Okay so these are just some ideas I had, I've got more but they'll come later, anyway I came up with these myself so I'm not sure if they're that good, though my friend said they were funny so I guess they're okay.

Lord of The Rings and everything Middle-Earth belongs to the genius named J.R.R. Tolkien, who is probably not happy with me for these but they're just harmless fun Mr Tolkien sir. I am not he so I own nothing, except the books and DVDs.

If I get something wrong from the book please excuse me but I've only read them twice, I think they're mainly film based anyway...

Another thing, Merry and Pippin do nearly all of them because I think they probably would...

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10 Ways to annoy the Fellowship. Which I am must do under no circumstances what-so ever:

1. Do not get Merry and Pippin hooked on Coffee/Caffeine so they stay up all night.

'Hey Pippin, what's that you're drinking?' asked his fellow hobbit and best friend; Meriadoc.

The Took shrugged 'Coffee,'

'Where'd you get it?'

Pippin drunk some more from his cup before answering 'authoress, want some?'

'Yeah,' said Merry, holding up his cup and allowing Pippin to pour him some.

The two hobbits had just finished their coffee when Gandalf called the Fellowship together and they set off again. Merry and Pippin, who were high on Caffeine, went along at a fast pace, singing songs they knew from the Shire and talking nonstop. The rest of their companions – well most of them anyway, Frodo was thinking of the task a-head of him – noticed this but refrained from commenting.

When night fell on Middle-Earth the company halted for the night Merry and Pippin still seemed rather active, chattering away non-stop, as they do.

'So I said to –'

The rest of the Fellowship – bar Legolas who had taken the first watch – settled for sleep however they were interrupted by the rather loud singing of two hobbits.

'Home is behind, the world a-head...'

'Merry, Pippin go to sleep,' said Aragorn firmly

'Ah but we're not tired,' protested the Brandybuck, sipping something from a cup.

A few hours later the rest of the Fellowship were ready to murder the two hobbits. Luckily however, the two were coming to the end of their coffee supply. Unfortunately they were now arguing over it and managed to send it flying everywhere.

'That was your fault you fool of a Took!'

'You liar that was completely down to you, you stupid –'

The two were interrupted by a very irate wizard 'PEREGRIN TOOK! MERIADOC BRANDYBUCK! WILL YOU BE QUIET!' Gandalf yelled, silencing the two hobbits immediately

'Yes Gandalf,' they said meekly

They were silent for the rest of the night, despite not being able to sleep due to the extensive amount of Caffeine they had had.

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2. I will not follow Legolas around singing 'Barbie Girl' non-stop

Legolas was walking near the back of the group, with only a few behind him, being Boromir and two hobbits, Merry and Pippin unfortunately for him. Their company was silent until Pippin's voice was heard right behind Legolas.

'I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie world!'

Then Merry joined in 'Life in plastic, it's fantastic!'

They continued on together getting higher and higher in volume until the blonde elf spun around to face the young hobbits.

'What on Middle-Earth are you singing? And why?'

They looked up at him innocently 'Barbie Girl,'

'Right...' said the elf, 'but why?'

They grinned at him 'Because you're BARBIE!' they said happily

'Who...?' asked the nonplussed elven prince of Mirkwood

Gandalf's voice was suddenly close 'It's a doll that young girls play with,' with that he conjured up a picture. Legolas was outraged

'I look nothing like that!' he scowled and stormed off and ended up walking next to Aragorn. Little did he know that two hobbits had followed him there, before he could say anything there came voices.

'That means Aragorn, is KEN!' This was accompanied by laughter, a lot of laughter. Aragorn spun and drew Narsil, pointing the blade at them he yelled 'Say that again you die!'

The hobbits' eyes widened.

Satisfied, Aragorn stalked a head leaving Legolas with the hobbits, who began 'I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie world, life in plastic, its fantastic!' again.

Legolas' mouth fell open, before he screamed and ran off, followed by a half laughing Merry and Pippin, who carried on 'You can brush my hair...'

Gandalf and the rest of the Fellowship laughed and Gandalf shook his head slowly 'Hobbits,'

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3. I must not stare at Boromir for a long while, then scream and back away yelling 'Sauron is possessing him, why can't you see it! Look at the eyes!

The Fellowship sat in a not very circular circle as they rested. Boromir felt eyes upon him and looked up to find that Legolas was staring at him intensely. Then suddenly the elves' eyes widened dramatically and he began backing away.

'Legolas...?' asked Boromir, confused

The elf yelled 'Sauron possesses him,' he pointed at the man of Gondor 'Why can't you see it,' he screamed at everyone else 'Look at the eyes!' he ran away still screaming.

The rest of the Fellowship watched him then turned back to face each other.

'That's why you never trust an elf,' said Gimli, amused.

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4. I cannot ask Gandalf if Dumbledore is his long lost brother.

Pippin and Gandalf were riding to Minas Tirith. Pippin looked up at the now white wizard. 'Gandalf...?' he asked

The wizard said nothing so Pippin spoke his name again, and again, and again about five hundred times, they had reached the white city before he answered. Gandalf got off Shadowfax and spoke. 'Yes Peregrin? You wanted to talk to me?'

'Yeah I did, um,' Pippin hesitated before speaking 'Is Albus Dumbledore your long lost younger brother?'

Gandalf frowned and shoved Pippin off the Lord of all horses.

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5. No matter how many times I ask, Aragorn will not sing 'I just can't wait to be king!'

Merry, who was feeling lonely after Pippin had left, skipped up to Aragorn. 'Hullo Merry,' said the heir of Isildur, who was standing with Legolas and Gimli.

'Strider...?' asked the hobbit hesitantly.

'What?'

'Will you sing "I just can't wait to be king"?'

Aragorn frowned at the hobbit 'Why would I sing that?'

'Because you're going to be king of Gondor hopefully one day and you're like Simba...'

'No Merry, I will not sing it,' Aragorn was resolute.

The hobbit frowned, 'confound it!' he thought.

The next day dawned swiftly in Rohan and one Meriadoc Brandybuck walked down the halls. He wasn't looking where he was going properly and crashed into someone.

Looking up he saw who it was 'Oh sorry Gimli,'

'That's alright laddie,' said the Dwarf, 'were you looking for someone or something?'

'Yes, I was looking for Strider or the Lord Aragorn I suppose I should now call him...'

'Ah,' Said Gimli 'He was in his room the last time I saw him.'

'Thanks Gimli,' Merry called to the dwarf, who had begun to walk away.

'Lord Aragorn?' Merry asked when he found him

Aragorn said nothing but turned to face the young hobbit

'Will you sing it now?'

Aragorn fixed the hopeful looking hobbit with a glare, but Merry did not quail.

'As I said to you yesterday, no I will not!' seizing the sheathed Narsil Aragorn strode out of the room.

Over the next week every time Merry saw Aragorn, he would ask the same question with the same answer and a few armed chases: Aragorn chasing Merry through Edoras (is that where they go in Rohan?) wielding Narsil.

Merry decided that it was not enough and so began to follow Aragorn around everywhere asking constantly.

'Will you sing it now?'

'No,'

'Now?'

'No!'

'Now?'

'NO!'

It got so much that Aragorn locked Merry in a cupboard in his room just to stop him. Merry of course, was not happy about this.

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6. I will not scream 'Ahh! Nazgul!' and point wildly in any direction while the Fellowship is trying to sleep, they are cranky when woken in the night...

The Fellowship was in Moria and Pippin had been given the first watch as a punishment for being, well Pippin. Needless to say, Pippin was bored in half an hour. He thought for something to entertain himself and remembered the black riders, it was impossible for them to be here...

Within minutes a plan strolled fully formed into the young Took's head. He grinned before jumping to his feet and screaming 'Ahh! BLACK RIDERS,' Then he just had to watch.

The whole of the Fellowship were roused at Pippin's cry and all sprung up. Boromir and Aragorn immediately drew their swords; Frodo and Sam did the same, but were slower; Gimli hefted his Axe and Gandalf, lifted his staff and light flooded the chamber containing Balin's Tomb. Merry however, had taken a single look at Pippin and remained where he was, giving his fellow hobbit a thumbs up.

Each other member of the Fellowship was looking around, trying to locate the said black riders. They all sat down in relief upon finding none, but Gandalf turned his attention to the two young hobbits who were trying to contain their laughter.

'Peregrin Took!' thundered the wizard and Pippin grew sober and looked frightened.

The rest of the Fellowship, catching on to what Pippin had done, glared at the youngest hobbit.

With the exception of the other hobbits; it seemed that Merry, Sam, and even Frodo after a moment of silence, found the whole thing terribly funny. Gandalf softened slightly but said 'Fool of a Took! Never leave him alone on a watch ever again!'

The elf, the dwarf and the two men heartily agreed, they needed their sleep and were not happy to have it interrupted...

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7. I will not borrow Gandalf's staff and try to fly on it; he gets annoyed and says it's not a broom.

A day out from Rivendell and the Fellowship had stopped for the night. Merry and Aragorn were the only two awake, the rest were sleeping. While Aragorn walked around Merry sat, not all that tired, but kind of bored, and he was thinking, he wondered if Gandalf's staff could fly...

Thinking that he'd test the theory out for himself, he got up quietly and crept toward the sleeping wizard...

A few minutes later he had it. He clambered on to it and pointed the end with his hands. He frowned when it didn't take off; it was magical after all surely it could –

'Oomph,' Merry toppled off the staff and it fell to the ground, the Brandybuck looked up at a very annoyed wizard 'Hey Gandalf,' he said with a smile.

Gandalf did not speak but snatched his staff from the ground glaring at the hobbit 'What on Middle-Earth were you doing?' he hissed

Merry frowned 'Your staff doesn't fly, will it only work for you?'

Gandalf's eyebrows rose, then he frowned, 'My staff is not a broom!'

'Then why does it look like one?' complained Merry 'I think it's awfully misleading of you!'

Gandalf glowered at the hobbit and stalked off.

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8. I will not take out life insurance on Frodo after weathertop.

After watching Frodo ride off with an elfin woman after being stabbed by the black rider the rest of the hobbits and Strider followed on foot.

As they walked, or rather ran to evade any riders. Pippin commented to Merry 'Maybe Frodo needs life insurance...'

Merry raised an eyebrow, 'Maybe he does Pip, maybe he does...'

Frodo had just awoken in Rivendell to find Gandalf, which pleased him, when the door opened and in came Sam, Merry and Pippin. Sam said nothing but Merry and Pippin strode over and Merry held some parchment.

'Hullo Frodo,' Said Pippin 'glad to see you're awake,'

'Good to see you two too, but what's that?' he asked, gesturing to the parchment

'Yeah, about that...' Merry handed it to him and backed away, as did Pippin, Gandalf regarded them suspiciously.

Frodo sat up straight in the bed and exclaimed 'Life insurance!'

'Yeah,' said Pippin cheerfully 'Boromir helped us set it up,' the young hobbits grinned and ran from the room.

Frodo was left behind, speechless, as were Gandalf and Samwise.

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9. I will not say that Bill is Sam's 'My little pony'

Merry saw how close Sam had become to Bill the pony and one day he had a strange notion about it. He laughed and then told Pippin, who fell over laughing his head off for about ten minutes. The next day they walked up to Sam who was with the pony.

'Hullo Sam,' they each bit their lip to stop their laughter, Pippin laughed, unable to hold it in and Sam looked confused.

'What's so funny?'

'Bill is your "my little pony" is he not?' said Merry also laughing

Sam was very afraid; clearly they were either drunk or had lost their minds.

The young hobbits then started singing 'My little pony—'

Frodo noticed and murmured to Sam 'What's with them?'

Sam looked at his master 'No idea, they just said Bill was a "my little pony" whatever that is...'

'Ah, I think I can help you with that...' said Frodo, who'd heard of the brand of toys when he had once visited his Brandybuck cousins, the girl ones anyway. With that he began to explain about My Little Ponies.

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10. Nor will I try to get him to say so.

'Go on Sam,' Merry pleaded

'Just say it once,' put in Pippin

'Please,' they asked in unison.

It was a week after the notion appeared to them and they had been asking Sam ever since with the same answer each time

'No,' he said again

'Blast,' said Pippin later, 'he'll never say it,'

'Have faith Pip, he might yet.

So they continued to ask for weeks, until they got bored.

Merry was wrong; Sam never said it.

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Okay, what was that like? Do tell me what you think of these ones, which was your favourite if you liked them?

Mine was 1 because I think that would be fun...

Can I ask that if you don't like it please don't flame but just put a small review saying you didn't really like it much, or just don't review at all...

Thanks for reading whether you liked or not.

S