I enjoyed history, but I remember a time when it felt like a chore to watch and read the news. Thank you, Hidekaz Himaruya. Spelling/grammatical/historical facts/IC errors want to be corrected please. Now remember kids, this isn't crack because it's true.


Of Surfboarding and Drunk Japanese

So Japan was swimming off the coast of himself. I'd also like to mention that this part of the coast was forbidden to his people for being too dangerous. Pointy sharp rocks tended to be painful. It makes you wonder what part of this coast represents on Japan. You know, other than a coast. Thousands of crabs used to live here, but now Japan was treating for that.

Yum, seafood.

I should also mention that the man is drunk, and for the moment seemed to have no care for logical safety. Perhaps in his drunken state he felt he could brave the troubled waters. But it seemed he fooled himself, as he was sinking against his will into the ocean floor below. Everything seemed to be spinning into a darkness far beyond what his drunken consciousness would let him understand.

Well, this is embarrassing. He thought as he passed out from lack of air.

"Are you alright? Japan!"

He opened his eyes only to close them immediately. The sun was far too bright and it hurt his retinas. His body hurt everywhere. Everywhere. But he managed to notice he wasn't spinning anymore. That someone was looming over him. Pressing their hands onto his chest, and then pressing their lips onto him...

The shock drove Japan to sitting up and hacking the salty water from his lungs. The man pulled back from him, patting Japan's back with one large hand.

"There, there. All better now?"

His lungs were burning, he felt like he had been slapped by a gigantic Koi... But he was alive.

"Yes, thank you." Japan wiped his mouth with a sandy hand, causing sand to stick to his face. He then turned to meet his savior and met with branchlike eyebrows.

"I'm sorry, let me introduce myself." The man gave a nervous chuckle, raising up a hand. "The name's Australia."

Japan nodded as he took the hand to shake it. As cold as he was, he could feel the heat rising to his cheeks. This man saved his life.

"Hey, your shivering." Australia frowned. "Here you can take this-"

"Oh no, I couldn't-" Japan started but his southern friend had already unbuttoned his shirt and draped it around Japan.

"Common," he said as he tugged at Japan's hands, "let's find a place to clean up."

Japan couldn't move. Well, Australia thought Japan couldn't move. Japan didn't want to get up. He just wanted to continue staring at the lovely sand. Sand was just more interesting to look at then a more than half naked, wet, well tanned Australian. Australia saw Japan's face become more increasingly red and decided Japan must still be in pain.

"No trouble then." He scooped up a startled Japan. "Where should I take you?"

"S-S-Shimoda please." Japan managed to cough out. He had been swept from his feet by multiple counties before. Germany, England, America...

For once, this guy wasn't blond.

And he would probably know what a Echidna was.


Hundreds of people who have lived on a large island their entire lives are drowning to death. And it's not only because some never bothered to learn how to swim. Some are drunk, others don't care for rules, and the majority of lifesavers (in which there are hardly any) are inexperienced volunteers. FUN. So two real life major surfboarding Australians (from Maroochydore) have decided to help out decrease the number of dead Japanese. Their art tradition of saving people from waves goes back more than 100 years. Who better to help out? Thank you so much!

Side note: because of constant crab eating there are not many crustaceans walking around free on the beaches. Why, what did you think I was talking about?

Echidna depending on who you are talking to, would either be an eel or a spiny ant eater. UGH, A scientific animal joke! How low will I go?

Shimoda is where the Australians are teaching the Japanese proper lifesaving surfboarding skills.