Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters on the show! They belong to the brilliant Bruno Heller, CBS, and all the other people involved! This is a work of fiction, and I do not gain any profit from it whatsoever.
Chapter 1: Raining
Patrick Jane exited the interrogation room as another suspect had been proven guilty by none other than yours truly. Though he looked calm on the outside, it was not a surprise that deep down, his kettle of emotions was overflowing with anger. He quickly masked his anger with his 1000 watt smile as he headed out the door.
"Jane?" Teresa Lisbon asked him uneasily. "You alright?" she asked, putting a hand on his shoulder as he passed by.
Sliding on his jacket, Jane smiled at Lisbon and nodded saying, "When am I ever not alright?"
"Do you even want me to count?" Lisbon asked, motioning towards the side of his head that had been the receiving end to an out-of-the-park foul ball.
Jane shrugged it off as he continued on his was down the hall.
He quickly made it to the parking lot without any other questions from his colleagues. Now free to wander in his own mind, his thoughts quickly turned to the darker side of Patrick Jane. The side that hid deep beneath his skin, caged in by its scared owner. Revenge: The beast that Jane struggled to keep hidden from Lisbon; The beast that he struggled to keep hidden from himself. It tore at him like a wild animal. It tore at him where it hurt most. Best not to let anyone find out that the famous mentalist had a heart, for fear of having it broken once again, Jane had swore to himself the night he found his family murdered by Red John, that he would don a mask; A mask that could protect him from scrutiny and emotional pain. Just like his favourite superheroes, Jane would not take off the mask in public. The eyes of reality were harsh and unforgiving; judging him as they looked down upon him without pity. If his friends could ever see the pain he went through every day, they would avoid him. Scared to get in his way, they would try as hard as they could not to talk to him.
Your thoughts are not pure. What if you become so lost in your thirst for revenge, that you can no longer see the light? The voice in his head asked him this every day since the beginning of his "new life". The white walls of his locked room had taunted him worse than his dad ever had. The problem was that there were too many voices in his head to try and find the right and sensible one.
It couldn't be that bad of a thing to want revenge, reasoned a small voice in the back of his head.
If I take Red John with me, it's not a loss for anybody. It's more of a gain. He had tried to reason this with Lisbon, but she would not hear of it. Lisbon was always so stubborn. Couldn't anybody see that one less life was better than letting Red John continue his work?
Do you really hate yourself that much? Is it not enough that you blame yourself for their deaths? This time is was Lisbon's voice in his head. This question caught him off guard. Did he really hate himself? Was he willing to sacrifice his life in order to save others? Or was this some act of selfishness? Was this just some suicide mission so he wouldn't have to deal with the guilt of his actions?
The gears furiously turned in his mind as the rain began to pour down. It took Jane only a few seconds to realize that he had somehow ventured to his car and was standing with his hand on the door handle. He must have looked crazy standing in the pouring rain just outside his car. He quickly opened the door and shook the rain off his blonde head. It was only when he went to back up that he caught his reflection in the rear-view mirror. Jane jumped as he caught sight of his pale complexion, the eyes a dark blood red and his hair a deep brown. He looked closer this time, his head still spinning. Gazing at his reflection, he noticed that it did not seem human. In shock, he realized that this was the beast he had kept caged up for so long. This was the real Patrick Jane; the tormented soul that had been waiting to emerge for so long now. This is what frightened the mighty Patrick Jane. With a trembling hand, Jane reached up and touched the mirror to be sure it was real. When his finger connected, he quickly pulled away, shocked. Without warning, he angrily punched the mirror clean off. Looking at his side mirror's as he backed up, Jane noticed his reflection was back to its normal look, except for the pale complexion.
Going crazy are you? Keep this up and it will be back to the white walls for you.
Shaking the image out of his mind, Jane pulled out of the CBI parking lot and began the long drive home.
Slippery roads. Better be careful.
A/N: I'll be honest with you, I really don't know where this story is going to end. :P Sorry about that.. Oh and Jane does NOT have multiple personalities if you are wondering.. Nor is he a vampire. I'm sure lots of people have those little voices telling them what to do. Or maybe I'm just crazy!
Reviews are welcome, and constructive criticism too! (I might have made some typos, so I'm really sorry. If you find any, let me know!)
I'm sorry if this story sucked, I don't even know why I wrote this.. I'm not super committed to projects (as seen in my other story), so forgive me if I take a long time uploading the next chapter! I'll try to hurry.
If you make it this far: Thanks for reading!
