"It's three in the morning, Rachel."
"I know." Rachel whispered feebly into the phone. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay after… Everything."
Quinn sighed gently. "You have to stop feeling guilty. The crash wasn't your fault."
"But if I had just listened to you and not got married none of this woul-"
"Rachel." Quinn interrupted, firm but gentle. "I don't blame you. You need to forgive yourself.
Quinn was met with silence down the line.
"We both need to sleep now, okay? And I'll see you in the morning when you pick me up. Sweet dreams, Rachel."
"Sweet dreams, Quinn."
"Good morning, Quinn." Rachel smiled her signature dazzling smile at Quinn as she opened the door.
Quinn tried to return the enthusiastic greeting but it was a little too early in the morning for her to meet Rachel's level. She saw Rachel's face fall and she winced. Now wasn't the time for half-hearted greetings. Rachel needed every boost she could get. "Quinn managed to muster up a little more zeal. "How did you sleep?"
Rachel's face brightened. It was worth it.
"I slept well after our conversation, thank you, Quinn. I may not have got the recommended eight hours, but I'm not feeling any worse for it." Replied Rachel, talking at a mile a minute, wheeling Quinn towards her car as she had for the last couple of weeks. "Did you sleep well?"
"I did, thank you." Quinn nodded. In truth, she hadn't. The guilt Rachel felt kept Quinn up most nights. They were only just becoming friends when that academic year had began. Up and until then, she had been awful to Rachel, even though Rachel had done nothing but be there for her when she needed it. If you asked her, Quinn would say she deserved the crash. It was necessary. It put things into perspective. But Rachel did not deserve the guilt she felt. And that made Quinn feel worse for it.
And so, while in hospital, Quinn had made up her mind. She was going to really make an effort to be friends with Rachel. And she was going to try her best to rid Rachel's guilt. After leaving hospital, Rachel had driven Quinn to school every day for a little over two weeks.
The effort Quinn had put into being friends with Rachel was working. It hadn't been long but she truly felt like she had found a friend in Rachel. She was the first person she felt like she could trust and she hoped that Rachel felt the same way about her.
Trying to rid Rachel's guilt wasn't going quite as well. No matter what Quinn said or did, she would always see Rachel glancing over to her when she thought Quinn wasn't looking, eyes full of remorse.
"Will you be performing in glee club this week?" Rachel asked, eyes eager.
Quinn shook her head. "No, I don't think so." She wasn't ready.
Rachel swallowed her disappointment. Her guilt. "There's always next time!" She smiled brightly, hiding behind her smile.
But Quinn saw through it. "That's true!" She played along with Rachel's game, just as bad at hiding what she really meant.
Rachel turned on her heel, ready to enter glee, smile plastered on her face. No-one in the room would know she felt any differently.
"Wait."
Quinn's quiet request stopped Rachel in her tracks. She turned to see Quin unmoved, though now with a genuine tentative smile toying with the corners of her lips.
"Would you want to come back to mine for a movie night?" Quinn prayed Rachel would say yes.
"When?"
"Tonight." Quinn answered quickly. "My mom's out and it would be nice to have a friend to spend the evening with."
"A friend?" Rachel echoed softly.
"Can you come?"
Rachel nodded gingerly.
"Bring pyjamas." Quinn added, rolling past Rachel in her wheelchair. She didn't have to look back to know Rachel now had a real smile on her face.
"I wasn't sure what to bring." Said Rachel when Quinn opened her door to her for the second time that day.
Rachel had brought an entire suitcase.
"Well, I'm sure you won't have forgotten anything." Quinn teased, letting Rachel into her home.
Quinn lead Rachel to her bedroom which was now accessible by a chair lift. "Sorry it takes so long." She regretted saying it as soon as she closed her mouth.
"Not at all." Rachel shook her head, pretending to not feel accountable for that particular recent addition to the Fabray household.
This sleepover was meant to make Rachel feel better, not worse. Quinn cursed inwardly. "I was thinking we could watch Bring It On and see how we go from there."
A smirk creeped onto Rachel's face. "A cheerleading film? How original."
Quinn's heart leapt. It was just the reaction she'd been hoping for you. "You know me. Full of surprises." Quinn lifted herself onto her double bed and patted the space next to her. "Sit."
"With manners like that, how could I refuse?"
"That should have definitely been gay."
Air caught in Quinn's chest and she coughed. "I'm sorry?"
"That should have definitely been gay." Repeated Rachel. "Missy was the one who helped Torrance to see the path that needed to be taken. They clearly had chemistry. Torrance should have ended up with Missy."
Quinn nodded slowly. "That is quite the statement but I'm not going to argue against it." Secretly, Quinn was pleased that Rachel had thought that too. "Would you like to order pizza? There's a place not too far away that delivers and has vegan options."
Rachel pretended not to notice the quick change in conversation. "Sure, sounds good to me."
Quinn didn't know why she agreed to watch Black Swan. Especially not lying next to Rachel.
Rachel didn't know why she suggested she and Quinn should watch Black Swan. Especially not lying next to Quinn.
Quinn was sure that Rachel could hear her heart racing. Rachel's head was resting on Quinn's chest and Quinn was struggling to breathe properly let alone watch the movie. Inviting Rachel for a movie night had seemed like a good idea initially. Now, as her heart seemed to skip a beat and then race to catch up, she wasn't so sure.
She had wanted the two of them to get closer. She just hadn't anticipated that she'd want them to get this much closer.
On one hand, lying like this with Rachel felt right. Quinn felt like she could be herself. She felt as if this was meant to be happening.
On the other hand, lying like this with Rachel filled her with panic. Quinn felt as though she was feeling too much at once yet not enough.
It had been a while since Quinn had liked someone like this. Or even liked someone this much, especially so soon. But there was no denying that what she was feeling was a crush on Rachel.
The doorbell rang. Rachel sat upright. "That'll be the pizza. I'll get it." She jumped off the bed and ran out of the door.
Quinn watched her leave, her chest growing cold with Rachel's absence. It surprised her, but she didn't mind what she was feeling. Nor who she was feeling it for. In fact, for the first time in what felt like forever, Quinn felt at peace with herself.
"Thank you for having me, Quinn."
"It was my pleasure." Replied Quinn. It really was. It had been one of the best night's she'd ever had. "It was nice to see you happier again."
A tear glistened in Rachel's eye. "It was nice to see you happier again too. I hope we can do this again sometime."
Quinn nodded. "I think we could make it a common occurrence."
"I would like that."
"Me too."
"It's your turn to pick a movie." Quinn sighed. "I've chosen it the last two times."
"And I chose it the last three times." Rachel responded.
There was no use in arguing, Quinn had quickly learnt. "Fine." She said. "But you have to keep your eyes on the screen."
"That is the usual way to watch a movie, Quinn."
Quinn raised an eyebrow. "That's not what happened last time."
Quinn smiled at the memory. Rachel had given Quinn free-reign in choosing their film for the second week in a row. Who knew Rachel could give up control so often. Quinn had chosen War Horse, much to Rachel's horror. Even though she knew it was CGI, Rachel found herself cowering into Quinn's shoulder any time an animal was hurt, or was at risk of getting hurt.
She'd missed most of the film.
Rachel didn't mind, though. She was enjoying the movie nights with Quinn. More so than a lot of her dates with Finn. That was over now. She couldn't look at him without feeling the same clench of anguish in her stomach as the one she felt when she found out Quinn had been in a car crash.
Finn wouldn't talk to her. Rachel barely noticed. She spent all her time with Quinn. And if she wasn't with Quinn, she was thinking about her. It had seemed normal until now. But she hadn't thought about anyone this much since she'd been with Finn.
Did Rachel have a crush on Quinn?
Rachel kept her eyes on the screen for most of the movie but didn't really pay much attention. She hoped Quinn wouldn't ask her anything about what was happening. Her mind was preoccupied with something else.
Did Quinn like her?
If Quinn were a boy, the answer would be simple. Quinn invited her to stay at her house at least once a week to watch a movie or two and then they slept together in the same bed, only to wake up each time entangled in the other's limbs.
But Quinn wasn't a boy. So it was a lot more complicated.
Quinn watched the movie she had put on with a blank stare. It seemed that Rachel was actually concentrating on the movie this time. Quinn just hoped she wouldn't ask any questions.
The truth was, it grew harder for Quinn to pay attention to the movies each time Rachel stayed over. They would get to know each other that little bit better, and Rachel would cuddle that little bit closer. The closer she got, the harder Quinn found it to focus on anything else.
Something felt different this time. Quinn couldn't place her finger on it but there had been a shift in the atmosphere.
"I don't think I want to keep my eyes on the screen anymore." Rachel pushed herself up so she was sitting upright, facing Quinn. "I can't focus."
"Oh?" Quinn turned to face Rachel more comfortably. "I can't focus either." Quinn's eyes flickered from Rachel's eyes to her lips and back again. She hoped the darkness of the room had masked her gaze.
It hadn't. Rachel had noticed and knew exactly what the glance meant. "I want to kiss you." Rachel said, her voice shaking slightly.
"I want to kiss you too." Quinn replied breathlessly, leaning forwards.
Rachel closed the gap between them, gently capturing Quinn's lips in a short kiss. "I think I prefer this to the movie."
"Me too." Quinn tucked a strand of Rachel's hair behind her ear and leaned forward again, letting Rachel close the gap between them once more. This time, Quinn let her hand rest on Rachel's cheek, her thumb softly grazing her cheekbone, deepening the kiss.
"I can't believe you're taking me to the movies for our first date."
"Stop complaining." Rachel teased. "You love it. Plus the only reason we're having a first date is because of movies."
"But when we watch those movies I can kiss you whenever I want."
"I don't kiss on first dates."
Quinn just groaned.
"You can't be serious."
"I told you earlier, Quinn. I don't kiss on first dates."
"But we've kissed before!" Quinn protested.
"It's a matter of principle." Stated Rachel. "But if it makes you feel any better, I want to kiss you too." Rachel gave Quinn a chaste peck on the cheek before walking back to her car. "Sweet dreams, Quinn."
Quinn shook her head fondly. "Sweet dreams, Rachel. Message me when you get home safely."
"I can't believe it's been a month since our first date." Quinn said wistfully as Rachel pushed her wheelchair around the park.
"Time really has flown by." Rachel agreed. "And look at us now, on a walk on a brisk Spring day. Who would've thought we'd be where we are."
"I wouldn't say we were on a walk." Quinn gestured to the wheelchair she was sat in.
Rachel laughed.
Quinn grinned. Rachel's laugh held no air of guilt. They had made it. Quinn and Rachel were closer than Quinn had ever imagined, and Rachel was finally able to live without guilt. Life was going well.
"But yes." Quinn concurred. "If you'd told me six months ago that we'd be a happy couple, I would have told you to shut up and marry Finn right that very moment."
"I'm glad I didn't marry Finn." Rachel admitted.
"Me too."
"Quinn?" Rachel lightly prodded Quinn's shoulder so she would turn to face her.
"It's three in the morning, Rachel." Quinn shuffled around in the bed so she could see Rachel.
"I know." Rachel whispered. "I love you."
A smile spread across Quinn's face and she hoped Rachel could see it through the darkness. "I love you too."
