TITLE: Padawan Crush
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid
E-MAIL: hlnkid@aol.com
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Pre-TPM, non-slash. (Obi is 13) Obi-Wan is crushed when his first love turns him down.
FEEDBACK: Always appreciated.
ARCHIVE: Please ask first.
MY WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.

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Padawan Crush
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Obi: Master, have you seen Padawan Robi recently?

Qui: No I haven't. Are you still chasing after older women?

Obi: She's 19, Master. I'm 13. What's the big deal? When you're in love, age makes no difference.

Qui: And I suppose she has the same feelings of love for you that you do for her.

Obi: Well, uh…kinda. Not really.

Qui: Obi-Wan.

Wui: Okay, she barely knows I exist. But still. She is just…WOW! I am gonna marry her some day.

Qui: Yes, I am sure you are. Don't you think you should make sure she actually knows who you are first?

Obi: Details, details.

Qui: Whatever you say, Padawan.

******

(The next day, Obi-Wan came running into the sparring gym. He was late for his session with Master Qui-Gon, but he seemed to be more distressed about something else. Panting and out of breath, he ran to stand in front of his teacher.)

Qui: Obi-Wan, you are late. Would you care to explain why?

Obi: Thor.

Qui: What?

Obi: Thor. That's his name. You know, like the God of Thunder or something? Thor.

Qui: Thor is why you are late?

Obi: Yes.

Qui: Could you give me just a little more information? Like who is Thor and why is he interfering with your training schedule?

Obi: She gave me up for him, Master. How could she do that? I am so much better for her than…him. Gah! This makes me sick. You should have seen them, hanging all over each other. It was disgusting.

Qui: Obi-Wan, WHAT are you talking about?

Obi: Robi! She left me for Thor!

Qui: How could she leave you if she didn't even know you were alive?

Obi: That is NOT the point. She knew I loved her, then she did…this. How cruel. A knife to the heart. Women. Who can figure them?

Qui: You are 13, the last thing on your mind right now should be women. Focus yourself, Padawan. You can vent your frustrations later.

Obi: But…Thor? What kind of name is Thor? Thor. Thor. Thoooooooor. Hee hee. HAHAHAHAHHHHHAAHHHAH!!! Thor! HAHHAAHAHAHHAAHAH! Oh, that's funny.

Qui: Padawan, do not be quick to judge others names. Just listen to your own. Obi. What is an Obi anyway?

Obi: My name evokes power and courage. Thor is just…weird. I wonder if he's a padawan.

Qui: If so, I would bet that his master's name is Apollo.

Obi: HA HA! You're a funny guy, Master.

Qui: I do have my moments.

Obi: Yeah, well that was not one of them.

Qui: Oh by the way, I bought a brand new role of duct tape. I am willing to try it out on you, if you can't watch the back talk.

Obi: Sorry. I am just so frustrated with this. How could she do this to me of all people? I have been in love with her since I first met her one month ago.

Qui: Yes, that does sound like true love.

Obi: Have you ever been in love, Master? Do you have any clue as to what I am talking about? No, I would think not.

Qui: I have been in love and I am in love. Why do you think I spend so much time with Master Bren?

Obi: To get away from me.

Qui: True. But there are other reasons besides the need to escape my apprentice.

Obi: That is what I feel towards Robi. And she rejects me.

Qui: Have you told her how you feel?

Obi: No way! I can't say anything like that to a girl.

Qui: Then how will she know you love her.

Obi: She should know, Master. I follow her around enough and leave gifts and flowers for her.

Qui: You've been stalking her haven't you?

Obi: Master! No. Stalking is such an evil term. I prefer to say I've been shadowing her. Sounds more poetic.

Qui: Well, put your tongue back in your mouth, because here she comes. Would that be Thor attached to her arm?

Obi: Sith! Yes, that's him.

Qui: Watch your mouth please. Remember I have duct tape an I am not afraid to use it.

Obi: Sorry. Look how he walks. Strutting himself around like that. He think he's some kind of knight or something?

Qui: Well. I don't see a braid.

Obi: NO! He's…there is no way. She's dating a knight? That…that's just wrong.

Qui: I think he's a young knight. Perhaps you should introduce yourself?

Obi: Yeah, right.

Qui: You'd better do something, because they are coming this way.

Obi: Sith!

Qui: Obi-Wan!

Obi: Sorry. Hide me. Do something.

Qui: Hide you? Where? In my robe?

Obi: It's big enough.

Qui: Sorry, Padawan. You have to face this head on.

(Thor and Robi approached the pair. Each bowing slightly to the tall master. Robi winked at Obi-Wan.)

Robi: Hi Obi. I want you to meet my future husband, Thor.

Qui: It's good to meet you, Thor. I am Qui-Gon Jinn. This is my apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Thor: Thank you, Master Jinn. Obi-Wan.

Obi: Hi.

Robi: Thor is a knight Obi. Just passed his trials a couple weeks ago. Then I met him.

Obi: I'll be a knight soon.

Qui: Yes, in about 12 years.

Obi: Maybe sooner, you never know.

Qui: I am the one training you. Trust me, you'll be an apprentice at least until you are 25.

Obi: Thank you for the confidence boost, Master.

Robi: Thor is 21. He's young for a knight. But he was ready. And I just love him to death.

Obi: That's nice.

Robi: Don't worry, Obi, you'll find someone soon. Will you come to our wedding?

Obi: When is it, tomorrow?

Robi: You're so cute. No, when I become a knight. I can't let it interfere with my training now, can I?

Obi: I suppose not. Would you excuse me please. I have to use the facilities.

Robi: Certainly. Nice to see you both again. Master Jinn.

Thor: Good to meet you both.

Qui: You as well. Obi-Wan?

Robi: He just ran off towards the changing room. Good day, Master Jinn.

Qui: To you as well.

(Qui-Gon headed in the direction where his student had gone. He found him hugging the toilet in one of the stalls.)

Qui: What is wrong with you?

Obi: That scene out there. Did you see that? That made me sick. She was giving him goo goo eyes the whole time. I had to get out of there before I lost it in front of them.

Qui: Get up please. You are fine. Keep this up and your next session with Nev will come sooner than later. I mean it, Padawan. Get up. We have a training lesson to attend.

Obi: Why Master Bren loves you I have no idea. Do you treat her like you treat me? I certainly hope not. Would you grab her by the arm and yank her off the floor if she was throwing up? No, I think not. You would coddle her until she was better. Me? I just get thrown into a sparring session after losing what lunch I actually was able to eat. I can tell you care about me a great deal.

Qui: Obi-Wan, let's not go there. I will not be drawn into a mush discussion with you because you can't accept the fact that a girl who barely speaks to you, has fallen for another man. Consider this a lesson in life. Deal with it and move on. Now if you don't mind, I would like to get this sparring session over with. I have a date tonight.

Obi: With who?

Qui: Who do you think?

Obi: As long as it's not Thor.

Qui: I just have to figure out what to do with you while I am gone this evening.

Obi: Don't leave me with Master Brazo. He feeds me strange and scary food. And don't leave me with Master Yoda. He'll make me watch the wedding holo.

Qui: How about Master Sio?

Obi: She's a nutcase. Collecting doll heads and putting them on her mantle. Do you really want me to stay with her?

Qui: No, maybe not. Well, I can't leave you alone. The last time I did that, you dyed your hair green and took a joy ride in Mace's Purple Plum speeder.

Obi: Passion Purple.

Qui: Right.

Obi: So, what will you do with me then?

Qui: As much as I hate to do this, and I know Bren will kill me, I think I'd better take you with us.

Obi: YES!!!

Qui: Don't get to happy yet. You will not say a word unless spoken to, AND if you say the word 'mush' one time, I will not hesitate to tie you to the chair, tape your mouth shut and put you in the corner. Understand?

Obi: That's a bit harsh, Master.

Qui: Read my lips. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

Obi: Yes, Master…I guess.

Qui: You are not making this easy, do you know that?

Obi: Life with me is not easy. You of all people should know that by now.

Qui: I do, but I was hoping this was all just a dream. A very bad dream.

Obi: You love me, just admit it.

Qui: Can we go spar now? Would you mind?

Obi: Sure we can. You're the teacher after all.

Qui: I wonder about that sometimes.

*********

(Later that day, as the sun began its descent over the planet. Qui-Gon was readying for his date. Talking to himself in the mirror.)

Qui: She won't be able to resist me! I am the man!

(A young voice from the other room brought him out of his mood.)

Obi: Master?

Qui: Damn! Yes Padawan?

Obi: Should I wear my brown pants or my beige?

Qui: Whichever you like, Padawan.

Obi: But I want to look GOOD.

Qui: Obi-Wan, you are just along for the ride. No one cares what you look like.

Obi: Thank you, Master. I appreciate that.

(Obi-Wan started singing as he picked out his tunic for the evening.)

Obi: All you need is mush! La la lalala. All you need is mush. La la lalala. All you need is mush, mush. Mush is all you need. Mush is all you need. Mush is all you need.

(Pushing open the door to the boy's bedroom, Qui-Gon shook his head at what he found. Obi-Wan was decked out in his best tunic, new belt and boots, had cleaned his saber hilt and even washed out his braid.)

Qui: By the Force. You actually took a shower!

Obi: All you need is…huh? Oh yes. I did. This is a special night. I thought it deserved a fresh smelling Obi.

Qui: What are you singing?

Obi: All You Need is Mush. It's a song by The Ringo's.

Qui: And what did I tell you about the word mush?

Obi: If I remember correctly, you said I couldn't say that word while we were out. We have yet to leave. Correct?

Qui: I am definitely packing my duct tape.

Obi: But you said…

Qui: Yes, Padawan, sing all you like here. Once we leave that door, I want silence.

Obi: Yes, Master.

(The door chime sounded, Master Bren Anders entered the apartment.)

Bren: Hi guys! Stretch. Kid. You ready?

Obi: I sure am.

Bren: What?

Qui: Sorry Bren, I couldn't find anyone to watch him. So, I have to bring him along.

Bren: You are kidding me, right?

Qui: No, I'm not. I'm sorry. I promise you that he will NOT be a problem. Right, Obi-Wan?

Obi: Sure thing, Master. Whatever you say.

Bren: Yeah, that sounds convincing.

Qui: He has other things on his mind anyway. He's been dumped for a knight named Thor.

Bren: Huh?

Obi: Padawan Robi left me for Knight Thor. I haven't been in my right mind all day long.

Bren: Are you ever?

Obi: Well, not really. But this has been devastating to my psyche.

Bren: I didn't realize you and Padawan Robi had become so close.

Obi: Well, we hadn't…yet.

Qui: She doesn't know he exists.

Bren: Okay. I really don't need to know anymore, do I?

Qui: I don't think so. But he's agreed to behave. And I think we are ready to go. Shall we?

(Bren encircled her hand around Qui-Gon's arm and they headed out the door. Obi-Wan following. Seating themselves in the transport, Qui-Gon gave instructions for the pilot to drop them at Coruscant's hippest restaurant, Neeson Blue's. The padawan was not happy and expressed this when they departed the ship.)

Obi: Master, can't we go to McNev's instead? Neeson Blue's is so upper crust. I don't fit in with these people.

Qui: Tough. We are not going to McNev's. Not after the show you put on last time. We are dining here this evening. If you don't like it, you are welcome to spend the next couple hours sulking in the 'fresher. Would you like to do that?

Obi: No.

Qui: Good. Then behave and enjoy the quietness of the evening.

Bren: I love this place, Qui. The owner, I met him once. Tall, Irish, dark hair, crazy blue eyes, he's just…I can't explain it…he…

Qui: Excuse me?

Bren: What? Oh, sorry. I was lost there for a minute. Shall we go in?

Obi: Look at the line. We'll never get a table here.

Qui: Let me see how long the wait is.

(Qui-Gon came back a few minutes later.)

Qui: It's okay. Only about an hour wait. Obi-Wan, why don't you go play in the street. Bren and I want some time alone.

Obi: Um, okay.

Qui: But stay clean.

Bren: I'll forgive you for bringing him, if you promise to make it up to me.

Qui: Yes, in what way?

Bren: Well, how about you and I…

Obi: MASTER!!!!!!!!!!!

Bren: SITH!

Qui: Obi-Wan, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Obi: Robi is here…with…with…HIM.

Bren: Wait a minute, HIM died a long time ago in the river.

Obi: No, not HIM, your former boss. HIM as in Thor.

Bren: Whew. Don't do that to me kid. My heart can't take that kid of shock.

Obi: Sorry. Look over there. Their faces are locked together. Nasty. What does she see in him? I am so much better for her.

Qui: Yes, if only you weren't 13.

Obi: When it's a love like ours, age matters not.

Qui: The love is usually better if both parties are interested.

Obi: She will be mine.

Bren: I see the hormones have kicked in.

Qui: And this is why I don't want children of my own.

***********

(When they were finally called to be seated, Obi-Wan sprinted to the table and quickly began to flip through the menu.)

Qui: What would you like, Padawan?

Obi: Something that I won't throw back up. Why do they have to be at that table? Can't they put them in another room. I think they need one to themselves.

(2 tables down, Robi and Thor had just been seated. They were still unable to take their hands off each other.)

Bren: I don't know. But, Qui, you could certainly learn something from them.

Obi: Ewwwwwwwww. Stop it. No weird adult mush talk while I am conscious.

Qui: What did I tell you about that word? I don't want to hear it.

Obi: Oh, right. No mush. I forgot. Can we just eat so we can leave?

Bren: I am so glad you brought him along.

Qui: That wouldn't be sarcasm in your voice would it?

Bren: What ever gave you that idea?

Qui: Obi-Wan, decide what you want, and then sit QUIETLY.

Obi: I want the Cheeken Kay-sa-dill-ee-as. And the Japaloe peppers.

Qui: The what?

Bren: He means the Cheeken Quesadillas and the Jalapenos.

Obi: That's what I said.

Qui: Padawan, Jalapeno peppers are very hot. I think you should try something less lethal. Something chewy. It will keep your mouth busy so you can't talk out of it.

Bren: Good idea, Qui.

Obi: Very funny, Master. Okay, I'll take the JuJu Bee Soup.

Bren: Good choice kid. That will keep you busy for hours.

Obi: And the Te-kill-ya Lima Cheeken.

Bren: Tequila Lime Cheeken. Geez, Qui, get the kid in some foreign language classes before he insults the entire populations of other planets.

(The waiter arrived to take their order, then they sat to wait. The entire time, Obi-Wan could not take his eyes off the table where Robi and Thor sat.)

Qui: Padawan, don't stare. It's not polite.

Bren: He's cute, Obi. You should be happy for her to have found someone.

Obi: But I found her first. Then HE comes on the scene. Where is her master anyway? Does he know what she is doing?

Qui: I don't believe that is any of your business.

Bren: Qui, how come you don't show that type of affection towards me?

Obi: Oh Force. Not again. Do I have to listen to this?

Qui: Because every time I turn around, my nosey padawan is there, watching me. I fear we won't have any real time to ourselves until he becomes a knight.

Bren: That may never happen.

Obi: Oh, that is just disgusting. Look at that display of…GAH! It's a good thing I haven't eaten yet. This is getting as bad as the Yoda/Yaddle thing.

Bren: Don't EVEN compare those two kid. And spare me images of the trolls right now. This is supposed to be a relaxing evening. No troll talk.

(The meal arrived. It wasn't long before Obi-Wan was spitting his food all over the table after he made the mistake of watching Robi and Thor together while he was trying to eat.)

Qui: OBI-WAN!!!!

(The entire restaurant turned to stare at the big master.)

Bren: Tone it down a notch, Qui. Everyone is looking at you.

Qui: Obi-Wan. What is wrong with you? Clean that up. We can't have half chewed JuJu Bees lying all over the table.

Bren: Yes, this is a lovely evening so far, Qui. I can't thank you enough for this.

Qui: I will make this up to you. I swear.

Bren: Sure you will. When the kid has passed his trials and has taken a padawan of his own. I don't know if…whoa!

Qui: Huh?

Bren: There he is. The owner of this place. Oh my. He's even more dashing in person. Look at that face! Those eyes. Now THAT is perfection.

Qui: Who? THAT? Look at his nose. You call that perfect?

Obi: Master, your nose if all bent up like that too.

Qui: Yes, I know that. But only because you hit me with your saber hilt in our first sparring session.

Bren: So THAT is how it happened. I was wondering how your nose ended up like that. Oh, he's coming this way. Look at how he walks. Ahhhhhhh.

Obi: Master, I think you're gonna lose her. Just like I lost Robi. Mr. Neeson is Master Bren's Thor.

Qui: She'd never leave me for him. Right, Bren?

Bren: Did you say something, Master Jinn?

Qui: Master Jinn? Uh, waiter, could you get us a pitcher of cold water please? Quickly!

Bren: He's…oh…I think…

(Mr. Neeson approached the table and held out a hand to Bren.)

Bren: Me? (He nodded.)

(Bren got up, took his hand and allowed him to escort her away.)

Qui: Um…Bren? Where are you going? Hello?

Obi: She found her Thor, Master. Now you know how I feel. Rejected and alone. So very alone.

Qui: But…she…she left me. This can't happen.

Obi: It can, and it did. Just you and me now. Two guys against the world. Fending for ourselves.

Qui: This is all your fault. If you weren't such a pain in the butt, this would have been a quiet evening, just me and Bren. But no, you had to stick your nose into things. Just like you always do.

Obi: It's my fault that you took me as a padawan? I didn't ask you to, you just did. And now we are stuck with each other.

Qui: No, I didn't just take you. Yoda did this. He was saving you for me. Forced me to take you. That little troll.

Obi: So you don't want me?

Qui: No, no. That's not true. I do want you as my padawan. I do. But, she left me.

Obi: You said that already. At least they aren't on display like Robi and Thor. Look at them. Still slobbering all over each other. Did they even bother to eat their dinner? No. Let's go home, Master. Get away from all this. Women. Who needs 'em?

Qui: I do.

Obi: Me too.

Qui: Okay, let me pay the bill and then you and I will go take in a holo-vid or something.

Obi: Lima has a new one out called The Phantom Musher.

Qui: Lima it is!

Obi: I'll leave Robi and Thor to slobber in private.

************

(The next morning, Qui-Gon and his padawan wandered down to the dining hall for breakfast. Master Bren sat alone at a table near the window. They approached her.)

Qui: Bren.

Bren: Hi, Stretch. Obi.

Qui: How was your date with Mr. Neeson?

Bren: The greatest night of my life.

Qui: Really?

Bren: You have no idea.

Qui: Well, I'm glad you found someone to be happy with.

Bren: Yeah. But, I'm not happy.

Qui: No?

Bren: No. As much as I hate to admit this. I miss you. And that chatterbox shadow that follows you around.

Qui: I see.

Bren: You two have grown on me. Will you take me back?

Qui: Well…I don't know. What do you think, Padawan?

Obi: She's one of the few who can put up with me. I think you better take her back.

Qui: Obi-Wan says yes, so welcome back.

(She jumped up and hugged them both, then turned her attention towards another table where Padawan Robi also sat alone.)

Bren: Obi, you may want to look right over there.

Obi: Robi! And she's all alone. My poor Robi. I should go see to her.

Qui: Obi-Wan, I don't think…

Bren: Let him go, Qui. We can sneak away while he's busy.

Qui: Oh yes. You are always thinking aren't you?

Bren: Someone in this family has to think once in a while. He's gone. Let's go.

(Obi-Wan strolled up to Robi's table. A bit to cocky for his own good.)

Obi: Hi, Robi. So, he dumped you huh?

Robi: What?

Obi: The mighty Thor. He just used you up and spit you out. It wasn't true love anyway. I know true love when I see it. What you and I have…now THAT is forever. He just didn't understand the power I held over you. So young and so vulnerable. He'll need to do better than that if he's to make a great master someday. How about you and I going out tonight?

Robi: What are you talking about? Thor didn't dump me. He just went to get us some food. He's over there in line. See?

Obi: Oh, uh. Yes. I see him…now. Okay, well…I have a sparring session to get to. I'll talk to you later. Bye.

(The boy began speed-walking out the door. Once he got out of sight, he took off towards home. Hurrying through the door, he stopped in his tracks.)

Obi: Master! Oh, um. Uh…sorry.

(Qui-Gon and Bren had been snuggling on the couch. When Obi-Wan came bursting in, they both gave him the stare.)

Qui: Can I help you, Padawan?

Obi: No, master. I think I'll just go in my room. It's nothing that can't wait. I'll uh…be in here if you need me. (He rushed into his bedroom.)

Bren: He has impeccable timing. I would guess that the talk with Padawan Robi didn't go well.

Qui: I should probably go find out. His journey to knighthood is going to give me a heart condition. I'll be back.

(Qui-Gon knocked on his padawans door and let himself in. Obi-Wan was busy using his saber to slice up all the holo's he had of Padawan Robi.)

Qui: So, it's officially over between you two?

Obi: She let me make a fool of myself all these days, for what? So she could laugh in my face and flaunt Thor in front of me. I am done with her. Done with all women. That's it! Done! Gone! Goodbye!

Qui: I'm sure you'll change your tune eventually. You have to be less pathetic, Obi-Wan. Don't look so desperate. It will happen for you.

Obi: Whatever you say, Master.

Bren: Hey guys. Hi Obi. You okay?

Obi: Not really, but I'll live.

Bren: Good. Because Robi is here to see you.

Obi: REALLY????? Me???

Bren: Yes.

(Obi-Wan ran out the door and found Robi alone standing in the common area.)

Obi: Hi Robi! Come to take me back? Make our commitment final?

Robi: No, I came to make sure you were okay. You ran off so fast. Thor and I are heading out for the day. But I wanted to check on you first.

Obi: Oh yeah. Just great. Just throw me out like a dead fish. Sorry I can't compare to the amazing Thor! I can only be me. Obi. So you take your little Thor and you two be happy together. Go on now! Get out! Go away!

Robi: Okay. Bye, Obi.

Bren: That went well. Good for you kid. You are putting this behind you, finally.

Obi: Not really. I just said that to make her leave so I can follow her without being noticed. This is not over. She is mine.

Bren: Okay. Great. Well you run along and have fun now.

Qui: Yes, have a good time, Obi-Wan. I'll see you later this evening.

Bren: And please KNOCK before you come back in.

Ob: But I live here.

Qui: Go, Obi-Wan. Chase Robi around the planet if you like. Just don't hurt yourself.

Obi: Maybe she'll go for the sexy Obi look!

Qui: Keep your shirt on. No one wants to see your scrawny, pale little body.

Bren: And besides you might scare her off.

Obi: Good point. Okay. Here I go. Wish me luck.

Qui: Good luck. Get out.

Obi: I can feel the love.

Qui: Obi-Wan!

Obi: I'm leaving, I'm leaving. Beware Robi. Obi is on the loose. (And he took off out the door.)

Bren: He's so odd. But it wouldn't be the same without him around.

Qui: True, but it would be a lot quieter. Now, where were we?

END



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