Reminder that none of my stories go together, it's just that most of my stories mysteriously end up with Layton and Descole getting it on. dEsLaY fAn FoR lYfE am I right?
It was the sixty-ninth day of shooting Professor Layton and The Azran Legacy. For this, Layton and Descole were sure. Both actors had the date circled with hearts on their calendars, not just because sixty-nine was a funny number, but for this would be the day they were to film "the touching scene."
"Alright, everyone get in your places!" the director shouted into his expensive megaphone.
Layton freshened his breath with pepper spray and Descole chucked his unfinished pizza slice onto the floor. This is the scene they were waiting for – the scene where they would get it on.
[Scene opens in the Chamber of Fire. Descole is severely crippled and is dying in Layton's arms.]
DESCOLE: Ow. (he coughs blood) Everything on my body hurts, except for the areas that you are touching with your handsome, man fingers. Please touch me more. I'm dying.
LAYTON: Hang in there, Descole! (he rubs his hands down Descole's thighs) Does it feel good when I touch you there?
DESCOLE: (he moans) OH GOD, YES! Now listen up, I have to tell you something very important before I die.
LAYTON: You can tell me anything, big boy. (he winks and slips his hand down Descole's pants)
DESCOLE: Layton, we're totally brothers.
"CUT!" Layton and Descole shouted simultaneously.
"How many times do I have to tell you stupid actors that only I get to call the cuts?" the director fumed.
"Mr. Gibson, we believe there is a typo in the script," Layton spoke calmly and reasonably with his hand still down Descole's pants.
"Yes," Descole chimed in. "You typed 'we're totally brothers' where the line should say 'we're totally lovers.'"
Mr. Gibson took a second look at the script.
"No, everything's correct. Stop wasting my fucking time."
"But this is supposed to be the touching scene!" Layton argued.
"Yeah! We can't touch each other if we're brothers!"
"God damn it, when I said touching, I meant emotional. Heartfelt. Tear inducing. That's what this scene is supposed to mean," Mr. Gibson tried to explain to the confused and dumbfounded actors.
"Sounds more like this scene is supposed to suck," Descole grumbled. "Change the script or I'll kill you with this prop sword."
"I can't change the script. This film is based off a true story. You guys really are brothers."
It was at this moment that Layton retrieved his hand from Descole's pants.
"Okaaaaaay, take two!" Gibson shouted in the megaphone, but Layton and Descole had already packed their things and said goodbye to the rest of the crew. "Where do you pricks think you're going?! I'm Mel fucking Gibson!"
"We're heading back to our trailers," Layton answered. "We quit."
"Bye, Mel," Descole waved.
"You guys can't go back into those trailers if you quit."
Layton and Descole gave Mel Gibson the middle finger and walked back to their trailers.
