I do not own Bleach. If I did then Eminem would be rapping the intro AND it will be uncensored AND there will be hidden commercials on ramen in the actual anime. XD


He really needed a nice long relaxing walk. These last few months were tough on him. But it was pretty obvious he was trying to avoid his home at all cost.

Nobody could blame him.

He walked around his tenth division four times, taking extra long to greet people, taking extra small steps, and taking extra long to look at things.

Nobody was surprised.

"Shirou-chan!" called out Momo.

"Hinamori-fukutaicho," he greeted her formally.

"How's Karin-chan?" she asked him.

He wore a strangled smile "Well,"

They both wore awkward smiles; they both knew what that meant.

As for Momo, she really pitied Toushirou, having to go through life like this must have been tough. So she stopped him, and made conversation. So he would have a few more minutes to live, at least she was helping.

Toushirou sighed as Hinamori left. The event it was inevitable. He had to go home. He had ran out of reasons not to.

He walked very slowly up to his front porch, peeking at the windows before going in. It would have been very odd for anyone else, but not him.

He hoped Karin wasn't mad at him. Pregnancy was a whole new experience for him.

Like the hormones, oh god how he hated the hormones.

One minute Karin would be trying to seduce him, then the next, she would kick him out to the porch to spend the night, then she would cheerful and bright, then she wants to kill her self.

He was very confused that night.

Back to reality, he stood there, and waited and waited.

Then he opened the door; luckily nothing was in the living quarters except many different examples of Karin's laziness.

There was a squeak upstairs in his study.

He climbed up the stairs, his pulse quickening with each step.

He did not want to do this.

He opened the door.

And it looked as if no one was there, like one of those movies where the villain was sitting on that tall chair with it's back facing him. He knew what to expect at least.

The chair turned around.

It was Karin, instead of holding the white fluffy cat; she was holding her large swollen stomach.

She didn't look happy.

"Hitsugaya-taicho," she addressed him using his formal title. He gulped.

She walked from the seat, still holding her stomach, until she was circling him. He noted that she was barefoot.

"I want peaches," It was straightforward and right to the point. Peach season was ending.

"NOW!!" she bellowed that last word. It was as clear as day that she was a) unhappy b) craving something badly.

He scrambled out the door, and shunpoed all the way to the Rukongai market, and went to the first peach stand he saw.

The man was not very happy that a shinigami was at his stand for he didn't really like them, and this one was a captain. He had his haori after all.

Toushirou grabbed the guy's shirt and yelled "I have a pregnant fiancee waiting for me and she's gonna rip my head off if I don't get her some peaches!"

The guy was spooked.

A great shinigami captain whom he saw battling the arrancar, was begging him for peaches?

Oh and flying monkey vampires are gonna kill them all.

He gave him the peaches, all not the best quality.

He rushed away.

The fruit stand man just watched the young man fade away, "I know how you feel," he had his own wife to worry about.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!" shouted the wife from the back of the stand.

"Stuff," he called out afraid. He was going to die soon.

Meanwhile the captain had arrived at some other sort of trouble. The giant guarding the entrance to the soul society refused to let him enter.

"I am the captain of the tenth division Hitsugaya Toushirou, let me enter!" he cried.

"No." said the giant for he didn't understand big words like captain, or division, you can see the problem here.

Frustrated, the captain devised another plan to get in which required a very loud voice, which he had acquired over the years.

He was going to yell.

Not very like him but his brain was fuzzy. No sleep, and no break from paper work really broke him.

He wandered to a place in the wall that he knew was thin enough for his voice to pass. With a sigh he began.

"ANYBODY THERE!?" luckily someone heard him.

An unranked shinigami got him in, and was thanked, hastily.

Then Toushirou proceeded to rush to his house, where his doom lied.

Once he got to the study again, it looked just like before, with the chair's back to him. He half expected a trap door underneath his feet.

The chair turned slowly and Karin got up and snatched the peaches before he could do anything.

Then she turned sickly sweet.

"Only my little Shiro can get me peaches this fast!" she said giggling and patted his head.

His mouth dropped open. Her mood swings never ceased to amaze him.

"Only Shiro can get me them this fast," she said again, deliriously.

So that meant if he was ever kidnapped by, oh say shape-shifting monkeys from planet Wnfosjmr, and they all changed to him, his wife would be able to tell them apart from him by sending each and everyone of them to get peaches for her, ignoring all the variables of course, then this entire thing…

…would suck.

But suddenly, she turned angry.

"Toushrou, why aren't you at work?" she said angrily.

His mouth dropped open again. Wasn't she the one who was always insisting on spending 'family' time together?

She turned around, her face lined with anger, barely contained.

"Get. Out."

He ran away.

~Omake~

"AHHHH!! I'm going into labor!" she shouted.

Toushirou heard the earth as it broke "What?"

"You heard me! Get my clothes!" the baby was coming out a month early?!

When he got back dressed, a little drowsy, and carrying the bag that contained everything needed for a few days in the 4th division, she was standing there, giggling.

"Oopsy, false alarm, good night." and she went to bed,

If it wasn't for the fact that he was still drowsy, and holding a bag, he would have yelled. If it wasn't for the fact that people might become suspicious, he would have done something incredibly sickening to her.

But he didn't, instead he went to his office and slept there for the rest of the week.


another one-shot from yours truly Turtle-chan :D, i'm having writers block and am currently working out of it.

on a more random note...

...i read another holic by a person whose name is too long and too hard to remember, and it was awesome!!!!!!!!! (EPIC!!!!), xxxHolic is my favorite XDD

on an even more random note...

... ya know, i have more alerts than favs. i have 9 favs and a long list of alerts that i am not gonna count O_O

on a just plain creepy note...

... i finally changed my hammy's bedding, she should like it, it would be much warmer. and i'm having trouble cutting her nails... o.O

Reviews???