I wrote this chapter all in one day, yay! I'm rather proud of myself right now.

Mind: This contains sibling incest, sexual content, and in later chapters threesomes (m/m/m). Don't like, don't read.


Despite his best efforts, Zeref couldn't tear his eyes away from his little brother. What was up with him, he didn't know, but lately he found everything about Natsu, his gentle smiles, his stupid pranks, his every movement, intriguing and endearing.

The sound of Natsu's laughter struck a chord within Zeref's body. A warm feeling spread in his abdomen and his skin prickled. Over the last few months, Natsu had awoken a part of him that had been sleeping for far too long, a feeling that he'd nearly forgotten even existed.

Just then Natsu bumped his shoulder against Gray who already had tears in his eyes from laughing. Zeref's heart clenched, along with his fist under the table, and he averted his eyes. He had no recollection of ever having felt like this before, other than in the past few months. Whenever he noticed that Natsu's eyes lit up or that his smiles became just a little brighter when a certain ice mage was around, something not unlike a roaring beast woke up inside him.

"Here you go," Lucy said as she sat two steaming mugs down on the table and then flopped onto the bench beside him.

"Thanks."

Zeref wrapped his hands around the mug, thankful for the distraction. It was scalding hot, but he didn't care. He'd withstood a far greater heat already.

'Natsu's fire... Despite the heat, it felt oddly comforting to be surrounded by his magic. It didn't burn me because I'm immo—no, because I used to be immortal. But damn, it almost felt like an embrace. I wonder what it would feel like to lie in his arms for real, and not just a short hug to say hello or bye.'

"—care! Hey, are you even listening? You're burning your hands!"

With a start, Zeref let go of the mug. His palms were scarlet and they hurt.

Lucy snatched the mug away from him, shooting him a reproachful glare.

"Seriously, you need to be more careful! You're not invulnerable anymore. How many more times are you going to accidentally hurt yourself because you're too careless? One day you're really gonna kill yourself because you didn't know that a fall from a high place could kill a person."

Zeref rolled his eyes. Was it his fault that he'd forgotten about the weak physique of a mortal body in his four hundred years of being immortal?

"I'm sorry, mom. I won't ever hold a hot mug like this again, lest it kills me."

Lucy growled. She hated when he called her that.

"And?"

"And I won't jump from high places again, I won't let myself be bitten by any kind of animal, I won't ask another mage to hit me with all he's got without defending myself, I won't put my finger into something on the stove to test the temperature, I'll be more careful with kitchen knives, I won't walk into the way of a driving vehicle, and I won't underestimate the pain of a paper cut."

Her eyebrows rose. "And?"

There was more? What had he forgotten?

Ah!

"I also won't bite my tongue to suppress a smile ever again. Happiness is not something I should stifle. Generally, I should not try to suppress any feeling I have as that would only lead to dissatisfaction and I deserve to be happy after all this mess I've been through."

Lucy hit his shoulder, a blush rising on her cheeks. "You didn't have to repeat the whole thing."

He made a mock saluting gesture, hissing at the pain in his palm.

"Yes sir. It won't happen again. And now I'll go ask Wendy if she can—"

"No Wendy this time. If you're never going through a proper healing process, you'll never learn to take care of your body. There won't always be a healer close by when you get hurt."

He was about to protest when a weight settled onto his head and a warm body pressed against his back.

"I agree with her. Sometimes I wonder who of us is the big brother that supposedly lived four hundred years already. I'm going to take care of you during your healing process."

'Natsu taking care of me? Maybe going through a healing process isn't that bad after all.'

He turned his palms upward to inspect the damage, noting that they were starting to blister.

'They're burning like hell. Maybe I should cool th—'

"Give me your hands, idiot."

Zeref looked to his left where Gray had just sat down and was now leaning into his personal space, reaching for his hands. Zeref bit back a wince when their hands touched, but he noticed quickly that Gray's hands were ice cold. He closed his eyes and let out a relieved sigh as the pain became more bearable.

Sadly, Natsu took a step back as Zeref turned sideways on the bench so that Gray had better access to his hands.

Zeref always enjoyed every second of his little brother being close to him, touching him. Natsu didn't even seem to notice, let alone care, that he was being overly touchy with him. Maybe it was his way of making up for years of being apart. Or maybe this was his way of showing that he cared. By the looks of it, he was starting to work up the courage to treat Gray like that, too.

Zeref let his gaze wander over to Natsu, hoping to get him to close the distance again, but what he found made him pause. Natsu's lips were parted slightly, he was staring alternately at Gray's face and their linked hands, and if Zeref wasn't imagining things, there was a blush rising on his cheeks.

Was he jealous? After all, Gray was holding hands with somebody else. Sure, it served a practical purpose, but it was happening all the same. Zeref didn't know what a jealous expression should look like, but he really didn't think that this was it. He'd say Natsu was rather fascinated by what he saw.

Natsu gulped. His eyes slowly wandered up Zeref's arms to his face, and Zeref knew he ought to look away, but he didn't. He could hardly be blamed. Everything about Natsu drew him in like a magnet. His eyes, his face, his full lips. What would they feel like? Zeref wanted to touch them, to lay his own lips on them—

Gray cleared his throat, startling Zeref out of his daydream. He quickly averted his eyes and met Gray's reproachful gaze, only then noticing that his heart was hammering and his breath came quicker.

'What the hell is wrong with me? I've been staring at Natsu's lips and I even thought about kissing them.'

"W-well... I was about to take you to the bathroom to run cold water over it, but I guess this works just fine."

Natsu's voice was strangely croaky. Despite the strong desire, Zeref didn't dare risking another glance.


That evening, Zeref lay awake, hyperaware of his useless, bandaged hands. He couldn't do anything like this. The realization of what this entailed had only hit him when Natsu had offered to take a bath together with him.

Well, you can neither wash yourself nor undress on your own, right?

Of course he couldn't. Admittedly, his I'll figure something out and now leave me alone, I'm tired and then tackling Natsu out of his bedroom hadn't been the best reaction, but what else should he have done? There was no way he'd let Natsu lay a hand on his body, now that he had proof of his physical reaction to the thought of Natsu touching him.

He would rather not wash himself and not change clothes for the next few days than letting Natsu see him naked and hard, thank you very much.

Zeref had no business feeling attracted to his little brother. They were family. There was no way Natsu would ever return these stupid feelings, so he'd just have to get over them as quickly as possible. What did they mean anyway? It was true that he hadn't had sex in a very long time, but he could solve that problem by just finding somebody for a one-night-stand. Or by taking matters into his own hand. Which he currently couldn't, as his hands were two giant balls of bandage. He shouldn't have let Natsu do it. But then again, he had enjoyed having Natsu so close, and for an extended period of time at that.

'He did say he was going to take care of me. He would have undressed me, washed me, and dressed me again if I had just let him... Hasn't he realized earlier that there's something going on? That I want... more from him? Or could it be that he did notice... and... and what? If he noticed and still offered something like a bath together... does he want to take his chance?'

A moan escaped his lips before he could stop it.

'Shit, I'm so damn horny. When was the last time I masturbated? I can't even remember.'

His aching arousal made it hard to think of anything but Natsu.

'Shortly before I kicked him out of my room, he said he'd help me with anything, but how am I supposed to take that? Would he help me masturbate? No, no, no! No way. He didn't mean it like that. Why would he? As I know him, he's probably oblivious to everything and doesn't mean anything special by it.'

But even so, that certainly didn't stop him from imagining how Natsu would react if Zeref requested his help, or if he clumsily started jerking himself off and Natsu happened to walk in on him, or if they took a bath together and Zeref got hard. There were countless options and his mind made sure to show him many of them, always with the outcome that Natsu happily got involved with him.

Before long, he turned around and humped the mattress in a desperate attempt to get at least a part of the pent-up desire out of his system.


Even though both of their bedroom doors were closed, Natsu could hear Zeref's muffled whimpers clearly. He'd been about to succumb to sleep when his sharp ears caught the first, rather loud moan. That bastard just had to destroy everything again, when Natsu had finally managed to calm down his spinning thoughts and confused feelings enough so that he could fall asleep.

He'd been aware of his love for Gray for a while already, but then his brother had to barge in and turn everything upside down. He'd made Natsu doubt everything. Not only his feelings for Gray, but also his sanity. After all, what kind of stupid person would fall in love with his biological brother? When he was already in love with another person on top of that.

He felt guilt towards Gray because his heart didn't belong solely to him anymore. He felt guilty because his feelings for Zeref weren't pure brotherly love. But most of all, he felt sorry for himself as neither of these two would ever return his feelings. And even in the unlikely case that one of them did return them, he'd still feel guilty every time they'd kiss because there was somebody else on his mind.

When he'd seen Gray holding his brother's hands earlier that day, it had been like a revelation. If only these two could end up together, Natsu thought he could be happy... probably.

"Nnhh..."

Natsu bit his lip, but the one who'd made that sound wasn't him.

'Nii-san... what are you doing to me? Couldn't you have waited another few minutes until I was asleep?'

"Aahh..."

Who was he thinking of when he did it? Was it Gray? Natsu had never heard his brother jerking off before, and they'd been living together since the war had ended, which meant it was three months already. Was it merely a coincidence that he masturbated on the same day he'd held Gray's hands for at least ten minutes straight? Or had Natsu only never heard Zeref doing it before because he'd always been asleep the other times?

How did Zeref even manage to jerk off when his hands were bandaged? Natsu held his breath for a few seconds and listened closely. The only sounds he heard from Zeref's bedroom were sheets rustling and ragged breathing. Did he rub his bandaged hand over his crotch? Whatever it was, Natsu couldn't imagine it was effective.

'My brother, handicapped but still trying to get off... I bet he looks hot. I wonder what he'd do if I offered to help out. Shit. He'd surely kill me if I did that.'


Leave a Review to vote:

A. Go and offer him a hand
B. Just gonna watch him through the keyhole, nothing more...
C. Masturbate in own room
D. Do nothing and suffer silently

If there's a draw between two/more options, I'm gonna choose the one I like best, throw a dice, or whatever.

Keep in mind: the decision that looks like it's going to contain the most smut / the least Angst doesn't necessarily need to turn out to be the one with the most smut / the least Angst.

Update 08/25/2017:

I'm closing the poll now. No more votes please - they will not be counted anymore as I have already started writing Chapter 2. The results are as follows:

(A): 5 votes (2x Tumblr, 2x AO3, 1x ffn)

(B): 4 votes (1x Tumblr, 3x ffn)

(C): 1 vote (1x ffn)

Something else: I don't accept requests/suggestions. The only way for you as a reader to influence this fic is to vote on one of the options I'm presenting you. The rest is completely up to me.

I also don't like comments along the lines of "please update soon". Writing is just a hobby of mine and I don't appreciate pressure. It can spoil the fun for me, which can lead to slower/no more writing on my side, which will make my readers (you) unhappy.

To get quicker updates, leaving positive and non-pressuring feedback is the way to go ;-)