HEY!, so this is my first multi chaptered fic ever. and it's about what i think would happen once the boys arrived home. I hooope you like it.

After running through the jungle- again- with no orientation, just seeing wet plants and hearing the thunders exploding in the space that had once been silent, the fair-haired boy woke up.

He'd had one of those nightmares that used to haunt him, the ones where he unconsciously went back to that place that he had wished to forget. Normally after having these nightmares, he would sit on the bed trying to catch his breath and once he'd done it, he would go to the kitchen and get some water. But this time he stood still, just waiting for his heart to calm down and once he was okay, he would immediately go back to sleep so he could have another nightmare.

Ralph knew the process, and tonight he just wanted to sleep.

His situation had improved, tough. on the first days he didn't even dare to sleep, because he thought that when he'd wake up, the room would've disappeared and everything would've been his imagination, so he would be laying on a pile of crunchy leafs… so uncomfortable. Eventually he understood that it wasn't a dream and he could sleep with no fear, then the nightmares began, and so did the memories that caused him to wake up crying and screaming, and the only thing that could calm him down was his mother entering the room and saying it would be okay, that was the only good thing about nights, his mother's bright eyes staring at him, still surprised to see him.

Ralph was home now, lying on a comfortable, warm bed, and had curtains that covered the hideous sun light making it nice to sleep, so that the sun wasn't his daily-alarm anymore.

He had a shower and clean clothes, and nothing could be better than being in his beloved civilization. Ralph sighed and ran a hand through his shortened blond hair, which tended to fall gracefully over his forehead in a clean way, not that dirty-savage way anymore. And putting his thoughts about all the things he had, aside, he said to himself the thing he used to say to himself since the moment he got home:

"It's my fault"

Again, he ran a hand through his hair and repeated the sentence mentally. He'd soon turn 13 years old, and as people say, a boy is considered a teenager once he turns 13. So,-he thought. - His childhood was about to end, or at least it was about to OFICIALLY end, for deep inside, his childhood had ended one night, a long time ago. The night of Jack's big feast, the night of Simon's death, the night his life had changed forever. So as long as he concerned, he was a full grown-up man. Not even a teenager. He felt like he was 30.

Tears rolled down his pale cheeks, but he didn't mind. Ralph had lost the fear of being seen crying, he wasn't even ashamed of it. And now that he remembered that night, and how things had turned all against him back then, he cried, and cried, and cried because it was not fair.

It was not fair that now, while he was comfortable in his beloved civilization with rules and punishments for the sinners, Simon and Piggy – who deserved it the most – were now part of the ocean in a world where the savage would win above all, and where a sin would be taken as a goal.

No matter what Ralph did, every time he remembered it, it was hard for him not to think it was, in part, his fault, so his mind got full of thoughts and questions, "I should've known it", "If I would've kept Piggy from them", "If I would've stopped them when we – them… attacked Simon", "If I would've recognized his screams" .If I.., if I, if I … but no, there was nothing to do, it all was done. And the worst part was that he knew that Jack –wherever he was now- didn't care at all. No, Jack Merridew wasn't the remorseful kind of boy. Jack didn't regret and Jack didn't feel guilt about anything. Because all he was, was the savage leader of a group of boys with no aspirations, and no hopes.

It was ironic that it was only some days after the night of the feast that they were rescued. If they'd waited just a couple of days, just a couple of days – he thought- if they had controlled themselves and if they had worried for keeping the signal fire on, instead of hunting pigs… maybe now everybody would've returned, including Simon and Piggy

Of course, Ralph knew deep inside, that without the two sacrifices of his friends, the others wouldn't have chased him in that never-ending hunt that made Jack fire up the island, and that eventually, that fire, was the signal fire that brought his own salvation. His little fire had always been insignificant and useless; it wasn't anything the outside world could care enough about.

Logically, non of that meant nothing to Jack, Ralph closed his eyes and had a little trip to the past as his mind traveled to that day, the day they finally got home…..

how was it? did you like it? I know it isnt that great, but it will get better, next chapter comes with a flashback :) please review