-Flashback-

The day after Steela's death was a day of mourning for everyone, Ahsoka could tell. Understandably, Lux was almost as inconsolable as Saw.

After her funeral, where he also announced his intentions to join the Republic as Onderon's new senator, Ahsoka watched him slip away from the crowds. Stealthily, she followed him until he stopped at his apartment, where he stood alone on the balcony, looking out over his planet.

His home.

"Thank you, Ahsoka."He said, without turning to where she sat atop the roof. "For helping me free my home."

She hopped down to join him. "I couldn't refuse, even if I wanted to." She admitted. "You're my friend, Lux, one of the few that I can call my most trusted."

"Just a friend?"He asked, turning his head so that his handsome face revealed the half-smile on it. His expression made her immediately feel guilty.

"Lux. I'm a Jedi. I can't just admit my feelings for you... even if they do exist."

"And I'm a senator." He looked again to Onderon, to the sunset. "I'm expected to marry well. I won't be lucky enough to find true love."

Ahsoka knew full well his unspoken words: I already have.

"You wouldn't have come for me unless you had something to say."

"I do... I wanted to say I was sorry."

"Don't apologize for Steela. Not again. I can't bear you thinking you are responsible for her death. Because you aren't."

"Lux, there are rumours going about that I meant to kill her!" Ahsoka exclaimed, incredulous. "Even if it was an accident- I can never take the deaths of others lightly. Especially when they mean something to someone else."

"I can talk to Saw, once he's calmed down. The rumours will stop."

"But her death cannot be undone." Ahsoka insisted. "I know what she meant to you, Lux, and for that, I am truly sorry."

For a moment, Lux didn't speak. Then his stormy blue eyes looked at her, sparkling. "Did I fool you?"

She scoffed."What do you mean?"

"I cared for Steela, yes."He explained."But not as greatly as she wished. In truth; I was just trying to see if you would react to all the flirting. I never meant for her to kiss me."

"I find that hard to believe."But deep down, Ahsoka was actually very pleased to hear that.

"Well, it's the truth."

By this time, the sun had set all the way and revealed the full moon in Onderon's sky. It was Ahsoka's last night on Onderon, at least until she went back to the front lines. Obi-Wan and Anakin would be waiting for.

One more night until I may never see Lux again.

"I wish for one night... I could just forget who I was, forget I was a Jedi. Spend time with the people I love, instead." Ahsoka edged a bit closer to Lux, close enough to place her hand over his. "You're not the only one who's doomed to not be able to love...At least you have a chance."

Lux didn't take his hand away. In fact, he turned it palm up so their fingers were then intertwined.

"I love you, Ahsoka. I hope you can still believe me."

"Then you can understand why I can't say it back." She took her hand away, prompting Lux to give her the dissapointed puppy face as she turned to see him. "As a Jedi... I'm not even sure if I know what love is."

Lux tried to say something, but she held up a hand and stopped him. Ahsoka could tell that his breath got faster as she began walking back toward him.

"So I want you to show me." She pleaded, "just for one night... let me forget who I am, why I can't love. Both of us can forget what our separate futures will be like." She found both his hands now and held both of his hands. "I love you too, Lux Bonteri."

Yes, his breathing was definitely getting more shallow as she slowly leaned in. She wasn't going to kiss him like he had she months ago on Carlacc. No, this was Onderon now. They could take their time.

Their lips touched, and hands detached, only to find new points of contact; his on her waist, hers into his hair. It was so different- still impressively soft.

One of his hands moved to what was supposed to be her neck, but jerked her hurt shoulder instead, causing her to wince a bit against him.

"Sorry." Lux breathed, immediately pulling away and looking quite flustered."I-"

Quickly disregarding her pain, Ahsoka put a finger to his lip. "I have one night with you, Lux. And I don't want to ever forget it."

His eyes widened when he realized what she wanted. What she was asking of him.

"Are you sure?"

She leaned in to whisper in his ear a single word of confirmation. And then, with strength that surprised her, picked her up and carried her inside.

ooooooooooo

Ahsoka indeed recieved her wish, in a way she could never have predicted.

Ever since she had begun her apprenticeship as Anakin's padawan, her body had gone through changes as she underwent conditions like extreme workouts and times without food or drink. She also lost a ton of weight. As such, her monthly cycle became... not so monthly, to sum it up.

So when she was two months late and on leave, she didn't think anything of it. Until she was getting sick almost every morning, and acting not herself. One morning, she nearly bit Anakin when he tried to wake her up.

That's when Barriss had given her the diagnosis.

And Ahsoka's entire world changed forever.

oooooooo

In a way, Ahsoka needed to thank Barriss for blaming her as the Temple bomber.

That made her leaving much easier. She had a legitimate reason- one that didn't include her needing to admit that she had gotten pregnant.

One that left her open to returning to Lux, as she'd promised him. Her only promise to him, after the one night they'd spent together.

If the war ends, come back to me. He had pleaded. I will give up my status to be with the woman I love.

Ahsoka hesitated now, with her hand lingering on her abdomen. The baby inside her was hardly even the size of her fist, yet their force signature, as well as their heartbeat, was strong and powerful. So overwhelming that Ahsoka could not even consider ending the precious life inside her.

She could never forgive the Jedi Council's distrust,anyhow.

She had promised Lux she would go back to him. However, she didn't want to put him in the position her return would create. Pregnant with his child- no, she'd rather have the baby first, then return. As nice a man as Lux was, there was still the sliver of doubt inside her that wondered if he would respond poorly... especially as he had asked if they should take contraceptive. She had naïvely refused, thinking human/Togruta conception was impossible.

Well...

The point was, Lux would not be able to refuse a real living baby. A baby that shared half his DNA, or more. A baby that would carry on the Bonteri family line. A baby that would bear Lux's name as their own if Ahsoka managed to bear her lover a son.

Knowing that her Jedi garb was already tight fitting enough without a pregnant belly, Ahsoka had ditched it for looser fitting, more comfortable pants and a maroon tunic. Maybe one day she would wear her jumpsuit again, one day after her baby was delivered.

Ugh, just thinking about how much worse her pregnancy was going to get made a sick feeling rise in her throat, and the long ride in this transport was staring to make her airsick, of all things! Ahsoka Tano, airsick?! That just didn't add up.

She unbuckled her restraint and turned around in her seat, leaning up against the back of the unoccupied seat in front of her and pulled her legs up to her chest. The back of the shuttle was much as the front- hardly filled, and of the occupants an overwhelming majority were Togruta, headed along with her to Shili.

Yes, Shili was where she would settle. Where she would not be an outcast, and maybe, just maybe, be able to start over and rebuild her life in the remaining months until she returned to Onderon,Lux's baby in her arms.