I am at a loss for action. Nelyafinwe, eldest of the House of Feanor, my dearest brother, has been taken prisoner by Morgoth. Now he hangs chained from some desolate rock on Thangorodrim. Now the leadership of the Noldor passes to me. What am I to do now? Our people were victorious in the Battle under the Stars, and they look to the princes of the Noldor for guidance. I cannot in good conscience risk more lives to rescue him. I must now choose between being a brother and being a leader. A leader would leave Nelyafinwe to his fate, and look to the safety of his people. A brother would risk all to save him. How can I be both? Who can I look to for guidance? Not my brothers. They are as divided amongst themselves as I am. Findekano? I know what he would say. He would tell me to save my brother. He would risk all to save his closest friend. Truly I am alone in this choice.
I cannot save my brother. I cannot risk any more lives to save him. I do not come to this decision lightly. It will follow and torment me the rest of my days. I have tried to tell myself that this is what my brother would want: for me to act like a leader, not a frightened child seeking his elder brother's advice. It doesn't help. All I can think is that I have abandoned my dearest brother to a torturous death.
My brother has been returned to us. Findekano has done what none of Nelyafinwe's brothers dared. I could not feel more like a coward than at this moment. I had completely forsaken my brother, thinking it the action of a leader. Now I see that it was not; it was only the action of a fool unprepared for leadership. I must go to him now, and beg his forgiveness, even though I do not deserve it.
Nothing in my long years prepared me for the sight of Nelyafinwe after his imprisonment. He is but a shadow of the strong, fair Elda he once was. He is emaciated, and bears the marks of torture on his once fair body. What have I done? I should not have waited for Findekano to rescue him; I should have sent legions after my brother. All his pain is my doing, my foolishness. I fall to my knees beside my brother's bed, and clasp his remaining hand. I have to fight to keep my voice from cracking as I beg his forgiveness. Nelyafinwe looks at me first in confusion, then smiles. He tells me that he is glad to see me again. How can he be glad to see me, after what I did? I ask him this, and his response shocks me. Nelyafinwe tells me that his injuries are his own doing, not mine. My actions were correct in his eyes. I can only love my brother more for this. He is stronger than I could ever hope to be. Another Oath I will swear now. Never will my brother be alone in his actions again. If it leads to my death or destruction, so be it. I owe Nelyafinwe at least that much.
