Title: Just an Echo in the Night

Author: lilyme

Summary: Set during "Sanctuary". Haunted by her thoughts and cornered by people looking for...justice, Faith is made an offer. Eventually Crossover with Dollhouse (AKA Joss and Eliza's new show)

Rating: R

Part: 1/3

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel the Series, characters, plots and dialogues belong to Joss Whedon, David Greenwalt and Mutant Enemy ("grrr argh"), The WB and Twentieth Century Fox. Echo and her Dollhouse belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Eliza Dushku and Boston Diva Productions (insert fitting Eliza-y quote here), FOX and Twentieth Century Fox. No copyright infringement intended. This has been made for entertainment purposes solely.

Author's note: Ignore the timeline. No idea "when" Dollhouse is supposed to take place, but I guess it's not the year 2000 :P

Thanks to my betas Will-Lehane- and K (she goes by many names)


She was sitting here. In Angel's apartment. Watching TV.

Not on the run. Not out there. Not…

A bowl of popcorn, a drink and a remote control. Pictures from various TV programs flicking past her without her really paying attention.

Some black and white movie, a man hitting a woman. A baseball game. 'Superman', saving the day, protecting those who needed, deserved to be protected…

As on cue, "Is everything okay in there?" she heard him asking from the other end of the room. Fast showerer, that vampire guy.

"I was touch and go for those four minutes you left me alone, but somehow I got through it," came the remark, which sounded snippier than anticipated.

It was just…a little ironic. Him – a vampire; her – a vampire slayer. Mortal enemies, to say the least. Given normal circumstances, she should kill him. Given less normal circumstances, he might kill her.

Given the most abnormal circumstances…he'd offer her sanctuary in his non-crypt apartment, after she'd made attempts to piss him off well enough to kill her.

That was the problem – he should have killed her. He hadn't done it.

Instead he played just that – Superman. And on top of that made plans to help her redeem. When all she wanted was to be killed by him. Or anyone. At last resort herself.

But no...that hadn't worked either. He just had to come back and take that knife from her. She should have been faster. Should not have waited that long to make sure he was gone before sneaking her way out of bed and into the kitchen.Now she was under close observation. Very close observation, considering there was only one guy here to observe her.

And that – again – was her fault. If she'd just walked out and had gone on the 'pretty short run' that'd mark the rest of her life...

But maybe…death wasn't her ultimate goal. Maybe it seemed just the easiest way to forget everything she had done, to erase everything that she seemed to represent in the eyes of others. And always had represented. Murderer or not, she never stood a chance.

Disappearing. Erasing her existence. Fading away.

It would be better for the world. She could think of several people who'd rather see her gone, if not dead.

Switching to the next channel, she knew she was right.

"Los Angeles police in conjunction with Federal authorities are looking for this woman tonight. A felony suspect from the California town of Sunnydale."

The face on the screen was all too familiar. Not a woman. 'Not much more than a child'. With tired eyes. Pale features. 'Worn out'. A girl looking too old for her barely seventeen years of age.

Angel's concerned, "Faith?" at her knocking her drink off the table, smashing the glass, and the approaching footsteps didn't register on her brain.

She had known that it was coming. Still it chilled her to the bone. Reminded her of her old, unbearable self once again.

Angel crouched down beside her. "We knew about this," he said, his voice drowning the one on TV. "Nothing's changed, alright? Nothing's..."

"Anyone with any information about the whereabouts of this subject should get in touch with law enforcement immediately." Angel faltered when he heard another, well-known voice from the TV, holding a press conference. "Do not approach her. She is violent and unpredictable..."

'Violent'. 'Unpredictable'. Two words that seemed to have been created to describe just who she was.

Cold hands grasped her shoulders roughly as the vampire recovered from the shock that almost matched her own. "Listen to me, Faith. You're safe here," he shook her out of her reverie, tried to reassure her, "You hear me? You're safe."

'Safe'. For a second she believed him.

Then something dropped down on them and she realized that he was not all right. Not regarding this demon that he pushed her into killing right that second. Not regarding herself, as she realized when she came to again and stared down at the dead demon, Angel scrambling to his feet and…the bloodied knife in her bloody hand.

The knife that she had held earlier and that Angel had taken from her.

The knife – not smeared with her own blood. But with the blood of a victim.

Even though this one had been a demon…its blood frightened her. "No." There had been blood on her hands too many times before.

"Hey. Hey. Shhh." Again Angel grabbed her arms, this time lead her to sit down on a day bed. "Sit down."

Briefly she looked at him. He was taking care of her. Why? She didn't deserve this treatment. Even by him. He had been like her once, but he hadn't had a soul. She had had hers – throughout the entire time. He was better than her, should not be sullied by her.

He held her close. "Shh. It's- it's okay." Soothing.

She gave in. Wrapped her arms around his neck, careful to keep her hands away from him.

She tried not to, but she shook uncontrollably. Spilled tears onto his neck. She didn't deserve his kindness, she knew this very well. But she couldn't bring herself to shake his gentle embrace.

She needed it. She was looking for warmth. Warmth that wasn't there. At least not the physical kind. But deep down in the vampire, there it was. She knew it was there, she had felt it before. And she was feeling it now.

And maybe part of her wanted to use this opportunity, him, to find the same thing in herself.

Convince herself that she wasn't just this…person. Coldblooded killer. Unfeeling monster. Ruthless traitor.

She could feel it. It was starting to work. He was reaching something inside of her.

She wanted to hold on tighter.

But then it was gone. His protective embrace. And she was alone with the blood on her hands and the gut-wrenching feeling that this sight brought with it.

This was what always happened to her. She tried to hold onto something, someone…and then something happened that made them leave. And the something always had to do with hurting…if not with death altogether.

And she knew that it was her fault.

She rubbed her hands. A vain attempt to get the blood off.

Fruitless.

She took one hand in the other, made a fist. Shielded the blood from her and everyone else's view. She wanted no one to see it, wanted to pretend it wasn't there.

In the back of her mind she realized someone was talking next to her. Who, she didn't know. One guess was Angel, but there was also someone else.

"She - we were attacked."

"'We'? You and..."

"Faith."

"You and Faith."

She could barely read the emotions in the second voice. The emotions that were connected to her name…but slowly her mind cleared up and made her begin to realize who exactly the second person was.

"Giles heard that...that she tried to kill you."

"It's true."

"So you decided to punish her with a severe cuddling."

"Is that why you're here? To punish her?"

She came to. Turned her head and laid eyes on the newcomer for the first time.

"Buffy."

The blonde reacted immediately, her head whipped around to face Faith.

"Oh, God," Faith mumbled and automatically bowed her head, shying away from the other slayer.

"You didn't think I was gonna find you, did you?"

It was true. She had no idea how Buffy knew she was here. It was not like Faith herself had known that Angel was in Los Angeles now when she had come here.

She had just wanted to get out of Sunnyhell. Get away from Buffy and her friends and everything that she had done to them.

A random train. A random bus. She could have ended up back in Boston, for all she cared. She had simply wanted to disappear.

Then Angel had found her, or rather the other way around. And now Buffy.

She had thought that the blonde was another one of those people who'd want her gone. Maybe that was the case and Buffy just wanted to inflict some pain before getting rid of her once and for all.

"She wants to change. She has a chance to..."

"No. No chance. Jail."

Which is also a way of making someone disappear. Judging from the bitterness in Buffy's voice, Faith was sure that she didn't plan on visiting her there.

Faith slowly got up. She wanted...she wanted... She knew that nothing she'd say could make Buffy forget what she had done to her, but, damn, she wanted...

"You think that'll help?" Angel replied to Buffy's demand in disbelieving tone.

"Buffy...," she started and had to fight to keep her voice from shaking, "I'm sor..."

"If you apologize to me, I will beat you to death," the blonde cut her off, her voice low, cold and speaking deliberately slow. It sounded like a promise she only wanted Faith to hear.

Faith was not taken aback by the blonde's reaction. She couldn't have expected anything else from her. Not after everything.

"Go ahead," she said quietly. She wouldn't fight back. Jail, death, to her it was all the same right now. Though if she had to choose...she'd rather be dead than having to spend days, weeks, months...years of solitary alone with her thoughts. If there was just a way she could forget about all this...

"This is not gonna happen."

Angel put himself between Buffy and her. Of course he was referring to Buffy's threat, but for her it almost seemed to be a reply to her thought.

"Think you can stop me?" Buffy asked with a mixture of amusement and annoyance on her face. "Because you're gonna have to."

Angel's stance, the way he made sure there was no way that Buffy could reach her...she didn't know if she should be relieved or afraid.

Relieved. Because she had no idea if Buffy would have followed through with her threat. It wasn't her own death, which she feared...she could have "lived" with her own death, although not every part of her wanted it. But Buffy...she should not become like her, under no circumstances. Even if the blonde felt like this now...she knew she didn't really want it. The look on Buffy's face right after this one had driven the knife into her was still vivid in her mind... It had been pure abhorrence about what she had just done.

Afraid. Because she knew what was about to happen. She could practically grasp the pre-fight tension with her hand. He shouldn't do this because of her. She wasn't worth it. She was not a good person, never had been, never would be. She didn't deserve to be saved.

"Don't do this." Her voice sounded meek and timid, as she stepped out of his shadow. She was talking to him mostly. To her he seemed more susceptible to reason than Buffy right now.

She was wrong.

"Faith, go upstairs now." He never took his eyes off Buffy when he told her this.

She could hear the threat in his surprisingly even voice. A threat that she knew was directed at Buffy. But part of her feared that his anger would be aimed at her, if she didn't comply.

She wanted to go. But another threat, a blonde threat, was standing between her and the stairs.

"You think I'm gonna let her out of my sight?!" Buffy was enraged.

"Buffy, just back off!" Angel raised his voice, speaking in a tone that neither slayer had ever heard from him.

But whereas one became even more enraged due to his behavior, the other one got more afraid with every millisecond that passed.

She felt like she was being propelled back into her childhood. Remembered a particular fight between her mom and one of her boyfriends. The only one of her mom's boyfriends, who hadn't been a complete jerk. He hadn't been with them for long, had left their life, Faith's life, as abruptly as he had entered it. For a long time she thought that she had been responsible for him leaving. Simple reason – because mommy had convinced her of it being her fault. In her mommy's eyes, everything bad that ever happened to them was Faith's fault.

As she got older, Faith had learned that this wasn't always the case. Never, in fact. But she had been kept in this believe for too long. Too long to see herself as anything but a failure.

That particular night, mommy had been angry at her once again. She couldn't remember what she had done, really not. But it was her fault anyway.

Ben – that was the name of the man that had come close to being something like a father to her within a very short time – had defended her, had protected her as best as he could.

Even if that resulted in...

"There is no way I'm letting her out of my sight!"

"Faith, go!"

Faith ran past Buffy, out of the corner of her eye seeing the blonde turning to follow her, and... "Don't you move a...," Angel grabbing a hold of Buffy, stopping her.

She scrambled up the stairs, knowing what was about to happen. Knowing what Ben...Angel was about to do.

She didn't turn around when she heard the all too familiar sound of knuckles connecting with the boney structure of a face. Once. Twice.

Silence.

She reached the door to Angel's office, opened it and stepped inside. Leaving the door open, she was looking down at the scene. Though she couldn't see anything...just heard the silence being disrupted by a soft, shocked, "I'm sorry," on Angel's part.

Stupid.

Why did he have to do this?

She hadn't been worth it twelve years ago. She wasn't worth it now.

Again this unpleasant feeling crept up inside her that any hurt caused to people around her was ultimately her fault. She had seen it.

Ben, taken away by the police that night, away from her, never to be seen again – because he had wanted to help her. She had no idea, who had called them. Her first watcher, ripped to pieces by Kakistos – because she hadn't been able to stop him. She had taken off and run for her life. Buffy and Angel, fighting – because she hadn't had enough guts to take off this time too or even better, get rid of herself for them once and for all.

"Faith?" A voice behind her asked. "Going somewhere?"

She turned her head. Wesley.

Her latest victim. One of the people, whose pain had really been her fault. Because she had inflicted it on him. Had wanted to make him hurt. Even if it was only part of a plan to reach her ultimate goal.

"No," she turned to stare back down at the stairs, not wanting to meet his eyes. "Just wanted to be alone."

She wanted...they wanted to be alone. Two people that had experienced both intended and the unintended pain caused by her.

"Angel downstairs?" She had tortured him for hours yesterday – he had to stand in for everyone who'd done her wrong in her life – her mother, several of her mother's boyfriends, her faux watcher…Wesley himself had just been a minimal factor in her rage. But how could this pitiable guy be talking so calm, neutral and businesslike to her now?

"Yeah." The big, stupid savior guy was down there, had picked up his conversation with Buffy again, as far as she could hear.

"Right."

She faced him again. Contrasting the neutrality of his voice, his face spoke volumes. What it said, she couldn't fully understand. It was not only contempt and bitterness. Some part of it was...concern?


to be continued...