Disclaimer: I don't own a bloody thing you've ever heard of before. In fact, I'm a nineteen-year-old Canadian Male. In other words, I'm about as far from being Jo as possible.

Chapter 1: Happy Birthday, Harry.

"Why me?" Those were the words going through the head of fifteen year old Harry Potter as he arrived at the doorstep of Number 4 Privet Drive and opened the door. The Dursleys were, predictably enough, mortified to see that he had snuck out.

"Where have you been boy? You were told to stay in."

"I know Uncle Vernon, but I-"

"But nothing," Petunia interjected. "What if more Dementors had come here? You know that none of us has a wand to produce a Patronus-" As she had the previous year, Petunia hurriedly covered her mouth, but this time was too much to get by Vernon.

"And how exactly do you know what the spell to get rid of them is called," Vernon asked, suspiciously. "First the Dementoids, Cabana prison and Voldie-thingie last year, and now this Patternius?"

"We'll discuss this later, Vernon. Right now we need to deal with Harry's refusal to follow even simple rules."

"Right. Boy, we listened to those freaks, we treated you well, and all we asked in exchange was for you to stay where we could know you were. We even told you that with a day's notice you could go out if we knew where you were."

Harry thought about where he had been that afternoon. There was no way he could have given them a day's notice on this one, after all he had no way of knowing that the Granger family was moving in to the house at 18 Wisteria Walk before he had received an owl the previous evening from Hermione telling him that all her talk about moving for the past month had, in fact, been serious, that she had moved into her new house, and that she had heard rumours that he had new neighbours. Putting two and two together, along with Hermione's wit, Harry had realised exactly who his new neighbours were. He had gone out that afternoon to give his friend a housewarming.

"I was visiting a friend from Hogwa- from my school."

"You know bloody well that you're the only one of those freaks in Little Whinging," Vernon replied, "besides certain suspicions I have." And he cast a long glare at his wife.

"She just moved in yesterday. She's the only witch in her family; her parents are both Mugg- non-magical."

"I see where this is all coming from," Dudley said, finally making his oversized presence known. "Little Harry didn't want to tell mum and dad that he was visiting his little whore of a girlfriend. It's Something Granger, right?" At this statement, Harry and Vernon both looked up in suspicion.

"How the hell do you know that name," Vernon asked nervously.

"I came across some old letters from her," Dudley said quickly. Vernon seemed placated by this explanation. Harry, however, was starting to connect things in his head. Colin and Dennis Creevy were Muggleborn brothers in Hogwarts, meaning that it wasn't unheard of for muggle families to have multiple magical offspring, in his fourth year Harry had received a single tissue from his aunt for Christmas shortly after Rita Skeeter's article about him crying over his dead mother had been published, in his fifth year there was the her extensive knowledge of Dementors and Azkaban and Dumbledore's message about 'his last', then the recent Patronus revelation and now Dudley somehow knew the contents of Skeeter's second article from the year of the Triwizard Tournament.

-----

That night, Harry wasn't able to sleep over the Dursleys' loud argument. "Why me," he said, "why couldn't some other poor sap have been the boy-who- lived-to-lose-everyone-around-him?" He sighed as the clock passed midnight. "I wish that some other bastard had to live life with this Boy- Who-Lived crap and the Prophecy hanging over him." Harry didn't notice the shooting star flying by outside and even forgot that it had been July thirtieth that day. Harry didn't even realise that he had made a wish at the exact second his birthday had arrived. Harry finally got to sleep minutes after.

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"Wakey wakey, sleepy head." Harry awoke to the sound of an unfamiliar voice of a young girl. The first thing he noticed was that, for the first time in months, he couldn't feel any pain in his scar. The second thing he realised, upon touching his forehead, was that the reason he couldn't feel any pain in his scar was because he didn't have the scar. One thing still bothered him, though.

"Who are you?"

"What are you talking about, Harry? Don't you remember me? Don't you recognize your own sister?"

"No, I had a really strange dream and I'm still kind of disoriented. Do you mind reminding me of your name?"

"Okay, Harry, it's your birthday, not April Fools," the girl said, "but I'll play along anyways. I'm Samantha, your sister. Happy eleventh birthday, big brother. Now hurry up before dad and Sirius decide to wake you up their own way."

Harry was shocked. His parents were still alive, Sirius Black was alive and a free man, he had a sister, and the scar was gone. He had gotten his wish; he wasn't the Boy Who Lived anymore. He was just an ordinary boy, ready to begin his education at Hogwarts. Harry reacted to this revelation the only way he could. He fainted.

As Harry awoke, memories from his new life came back to him. Samantha or Sam, as she preferred to be called, was, in fact, his sister. She was a year younger than him, born at midnight on December twelfth. She had her mother's looks right down to the green eyes, which seemed to be a dominant trait. His mother was the Potions Mistress at Hogwarts. His father and the other Marauders – which didn't include Pettigrew (who had never been accepted), but Snape whose nickname was Hood and form was a King Cobra – owned a joke shop that would put Zonko's to shame. Lily was completely unaware, but James and the other Marauders were secretly teaching Harry and his best friends to be the next great pranksters at Hogwarts.

Harry's best friends were Ron, Hermione, and Draco Malfoy, who was the new Boy-Who-Lived. After Draco's parents had been killed, he had gone to live with his closest, living, non-Death Eater relative, Sirius. As a result of this, he hadn't been brought up indoctrinated in Pureblood mania and was, in fact, a nice boy. They had met Hermione two years ago when she had somehow wound up in Diagon Alley and looked completely lost, and they had gotten on well, although her bookishness did occasionally get on the boys' nerves.

"Hurry up, or we'll eat all the food." Harry was snapped out of his new memories by Sam's threat. He knew she wouldn't be able to, for his birthday his mother made enough food to feed an army, but he still hurriedly got dressed and rushed down the stairs.

"About time you got up, Harry," said Ron, who had already arrived along with the rest of the Junior Marauders, "we were about to start without you."

After breakfast Harry opened the gifts from his friends. The first one he picked up was Hermione's, which was heavy and rectangular. "Three guesses what it is," Draco said under his breath, "and the first two don't count. Harry unwrapped the package to see the words 'Hogwarts: A History' written across the top of a large book.

"I hope you like it, Harry," Hermione began. "I haven't read it myself yet, but from what Blaise tells me it's supposed to be fascinating, and you know how I trust his word on books." Blaise Zabini, Harry discovered in his new memories, was more of a bookworm than Hermione. Unsurprisingly, he was her best friend, if only because of their common interest. Looking at the book, Harry was barely able to keep himself from laughing, remembering all the times that Hermione had quoted to him from that very book during the five years at Hogwarts that hadn't happened in this world.

"Mine next," Ron said, shoving the package into Harry's arms. Harry unwrapped it to find a chest containing a full set of Quidditch balls. "I figured," Ron said as Harry opened the chest to get a look at the balls, "that with that unused pitch out back you might appreciate this." Harry closed the chest back up and thanked Ron.

Finally, Harry opened Draco's package. He was absolutely shocked to unwrap a Nimbus 2000 broomstick. "Why are you so surprised," Draco asked. "You remember that I got them for Ron and Herms on their birthdays, don't you?" More memories came into Harry's head. Draco had indeed given the other two Nimbus broomsticks on their respective birthdays. Hermione in this world, unlike the Hermione he knew, had taken to flying like a duck to water. Harry also remembered when Draco had started referring to Hermione as 'Herms' because he was having trouble pronouncing her name. Of course, Draco had an easier time now, but the name had kind of stuck.

"Hurry it up you four," Sam yelled to them. "The Marauders are taking us to Diagon Alley today, remember?" Sam grabbed a handful of Floo powder, stepped into the fireplace, shouted out "Magical Mischief," and vanished in green flames. One by one, Hermione, Draco and Ron followed her lead until, at last, it was Harry's turn.

Harry took a handful of the powder and stepped into the fireplace. In this world, he had apparently used Floo Powder correctly too many times to count, but in the world he knew he had only used it twice, and once it had taken him to Knockturn Alley, a place that decent wizards and witches avoided as if their lives depended on it.

Harry threw the powder and shouted out "Magical Mayhem." Before Harry could even realize his mistake, he found himself coming out of a fireplace in a dodgy-looking bookshop. Harry ducked out of sight as a woman he recognized as Bellatrix Lestrange picked up a book on Blood Magic. Harry covered his forehead, only to remember that no one knew who Harry Potter was in this world and he didn't have his scar.

Harry walked casually out the door and found himself in a deserted alley. He turned back, but the door was gone. There were no other doors, and the only thing on the ground was a bunch of rubbish. Harry started thinking, how would all this rubbish get here unless- unless they were Portkeys. Harry looked through the rubbish and eventually found something that he thought might take him where he needed to go, an empty package of Dungbombs with "M" across the front. Harry grabbed the box and immediately felt a familiar tug at his navel.

"We were wondering when you'd turn up, Harry," the voice of Sirius Black said from behind Harry. Harry turned around to see his friends and the Marauders.

"What took you so long, Harry," Sam asked him.

"I said the wrong word and wound up in some strange bookshop."

"Ah," said a smiling James Potter, "got yourself into old Grindy's in Etern Alley, did you?"

"Grindy? As in Grindel-"Ron covered Harry's mouth before he could finish.

"Yes, Harry, as in him, and I really wish you and Draco weren't so bloody cavalier with the names of dark lords."

"But Dumbledore defeated him almost fifty years ago, how can he be alive and owning a dark magic bookshop?"

"He's still alive," Snape (Severus, Harry reminded himself) said, "but since Dumbledore defeated him he just barely has more power than a Squib."

"Hood," James said to Severus, "one of us is going to have to stay behind while we take the Next Generation out shopping."

"Fine, Prongs, I'll stay behind and watch for any customers." And the group left the shop and headed out into the alley.

After a stop in Gringotts, where Harry briefly caught sight of Hagrid (probably going to pick up the Philosopher's Stone) before getting into the cart with the others, the group were trying to decide how to blow the money they had just gotten. The conversation turned into bickering, and the bickering to a loud argument. Finally, Sirius said "Enough! Since it's Harry's birthday, he gets to choose where we go first."

"So, where to first," Remus asked.

Harry thought for a minute before replying "Eyelops Owl Emporium."

They headed into the shop, where Harry found himself surrounded by Eagle Owls, Great Horned Owls, Barn Owls, and every other kind of owl you can imagine. Harry looked around before he recognized the owl he was looking for; the Snowy Owl that he knew from his world as Hedwig. Harry took her up to the front and James paid for her. The cage then vanished due to a Homing Charm placed by Sirius. Harry laughed slightly as he saw, before it vanished, that Ron had picked up a hyperactive Barn Owl, while Draco had picked out a majestic Eagle Owl.

"Alright," Remus said, "where to now?"

Hermione immediately spoke up. "Flourish and Blotts." Harry, Ron and Draco groaned. "Honestly, it wouldn't kill you to do something you have to before-"

"Silencio." Sirius cast a silencing charm on Hermione. "Now, did anyone hear anything?"

"No," was the unanimous response from the children who could still speak.

"Then there wouldn't be any objections to stopping in at the Magical Menagerie, would there?"

Again, the reply was a resounding "No". Sirius took the charm off Hermione as the group headed towards the shop.

"That was a dirty trick Sirius Black."

"You expected anything less from the sneakiest of the Marauders?"

-----DM-----

So, this is the first chapter. It establishes some of the most major changes that Harry's wish caused. I know it's still Harry-centric, but that will change soon.

It may seem that a bit too much is different for a simple "one thing is changed" AU, but the changes will all make sense in the end. Well, actually, by the end of book 3, but you know what I mean. Now.

Not much to say at this point, except that I, like all authors, thrive on reviews, as it allows me to know that people are reading. Reviews not asking for major plot-points will be answered. Flames will be ignored or mocked, depending on the quality.

To keep you reading, I present a PREVIEW OF THE NEXT CHAPTER

-----DM-----

"Harry, Draco, what do you find so bloody fascinating about those snakes," Ron asked.

Harry turned to face Ron. "You wouldn't understand, Ron. Believe me."

"Try me."

Draco smirked at Ron, then said, "If you must know, we were in the middle of a rather interesting conversation." This stopped Ron dead in his tracks.

"You're a- you're both- you were-"Ron suddenly took a great interest in the half-Kneasel kittens.

-----DM-----

Isn't that interesting? No? Well, I tried. Also in the next chapter: wand shopping. Don't miss it.