AUTHOR'S NOTE: I only watched this episode once, and that was months ago, so if I have some sort of continuity thing wrong... blame it on the fact that it's a Red Dwarf fanfic. ;) Nah, just message me and point it out I guess. A bit of Lister's feelings post-season 8 into Back to Earth. Tell me what you think? Feedback is love! :-D
"I waited for yeh, ya know. I sat right there in front o' the smeggin' mirror machine thing as everythin' went ta smeg. Kryten had ta drag me through, kickin' an' screamin', tellin' me we had ta go, an' alla that. I didn't want to, man. I knew you'd come back. I told 'em so, but they didn't believe me. They said you was too much of a coward ta come back to a ship like that, didn' care enough about us ta risk yer hide. They didn't know yeh like I knew you. They didn't know that you had it in you to become Ace. I knew. I knew you'd go back, but fer once I smeggin' well wish yeh didn't! Why'd ya hafta pick that day to be a hero? Why couldn't ya have done what Kryten 'n' the rest said you would 'n' stayed where it was safe?
I looked for yeh, ya know. Scoured every deck; wouldn't trust what Holly said 'bout you not bein' on board. You was jus' hidin', I told myself. Jus' under the scanner table or behind somethin' in the boiler room. Jus' hidin' somewhere….
I sat right in front o' that mirror device thing, waitin' fer you ta come back. Waitin' for our newly minted Ace to stumble through the glass with the beginnin's of a swagger. I waited, and I waited, long after I knew you weren't comin' back. Kryten tried to comfort me, told me it will be OK; but it won't be, will it? Not fer you. I sat there for a while, jus' starin' at the glass, thinkin' about everythin' we been through together and seein' it up there, on a cinema screen, like. But you weren't comin' back, were yeh? Kryten had ta drag me away. Not kickin' an' screamin' this time, jus' tired, like part o' me was dead too.
I kept hopin'…. Hopin', ya know, like a kid hopes that maybe his parents was wrong about there bein' no Santa. Sometimes I'd go down ta that room 'n' check, jus' to see…. But you never came. I waited, man…. I waited….
But we gotta move on, yeah? But there's somethin' not right about movin' on without a Rimmeh here. I couldn't let them move the ship 'til part of you was with us, like a living monument, like. Kryten found anotheh spare light bee, and I made him turn you back on. Well, not you exactly, but it's you. 'N' maybe whereveh you are, you'll feel better somehow knowin' part of you is still alive somehow. Maybe… maybe you'll see you're not as replaceable as yeh think.
And it's not fair that the moment you start bein' brave yeh get killed like this, that the moment ya start comin' out o' yer chrysalis, like, yeh get stomped on. It's not fair, is it? … No, it's not. But I jus' want ta let you know, your act o' bravery's not gonna be fergotten. I promise, man. 'S not gonna be forgotten…."
Lister sniffed a little as he stared at his reflection in the image of the man before him. Glass betrayed the hint of tears glistening in his warm brown eyes, and he looked away. With a shuddering breath, he lowered the picture of Arnold J. Rimmer to the floor of the makeshift memorial and stood, giving it a long, hard look. With a teary laugh that was more of a jerk of the shoulders than a sound, he gave his best, most serious rendition of the famous "Rimmer-salute" before dropping his arm to his side. With a tap of fingers to the brim of his hat, Lister gave the picture his own version of an honored goodbye. A tiny smile quirked the corner of his lips as he turned to leave.
"See ya, Smeghead."
