Disclaimer: None of Glee belongs to me; I'm a) not Ryan Murphy and b) so not that creative/epically awesome.

AN: None of this is Betaed; I'm the only one who's edited it so sorry for any mistakes.

Chapter 1: Santana and Noah

Was it really that hard to believe, that Puck was her best friend even when they hated each other? That their relationship wasn't founded on sex and that, hell, they hardly ever went further than a kiss, much less actually did the deed. Probably, after all everyone in Lima seemed to take things at the surface value and they tossed around innuendos like they were playing hot potato. Way back when, in grade school, Santana found the perfect partner in Noah. They both knew how to play the system, manipulating peers and adults alike. But more importantly they both were broken. Puck, as he became known in junior high, had a poor overworked mother and an adorable little sister who was still too young to understand that their father had abruptly abandoned them for a younger woman and a life without children tying him down. Santana had a successful workaholic father who was abusive in the 'safety' of their home and a mother too out of it to even realize what went on in front of her.

Quickly they became partners in crime; acting out and hoping someone would notice the right things about them. They were both broken, and once they found each other they shared a bond deeper than anyone could guess. Neither of them could trust an outsider, someone who didn't know pain like they did, so even though Finn claimed Puck as his best friend and Santana claimed Brittany as hers they both knew underneath it all that they would always be closer to each other than anyone else. Ms. Puckerman never said a word about the hundreds of sleepovers she tended to host where Santana was the only invitee. When they were kids it was never about sex, it was about the broken uselessness they both felt underneath it all.

It made sense, when they were 14 and about to start high school soon, to make sure they had their firsts with someone they could trust, with each other. So yeah, they planned it out, Puck saved up, and halfway through the summer before freshman year they went on their first date, to Breadsticks, and went back to Santana's and shared their first everything. They'd already shared their first kiss back in like third grade but that night they did everything else as well (and even though they'd both been virgins they did use protection because neither one of them was stupid, when sober at least). It would be better to experiment, or at least practice, together now she'd explained to Puck, because really now that they were going into high school sex would be just another tool to manipulate people with and there was no need to look like an inexperienced fool in front of someone they didn't trust. That night was not really about sex, it was about trust and making sure their first time was on their terms.

Ironic wasn't it, that Puck got labeled the 'McKinley Man Whore' when she'd been the one to convince him to start having sex, and she knew for a fact that he hadn't slept with even half as many people as she had, or even half as many people as most people thought he had. Santana wasn't a whore; no she was one of the hot, slutty, cheerios. Even though she'd probably slept with more people than the entire rest of the team combined she never ended up with the kind of negative heat Puck did. Some days, most days actually, she really felt like she deserved the teasing nickname, Satan, he'd given her. Sex and being a bitch were what she was good at: school was boring and she sucked at listening to other people go on about their own problems. She always wanted to tell them to suck it up because they didn't have it nearly as bad as her best friend who was practically selling himself to earn more customers for his pool cleaning business so he could help his mom pay the bills. Those nights were never really about sex, most of the time they didn't even make out, they were about being with someone who understood.

Yeah, she was only good at sex and being a bitch so when she saw her best friend screwing himself, and Quinn, over trying to do the right thing to make up for a drunken mistake she stopped the disaster with what she was good at. Puck had been drunk out of his mind when he had sex with Quinn and regretted it immediately the next morning. But he was so determined never to abandon his own children like his father that he couldn't admit that the 'family' would fall apart pretty quickly and that would be even worse for the kid in the long run. So she'd flashed Quinn the timestamp on Puck's texts asking for ideas to calm the triple terrors from the night before and made out like they'd been sexting all night. He hated her and bitched at her for a while, if he had been her source of sex she would've been on the metaphorical couch for a few months there, but when Beth was born he came back to her. Noah, because he was always Noah at his weakest, crept into bed with her silently crying that night after he had to give his daughter away and neither of them mentioned how much she might have been at fault. If they cuddled all night and didn't even kiss once, well, it was their business. That night was defiantly not about sex, it was about Noah's comfort and needing to hold someone who wasn't going to leave him.

Everyone could see that the relationship with Mercedes was one of the most pointless things ever. Puck wasn't even sexing her, barely a few chaste kisses and some handholding. Maybe it was to boost his popularity back up, maybe he was trying to improve his rep somehow, but either way it wasn't working. Now that was all fine and good but being in Glee club with them Mercedes had more of Puck's respect than most other fools at the school so when she started preaching at Santana's main man shit was so going down. It was like nobody had noticed that since receiving his own facial slushie Puck had toned those down and only landed one now and then on that creepy jew-fro kid. How he didn't throw pee balloons or teepee houses on the weekends anymore. No, Diva there just had to pick at Puck's weak spots, not that she knew or was trying to upset him, with all her preaching at him about changing for the better. Well that was not okay, Santana had to pull out her second skill and be a bitch to get rid of her. When she invited Puck over for movie night the night they broke-up he came and they never needed to mention why she'd really started that catfight out loud. That night was not at all about sex, it was about reaffirming each other and the unspoken understanding that they'd always be there for one another.

When she 'blossomed' over the summer, God she hated her genetics, she lied and told everyone she'd gotten a boob job. That body type she was inheriting was just ugh, she could almost feel her hips and ass swelling, the voluptuous hourglass figure so did not work for cheerleading. She knew Quinn would probably tell Coach Sue, unless having Beth had changed her as much as it had changed Puck, to get back on top but she figured she kinda owed Q something for the 'sexting' incident and that she'd be able to fight her way up again in no time. But those insecurities she stumbled over in Coach's office hadn't all been lies. Santana was a top bitch that nobody messed with and everybody slept with. With that kind of reputation what kind of relationship would she ever be able to get? Sometimes she wanted a sweet boy like Finn to take her out on real dates that didn't all end in sex. Every once in a while she wanted someone to want her for more than just sex. So sometimes, okay about once a week, she'd head over to Puck's and they'd watch America's Next Top Model while curled up together on his bed and Puck, Noah on these nights, would give her a running commentary of how much more beautiful, intelligent, and fierce she was than each of them. These nights were not about sex, they were about reassurance and friendship.

She heard about Puck's stay in juvie before anyone at school did, all it gave her was time to plan out her public reaction. It was obvious, even to the judge who eventually got around to granting her boy probation, that Puck wasn't stealing an ATM. The cops of Lima just hated him for being the number one punk in town who probably slept with all their wives and bullied all their children. Puck was drunk and forgot to put the car in reverse before accelerating. She would know: she got his one phone call asking her to pick-up the groceries sitting in the back of the car because his sister needed to bring a special snack in to school the next day. Yes, Puck sat up in his room and got totally wasted a few times a week; shut up, he was depressed about things, okay. Every day, if she didn't have something to distract her, she'd sit and worry about him because she knew how truly un-tough he was. She'd chosen the bad-boy persona and everything that went along with it to ensure he became popular; he totally would've become a band nerd or something without her. Damn it, she'd doomed him, now she spent her allowance helping out his mother and her nights worrying about him. When he came back they spent the next month having sleepovers, where they actually slept, and he didn't complain about being hugged all night like a teddy bear. Those nights were so not about sex, they were about her comfort and making sure he wasn't leaving her again.

Okay 'rock(ed) my world' was part of a code for them, because nobody actually used the term in real life anymore, and not only did it mean that something big had gone down during that seven minutes of hel-heaven but also Puck was so coming over tonight. After the maid let Puck in, handed over the giant bowl of non-buttered popcorn, and left them alone they didn't even make it halfway through the first Die Hard movie before Puck was spilling. So the whale of a girl is on the wrestling team and way forceful, can you say ew, when they're in the storage closet and Noah, yeah he's vulnerable right now, is upset because he's just realized that he likes that. Of course he liked it; all the women (Santana and the MILFs, Quinn doesn't count) he's ever slept with have been the kind to take charge and tell him what they want him to do, he's been her bitch for his entire high school career and never complained once, and he's had to be the 'man of the house' since his dad ditched them in second grade, he wants someone else to take control. If he was in a gay relationship he'd totally be either a) someone's bottom bitch or b) obeying all the demands of his partner and Santana always knew it. Apparently he hadn't figured it out yet: he wanted someone else in control. She'd always dictated his life; he hadn't realized that he'd been letting her because he wanted her to. That night was truly not about sex, it was about holding on to a constant when your world seemed to turn itself inside out because you weren't who or what you'd always thought you were.

One of the toughest things she ever did was admit that she wasn't entirely straight. Admit that the thing with Brittany was serious and more real than practically all the rest of the sex she'd ever had, that this time there were actual feelings involved. Now there was one more, real, thing for her father to yell at her about, or to hit her for. He would try to 'beat the gay out' of her, he was that kind of man. So after basically begging Brit to come back to her, crying in front of someone who wasn't Noah, and being rejected, she went back to her main boy for comfort. That night when they lounged in his room watching RENT, 'cause it was Noah's go to film about gay people, and wasn't that sad. When he tried to say at least now she was being true to herself even if she wasn't out to anyone else she snapped at him and yelled about how he wasn't just in the closet she'd built the fucking closet around him and thrown away the key. An hour later when she'd calmed down and he was still there ready to hug her and forgive her she knew she really deserved the name Satan. That night was obviously not about sex, it was about holding on to someone who understood all that was going wrong in her world.

Even the bitchiest and most badass of people need someone to turn to, and it had never really been about sex with them. They were friends, best friends, always and forever.


PS: This is not how I see their actual relationship on the show at all, but wouldn't it be cool if their friendship were this close, at least somewhat.