Not Another Cliched Fanfic


A few snowflakes fell softly on the other side of the window Hermione Granger was staring out of. She let out a heavy sigh and wished that so many people wouldn't start their stories with that stupid cliché.

Then a booming voice rang through her head: "MAYBE I WANT TO START IT OUT WITH A STUPID CLICHÉ! MAYBE THERE IS A POINT TO IT!"

"All right, all right," she said to no one who was actually there, but then muttered, "I hate creative license." Which, by the way, I totally heard!

She walked away from the window and picked up a forgotten book on the floor, but then stopped, saying, "Why would I have forgotten a book and thrown it on the floor? I love books!" However, just then the book mysteriously floated into the air and hit her hard on the head, which was exactly what she deserved.

Hermione decided it was a better idea just to go down to the common room and stop questioning what goes on in a story that doesn't belong to her.

"Hey Mio, what's going on?" Harry asked from by the fire.

She took the seat next to him while replying, "Oh, nothing."

"Wait a second," Harry started, confused. "These are the most popular spots in the room, how is the seat next to me vacant for her to sit in?"

"CRIMMINY!" called the booming voice. "Let's just say its Christmas break and there are very few people in Gryffindor Tower! Satisfied?"

"Technically you should have told the readers this before I came down here," said Hermione in the general direction of the ceiling, before shielding her head with a book she clung to very tightly. It was one of her favorites, and a real shame that she then threw it into the fire and watched it burn.

The two best friends looked at each other, scared.

"Anyway, Mio…," Harry began, "Do you want to play wizard chess?"

Then all of a sudden a very flamboyant man, wearing a beret, charged into the room screaming, "No! No! No! This is a love scene, darlings. Chess isn't romantic! Okay, okay, lets see what we can do… Oh, I know! SET CHANGE! I need some snowy trees and a full moon."

"Um," Hermione interjected timidly, "There won't be a full moon for another week."

The director just laughed at her and cried, "We don't have all day people!"

Harry and Hermione watched in amazement as the Gryffindor common room was taken away on miniature wheels and a beautiful winter backdrop replaced it. However, the man that had just entered wasn't as pleased.

"This isn't castle! This isn't magic! Jerry, get a team and make me something appropriate. That's it for today guys!" and the lights went off.

"Harry? Are you still here?" Mio asked, trembling. It was pitch black and she had just suffered an extreme shock.

"Yeah."

"What should we do?"

"Go to bed, I guess."

But just then the lights turned back on and a voice screamed, "Now THIS I can work with."

Harry and Hermione jumped away from each other quickly, exchanging looks.