his eyes got back to normal size, again, he smiled a huge smile and then clapped his hands . "All right then we'll just call it… Happy Ranch!"

"Are you fucking retarded!" I screamed at him. He blinked and took a step back in shock.

"A-a-a-a-a-all r-r-r-r-r-right then Miss Ronni, what would you like to call it?" he asked stuttering.

"Oh my god!" I exploded. Did he not hear what I just said! I don't want to name the ranch! "Fine. I give up," I said, "I'll call it The Ranch."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure!" I screeched. This man was a complete idiot.

"Excellent! The Ranch is a great name!" he said clapping again. "It's a good idea to go out and meet the villagers. That way you'll be familiar with them and the town."

"You mean Flower Bud Town?," I scoffed. "I think you need to get out before I get really mad and get my kitchen knives," I said as I pushed him out the door.

"He tried to hang on to the door frame as he asked, "Would you like me to teach you the farming basics?"

"Get out!" I shoved him out and slammed the door in his face. That is one man I will stay away form. Forever.

There was a knock on my door. God, the mayor better hope on his life it's not him again. "What do you fucking want short man?" I screamed. Instead of that bastard Theodore, there were three little people things dressed in yellow, blue and red. Oh god, am I going insane?

"Oh gosh. She can see us!" the blue one said excitedly.

The red one gasped in surprise. "It's been such a long time since anyone could see us!"

The yellow one remained silent. I like that one.

Then I was magically poofed to a pond.

"What the hell is that?" I asked not so quietly. They seemed confused. "The giant stone fairy!" I screamed.

"Oh," they all murmured together. They then walked over to a cliff. The only thing separating them from the stone fairy was a big gaping hole. Against my better judgment, I ran after them. I ran behind the red one in the front and accidentally bumped into him.

"Oh!" he yelled trying to balance himself. He was about to fall off the edge. He regained his balance though. Damn.

The other two midgets were talking to making sure he was okay. It was a perfect chance. So I took it.

I crept up back behind the red one and "accidentally" pushed him.

"Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!" was the last thing we heard from him.

"Why did you do that?" the blue one demanded looking down to the bottom of the cliff.

I shrugged. "He was bugging the hell out of me." I looked down too. Shit! He was still alive!

"Help me!" he whined, "I can't get up!" The other two midgets pointedly looked at me.

"Can't he just magically poof up here like you guys magically poofed me here?" I asked annoyed. They just can't die can they?

"Oh yah… I guess he can," the yellow one agreed.

"Idiots," I mumbled loud enough for them to hear. The yellow one grinned and gave me a high five. At least this one had taste. Very good taste at that.

The red one poofed beside me. He glared at me, but only for a second. "Anyway this is the Harvest Goddess. She turned herself to stone because she was upset with the way the humans are," the red one said.

All of a sudden a dude or a chick came running over. He or she had purple hair, blue eyes, was wearing a very ugly striped poncho, and an even uglier hat. "Hey!" he or she yelled. "Stop trying to revive the Harvest Goddess! I will do that! It's because of humans like you that this happened! He or she screamed waving their arms.

"Excuse me?" I asked rudely. "What the hell is your problem? Give me a name."

"I'm Jamie," he said. He opened his mouth to say something else, but I cut him off.

"Well Jamie," I mocked the name, "Are you a dude or a chick?"

The midgets gasped in unison. "That's rude, Ronni!"

"Shut up!" I yelled. "What are you guys anyway? Midgets, babies, things?"

"W-w-w-w-w-we're sprites!"

"Well then sprites, stop interrupting me," I snapped. "Jamie, boy or girl?"

"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-boy," he stuttered and blushed.

"What is it with everyone here and stuttering!?" I exploded. "It's getting really annoying! If you have something to say then say it! Don't sit there like a moron repeating the first sound in the word!" God these people were really ticking me off.

Jamie composed himself and said, "Where do you go telling everyone off?"

I glared at him. "I go telling everyone off," I mocked, "because I can." He didn't say anything. "Why did you sprites bring me here anyway?"

"We want you to help bring back the Harvest Goddess," the yellow one said quietly.

"Fine whatever. I'll help. How?"

"You have to collect musical notes," the blue one said.

"Fucking musical notes! What the hell!"

"Farming and doing everyday things will help you get them," the red one said even quieter.

"Fine, I'm leaving," I said, but right as I took one step something spun me around and then a note popped up above my head and disappeared. "What just happened?"

The sprites smiled. The yellow one said, "Congratulations!"

"You found a musical note!" the blue one chimed in.

"Yeah!" they all said together.

"I am so out of here," I said as I took more steps before realizing that I didn't know how to get back. "Would you pretty please poof me back to my ranch?" I asked in my sugar-sweet voice.

"Yeah!" they said again. Suddenly I was back.

As soon as I had closed the door to my house, again, there was another knock. Another unwanted guest.

I flung open the door to be greeted my a short girl with short brown hair and caramel colored eyes. She was wearing a yellow shirt, orange striped skirt, boots and an apron. Very ugly. But next to her was a dog. It was light brown, had floppy ears, and a red bandana around its neck. Aw hell.

"Hi I'm Ellen," the girl said. "It's nice to meet you. I live with my father, Hans, and my cousin, Blue," she spoke happily.

"Umm… hi?" It was a question, not a statement. Why is she here at, I looked at the clock, holy crap it's already noon! I wasted six hours with the mayor, the sprites, and Jamie. And now I bet I'll waste another hour or two with Ellen.

"You see, I found this little dog all alone and was wondering if you could possibly take him. I wouldn't know who else to give him to because you live on a ranch so I thought you would have plenty of room…" she went on, but I just stopped listening.

"Yah, yah, yah, I'll take him Does the pooch have a name?" I asked. I just wanted to speed things along.

"No, I was hoping you could come up with something…" she frowned. "But if you can't surely I can think of something…"

"No I got it," I said, "I'll call him…" then I smiled another huge, fake grin and said, "Cat."

"Are you sure?"

"YES!" I screamed exasperated.

"Do you like that?" she asked the dog newly named Cat. He wagged his tail and barked. "I'll take that as a yes, Cat…" she went into deep thought. "I like that name. Excellent. Cat is a great name for your new pet. There is a doghouse outside of your house to the left." Is she stupid? I've been outside my house before. "If you leave him outside at night that's where he'll sleep. Be sure to pick him up, talk to him, and feed him everyday. The more you interact with him the more he'll like you," Ellen explained.

"Yah okay I got it. Play with him, feed him, blah, blah, blah. Bye," I said as I opened the door so she could leave.

She started towards the door, but then stopped mid-step. Damn-it, she was so close! "I never did catch your name," Ellen said.

"Ronni, it's Ronni. Bye now." I then pushed her out of my house. What is it with people and not leaving? Isn't it like considered rude or something?

Ugh, I was right. It took an hour, it's now 1:07 pm. Apparently I have work to do. I set Cat down, but then realized I didn't exactly know what to do. Eh, work can wait. I might as well go out and meet all the other shitty people. Ugh, this is going to be a long day.