Title: Cover Me
Pairing,Character(s): Puck/Rachel
Rating: T
Word Count: 13709
Summary: A/U, of course. Angst and hope, mourning and living, and learning how to move through it gracefully. A lost relic finds a new home, and quality sleep is had by Puckleberry. I know that makes no sense, but it will. My take on Military!Puck, and NYC!Rachel. Originally started as a writing exercise, but I heard "You'll Be Okay" by A Great Big World, and this happened. Set pretty much directly after "The End of Twerk." Any continuity errors are the result of the fact I haven't actually watched consistently since Season Two...
A.N.: This is totally me "Glee"fully thumbing my nose at Glee 100, and at every spoiler I've seen and read for this season and the next (and final) one...Oops? Scandal shout-out as well. Because it worked.
Passages in italics are flashbacks, sentences in italics amid regular text are internal monologue.
Disclaimer: I am not in any way versed in military jargon – just Googling and asking my Discovery and History and Military Channel watching husband. No harm meant, and if anyone wants to correct me, please feel free to send me a message.
Will Schuester rubbed a hand over his mouth, staring down at the table.
His wife slipped an arm around his waist. "Will, you have to. It's time." Emma kissed his shoulder. "Call them. One of them. At least."
Will sighed. "I know. I know. I just...I almost feel like it's unfair to bring it up now, it's been so long."
Emma nudged him gently. "It's been three months. I somehow doubt it's that distant for any of them, either."
He stroked a hand down the sleeve of Finn's letterman jacket. "No. I don't think it is."
Rachel Berry kicked off her heels as she entered the apartment, staring at the wall for a beat before continuing to the kitchen. "Kurt? Santana?" She reached for the refrigerator door and sighed as she spotted the note.
San and I picked up shifts at the diner while you were at rehearsal, sorry. Catch you tomorrow. - K
"That answers that," she murmured. She grabbed a bottle of water and threw herself onto the couch.
"Caaaan anybody find me somebody to love…"
"Mr. Schue?" She fumbled for her phone in her purse. "Hello?"
Will swallowed hard. "Hi, Rachel, it's -"
"Mr. Schue, I know." She frowned. "Is everything all right? Is it the Glee club?"
"Rachel...I - I need to…" He cleared his throat. "I need to return something to you and Kurt, if...if that's all right."
"Return something?" Her frown deepened, while her heart started to race. "I - I'm not quite sure what -"
"I - I have the jacket, Rachel." Will shuddered under Emma's hand. "I'm - I'm so sorry...I have it, I -"
Rachel caught her breath on a sob. Oh my – of course..."I - it's -" She shook her head. "Just...do you have our address?"
Will sighed and nodded. "It'll be there tomorrow."
Rachel hung up the phone and hugged her knees to her chest, her fingertips stroking over the tattoo on her side.
Kurt folded his arms as they stared down at the box on the table Friday afternoon. "Rachel, Mr. Schue gave this to us, I don't understand why -"
Rachel trailed reverent palms down the leather. "Because we both know someone who needs this more than we do, Kurt." She gazed at the familiar red and faded white, tracing the M lightly. "I know you didn't see him or hear from him, but…" She took a deep breath. "You and I, even Santana…" She swallowed hard. Sorry, Santana, I will accept responsibility, this is too important to have to trust you to agree..."We at least have each other. He doesn't have anyone, not really." She inhaled shakily. "He had Finn."
Kurt bit his lip and nodded. "Only because I think Finn would have wanted it that way." He sighed. "I'm meeting up with Starchild in twenty minutes – please, help me – and while Santana might not agree, she won't even know if she's working all day." He quirked a brow. "You okay taking care of this?"
Rachel laughed lightly. "Not a problem. Not at all."
Noah Puckerman made his bed with military precision, smirking at the result. "If those losers could see me now…" He considered his reflection and smoothed his hands over his closely shorn head. "I make this look good."
"Ohhh, Sweet Caroline…"
The hell? Puck lunged for his phone. "Rachel?"
"Noah."
Puck knocked at the door. "Rachel? You awake? Your dads let me in."
Rachel blinked at the door from her bed. "Noah?"
Hiram patted Puck's shoulder. "Go on in, Noah."
Puck swallowed hard and opened the door.
"How - how are you?" Puck sat down, his shoulders dropping as he curled closer to the phone. "You okay?"
"I -" She exhaled roughly, falling back onto her bed. "I'm feeling more...human."
"That's good, Rach," he said, smiling. "That's awesome."
"Rachel?" He stepped inside. "I don't - I don't want to bother you, I can -"
She sat up, brushing the covers aside. "I wasn't sleeping," she said quietly.
"I don't either," he whispered.
Rachel's breath hitched and he crossed the room to gather her in his arms.
"I started a band," Rachel offered. "Well, Kurt started a band, but I named it."
"You did? Lemme guess, Barbra Streisand's Rainbow Brigade?" Puck smirked.
She laughed, clapping a hand over her mouth as the sound startled her. "Noah..."
He exhaled roughly. "I missed that."
Rachel frowned quizzically. "Missed..."
Your laugh. "Hearing you say Noah. It's all Puckerman here, or Puck." He chuckled. "Not my fault. Least I respond to it, right?"
She flushed, ducking her head. "I would have called, Noah, but -"
"Rachel, relax. I just got my full phone privileges anyway." He smirked. "Now I get to lay hands on a real helicopter."
"I'm proud of you, Noah." She swallowed. "He would be too..."
Puck tucked her head under his chin, wrapping himself around her shaking frame.
Rachel fisted her hands in his jacket, pulling him tighter to her. "Noah..."
"I know, Rachel." He swallowed against his tears. "Damn it."
"Noah?" She lifted her head to look at him, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "Oh, Noah..." She cupped his cheek in her hand.
The silence stretched on the line.
"Rachel? You okay?" Puck closed his eyes, pressing a fist to his forehead.
Rachel shook herself. "I - I'm actually calling because I - I have something I want you to have. I don't know how to mail something this big to you, though. Definitely larger than a letter. Is it the same thing?"
He frowned at the slight quaver in her voice. "You don't - you don't have to send me anything here, I'll be back in Lima in a month, probably."
"I - I want you to have it as soon as you can, actually." She cleared her throat. "You, um...you should have had it three months ago."
"Don't," he whispered. "I - I don't want to -"
She shook her head. "I don't either, but I just…" She sniffled. "I almost didn't come back," she admitted.
"I know." He shrugged. "I wouldn't blame you."
"And I wouldn't blame you if you…" She brushed her thumb over his cheek. "I won't tell anyone you were less than a badass."
Puck dropped his head into her hair and let the tears flow.
"You - you found it?" Puck whispered.
"It - Mr. Schue," Rachel replied softly. "He said - he said he needed it, and…" She sighed. "I actually think he did. But he sent it to me and Kurt."
He exhaled roughly. "Rachel...you don't -"
"I know," she interrupted gently. "Kurt and I already discussed it, Noah. We...we agree." She swallowed hard and smiled sadly. "It's what Finn would have wanted."
Puck shook in her embrace. "I'm sorry, Rachel, I didn't - I was the one who dug up the tree."
"The tree?" She squeezed her eyes shut. "The memorial tree. Kurt told me someone stole it, I thought for sure it was Sue."
Puck shook his head, his tears finally slowing. "I didn't mean to ruin it, I just -" He shuddered. "No one...no one let me...He was it, you know? He was my family."
Rachel wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. "I know. So did he." She sniffled again. "He did, Noah, even if they - if the rest of them -" She swallowed hard. "You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting a part of him to hold on to," she choked out.
Puck tipped her chin up, shrugging his way out of his leather jacket. "Your turn," he managed hoarsely.
Rachel gave a harsh sob and buried her face in his chest.
Puck blew out a breath. "If - if you're sure, I - Rach, I would be honored to have it."
Rachel flinched. "How about - how about temporary custody?"
Puck smacked himself in the forehead. "Of course, I couldn't take it away from you and from Kurt, just - you can forget it, really, I'm cool."
Rachel rubbed a hand over her eyes. "Noah, stop it. I just - someday, we'll want it back. But right now, I think...it belongs with you." She pursed her lips. "Joint custody, then. How's that?"
"Still more than anyone else was willing to give me," he whispered. "Thank you, Rachel."
She let the tears slide down her cheeks. "You don't have to thank me. I should be thanking you."
Rachel cried as though the tears would never end, a cascade unlike any since the night she'd heard Finn died pouring from her.
"Shhh, just let it go," Puck whispered. "Let it out."
Hiram paused in the doorway, the sounds of his daughter's anguish pulling him. "Rachel?"
She sniffled, swiping at her eyes and nose. "Dad?"
"Do you need me? Do you want Noah to go?"
"No!" She clutched the startled boy in question harder. "I think he's the only one I can stand to see."
Hiram nodded. "But if either of you needs me..."
"I know, Dad, thank you." Rachel took a shaky breath. "Noah is taking care of me."
Hiram nodded again and left them.
"No, you don't," Puck countered. "Not ever with me."
Rachel gave a watery smile. "All the more reason, Noah." She sniffled.
He listened to her breathe for a moment, the hitching in each inhale tearing at him. "Rachel?"
"I - it's - " She pressed a hand to her chest. "Today it's a little sharper. The ache."
"I feel...hollow, Noah, just - there's nothing left in me." Rachel exhaled roughly.
Puck shook his head. "You've got a whole world in New York City, Rachel, you know that. This was...he'd be so pissed at himself, he wouldn't want you to stop living."
"He wouldn't want you to feel bad either, Noah, or to punish yourself." She shook her head. "A fluke, the doctors said. An aneurysm." She let out another sob. "When he enlisted...I thought that was my nightmare. But to just...He was playing basketball, Noah, who could have known…"
"I should've," he whispered harshly. "I should've known something wasn't right."
"You're not a doctor, Noah, or a psychic." She frowned angrily. "If even the Army didn't catch anything wrong…"
"I'm going to enlist. For him." Puck swallowed hard and looked down at the brunette in his arms. "I'm going to be better. I'm going to be somebody."
Rachel blinked up at him. "Noah…"
"I am. He's not here to do it. To be the good guy." He shook his head. "That just leaves me. And I'm gonna do right by him."
"Oh, Noah…" Rachel closed her eyes and hugged him tighter.
"That's okay," Puck said quietly. "Sometimes I'm in training and I wanna turn and tell him something."
Rachel closed her eyes, nodding. "I'll come home from a tough day and I want to call him to tell him about it." She looked out towards the other bedrooms. "Santana is...well, herself, and Kurt is...he's lovely, really, but...it's not the same."
"Nothing is," he agreed.
"Talking to you helps, though." She smiled softly. "It always has."
"You have to promise me you'll be safe, and you'll come home if it's not right for you." Rachel pushed back to look into his eyes. "I'm serious, Noah, don't feel like you have to push yourself through this for him."
Puck frowned. "I can do this. I know I can."
"It's not that I don't think you can, it's that it might be…" She swallowed as the tears threatened again. "It might be a lot to handle, thinking of him all the time."
"Like you don't now?" He raised a brow.
She gave a harsh laugh. "Why do you think I don't sleep?"
"Thanks, Rachel." Puck ran a hand over his head. "You were always too good to me."
"Don't say that," Rachel countered. "Look at all you've accomplished. Basic training done, warrant officer school down, now advanced training on real helicopters. You're going to be like Top Gun."
"Those were fighters and the Navy, Rach, but I get the idea," he chuckled.
She smiled. "You sound good, Noah. I'm glad."
"Thanks." He sighed. "Listen, Rachel, you really don't have to send the jacket to me."
"I know. And that's why I want to." She pulled it to her face to rest her cheek on it. "It'll be like the Traveling Pants."
"Only you would know I actually know what that means." He rolled his eyes. "But that...that works for me. You'll have to let me know if you need it though. Promise?"
"I promise, Noah," she confirmed. "You know I'll ask."
"Why don't you sleep?" Puck countered. "You've gotta be exhausted by now."
Rachel sighed. "I sleep when I can't keep my eyes open, and then it's only for an hour at most." She looked around the room. "It was easier when I wasn't here."
He swallowed. "Yeah. I guess that's true."
She yawned and blushed. "Oh, Noah, I'm sorry. Talking about sleep just…" She frowned. "But you said you don't sleep either."
He shrugged. "Where else is there for me to go? I'm just...surrounded." He looked down. "It's kinda why I wanted his jacket. Just for a little while, y'know? So it could be like...like we were still in college, and he was sleeping in his bunk with it hanging off the post."
"I'm so sorry, Noah." She took a shaky breath. "If - when - I find it…"
He shook his head. "Don't sweat it, Rachel. Just...is there anything I can do for you? Anything I can do to help? I...I wanted you to know what I was doing for him. I thought it'd….that maybe it'd make you feel a little better. I don't know."
"It does, Noah, it comforts me to know that even when he's...gone...he can still do good things here." She yawned again. "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry."
"Do you trust me?" he asked softly.
"Of course, Noah, with my life." She frowned up at him. "Why?"
He kicked his shoes off. "Do you wanna sleep? Or like nap? Try, anyway? I promise, I won't do anything but hold you." He shrugged. "I don't sleep either. It's too quiet, and it's too lonely."
Rachel bit back the sob that welled. "Oh, Noah…" She shifted and nodded. "Please."
Puck laid back on the bed and gathered her to his chest, stroking her hair until they both drifted off.
"So, how do I get it to you?" Rachel folded the jacket up again. "I can mail it to you today if you tell me how."
"I, uh...I don't know." Puck shrugged. "No one's sent me a big care package. I'm not sure if it's the same thing as letters."
She shrugged. "Well, if so, you know I have the address." She glanced up at the helicopter keychain dangling from her cork board.
He ran a hand over the back of his head. "Let me check with my SO and get back to you. Is that okay?"
She nodded. "It means it'll go out on Monday, if that's all right, unless you get back to me in an hour or so." She sighed. "I just know our post office is horrible on Saturday, so it's honestly not worth fighting the line."
He gave a wry smile she couldn't see. "After waiting this long, I'm good just knowing you found it."
She exhaled shakily. "So am I."
He bit back a sigh. "You sure you're okay?"
She shrugged. "I'm...just weary, I think. A little drained." She shook her head. "Really, Noah, I'm fine. Just let me know how to get this to you."
He frowned. "Will do. Just...take care of yourself, okay? And let me know if I can help. Top Gun or not, I'm still a badass."
She laughed. "Just on the right side of the law now."
He smirked. "That's what my mom said when I enlisted."
"Guys?" Hiram sighed as he peered into the darkened bedroom, soft even breathing replacing the sobs. "I don't even want to wake them."
LeRoy shook his head. "Then don't. I'll call Muriel, tell her he's here."
Hiram nodded and closed the door gently.
Rachel giggled. "My dads tell me your mom and Sarah have the bumper stickers and everything."
Puck rolled his eyes. "Don't remind me. It was all I could do to keep them from tying the yellow ribbon on the tree."
She smiled. "They're proud of you. We all are."
"Thanks, Rachel. I'll let you know how to send the jacket as soon as I find out." He frowned. Something's off.
She smiled tightly. "Sure. It's good to hear your voice."
He shook his head. "Yeah. You too."
"I'll hopefully talk to you soon!" Rachel forced a brightness into her tone.
"Sure, As soon as I know." Puck's frown deepened. "Rachel -"
"Thanks, Noah, just keep me posted." She hung up before he could reply.
"I didn't want to wake them. Do you know why he came by?" LeRoy frowned at the phone. "Enlisting? The Army?"
Hiram gasped from the couch. "He's what?" He cast a worried look at his husband.
LeRoy waved him closer. "Muriel, are you - are you sure about this? Is this a good idea?"
Muriel Puckerman sighed and shook her head. "Not even a little bit, but I also don't feel like I can stop him. He's been...he's been so lost, since Finn..."
"So has Rachel," LeRoy offered softly. "I think maybe they can help each other through this. Maybe he'll change his mind in the morning."
Muriel pursed her lips at her son's bags at the foot of the stairs. "I don't - I don't think so, LeRoy, but thank you for saying so." She swallowed. "All I can hope is that he's doing the right thing for the right reasons."
"Sir." Puck stood at attention before his SO. "Requesting a pass off base, sir."
Brooks looked down his glasses at the nervous young recruit. "Puckerman. Off base." He glanced deliberately at the clock. "Last minute request."
"Sir, yes sir. My apologies, sir, unexpected circumstance, sir." Puck bit his tongue and waited.
"Transport?"
He replied immediately. "The motorcycle, sir. With all appropriate and required gear, sir."
Brooks raised a brow. "Mind if I ask where you're going at the last second?"
"No, sir. New York, sir," Puck responded.
Brooks scoffed. "Alabama to New York and back on the bike in one weekend."
Puck nodded. "Yes, sir. If I leave immediately and drive through I can be there by morning."
Brooks eyed him. "What could be worth that kind of trip?"
"Permission to speak freely, sir." Puck pressed his lips together.
"Please." Brooks waved him on. "I'm still trying to puzzle you out, Puckerman."
Puck blew out a breath. "Sir. I spoke to my best friend and she sounds like she needs me. " He shook his head. "If it was not the weekend, I would not make the request but as I could possibly get to her, I respectfully request a weekend pass."
"I'll grant it, but don't make this a habit." Brooks looked back down. "Looks like there may be a Space A opening on a flight to New York out of Maxwell. Still a two hour ride, but better than driving the whole way through. Find Harrison, he'll get you on." Brooks shot him a hard look. "Don't miss the return."
"No, sir. Thank you, sir." Puck relaxed his shoulders just a bit and pivoted on his heel before marching out with a smile.
Kurt frowned at the vaguely familiar number with the Lima area code on his cell phone. "Kurt Hummel."
"Hummel." Puck laughed. Good thing no one changes their numbers anymore. "Long time no talk."
"Puck?" Kurt frowned and held up a finger, walking away from Starchild. "Shouldn't you be talking to Rachel?"
"I, uh...I did and I'm…" Puck ran a hand over his head. "I'm worried about her. She didn't - she didn't sound right."
Kurt blinked at the phone. "She didn't sound right," he repeated slowly.
"Look, let's just cut the crap, okay? I always cared about Rachel and you all knew it." Puck rolled his eyes. "She doesn't sound right, Kurt."
"You called me Kurt, and you're worried about Rachel." He took a shaky breath. "She wasn't kidding about you, huh."
Puck frowned at the phone. "I don't know what that means, but I'm - look, I've got about five minutes to decide whether to leave to get on a plane or not -"
"A plane?" Kurt winced as heads turned towards him. "You're coming here?"
Puck hoisted his pack onto his shoulder. "Unless you tell me not to, yeah, that's the plan. So?"
Kurt paused and reflected. How many times had the dishes been done, the apartment been straightened, before he slid his night mask off of his eyes? He rubbed a hand over his forehead. "Damn it. She's not sleeping again."
"F-" Puck caught himself, glancing around and shaking his head. "I'll be there tonight around 10. Will you be around?"
Kurt nodded. "I'll make a point to be."
Rachel sat at her desk, tapping her pen against the paper. Her eyes were continually drawn to the dangling helicopter. She flicked it with the pen and smiled.
"Rachel?" Kurt called through the apartment. "I'm back, thank goodness."
She stood. Thank goodness is right. "How was male bonding?"
Kurt raised a brow. "Honey. I don't know if either of us would call it that. How about just plain bonding?"
She laughed. "Fair enough. That, then, how was that?" She dropped onto the couch.
He sighed and dropped into the opposite corner. "It was...not as much fun as a root canal, but not as horrible as an amputation?"
Rachel rolled her eyes. "You're not inspiring me."
Kurt rolled his eyes back at her. "All right, fine, it actually wasn't bad." He shrugged. "We window shopped, we got coffee, we browsed music. Nothing earth-shattering." He looked her over. "And how are you? What did I miss?"
She glanced across the apartment at the helicopter. "Nothing earth-shattering," she replied.
He nodded. "Well, I'm in for the evening. You?"
She blew out a breath. "Yes, absolutely. I'm spent from this week."
Kurt frowned at her. "Rachel...you'd tell me if you weren't okay, right?"
"I…" Rachel forced a smile. "Sure."
He narrowed his eyes at her. "That's actually a no."
She pouted. "I'm hurt. You think I wouldn't?"
"I think you wouldn't want to admit it to yourself, let alone me," he countered.
She folded her arms. "That's not fair."
He gave a short laugh. "Life's not fair, Rachel. We know that better than most." He cut his gaze across the room to Finn's jacket.
She flinched. "You don't have to remind me," she whispered.
He squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm sorry. I didn't - I didn't mean that to come out so harshly." He held out his hands. "Truce?"
Rachel nodded. "I'm not angry, I just...didn't need to hear that right now."
Kurt ducked his head. "I know. I'm sorry." He raised a brow. "Musical?"
She exhaled. "Yes, please."
"Guys and Dolls? West Side Story?" He held up both cases.
She pursed her lips. "Guys and Dolls over West Side Story." She cast him a dark look. "I'd rather avoid star-crossed love ending in tragic death."
He tossed them aside and rolled his eyes. "How about we go Disney, or Disney Pixar? Despicable Me?"
She giggled. "That works. That definitely works."
Puck paid the cab driver and blew out a breath as he hit the sidewalk. "Here goes nothing," he muttered, pulling his phone from his pocket as he looked for the front door.
"Margo, I will catch you, and I will never let you go again!"
Kurt jumped as his phone started to buzz. "Pause it, will you?"
Rachel swiped surreptitiously at her eyes and grabbed the remote. "Sure."
Kurt bit back his smile. "Let me - it's Blaine, let me take this outside for a minute. Be right back."
Rachel nodded, standing and stretching. "You don't have to leave, I can handle you talking to your boyfriend."
Kurt just tossed her a wave. "Two minutes." He darted out the door.
Puck fought not to pace as the phone kept ringing. He said he'd be here...He turned as the door opened and hung up. "Hummel."
Kurt looked him up and down, smiling and shaking his head. "You look good, Puck."
Puck smirked. "They always say any man looks good in uniform. And I already looked good."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "And there's the Puck I recognize." He raised a brow. "The one that called me Kurt and worries about Rachel is…"
"Grown up?" Puck shook his head. "Whatever, dude, how is she?"
Kurt frowned. "I should have noticed sooner. She's a bit of a mess. Refused to watch West Side Story, saying she didn't want to watch star-crossed love and tragic death -"
"No, you think?" Not to mention she lost her virginity after - Puck shook himself. "What're you watching instead?"
"Despicable Me, I went Disney on her." Kurt shrugged.
Puck laughed. "Yeah, that'd work. So, wanna show me this kickass apartment?"
Rachel poured herself a glass of water and grabbed an orange from the fruit basket as the door opened and closed. "So how's Blaine? How's the old crew?"
"You tell me," Puck said with a smile.
Rachel spun to look. "Noah?!"
Puck set his pack down. "I hear you have something for me, figured I'd come pick it up."
"Noah!" Rachel ran across the room and threw her arms around him.
He tossed his beret aside and caught her with a grin. "Hey, Rach." He hugged her back, glancing at Kurt behind him. "You okay?"
She flushed, dropping her arms with a tight smile. "I'm fine."
"You're full of it," Kurt said shortly.
Puck pulled away slightly to look at her, brushing a thumb under her eyes. "You're exhausted," he said quietly.
Rachel swallowed hard and shook her head. "It's - I'm -"
"Stressed. Exhausted. Both." Puck raised a brow. "Am I close?"
She sighed. "Both."
He nodded. "Did you have dinner?"
She brought the orange around from behind his back.
Puck rolled his eyes. "Anywhere worthwhile around that does delivery, Hummel?"
Kurt shot Rachel a look. "Not her favorite one, but it's not a problem to pick up. I'll grab the menu." He walked into his bedroom.
Rachel looked up at Noah. "I'm - I'm all right, Noah, you can let go."
"I could," he agreed, "but I won't. Not yet." He held her head to his chest. "Not until I feel like it."
Rachel looped her arms around his waist and exhaled shakily, her breathing slowing to his heartbeat. "Lack of hugs in boot camp?"
He grinned. "There's the smartass I know and -" He cleared his throat. "Anyway." He ran a hand down her hair. "It's good to see you."
She took a deep breath. "I should be saying that to you," she murmured.
He kissed the top of her head. "Who gives a damn."
She laughed and let some of the tension drain from her body.
There we go. Puck glanced over as Kurt walked back out. "You know her order?"
"By heart." Kurt brandished the menu. "They have mac and cheese, stir fry, burgers...Want anything?"
Puck grinned. "Beef stir fry. Food on base is better than the movies make it look, but it's still not that great."
Kurt nodded and moved off to call it in.
Rachel sighed and closed her eyes. "You don't have to treat me like I'm helpless, you know." She pressed closer and exhaled.
Puck nodded. "We know. Now let us take care of you." He tightened his grip on her.
Rachel nuzzled deeper into the hard chest beneath her, burying her face in the flannel under her cheek.
Puck tightened his arms around her, turning towards her. He blinked slowly awake. Oh, damn it. He lifted up slightly to look at the clock.
Rachel whimpered and rubbed her cheek against him.
"Rachel," he whispered. "Rach, we've been asleep for hours."
She shook her head. "Not yet."
He chuckled lightly. "Rach. Come on." He glanced at the closed door. "Your dads have been by, they even closed your door."
"So no need to move," she muttered into his shirt. "Don't let go."
He shuddered and kissed her head. "Not until you want me to."
Kurt disconnected the call and donned his coat. "All right, it'll all be ready in the time it takes me to get there. I'll be back."
Puck nodded over Rachel's shoulder. "Thanks, Kurt."
Rachel turned to smile at him. "Yes, thank you."
Kurt looked from one to the other and gave a vague smile in return. "No problem. I could use something myself, just didn't think about it." He moved past them to the door. "I'll be back in twenty." He let himself out, leaning on the door as he closed it behind him. "Don't know what you have up your sleeve there, brother mine, but...just give me a sign that I - that they -" He shook his head. "Just show me you're okay with this." He bit his lip and walked out into the night.
Rachel gave a soft shaking sigh, releasing the last of the tension she held.
Puck felt the shift and smiled. "Better?"
She nodded, smiling back shyly. "Much, thank you."
He grinned, loosening his grip. "No thanks needed." He made a show of glancing around. "I haven't touched a chick in months, not since -" He shrugged. "Not since I left."
Rachel shook her head. "I bet my dads called your mom, that's why they closed the door. Just…"
Puck snorted a laugh. "You know, you're probably right. You wanna get up at all? Need anything?"
She sighed and yawned. "Not yet. This is the best sleep I've gotten in ages." She burrowed back down and drifted off again.
"Me too," he murmured, tucking her hair behind her ear before closing his eyes again.
Rachel raised a brow. "Seriously?"
"Don't tell anyone." Puck smirked at her. "Lady Liberty is my only girl now."
She giggled. "That - I have the oddest image of you and the Statue of Liberty..."
He laughed. "Cold and coppery, my favorite."
She rolled her eyes. "You're insane."
"And you're smiling." He quirked a brow. "I say I win."
She blushed. "Come on, let's sit down so you can tell me everything the letters don't say."
He snorted. "I promise there really isn't anything besides what's in those letters. The coolest part of my day is flight time. The rest is a lot of yes sir no sir thank you sir."
"How many of those did you have to use to get here?" She nodded towards the couch. "Come on, have a seat, take a load off."
He released her, taking off his uniform jacket and following her to the couch. "I hear you're in the middle of a movie though."
She gave him a wry smile. "Despicable Me is not the most important part of my night. Especially now that you're here." She frowned. "How long are you here, anyway?"
He dropped onto the couch and cracked his neck. "Um, I have the whole weekend if I want it. I got a flight back out Sunday morning - early, since it's my first time off base, I don't wanna take any chances of not making it back by Monday - but I'm here all day tomorrow." He raised a brow. "Mind someone crashing on the couch?"
She shook her head, sitting down next to him. "Not at all." She tucked her legs under her. "I still can't believe you're sitting right there."
He shrugged. "It's the weekend, so I knew I could get here if I wanted to." He chuckled. "Though I have to say flying is much better than the original plan."
Rachel cast him a questioning look. "And that was?"
Puck held up a hand. "Don't kill me, okay?"
"Noah!" She smacked his shoulder. "You were not getting on the bike and riding here."
He snorted. "I wasn't? 'Cause I'm pretty sure that's what I told Brooks I was gonna do. He's the one who said he knew of a seat opening on a flight that I could get."
"Oh, Noah…" She shook her head. "If the jacket meant that much, I could have braved the post office tomorrow, you just had to say so." She stood and went into her bedroom, emerging with the jacket in outstretched hands. "Here."
Puck pushed it back towards her. "It wasn't the jacket that brought me running, Rachel."
Rachel frowned, sitting down again. "If - but - then why?"
"An orange for dinner?" He shook his head. "You didn't sound right on the phone."
She curled into herself, clutching the jacket to her chest. "Noah…"
He shook his head again. "Don't bother, I'm looking right at you. You can't lie." He raised a brow. "Wanna tell me what's going on?"
"I - it's -" She sighed. "Of all the people to ask that question, you're…" She buried her face in the jacket.
"You miss him. That's - that's not a bad thing." Puck reached over to catch her chin. "Hey."
Rachel lifted guilty eyes to his. "I - Noah...it's…" She held out the jacket. "It doesn't smell like him. I've been - I've been losing things and I don't - " She shook her head as tears threatened. "I don't remember…"
"Damn it, Rachel…" He lunged across the couch to wrap his arms around her shaking form, pulling her into his chest. "It's - you don't have to feel bad about that." He rocked her slowly. "You think he'd want you to beat yourself up? Or live your life?" He kissed the top of her head. "You remember the important stuff, and you know it."
She clenched her fists in his shirt, the letterman jacket sandwiched between them. "I do. I do, right? It's - it's okay?"
"Rachel…" He laughed despite the tightness in his chest. "Yes. You're fine. Is that why you're not sleeping again?"
"I've - Noah, I keep thinking of him and he's - less of a presence and more of a memory." She shook her head. "It feels - it feels like -"
"Like he's really gone." Puck shivered. "It's the first time I said that out loud."
Rachel shuddered and nodded, tears trailing over her cheeks. "I don't - if I don't sleep, then...then maybe...I won't - I won't lose him so fast…"
"You're not gonna lose him, Rach." He threaded his fingers through her hair. "Come on, T-Rex and the Jew will live on in infamy online."
She gave a watery laugh. "That is...strangely comforting."
"See?" He grinned down at her. "That's why I'm here. We always call it like we see it with each other."
"Some of us are better at that than others," she teased.
He ducked his head. "Yeah, well, whatever. Working on it."
She shuddered again and sighed. "Good." She swallowed hard. "Do you - do you feel it?"
Puck glanced down at the jacket and gave a short nod. "I - every day, I'm talking more to Ramirez, my bunkmate, and less to Finn." He tightened his grip on her. "And I wondered like you're wondering. But you know what I remembered?" He gave a half-smirk. "That plaque. The show must go…"
"All over the place, or something," she finished softly. "That was Finn."
"Yeah, it was. And this is the show." He rubbed a hand in circles on her back. "Life. What we're doing every day. It's going all over the place, like it's supposed to."
She shook against him and sniffled. "When - how did you get so wise, huh?"
Puck cleared his throat. "Uh...I have...I have a counselor."
"You - you do?" Rachel searched his face. "Is it the Army? I warned you about this. Noah, are you all right?"
He nodded slowly. "Yeah, actually." He chuckled. "You gotta do all these evaluations and stuff when you enlist. And when I told them about Finn, they, um...they connected me to a counselor to make sure, like you and my mom said, I was doing this for the right reasons." He shrugged. "Tom's awesome."
She smiled. "I'm sure. And that's wonderful."
"And true for you too." Puck caught her eyes. "You get that, right?"
She lowered her head. "That's why I asked how you acquired that wisdom."
"Well, now you know what I'm telling you is professionally backed, okay?" He shook her lightly. "You're gonna be okay, and so am I. I keep telling you that."
Rachel looked into his eyes, tears shining.
"Rach…" Puck hugged her tighter and sighed. "You're gonna be okay. Let it go."
She pressed closer to him, the jacket still trapped between them, and allowed herself to mourn.
Kurt opened the door and froze at the tableau on the couch.
Puck held a finger over his lips. "She cried herself to sleep," he whispered.
Kurt cautiously made his way across the floor to stand next to the couch. "You want me to turn her bed down or something?"
Puck cast a soft look at the brunette on his chest. "Nah, it's cool. She's exhausted." He inhaled and sighed. "How long, you think?"
Kurt shrugged, rounding to the front of the couch and carefully sitting next to them. "We've been running like crazy for the last...month, maybe? I knew she was a little off the last couple of weeks but I thought it was just typical Rachel."
Puck nodded. "Not surprised. Her last letter seemed a little off too."
Kurt glanced at Rachel before unrolling the takeout bag. "If she's that wiped, I'll put her food in the fridge." He pulled out his salad and Puck's stir fry. "Not sure what you want to do."
Puck considered the sleeping diva. "Think I can eat around her?"
"Really?" Kurt rolled his eyes. "Why don't we just carry her to bed? I think she'll stay asleep."
Puck inhaled and sighed. "Yeah, that smells too good to eat cold. Let's try this." He shifted and sat up slightly, picking her up and standing smoothly.
Kurt looked him up and down. "Military. Very nice."
Puck snorted. "Easy, tiger. Let's get her to bed."
Kurt waved him along. "I think I like this new Puck." He pulled the covers down on her bed.
Puck looked at Rachel and shook his head. "Her fault." He set her down gently, the jacket still tangled in her hands.
Puck blinked awake slowly, glancing down to see Rachel staring up at him. "Hi," he whispered.
"Are you sure, Noah?" Rachel bit her lip. "I don't - I'm -" She shook her head. "I don't want to lose you too," she managed.
He winced. "Rachel -"
"Make sure you're doing it for you, please." She took an uneven breath. "Finn would be proud no matter what, and you know it. He loved you, he wouldn't want you to take unnecessary risks in his honor." She flushed. "I'm sorry. Good morning. Thank you for - thank you for a peaceful night's sleep."
He smiled. "Don't mention it. Thank you for the same thing." He tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'll make sure. If it doesn't feel right, I'll bounce. Promise."
"Promise me one more thing." Rachel caught his eyes. "Seriously, Noah."
His brows raised in curiosity, he nodded. "What?"
"If you're going to do this - be your best self. Take the opportunity to live up to the potential I know you have." She inhaled shakily. "If you want to do anything for Finn, do that." She gave a small smile. "Be Noah, not Puck."
He swallowed hard and nodded.
Kurt chuckled and shook his head. "No fault there, just saying. It's - it's good to see you."
Puck dug the chopsticks out of the bag and nodded. "Same here, Hummel. Thanks for looking out for our girl." He opened the top of the takeout container and started to eat.
"Chopsticks." Kurt smiled. "I should start keeping count of the things that surprise me."
Puck gave him a look out of the corner of his eye. "How about not, and call it a truce?"
Kurt nodded and reached for his salad. "Fair enough. I could have been taking better care of her."
Puck looked back towards the bedroom. "She doesn't make it easy on anyone to take care of her, and we both know it."
Kurt gave a short laugh. "Uh, look who's talking, please."
Puck sketched a bow with his chopsticks. "Touche." He took another bite and smiled. "Thanks, Kurt, this is really good." He nodded towards his pack. "Remind me to pay you back."
Kurt waved him off. "Don't worry about it, consider it my donation to the Rachel sanity fund." He raised a brow. "You do seem to be a bit of a Berry whisperer."
Puck rolled his eyes, chuckling. "We just don't BS each other, that's all." He shrugged. "Helps to cut the crap and get her out of her head."
Kurt smiled wryly. "Glad one of us can do it." He cast a questioning look at the reformed badass. "So, tell me everything about flight school."
Rachel shifted and sighed, wrapping her arms tighter around the jacket. She shivered, pulling it over her shoulders and blinking slowly. I'm in bed. How did I get to bed? She blushed. The last thing I remember is crying in Noah's arms. Again...She sat up, laying the jacket aside.
"Private Puckerman will never not sound like a bad porno," Kurt snickered. "But it sounds amazing."
Puck grinned. "It really is awesome." He whirled his chopsticks. "The helicopters are just as cool as they look like in the movies."
Kurt quirked a brow. "Helicopters over fighter jets?"
Puck's grin went to a smirk. "Jets might go fast, but birds go everywhere. Those SEALs and Delta Squad, all those covert badass things you hear about...they came in on helos, not fighters."
Kurt nodded slowly. "That actually makes a lot of sense."
"He never lived up to his potential in high school and I told him so," came Rachel's raspy voice. "Hey."
"Hey, you okay?" Puck put his stir fry aside and stood. "I should've just waited till you woke up to eat, I didn't mean to disturb you."
Rachel shook her head, shuffling to her mac and cheese with a sleepy smile. "It's fine, Noah, I'm sorry I -"
He took the container from her and shook his head. "Don't apologize for anything, Rach. I still probably owe you for all the years of dry cleaning."
She snorted. "All right, fair enough." She raised a brow. "But regardless, I can carry my own dinner."
"Yup." He waved her ahead.
She rolled her eyes and sat on the couch, holding out a hand.
Puck sat next to her and passed her container over before reclaiming his own. "So I get to fly 'em and fix 'em," he continued. "Working on the bike and stuff was a good start, even my SO said so -"
Kurt frowned "SO?"
"Supervising officer," Rachel and Puck replied in unison.
Rachel flushed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to jump in."
Puck rolled his eyes and gave a sigh. "Didn't I just tell you to stop apologizing?"
She nodded, digging a fork into her macaroni. "You did. I still didn't mean to interrupt."
Puck shrugged. "You're the only one who cares," he teased. "Feeling better?"
She nodded. "Yes, thank you, Noah." She glanced at Kurt for a moment and turned her attention back to the food.
"So, yeah. Army. Air Force had really high testing standards, and so did the Marines." Puck shrugged. "As for the Navy, I don't know if I'm cut out for the high seas, y'know?"
Rachel cast him a disapproving look. "You could do whatever you want and you know it. You just have to work at it."
Puck rolled his eyes. "I know, Rachel, but this - it works for me. I'm doing pretty well, so..."
She rubbed a hand over her forehead. "I know. I'm -" She cut herself off at his look. "I just don't want you selling yourself short if this isn't what you want to be doing."
Kurt raised a brow. "Honey, it sounds like he's doing exactly what he wants." He harrumphed. "Which I could have told you if you'd shared the letters with me."
She blushed. "I - I just -"
"Not many people knew where I was or what was going on, Kurt," Puck interjected. "I'm sure Rach was just trying to respect that."
Kurt sighed and nodded. "Fair enough." He stood, brandishing his empty bowl. "Well, you two are still eating, so why don't you finish and if you want to finish the movie, go right ahead. I'm going to head to my room and give Blaine a call."
"Thanks, Kurt," Rachel said softly. "I'm - I'm sorry I didn't come to you -"
Kurt waved her off. "Don't worry about it, Rachel. I'm sorry I didn't notice. You guys catch up, I'll see you in the morning." He frowned. "Do we have anything tomorrow?"
Rachel shook her head. "Fortuitously enough, no."
"Good. You sleep, then." Kurt narrowed his eyes at her. "Deal?"
She nodded. "I will, but I'm a naturally early riser, so don't be upset if I'm up by 8."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Fine, but no alarms."
She shook her head. "No alarms."
Kurt nodded at them. "Puck, let me know if you need anything, okay?"
Puck saluted him with a smirk. "Sir, yes sir."
Kurt rolled his eyes again before making his way to his room.
Puck looked over to Rachel as Kurt disappeared behind the curtain. "Do I wanna know how long it's been since you really slept?"
Rachel took a forkful of macaroni and gave him her brightest smile. "No."
Puck sighed. "Figured." He raised a brow. "Wanna get back to some minions?"
"If you want to? We're practically at the end of the movie, and it's not like I haven't seen it before." She shrugged. "If this is your weekend away, I'm up for whatever."
He quirked a brow. "Yeah? Somehow doubt you'd enjoy UFC or sports shows, princess."
She giggled. "Do I even want to know?"
He chuckled. "Probably not, unless you have some pent up rage that needs an outlet. It's Ultimate Fighting Championship, mixed martial arts."
She frowned, her nose wrinkling in distaste. "All right, maybe not whatever, then."
Puck smirked. "Like I thought. Minions it is." He held out a hand for the remote.
Rachel hit play. "I'm not broken, Noah." She rolled her eyes and continued eating.
He looked at her for a long moment before digging back into his stir fry.
Kurt pursed his lips. "It's just - I don't know, there's something there that's…"
Blaine sighed. "Honey, you were fine when it was Brody, right? This almost makes more sense than that."
"I know, I just..." Kurt rolled his eyes. "I think I was fine with Brody because I knew he was no real threat to her heart."
"Oh." Blaine blinked as the implication hit him. "You think - Puck and Rachel..."
Kurt blew out a breath. "She keeps coming back to him." He ticked off fingers. "Not to mention she never shared his letters, never opened up to me but immediately was able to talk to him, cried herself to sleep on his chest..."
Blaine pressed a hand to his heart. "Puck?"
Kurt shrugged and sighed. "Private Puckerman. Sir, yes sir."
Blaine took a deep breath, considering his words carefully. "Kurt...it sounds like there's something for sure. But is that a bad thing? For her to maybe be able to really care about someone?"
"Yes!" Kurt clapped a hand over his mouth. "Oh...oh, God..."
Blaine winced. "Kurt..."
"I do. I don't want her to - if Finn -"
"Finn's not here, Kurt. I'm sorry, but he's not." Blaine shook his head. "And we all have to figure out what to do from that loss."
Rachel smiled as Gru joined the girls on stage. "I love this movie."
Puck laughed. "Yeah, I think I got that when you lip synced along to his bedtime story."
She blushed and shrugged sheepishly. "It makes me happy. I need things like that."
Puck nodded. "Damn right. Just means you didn't have to say how much you love it for me to see it."
She leaned forward to put her empty container down, gesturing towards him. "Fair enough." She sat back and exhaled. "Thank you. For letting me fall apart on you. Again."
He tossed his chopsticks into his container and set it next to hers. "No thanks needed either, Rach. I'm just glad you had a reason to call." He smiled at her.
"I would have called anyway," she confessed. "Or found a reason to."
He looked at her, startled. "You would?"
She nodded.
"We'll be okay," Puck said as they stood in her doorway. "You and me. We'll be okay."
Rachel smiled weakly. "I'm glad you're so sure."
"I am. Have you met you?" He smirked. "Have some faith there, Rach."
"Vice versa, Noah." She rose on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. "Stay safe." She backed away, biting her lip. "Can I - will you write? Let me know how you're doing?"
He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "Uh, yeah. I - I'd actually like that."
She smiled genuinely this time. "All right, then. You remember my address?"
"By heart since I was your homework buddy in third grade," he murmured. "Yeah."
Rachel giggled. "I'd forgotten that."
Puck shrugged. "I didn't." He pursed his lips for a second before speaking again. "I'll write to you, but if you need me, you call me, okay?"
She frowned slightly. "I always thought you couldn't use your phone for a while in training."
He nodded. "I can't call you, but if you want to call me, screw it." He shrugged again. "I'll put you on my emergency list. You'll get through. Promise."
Rachel gazed at him for a beat before leaning up on tiptoe again, this time pressing a soft kiss to his mouth. "Thank you, Noah."
Puck ducked his head, licking his lips. He cleared his throat. "Catch you on the flip side."
She stepped back and nodded. "Talk to you soon."
Puck cleared his throat. "So. Back to bed?"
Rachel pursed her lips. "I don't - I don't really feel tired."
"Rachel. You haven't slept." He rolled his eyes. "Give your body the opportunity and I bet you'll be snoring in a minute."
She gasped. "I do not snore!"
He chuckled. "Very softly. Very dainty. But you do snore when you're exhausted."
She frowned. "No one ever told me that."
Puck quirked a brow. "And how many people are in a position to know?"
Rachel's frown deepened in confusion, a blush blooming when she realized the implication. "I don't see how that's any of your business, Noah!"
He rolled his eyes. "You're telling me no one ever told you you snore. I'm saying there probably aren't that many people with the information. That's why I ask." And not the weirdly churning feeling in my stomach.
She blew out a breath, shaking her head. "Well. Be that as it may, I've never been informed." She drew her legs up and picked at invisible threads on her knees.
Puck grabbed her hand and chuckled. "Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
Rachel sighed and squeezed his hand. "It's okay. The answer is very few, actually - but the one who probably had the most occasion to tell me so was...was Finn."
Knew it. Puck shook his head and tugged her towards him. "I never should've asked, I'm sorry, Rachel."
She shuddered as he wrapped his arms around her. "It aches more, Noah...it just -"
"The hell is going on here?" Santana slammed the door and tossed her keys aside.
"Lopez. Pleasure as always," Puck drawled, keeping Rachel tucked into his chest. "Long time no see."
Santana stalked across the floor to eye him up and down. "Is that a uniform, Puckerman?"
Kurt walked out of his bedroom at the sound of the door. "Call you back, honey," he murmured and hung up. "Santana. Welcome home. Puck's visiting for the weekend. Rachel hasn't been sleeping -"
Rachel winced and burrowed deeper into Puck's uniform shirt, breathing deeply through her nose.
"She what?" Santana frowned thunderously. "Mira, what did we tell you about that? Huh?"
"Ease off," Puck growled. "It's Rachel, she never asks for help, we all just have to read her mind." He leaned towards her ear to whisper. "Or have one to begin with."
Rachel giggled, catching her breath as she realized she was doing so.
Santana cast Kurt a look, Kurt's corresponding confusion clear.
"Turns out Puck never stole Finn's jacket, San. It was Mr. Schue." Kurt cleared his throat. "He returned it, and Rachel and I -"
Santana scoffed. "Rachel and you?"
"Yes, Santana, that was my decision." Rachel lifted her head and turned to face her roommate. "Mr. Schue called for me. I wanted Noah to have the jacket, and Kurt is Finn's brother, so -"
Santana rounded on her. "Don't you dare pull that crap on me, Berry, you know damn well I didn't get my time with it -"
Rachel pushed out of Puck's arms. "And that's not Noah's fault, he didn't -"
"Keep it." Puck put a hand on Rachel's shoulder and shook his head. "Santana, just keep it, okay? I don't need it. I don't. Not anymore." His words were for Santana but his eyes locked on Rachel's. "I don't need a jacket to remind me of the man Finn wanted me to be. I'm doing it every day, when I wake up to someone coming up with a new Private Puck joke, usually my damn roommate, and I laugh and smile and get to fly a freaking helicopter that might someday get SEAL Team 6 to where they need to be. I'm cool. I promise."
Rachel gave a shaky smile. "Noah -"
He waved her off. "Keep it, Santana. It's in Rachel's room." He paused for a beat. "Just - you can't keep it from her, or from Kurt, okay? If they need it. I'll let it go, so it can stay here for all of you. That's the deal."
Santana frowned and nodded slowly. "Sure. Yeah, I can do that." She ran into Rachel's room.
"Noah –" Rachel gave him an apologetic look.
Puck shook his head. "Hang it somewhere you can look at it. So you can see it every day." He gave a wry smile. "Reveille, every morning, hearing that bugle. I think of him." He flushed, ducking his head. "It was Tom's idea. So I could hold onto him, but still remember to keep living."
Kurt swallowed and swiped at his eyes. "I'm - I'm going to bed, guys, you -"
"You were sleeping with this?" Santana emerged slowly from the bedroom, Finn's jacket held reverently in her hands. "Rachel -"
"Go ahead, Santana," Rachel said quietly. "I - I think I'm okay without it." She cleared her throat and looked over at the startled Latina. "I'll let you know."
"You - you better," Santana warned, and took it back into her bedroom.
Kurt looked from Rachel to Puck and back again, inhaling shakily. "Good night," he managed, retreating to his bedroom to breathe.
Puck frowned at Rachel. "You sure you wanted to let it go? She would actually have let you keep it."
Rachel sighed. "I - the way you described what you do at Reveille…" She pursed her lips and glanced around before turning and slowly lifting her shirt.
"Rachel! What are - oh." Puck froze as he saw the fine script etched on her side. He reached out as if to touch it before snatching his hand back. The hell? Back off, Puckerman, damn it.
Rachel blushed and lowered her top. "Every morning, I - when I wake up, I run my fingers over that tattoo. Now I can do it with intention. I can't wear a jacket all day, but that - it's always with me."
Puck nodded, smiling. "Yeah. Like the uniform holds him for me. Exactly."
Rachel swallowed and wiped the tears that started. "Thank you, Noah, for that. I would never have - it makes a difference."
Puck took an uneven breath. "I know. I was a little rough, the first few weeks. That's why I got sent to Tom. They were watching and they were worried. He told me instead of thinking about Finn all day, I could just put him into the things I did. Let him be part of me, so part of him got to go on living. It's why I joined in the first place, right? So, I did it. And all of a sudden I was - I was good at this stuff, Rachel. I picked it up, understood it, and did it. I never thought I could."
Rachel smiled. "I did." She rubbed her hands over her face. "I'm - I'm a little all over the place right now. If I - can I just - " She exhaled heavily. "I don't want to be alone right now."
Puck opened his arms. "Until you want me to let go."
Rachel shifted back into him with a small sigh.
"I've got you," he whispered. "All night if you want."
She paused. "You - you would?"
He nodded. "I proved I can do it, right? I totally would if you'd rest better."
She bit her lip. "Did you pack pajamas?"
He grinned and nodded again. "Yeah, I did. I know Hummel was gonna be checking me out. Totally forgot Santana moved in."
"Probably because it wasn't my choice." Rachel shook her head. "Do you - should you get changed, then?"
He dropped a kiss on her hair and moved her to the side. "Five minutes. I'm gonna brush my teeth too."
She nodded. "I'll try to find something on TV."
He scooted off the couch to retrieve his pack and duck into the bathroom.
Santana emerged from her bedroom as the bathroom door closed. "Rachel."
Rachel looked up from her contemplation of the cable guide. "Santana?"
Santana crossed to her quickly and grabbed her for a hug. "I can't thank him, so thank you."
Rachel hugged her back, startled. "You're - you're welcome."
Santana stood back and nodded. "You know, he always was the best version of Puck with you. For whatever that's worth."
Rachel bit her lip. "I don't - it's -"
Santana rolled her eyes. "I said for whatever that's worth. Bank it for later, I don't care." She waved and spun on her heel.
Puck returned a minute later. "Okay, Operation Human Pillow may now commence."
Rachel giggled. "I'm a mission, now?"
Puck shrugged, tucking into a corner of the couch and swinging his legs up. "If you are, it's a cakewalk. C'mere."
Rachel shifted herself back into the circle of his arms and took a deep breath. "Thank you."
Puck grinned. "Thank Tom. If he wasn't so awesome with me, I wouldn't know what to tell you."
She shrugged. "I can't thank him, so I'll thank you instead."
He nodded and smiled. "Fair enough. So what's on?"
Rachel leaned her head back against his shoulder and flipped through the guide.
Kurt tiptoed out Saturday morning, shaking his head at the two sleeping in the corner of the couch with the TV droning low. He carefully retrieved the remote from the couch next to them and shut it off, before heading into Santana's room.
Santana blinked awake slowly. "Glinda. It is way too damn early."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "They're passed out on the couch. I didn't want you to go out yelling for everyone and scare the crap out of them."
Santana frowned. "How long has it been since she actually slept?"
Kurt shook his head. "We probably don't want to know." He swallowed hard. "How did he guess over the phone?"
It was Santana who rolled her eyes. "Honey, were you paying attention in high school? Those two are like...I don't know, weird magnets or something. They got each other somehow. I stopped asking a long time ago." Her face went wistful, vulnerable. "Brit always said Puckleberry was the best Berry."
Kurt rubbed her arm. "And we all saw how good Puck was when he was with her. Brit's a smart girl."
Santana nodded. "Wanna just get breakfast? Leave them to sleep in?"
Kurt smiled. "Sure. Let's get out of here." He narrowed his eyes at her. "Just not the diner."
Santana laughed. "Yeah, right." She counted on her fingers. "Extra Thursday night shift, Friday morning, break for a few hours and back for the night? No thanks." She waved Kurt off. "Let me get dressed."
Kurt bit his lip. "May I?" He pointed to her chair.
Santana nodded slowly. "Yeah."
Puck tightened his arms as Rachel shifted, burying his face in her hair.
Rachel sighed, aligning her body to his. She reached to tug the covers over her shoulder and blinked as her palm hit something cold.
Puck woke as Rachel jerked. "Rach?"
Rachel bit her lip and pulled the letterman jacket up to drape over them. "Let's just go back to sleep," she whispered.
Puck rubbed a hand over his eyes and glanced down. "Is - is that…" He listened carefully. "They left?"
Rachel shrugged. "I think they did."
Puck exhaled. "Are you okay with that?"
"Somehow I'm always okay with you." Rachel smiled softly. "Go back to sleep, Noah." She snuggled down again.
The rest of Saturday passed all too quickly. When Puck and Rachel woke around noon, they went on a whirlwind sightseeing tour - the Intrepid was mandatory, Puck acted part awestruck little boy and part tour guide - grabbed pizza at Lombardi's - Puck swore to come back and visit just for the meatballs - and swung by Smorgasburg to grab dessert - Puck refused to believe the chocolate chai ice cream Rachel forced on him was lactose free - before returning to the apartment.
Santana and Kurt looked up from the kitchen table as the pair came through the door arm in arm.
"Well hello to you too," Santana remarked. "Had a good day?"
Rachel nodded, smiling up at Puck. "Best I've had in a long while."
Santana nodded slowly. "Good."
Kurt smiled. "You look better, Rachel."
"I feel better, Kurt." She swallowed hard. "And I am sorry I didn't talk to either of you. I just - " Rachel shook her head. "I don't even know where to start."
Kurt shook his head. "No apology needed, just know that you can, all right?" He nodded to the TV. "Up for some trashy TV? We never watched Scandal this week."
Rachel bit her lip, quirking a brow towards Puck. "Um, I am, but…"
Puck shrugged. "Whatever you wanna do, I'm pretty damn good right now."
Rachel smiled. "Then let's get our Gladiator on."
Puck's brows furrowed and he chuckled. "I have no idea what that means, but okay."
"Dude. It can't end like that." Puck shook his head, reaching for another fistful of popcorn. "Do they always end like that?"
Rachel, Santana and Kurt all laughed.
"They absolutely do," Rachel confirmed. She reached for her wine, taking a long sip before offering it to Puck.
Puck shook his head again, taking a long drink. "Huh. Wine. Should've given it more of a chance." He gave it back to Rachel with a smile. "I'm gonna have to figure out how to keep up with this show - sex, military secrets, assassins...sounds like a good guilty pleasure to me."
Kurt laughed. "I can only imagine Private Puckerman watching Scandal in his room with his headphones on so no one catches him…"
Puck shoved him playfully. "Shut up, dude." He raised a brow. "Do they do marathons?"
Santana eyed him. "Actually yeah, what, you gonna invite yourself over?"
Puck shrugged. "Or get somewhere off base with a TV I can use? Yeah, maybe."
Rachel smiled, taking his arm and squeezing it. "You're welcome to visit, Noah. Despite Santana's bluster." Rachel tossed a sarcastic look at the Latina across the couch. "Maybe she should be on the lease if she wants to dictate house guests."
Santana made a disapproving noise before ruining it with laughter. "Damn, fine, it'll be a good excuse to binge watch anyway."
Puck snorted a laugh. "Good to know some things never change."
Santana rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Private Puck, you miss us and you know it."
"Damn straight," Puck confirmed. "But I never denied that." He quirked a brow. "Now you, Lopez, if you ever admitted you actually give a damn about me, I think hell would freeze over."
"Laugh it up," she snarked. "I'm only putting up with you for our girl."
Rachel pressed a hand to her heart. "Santana…"
The other girl rolled her eyes. "Easy there, Baby Barbra, don't put too much into that statement."
Rachel giggled. "Even if I did, I'd never say out loud to embarrass you, San." She reached over to squeeze Santana's arm. "But I do appreciate it."
"Don't mention it." Santana rolled her eyes again. "Seriously. Ever."
Rachel laughed. "Deal." She turned back to Puck. "I'll consider it a standing date, then. I'll let you know when it's coming up."
Puck nodded with a chuckle. "And that's a deal."
Kurt cleared his throat. "So, what time is your flight out, Puck?"
"Too early - I've gotta be at the airport by 6 am." He shrugged. "Gotta meet up with the actual flight home out of a base upstate, but that means heading out to Republic. That's about an hour, so…"
"Noah, how much traveling did you do in one day?" Rachel giggled. "No wonder why you slept so late."
"You weren't moving either," he teased. "You really wanna know?"
Rachel nodded. "Yes, actually."
Puck rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "Two hours from Rucker to Maxwell, about two and a half hour flight up, an hour ride in. What's that, five and a half hours?"
Rachel's jaw dropped as Santana and Kurt exchanged a look. "You - on the spur of the moment, you traveled five and a half hours because I 'didn't sound right on the phone'."
Puck flushed, ducking his head. "You don't have to say it like that, okay?"
Rachel grinned. "Oh, yes I do. As proof to anyone who doesn't see what a good person you are, Noah Puckerman, I do have to say it exactly like that."
Kurt cast another look at Santana and stood. "Well, I'm going to head into my bedroom to call Blaine. Puck, have a safe trip back and...thank you." He held out a hand.
Puck stood and took the handshake. "She's a tough nut to crack, don't worry about it."
"Gee, thanks." Rachel kicked the back of Puck's knee lightly.
Santana rolled her eyes and boosted herself off the couch. "I'm gonna go do some retail therapy after all the punishment I put myself through at work." She blew out a breath. "Good to see you, Puckerman."
Puck smirked. "Aww, look at that, you actually said something nice to me and the sky didn't fall." He held out a fist.
Santana rolled her eyes again and fist bumped him. "All right, I'm out. Night, Rach."
"Night, guys." Rachel waved as her roommates retreated. "Did you set up your ride back to the airport?"
Puck nodded. "I already set up airport transportation, yeah. Didn't want to take any chances."
"I can drive you, if you want. There's a rental car service I'm part of. If you'd rather."
"Rach, that's going to be 5 in the morning. Really?"
She shrugged lightly. "You'd do it for me."
"Is it really that easy to get a car?" He quirked a brow. "It's fine taking a service, I usually get a pretty good reaction in uniform."
She chuckled. "I can only imagine, which is why I don't understand how you haven't…" She shook her head. "Anyway, yes, I can reserve a car right now and we can pick it up tonight if you want." She shrugged. "Maybe I'll even take it for the day, go to the beach."
He nodded. "You do that, I'll call and cancel the car."
Rachel made a Zipcar reservation on her phone while Puck canceled his car service. "We're set. Ten minute subway ride - now or in the morning?"
Puck glanced at the clock. "Totally your call. You tired?"
She shook her head. "If we get the car now, we have a little more time in the morning."
He held out his hand for hers as she stood from the couch. "Shall we?"
They grabbed their coats and strolled in silence to the subway, Rachel catching Puck glancing at her along the way.
"What?" Rachel blushed lightly. "You're making me nervous."
Puck smiled and chuckled. "Sorry. I'm just - I was just remembering the last time we were walking in New York City. Not that I was exactly walking with you, but -"
"Oh my goodness…" Rachel grinned and shook her head. "You know...I always meant to ask." She darted her eyes at him from beneath her lashes. "Was that you? Your idea?"
Puck swallowed and shrugged. "Why would you - why would you think that?"
Rachel giggled. "Because I told you about that when we were...ten?" She raised a brow. "Walking through New York City, being serenaded? That was the dream date from that truth or dare."
He huffed a laugh. "Damn. I should've known you wouldn't forget."
She squeezed his hand as they made their way down the subway stairs. "I never thought you'd remember."
I always thought it'd be me. He shrugged. "Yeah, well, I did. And I was just thinking about it." He reached into his pocket for his wallet. "I didn't get a Metrocard, gimme -"
Rachel shook her head and kept hold on his hand. "On me, come on." She swiped herself through and handed the card back.
Puck looked around and swiped through. "You sure that's okay?"
She smiled. "It's so funny to see you so worried. Yes, Noah, it's fine."
He relaxed slightly. "Sorry. It's still weird feeling compelled to act right."
Rachel giggled. "I like it." She cleared her throat. "So, how did you tell Finn?"
"He was - he was really worried about you guys, he knew something was up. But he didn't know what to do about it." Puck shrugged. "He asked, and I answered."
She nodded slowly. "Well, I thank you, then. It was - " She smiled at him. "It was wonderful. Thank you for making that happen."
"You're, uh...you're welcome." He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, twining his other hand with hers. "So, you can just rent a car on your phone and pick it up just like that?"
She smiled. "Welcome to the wonders of New York living. The city that never sleeps, you really can get pretty much anything if you know where to go."
He chuckled. "It suits you. But it also doesn't mean you need to stay up all night."
Rachel rolled her eyes. "Point taken, Noah, I promise. I -" She shrugged. "I have better coping mechanisms to try out now."
Puck gave a wry smile. "Helps to have someone going through the same thing, right?"
She squeezed his hand. "Absolutely." She paused as the announcement came on. "Train's here."
He tucked her hand into his arm and walked onto the train car, helping her take a seat while he stood.
"Noah, take a seat." She looked around the empty car. "It's fine."
He smirked at her. "I'm in the presence of a lady in public, I'm acting accordingly."
Rachel giggled, fanning herself with her hand. "Why I do declare," she drawled. "Thank ya kahndly." She fluttered her lashes like any Southern belle.
Puck laughed. "Rachel Berry, ladies and gentlemen." He clapped, careful to keep his feet. "Glad to see your return."
She gave a short laugh. "I didn't even realize I was gone."
He shook his head. "It's okay. Part of you did." He took a deep breath. "The part that would've found a reason to call me anyway."
Rachel exhaled shakily. "I suppose I did at that." She looked up at him. "I know you said I don't have to, but thank you again. For hearing it in my voice, for sensing it somehow, for coming here and being - " She smiled shyly. "Don't freak out, okay? But in a strange way, you're - you're my best friend, Noah. You know me in ways no one else ever will, I think."
Puck flushed and ducked his head. "Well, you're my best friend too. So we're even."
She grinned. "I am? We are?"
He shrugged and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, okay, you are and we are." He smiled. "You always saw through my crap, even when I didn't. I needed that, I needed someone to see me like that. Finn was - he was the inspiration, you know? The role model. But you were the one who saw it in me - that I could be that guy."
Rachel smiled widely. "Well, not only could you be that guy…" She tugged lightly on his uniform jacket. "I say you are that guy. Right here, right now. Traveling for five and a half hours on a Friday night with pretty much no notice to be here with me."
Puck flushed deeper but met her gaze. "You're worth it."
She looked back at him, her heart fluttering in her chest. "Noah -"
"We're here," he interrupted, pointing at the sign. "DeKalb. We're here."
Rachel nodded, shaken, and hurried off the train.
Puck buckled his seat belt and blew out a breath. "Look, Rachel, I didn't mean -"
"Noah -" Rachel shook her head. sighing as she buckled into the driver's seat. "You didn't do anything wrong. I just - we always -" She snorted a laugh. "We always. That seems to sum it up."
Puck chuckled. "Yeah. We always. Somehow." He took her hand and tugged until she looked at him. "Rachel, I just - I was just being honest. You're worth it. You should know that. I want you to know that."
Rachel swallowed hard. "Thank you, Noah. I just - with you - I feel more myself than I have since…"
"Since we lost him." Puck raised a brow. "That's it, right?"
Rachel nodded slowly. "I feel like I can just be myself again, really truly myself."
"And that's weird. But it's okay, Rachel. I swear it is." He shrugged. "I have a professional opinion on that. It's never going to be the same, but you're allowed to be okay."
She inhaled shakily. "It's still - it still feels odd, to be okay. I fight it like crazy."
"You don't have to," he said quietly. "Finn wouldn't want you to."
Rachel thought of the jacket her roommates had draped over them, tears springing to her eyes at the unspoken approval. "I know. But I don't know if I'm ready to be - to feel -"
"Rachel." Puck shook his head. "Don't. It's okay. You don't have to be ready for or feel anything other than okay." He wagged a brow. "Okay?"
She exhaled and gave a light laugh. "I'm overthinking?"
He nodded. "It's your default setting." He gave her a smirk. "I said what I meant, and I meant what I said...but I'm also on a 6 am flight to Alabahmuh." He kissed her hand and set it down. "Throttle back."
She blew out a breath before brightening her smile. "Oh, is that how they say it down there? Alabahmuh?" She squeezed his hand before taking hers back to adjust the mirrors. "Just like that?"
He leaned back and nodded. "Ah, yeyus ma'am."
She shook her head and laughed.
5 AM came swiftly, another night on the couch - this time by actual plan and agreement - before they were back in the car.
Puck reached over and deliberately took Rachel's hand, linking their fingers. "You okay with me driving?"
Rachel yawned and curled into the passenger seat. "Yes, thanks. I don't know how you do it."
He laughed. "Bugle. It helps. Now I'm just conditioned to wake up on a dime."
She nodded tiredly. "I usually am too," she breathed through a yawn.
He squeezed her hand. "Go to sleep, Rach. I have this."
She gave a vague smile and let herself eyes drift shut again.
Puck glanced over at his passenger, the play of streetlights tracing patterns across her sleeping form, her hand still linked with his.
Rachel blinked slowly as the motion of the car stopped. "No," she murmured, "not yet."
Puck chuckled lightly. "Yeah, I feel the same way, but we're here." He squeezed her hand before finally relinquishing his grip. "Up and at 'em, champ."
Rachel rolled her eyes and stretched. "Fine, let's move." She unbuckled her belt and reached for the door.
Puck held out a hand. "Uh-uh. Give me a sec." He jumped out and came around to open the door for her. "One last chivalrous move before I go." He held out a hand.
Rachel smiled softly, placing her hand in his again to step from the car. "Fair enough," she agreed.
He tucked her hand into the crook of his arm before walking her back around, reaching behind the drivers seat for his pack. "Thanks for letting me come disrupt your life for a weekend," he teased, gently plucking her hand from his arm and stepping back. "Scandal marathon, right?"
She shook her head and laughed. "Thank you for realizing my life needed a little disruption," she replied. "And yes, Scandal marathon. Or, you know, whenever you feel like a little getaway."
Puck grinned. "Sounds like a deal to me."
Rachel swallowed, staring at him for a heartbeat. "Noah…"
He shook his head. "Throttle back," he repeated. "Nothing to agonize over, definitely not when it comes to me."
She bit her lip and stepped towards him. "Not agonizing," she said quietly, putting her hands deliberately on his shoulders and leaning up to kiss him softly.
Puck froze under her palms, a low groan escaping when her lips touched his. He held her waist carefully, kissing her back gently.
Rachel pulled away with surprising reluctance, looking up at him with a small smile. "I think that's pretty low throttle anyway."
He chuckled and nodded. "Yeah." He shivered. "Didn't expect that."
She laughed, the sound speeding his heartbeat. "I don't think I did either, but it felt like the right thing to do."
Puck brushed a thumb over her cheek. "One minute?"
Rachel caught her breath, smiling and nodding even as her chest felt tight. She stepped into his embrace and wrapped her arms around his neck.
He took a deep breath and held her tightly to him, closing his eyes to memorize the feeling.
She sighed as the tension drained from her again, her heartbeat slowing. "You're better than a teddy bear," she murmured into his chest.
Puck kissed the top of her head. "Good thing I know you mean it in a good way, or else I'd have to prove my badassness."
Rachel giggled. "I think I just have to look at you to know what a badass you are." She lifted her head to look at him again. "But a badass with a heart of gold. I always saw it."
He searched her face and leaned down to kiss her lightly. "We always."
She nodded, a shudder running through her. "We always."
He stepped back, inhaling slowly and saluting. "See you soon, Rach."
She smiled. "I hope so." She giggled before shaping a heart with her fingers.
Puck grinned, returning it. "You saw."
Rachel nodded again. "Always."
He smiled wider. "Catch you on the flip. Call me when you need me, okay?"
"I still promise," she replied. "Be safe, please."
"Always," he offered with a smirk. He saluted her again before executing a perfect pivot on his heel and marching his way into the terminal.
Rachel slowly crept through the apartment to her bedroom, the need for sleep overwhelming the desire for a day at the beach. Besides, I can always take the train. She blinked as she spotted a black leather jacket laying on her bed. "What in the world?" She picked it up, spotting a note underneath, and laughed.
Collateral. Y'all could sleep through a stampede btw. - S
Puck groaned and stretched, rolling his neck before setting his pack on the back of the bike. He opened it to retrieve his leather jacket. "What the…" He dug through to the bottom of the pack and pulled out a familiar red and faded white bundle. He placed it carefully on the seat of the bike and looked in his bag. "They took my damn jacket, didn't they." He unfolded Finn's letterman jacket, shaking his head at the note pinned to the front.
Bring it back safe. And you too. Hostage exchange at the next Scandal marathon. - S
He chuckled and put it on, laughing aloud as it dwarfed even his frame. "Broad shoulders," he murmured. I'll keep doing my best to live up to them.
"You'll Be Okay" - A Great Big World
You'll be okay
You'll be okay
The sun will rise
To better days
And change will come
It's on it's way
Just close your eyes
And let it rain
'Cause you're never alone
I will always be there
You just carry on
You will understand
You'll be okay
You'll be okay
Just look inside
You know the way
Let it go
Fly away
And say goodbye
To yesterday
'Cause you're never alone
And I will always be there
You just carry on
You will understand
And I will be strong
When love is gone
I'll carry on...
You'll be okay
You'll be okay
The sun will rise
To better days
You'll be okay
You'll be okay
Just close your eyes
And let it rain
When you need it the most
And all you've got is a prayer
You must carry on
You will understand
You will understand
You will understand
You'll be okay
You'll be okay
You'll be okay.
