CHAPTER 1
Here I am driving to the one town that I have always wanted to run from as I was growing up. And now twelve years later here I am willingly returning. Damn men, you know sometimes they really are good for nothing but trouble with a capital T and bring drama in to your life. Really people, who knew that at the tender young age of thirty I of all people would be saying that yes I am a great doctor at an amazing hospital but I am divorced and moving to my hometown and starting over completely and willingly moving in with my aging Nana Elaine Hanes . My own mother and I are no longer on the greatest of speaking terms now. Ever since the divorce from Holden St. James. The divorce was strike one, me asking for the divorce was strike two, and finally deciding to leave my very expensive apartment, amazing job where I was on the fast track to becoming chief of medicine was the last strike in my mother's eyes (I mean if I am to have a career than I better be the best in my field according to my mother). My mother Ellie May Smith-Hanes blames me for not trying harder to make things work between myself and Holden. Although I can't very well in good conscious all the way blame her for her way of thinking, even though I want to. I mean some of it is from the way she was raised and was taught by my Grandma Anna Smith.
My parents have always, I thought had this perfect marriage, they always seemed to be happy to me as they live their life. I guess if my Mother is perfectly content to take care of my Dad and their house then that is her right as wife, mother and woman, right? I really shouldn't judge her for it; it's just not for me. Growing up all I ever wanted was to become a great doctor and to leave Summer Hill, Wisconsin; a small town of about a thousand people give or take a child. It really is a place where everyone knows everyone and their business, and is related to each other in some way or other. Since I wanted out so badly I made sure I did everything in my control and power to make sure that come graduation I had a one way ticket out of my one stop light small country town. I was valedictorian of my high school graduating class of about one hundred people with a GPA of 3.8 on a 4.0 scale. I was offered a full academic scholarship to any college in the country that I wanted to attend, the choice was mine. I chose to attend University of Southern California.
I chose USC, for a couple of reasons actually truth be told it was just one main reason, it was thousands of miles away from my small town in Wisconsin, and is a big city. Well, to me it was a big city in California that was miles away from everything and everyone that I knew. USC was the farthest I could go and be in a warm climate but also was so far away from my Mother and her criticism. College was amazing, not only because it challenged me academically but it was this amazing big city that I had a great time in. I made so many amazing friends and did all this extremely fun and new things that were so far from my comfort zone, and I loved every minute of it. Since I did my undergrad at University of Southern California, did my graduate studies at John Hopkins Medical University and my residency at Bellevue Hospital Center, where I was later offered a job.
I meet Holden Eric St. James when I was a sophomore. I was in the library studying for my economics mid-term since my roommate was entertaining her new guy of the week. Holden was there flirting with some chesty sorority blonde bimbo. He got on my nerves so much that I moved a couple times and found that he was following me around the library. I hated Holden so much; he just got on my nerves and I thought he was some fraternity idiot that I didn't have time for since I wanted to be the next young doctor. Here I was trying to study while he was making so much noise in the library that I couldn't concentrate on what I was doing with my paper. But after talking to him for a while I found that he made me laugh, and he truly seemed to me like this perfect guy. We started dating shortly after that and he treated me like a queen. You know the way a girl always wants her boyfriend to treat her Holden did it and then went over that line with it. Everything that I expected from him he did and then some; Holden was perfect for me or so I thought at first. After graduation everyone who knew Holden before dating me (most of his family) told me that I was the reason that Holden had graduated in the first place. I felt so special and honored that they thought that I was a good influence on him. Holden and I moved to Baltimore so that I could attend John Hopkins and do my graduate studies. After that we moved to New York and Holden had his dream job on Wall Street as a Finance Advisor and since I was doing my residency at Bellevue Hospital Center he had the better paying job. So we got an apartment in Manhattan since it was closer to where he worked and I traveled from lower Manhattan to Bellevue Hospital where I did my internship and graduate studies. Not really that big a deal unless you're like me and dating a psycho that so many of his exs' tried in vain to tell me about. But me, no I didn't listen to any of them and just took it as them being jealous that he wanted to be with me and just looked at how he treated me and what he looked like. Silly me, I so should have listened to them.
When Holden and I got our first apartment together I thought it was so beautiful and one of the most amazing places I had ever lived in. Holden told me that I only loved the place so much because I was from such a small town, even though he had never been there with me on any holiday vacation that I returned home to. It was or is below Holden St. James to go to and be in any small country town. He was or is from a wealthy family, you know lap of luxury, silver spoon in his mouth and all you know but really such a damn shame for him. He had always done that though now as I look back and think of the many memories. Holden would always say to me "Evangeline, honey you need to learn how to act in public with me. I can't have you acting all country bumpkin hillbillyish all the damn time."
Which would in turn piss me off and I would stop talking to him for a while until he made some kind of grand gesture to me in the shape of really expensive jewelry, flowers, a day at the spa or take me shopping for any and everything I wanted. I know that I let him get away with all that damn crap and am partly to blame for my marriage not working out. Then my best friend Jacob Harris would tell me that it wasn't my fault like best friends are supposed to or any part my fault. I would listen to Jacob's advice since he was becoming a psychiatrist. Anyway, now here I am on the interstate heading back to my roots of Wisconsin, to take care of my Nana Hanes since she, I believe is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's but don't really know for positive and won't know until I get there, if I ever do. I looking in to her health will irritate her and she will no doubt tell me I'm making a mole out of a mole hill of her forgetting a few things and that she is just getting older but better safe than sorry I say. You should know how older people are, forgetting things every now and then. Nana Elaine Hanes is now seventy-four years old and I can't help but worry about her living alone in that big old house. She is the woman I was named after and since she is my Dad's mother who lived just a few minutes away from me my whole life I saw her a whole hell of a lot more than I did my Grandma Anna Smith who lives two towns away from where I grew up in this huge house that is a mini mansion.
I love my Nana Elaine, she is my world and I am determined to do any and everything I can to make sure that she is super healthy forever. Damn it I am one hell of a doctor if I do say so. But like I was saying; Holden and I were a great match earlier in our relationship. We actually complemented each other that is until a year after we had been dating and I was in my junior year when we broke up for the first time when I heard from my best friend Jacob, a very credible source I might add that he had saw Holden playing tonsil hockey with some chesty red head in the hallway of my dorm and Holden's hands were no ware to be seen but looked like they were inside said red head's shirt.
I, of course, never having had to deal with something like this ever before and still very independent confronted Holden about who the red head was that he was making out with. Holden being true to form told me that it was none of my business who the girl was and that I should stop having my gay friend spy on him and that I should just trust him. Finally after twenty minutes of fighting and being mean to one another Holden told me that yes he was sleeping with my chesty red head roommate Aubrianna Miller. Of all the stupid sluts on campus he had to have sex with my roommate, for real like there wasn't any other slut that was throwing themselves at him, ugh!
Like I said before Holden and I broke up and I transferred to a single room. Shamelessly and I admit on my part the break-up only lasted for three months though and we were back together. I broke down after all the begging, pleading, and the gifts along with Holden demanding that it would never happen again. I'm still not sure if back then that he meant he wouldn't get caught again or that he wouldn't cheat again. Stupid me, I should have just moved on then and there and left him alone, but no I had to be forgiving and take his crazy psycho butt back in to my life. Two months after getting back together Miss Aubri Miller told Holden that she was six months pregnant and that she had decided to keep the child. Go figure, right? That should have told me then and there that I shouldn't be messing with Holden, but no stubborn stupid me being the small town naive girl I was back then at the tender age of nineteen, I swore that I loved him and that he loved me and that he was the one . I was bound and determined to stick by his side, no matter what happened. I mean Holden had promised me that nothing would happen ever again, right. Later we were told that Aubri had a baby girl and had named her Grace Mari Miller-St. James. Holden now sees her every weekend and a month during the summer since he did not want to take Grace from her mother.
Holden had kept his promise to me for a year. Holden having messed around so much in his first year of college was a year behind and was doing his senior year with me. This time I didn't have to have Jacob tell me anything since I had gone to Holden's place because I had left my laptop charger there and I needed it to finish my homework. I figured it would be fine since Holden had told me that he would be studying for his finance class in the library with some male friends and I had a key to the apartment. But instead of walking into an empty apartment I found him studying biology live on the brunette girl from his finance class on his living room floor. Talk about pissed off and depressed at the same time. I almost failed my mid-terms. You guessed it we broke up once again but this time I swore to anyone who would listen that this time would be different. This time was the end of my relationship with Holden St. James. This time was different I swear because the break up only lasted a week and I had him following me to my classes, camping out in front of my dorm room, and showering me with gifts. Yes, I sold out for expensive jewelry. Holden's always been a very smooth talker, trust me he could sell ice to an Eskimo. Holden would quote love poems to me, and he would tell me that he couldn't be the man he wanted to be with me in his life and wished that he could be the man I wanted him to be. I stupidly believed every line he threw my way and took him back even with the criticism of my friends. Once again three months later Holden found out that Shadow Lane was pregnant and yes you heard me correct the woman's name is Shadow, apparently her parents are some kind of hippy. Shadow showed up unannounced at Holden's apartment telling Holden that she loved him and that she wanted to keep the child and be with him. She was hystical and in tears talking about how pissed her parents were at her and that they disowned her because of the pregnancy Shadow wanted the happily ever after with Holden as her husband and being the daddy to their son, of course she had to be having a boy. Holden told Shadow that he was sorry but that he was in love with me and didn't want to marry her but that he would be there for his son just like he was for his daughter. Later we found out that Shadow had indeed had a boy and she named him after his daddy, Holden Eric St. James the second. and like Grace, Holden has him every weekend (the same as when Grace is there) and a month during the summer.
Holden's dad was so pissed off about Holden having another child that he threatened Holden with taking his trust fund away once again. This was news to me I mean the whole taking away Holden's trust fund and when did he get it back. Later I found out that when I had started dating Holden he had actually been broke, he had messed up his freshmen year so bad that his dad had blocked Holden's trust until he got his grades up and was on the better track into a career that was acceptable. Apparently Mr. St. James had decided that I was a good influence on Holden and had let Holden have access to his trust fund but with the news of a second child Mr. St. James was thinking about cutting Holden off for good, not even the news that the second child was a boy would make him reconsider. Of course Janet St. James had blamed me, like I could or would even consider the option of controlling Holden. I'm not his mother or Holden's keeper and at the time I wasn't even Holden's wife or fiancé.
Holden had talked to his dad and had persuaded him to reconsider the money situation. Holden told his dad that his second child was the very last one and that if everything went according to plan and worked out the way that he wanted he was going to ask me to marry him when we graduated. Yes I understand the complete irony that Holden is now a Finance Advisor when he couldn't even keep his trust fund or handle his own money.
Holden and I graduated together, me with a 4.0 GPA and Holden with a 3.5. Holden wanted to get married right away and I wanted to wait but I got out voted. So Holden and I got married a few months after graduating from USC, and then moved to Baltimore so that I could study at John Hopkins and Holden supported me. We moved to New York since Mr. St. James had pulled a few strings and cashed in a few favors and had gotten Holden his dream job on Wall Street. For the first time everything was working for us and our relationship was great. Holden was waiting on his dad to let him know what was happening with the job situation and if he could pull enough strings to get Holden his dream job or not and I did my undergraduate studies at John Hopkins in Baltimore, Maryland; Holden was amazing. He got a good job and seemed to enjoy his work and didn't cheat (that I know of) all four years there. Then I did my graduate studies at Bellevue Hospital Center where I was able to get my residency done along with the offer for my dream job. We would fight endlessly about how he wanted me standing beside him to support him silently, since I was not able to be at all the parties that he wanted me to attend. I guess that's when he found the secretary to fill my place and be there for him in more ways than I could. I had come home from working a sixteen hour shift at the hospital to find them in the bed that I had picked out.
When I told Holden that I was leaving and moving out he actually laughed at me.
"Evangeline, babe. You have nowhere to go, and no money. How are you going to leave this life I've provided for you? The answer to that is you aren't, so just shut your mouth and deal with it." Holden told me snidely.
I couldn't even think or speak at that moment when I heard him talk to me like that. But I would no longer share the same room as him and moved all my things in to the guest bedroom because he was right I couldn't afford to move out. And Selena Rodriquez no longer wanted anything to do with him since he had lied to her and told her that he was single which was the best lie I had ever heard and trust me I laughed so hard. Selena decided that she was too young to deal with a married man and his issues with his wife; I mean she was only twenty for God's sake common now, really. Nine months later Selena gave birth to Holden's third child, a baby girl. Selena told Holden that she wanted to give the baby up for adoption since she was so young and still was finishing college and everything. Holden was pissed and didn't want to hear about it and decided to take the baby girl, whom he named Charlotte Raylin St. James, home with him. Selena gave up her rights to her daughter trusting that Holden would take care and raise Charlotte. I think Holden truly believed that this child would make me reconsider my life and become a stay at home mom and the wife he wanted, but that didn't work for him either. Holden got angry when I told him that Charlotte was his child not mine and he needed to take care of everything for her because I would not do it. Then he asked me why I had never gotten pregnant since he had never used a condom with me.
So I enlightened him to the facts that when I had found out that Aubrianna Miller was pregnant I went on the depo shot and had been on it since then. I was not about to bring a child in to this crappy messed up situation of our relationship. Holden was so angry and demanded that I get off birth control that instant. He even went as far as scheduling my doctor's appointment and insisting to the doctor that I get off birth control, you know like he has a choice in the matter of whether I get off the shot or not. I was able to talk to the doctor in private and told him about the situation and my doctor was amazing and lied to Holden that he would take me off the depo shot but he really didn't since I did not want to be taken off it and ultimately it was my choice. Mr. James applauded my decision not to have children yet but Mrs. St. James was irritated that I wouldn't tell my husband that I was on birth control in the first place. Oh well Holden and Mrs. St. James would get over or they wouldn't I really didn't care at that point, because I was not having children with someone who cheated on me all the time and just wanted me to wait on him hand and foot. That would happen over my dead body and since I wasn't going to die anytime soon it just plainly wouldn't happen.
Time to stop; I have to use the bathroom and get a few snacks and a drink for the road. What the hell is this gas station about it so looks like one of those run down gas station from a scary movie when the girl always gets killed. Man, I so should have thought this one though before I stopped at this gas station. Damn, I gotta pee though. Let's hope that this place has a clean bathroom inside the building. I headed inside without a second thought.
"Hi." I said glancing around the store.
"Afternoon." The old man said from behind the counter as he watched me.
"The bathroom?" I asked starting to do the potty dance. Man those last few sodas have gone threw me and I was starting to get into trouble here if I didn't find a bathroom right this second.
"Back that way. Follow the signs." The old man said pointing his finger down a hallway at the back of the small store.
I headed towards the bathrooms knowing that if this small town of Garden Town, Ohio, is anything like Summer Hill, Wisconsin, and then the whole town would know that I was here by the time I was finished in the bathroom. Once I finished I headed out to find my Monster drinks that would get me the rest of the drive to Summer Hill and I can't forget my chocolate and the Cheetos that would keep me from starving completely, sine my stop at Hardee's hadn't done anything for me.
On the road again, I was twenty-two when I married Holden Eric St. James. It was a gorgeous wedding where my Dad walked me down the aisle and reluctantly gave me away. My Mother cried the whole time and my Nana Elaine assured me that she had a getaway driver waiting if I decided I wanted to just walk away. How I wished now more than anything that I would have listened to her; but no my stubborn, self-loathing, self really wanted to marry this three time cheating jerk.
I had let Holden believe that he had laid down the law about the birth control and me not being on it anymore. But I stayed on it, hay don't judge it's my body and I can do what I want with it thank you very much. My career was just starting and I wasn't about to have children at twenty-two. I worked over time all the time to finish my residency and internship so that I could start earning my own money. Things were good between me and Holden for over three years then I started getting the felling that he was straying again. It wasn't until Holden and I had been together for almost seven years when Holden finally admitted that he actually had been sleeping with another female. He tried to pull off the whole 'I have a sex addiction, baby' crap with me and the if you would be around and take care of me I wouldn't have to find someone else to take care of my needs sexually, so this must be your fault'. I decided then and there that this was the very last time that I would allow Holden to put me through the stress of him cheating on me and I was going to ask for a divorce. When I first asked he calmly told me no, and that he would give me one over his dead body. I know I should have gotten one after Char was born but let's face it I stuck with him for the pain. Weird, I know but it's the God's honest truth of the whole situation. I guess looking back I was waiting for him to cheat once again so that I really had a reason to leave for good.
Even though Holden was going on thirty-four years old his parents still had the purse strings on his finances, not mine mind you. But this grown ass man who was claiming that he had a sex addiction didn't and couldn't even control a single dime of his own money and not to mention opps yep once again for the people in the back that didn't hear me the first time Holden is a Finance Advisor on Wall Street. Makes you want to invest you money huh! Holden wanted to enter rehab for his sex addiction and for us to go into counseling and Mr. James talked me into giving it a chance and then see what happens. Holden was in rehab for a week, yes I said it seven days and then he checked himself out telling everyone that he was able to help himself and only he can help him. Holden and I went to one counseling session where he told the woman about everything and I promise you everything came out in that one session, where he sat in a chair on one side of the room and I sat on the other. I told her and Holden agreed that he wouldn't give me a divorce only because he did not ask for one and I did not sign a prenuptial agreement and now was able to take all his money and worldly possessions if I so chose to. Holden and I had been sleeping in separate rooms ever since I found him with Selena and before Charlotte was born and were now rarely talking at this point. Holden was so pissed off for about three weeks after the counseling session that he wouldn't even stay in the same room as me for more than a minute. Then, one day I was in the dining room on my laptop looking for apartments that I could actually afford when he walked in and laid a stack of papers next to me. Holden stood next to me for a minute then walked out without even saying anything to me. They were the divorce papers signed and everything. I was so completely stunned that I couldn't do a thing for about ten seconds and then I got up and took my laptop with me to my lawyer's office. My lawyer, Mr. Eugene Rogers, told me that it was the first deal. Everything I ever wanted but one thing. Holden had wanted me to move out of the state of New York as soon as the divorce was final. I asked Mr. Rogers to revise it so that I could stay in New York where I worked and then the negations began. Three days after Holden sat the divorce papers next to me I moved out and into this really cute, much smaller rent controlled one bedroom apartment that was a block away from Bellevue Hospital Center, I might add.
Now here I am just getting off the interstate and on to the road that will lead me into my one horse hometown, and finally to my destination of my Nana Elaine's house, but it was by my choice and six months after the divorce was finalized thank you very much. This was the longest fourteen hour drive ever in my life and I will be so much happier when I am finally sitting at my Nana's house.
"Hello, Evangeline speaking." I said into my Blackberry.
"Eva, finally are you okay babe?" Jacob's paranoid voice demanded form the other end of the phone.
Jacob Harris, my for mentioned gay best friend was back at my place supervising the moving crew as they loaded up my things that would leave tomorrow to head to Summer Hill, Wisconsin.
"Yeah, perfect. Just taking my time and thinking while I drive. Why, what's up?" I asked as I pulled into the truck stop to fill up the tank on my Cadillac Esclade Hybrid.
"Woman do you realize that it's been nearly nine hours since I last heard from you?" Jacob demanded in my ear.
"No, shit. For real? It's really been that long." I said glancing at my dashboard as I sat in my Esclade while I talked to Jacob before I got out.
"Yes, girl. You had me scared to death here daydreaming of you lying lifeless in a ditch or on the side of the road somewhere stranded."
"Alright, Queen. I'm perfectly fine and almost there. It's a fourteen hour drive." I said sliding out of the Esclade and walking to the gas pump so that I could pay at the pump since I no longer needed anything due to me stopping earlier.
"Girl, do not even start with that Queen shit with me. I'm sitting here working out Dean and my schedules out so that we can come out there for a while once you're finally settled at you Grandma's place."
"Jacob, thanks for everything but really that isn't necessary."
"I am your best friend, or rather one of them. And my boyfriend and I are coming out there sometime to see what kind of civilization your now going to live in."
"Jacob, thanks for everything that you've done for me but that really isn't necessary." I said laughing.
"Oh but girl I already miss you and I wanna see where you'll be living. I mean, come on you actually grew up in the country and I wanna see this little town of yours. We'll be there in a week and you cannot stop me."
"Alright then, Jacob. I'll see you in a week then. Bye love." I said hanging up and starting to pump gas finally and knowing that I wouldn't be able to change his mind in coming out here so soon but hopefully Dean would be able to talk him out of traveling to Summer Hill so soon, one could only hope.
My cell was on its last batter signal and would be dying soon if I didn't find my charger and I so did not have a single clue as to where in my car the charger was or that if I would be able to find the car charger. I thought some more as I headed into my little podunk town. Huh, who knew, I could of swore I wouldn't have a signal here and see I have a better signal here than what I did in the middle of Manhattan, New York. Finally, I was in town. Look it's true about something's in small towns don't really change. There's the Ice Cream Shop that I was taken to by Tyler Hordes on my first date ever when I was fifteen and he was sixteen. Tyler's daddy had gotten him this mustang for his birthday and our date was the first time he had drove it since rebuilding the engine. I know this because it was all Tyler would talk about. Oh man, that little farmer boy had a body on him, it was the main reason I let him talk me into the backseat on the hill even though I shut him down before we went too far of course . I wonder what Mr. Tyler looks like now a day, mental note to look Tyler Hordes up and see if he still has all those farmer's muscles. Oh CRAP! Really? I just got into town and there's a cop on my ass with his lights on. Damn! I pulled to the side of the road in front of an abandoned building that had once been Doctor Jones's offices when I was younger. Was I speeding, what the hell is the speed limit again, or did I do something wrong? I didn't think so but I guess I'd find out soon enough."
"Officer, did I do something….. You!" I demanded as I looked into the deep brown eyes of my ex-boyfriend Derek Schaffer, the first guy that I allowed to talk me into the backseat and didn't shut down in the back of his daddy's Lincoln town car, oh the fun time he and I had.
"Well, well. Mrs. St. James. It's nice to see you in town again. Where's that rich husband of yours." Sheriff Schaffer asked grinning at me.
"You did not just pull me over to ask me that, did you?"
"No ma'am I did not. Did you not see that stop sign back there that you ran right through?"
"What stop? Oh that one sorry but no I didn't notice it there. I was… thinking."
"About old times, huh? So really, where's that fancy husband of yours, I see he's not with you again." Officer Schaffer asked again looking into my Esclade like he really hadn't known that Holden and I were now divorced and that I was moving back into town. But he was still standing there waiting for an answer.
"Well, Officer Derek I don't really see how that should interest you since I only ran a stop sign but since you asked so nicely Holden's not my husband anymore and the last names Hanes. I don't really know or care where Holden is either."
"You just comin' home for a visit with your Grandma?"
"Really, like you don't already know. No, Derek I'm not visiting anyone but you already knew that one didn't you? I'm moving back into town and yes, I will be staying with my Nana."
"Well now, never thought I'd live long enough to see Evangeline Hanes move back into this here town again. You working?"
"Not at the moment?"
"What you looking to do here in town? You know, they are hiring at that new woman's clothing store down the street. My Tori could get you a job there if you want."
"You are still country as hell, Derek. I'm a doctor now though. What happened to Doc Jones? He finally let Mrs. Jones talk him into retiring?"
"No, Eva. Mrs. Emma died of breast cancer about six months ago. Doc retired just two months ago and moved out of that there building about a year ago. I know he's still looking for someone to take over the place and his practice here in town." Derek said as he backed up a little so that I could get of the Esclade.
"Maybe I'll go see him tomorrow and see what he has to say about me maybe taking over his practice and his clients." I said as I leaned against the Esclade to watch Derek.
"That'd be mighty white of you, Evangeline Hanes. Well, I outta get a movin on since I don't want my Tori hearing that you and I are trying to get our romance back. You know you being a divorced woman and back in town and all." Derek said laughing as he turned and headed back to his cruiser.
I laughed as I climbed back in the Esclade with a feeling that this may be a good thing and that God was leading me in the right decision of moving back to my hometown. Off to Grandmother's house I go, laughing I got back on Main Street in a lighter mood.
