A/N: This is just a one shot about how the TARDIS honors the 10th Doctor at his regeneration by giving him another chance to say goodbye. Dedicated to the amazingly talented David Tennant.
Disclaimer: I do not own the wonderful Doctor but I do own the tears I shed when he regenerated.
The Last Goodbyes
The Doctor's whole body began to glow with a golden light. It was time.
But I'm not ready! There is so much more I can do, so many more people I can save! Even after my reward, I'm not ready to go.
"I don't want to go," the Doctor said in an anguished voice.
Rose, he thought and then burst into golden light. He was gone.
The TARDIS began to mourn him even as she prepared to welcome the new Doctor. She conspired with time, two different universes, and the Bad Wolf to let everyone who mattered know of the regeneration and let her old Doctor give out a few last minute gifts – his very final reward from his adoring TARDIS. She ignored the warning lights telling her that if she used her energy to do this, she would not have enough energy to shield herself from the regeneration, and would be severely damaged. It didn't matter – he was worth it.
Twelve blocks away and six years in the future, Wilfred Mott watched the stars as he did almost every night. Just as the Doctor burst into light, Wilf felt a sudden wave of sadness come over him. Inexplicably, he thought of the last time he had seen the Doctor and how sad the Doctor had looked. Earlier, the Doctor had said he was dying, but he had looked fine, besides the sadness. Why am I thinking this? Wilf then wondered.
He looked back into his telescope and saw something very strange. In the sky he had been watching for years, he saw a new group of stars that he knew hadn't been there just a second ago. Wilf bent down to consult his star chart, puzzled, and there it was – that group of stars, as though it had always been there even thought he knew it hadn't. It was claiming to be a constellation called "The Lonely God." Again, Wilf inexplicably thought of the Doctor.
God bless you, Doctor, wherever you are.
Donna Noble-Temple (or Temple-Noble – they kept switching back and forth) was dreaming a pleasant dream – in it she had just found out about the new Pringles flavor. Suddenly, a strange man in a brown trench coat walked into her room full of Pringles and held out his hand to her.
"Run!" he said. And she did. She ran and suddenly, she was in a world covered with snow. She tried to stop and enjoy the view, but the strange man tugged her hand. She was about to protest when she noticed a giant – no, a flippn' enormous wasp flying right towards them and Donna decided running would be more productive than protesting. They had almost out run the wasp when an army of people who looked like baked potatoes came charging at them from the other direction.
"Exterminate!" Donna and the man turned toward the sound and saw inexplicably terrifying salt shakers gliding towards them. They were completely surrounded by monsters and Donna realized she had never been more terrified in her entire life. A strange thought popped into her head – the strange man beside her could fix this. He could save them. She turned to the man to see what he was going to do. He turned his face away from the salt shaker things, winked cheekily at her, and pulled a green water pistol out of his coat pocket.
"A water pistol?" Donna exclaimed. "Fat lot of good you are!" She turned back to look at their enemies just in time to see one of the salt shakers shoot something (a laser?) at her. Time seemed to stand still and all Donna could do was stare at it, terrified, sure she was going to die. But that strange man stepped in front of her, his body acting as a shield. The laser hit him full in the chest but he didn't fall. Instead, he spoke.
"You know who I am. Leave. I have saved her from you before and you will never hurt her again," and with that, he squirted the first salt shaker with the water pistol. It began to dissolve into golden sparkles which spread to every single other monster until they all dissolved. Then the strange man turned to Donna with a smile.
"You were absolutely brilliant, Donna Noble – did you know that? We were so brilliant together. But our time ended and now my time is ending as well. I'm here to say one very last good bye and give you a gift – the gift of a dream." He kissed her forehead and then collapsed.
Donna was too preoccupied to notice. Sounds and images and names flashed through her head – not new ones, she realized. Old ones. Memories. Her memories.
That strange man – her savior and the savior of so many others. Thousands of little white things floating into the sky – Adimo? No, Adipose! A volcano exploding and people screaming, people crying, people dying. Her savior looking at a lost family and saying, "Come with me." Hideously ugly, yet utterly wonderful creatures looking at her with red eyes and singing her a song. A poisoned sky. A little silver cylinder with a blue light, buzzing, saving her life hundreds of times … sonic screwdriver! The giant wasp chasing her and Agatha Christie telling her not to be silly! A horrible decision to turn right – Bad Wolf – Rose Tyler – the love of … whom? The great blue box, the TARDIS, trying to protect her. Salt shakers really were terrifying – Daleks! People hurting, people sobbing, people dying. People living! All because of … the last Time Lord, the Oncoming Storm, the Bad Wolf's love, the Lonely god – the DOCTOR!
"Doctor!" Donna shouted, coming out of her reverie and kneeling down by her wonderful Doctor. "Oi, Doctor, what's wrong? Don't you dare leave me!"
"The price for saving someone very special's life is my own. I must go – I don't have a choice," the Doctor gasped in pain.
"You saved me," Tears streamed down Donna's cheeks, "so many times and again just now. Oh, Doctor – this is rubbish. I remember everything and you don't deserve to die! Wait … why- I mean, how- but, I'm not supposed to remember!"
"My gift to you – you will remember a dream. You'll remember every one of our adventures but you'll think they were just a fantastic dream. Enjoy them," he said faintly, then groaned. "It … it's time. Eat a banana for me, my DoctorDonna …"
Donna bolted up in bed, tears streaming down her cheeks. The dream was fading away and just as the Doctor had said, Donna now believed that all of her wonderful adventures had simply been dreams - wonderful, terrible dreams she would remember the rest of her life.
And Donna cried silently, so as not to wake her husband. Cried for a man who she thought wasn't real and wished that he was.
Martha Smith-Jones walked down the road to her flat, hand in hand with her husband, Mickey Smith. They were talking about their latest successful mission and laughing about the way the Draconians had looked when they had found themselves surrounded. Then, Martha stopped abruptly, her eyes wide and her laugh silenced. Just off the road, a little past the sidewalk was a blue 1950's police box.
"The TARDIS," Martha whispered, amazed. Then, "I knew it – I knew it! He looked like death the day he knocked out that Santaran and you were real pessimistic, but I told you he'd be fine. Come on, Mickey!" She began to run, laughing. "Maybe he'll give you a dog biscuit!"
"I knew I never shoulda told you the Tin Dog story," Mickey grumbled but followed after her anyway.
Martha ran to the TARDIS, yelling for the Doctor to let her in. "Come on, Doctor! Stop ignoring me!" She started to knock on the door when it opened up and she burst in … to an empty little room, the inside of a police box. This wasn't the TARDIS – it was just a regular old ancient artifact. She stumbled out, horrified, and ran right into Mickey's arms.
"It's not right – that's not the right one. Mickey, that box was never there before, but now, here it is and it's empty. He's gone – I know it. The Doctor's gone," Martha whispered, already beginning to mourn her best friend.
Mickey just held her and thought of a man who had called him a stupid ape and Mickey the Idiot, had torn up his peace, pushed him into dangerous situations, stolen his girl, and yet, had been one of the most wonderful people he had ever known.
He turned his head to look at the police box again but saw nothing – it was gone. Mickey kissed Martha's head and thanked the Doctor for saying good-bye one last time.
Captain Jack Harkness ran around the corner, chasing the gaseous form that had made his past few nights in his hotel room hell. Every time he tried to drown out his sorrows with a bottle or with, ahem, company, this little blue wisp of gas started knocking things together, slamming doors, and dumping buckets of water over him. Well, he had had enough. Normally, he would have solved the problem by seeing how hard it was to kiss gas. But Captain Jack Harkness wasn't in a very good mood for various reasons, namely that almost everyone he cared about had died in the past two years and Alonzo had decided that Jack was not worth a blue poltergeist and while he was still talking to him, was staying away from that hotel room.
So, when the gas had added insult to injury by dumping red paint on Jack's greatcoat, he snapped. The captain wasn't quite sure how one could torture gas for an eternity, but he did have an eternity to figure it out, so that really wasn't an issue. He did, however, have to catch the damn thing first.
Jack turned a corner at breakneck speed, only to stop dead in his tracks as he was confronted by the Doctor. No, not the Doctor, he realized, a likeness of the Doctor made of the blue gas. He was about to speak and ask what the hell it thought it was doing but it spoke first.
"Start doing something useful," the Doctor doppelganger said in an infuriatingly superior voice. "I know what you're dealing with, and doing something – anything – helps. Alcohol doesn't. Why do you think I was always busy?"
"Everyone's dead or dying, and I'm never going to," Jack said flatly. He usually didn't let that get the best of him, but he was tired of fighting back, tired of trying. So, a couple of days ago (strangely, right before the poltergeist showed up), he decided he was giving up the battle, giving in to the depression that was derived from his never ending excistance. He knew he deserved hell, but he was never going to get there, so why not embrace hell on earth?
"I've spent the past few days trying to get you to do something! I finally got you to chase me! And you felt better, didn't you? You felt alive again!" the fake Doctor said with a maniac energy. "Don't let your past or your future weigh you down. Even you, Jack, need to value every minute of your existence, because you can die, Jack. Really, finally die. You can and you will. Not for a little while yet – well, ok, not for a long while, but you are not doomed to live forever. And believe me, no matter how long you live, at the end, you're going to have regrets. Don't let them be as numerous as mine." And with that, the Blue Doctor vanished.
Jack just stood there, a tear sliding down his cheek. "I'm going to die," he whispered. Then, "I'm going to die! Thank you, Doctor!"
He was about to turn around when the Gas Doctor came back. "Oh, and you really should try out the phrase 'Allons-y, Alonso!'" With a wink, he vanished again.
"Good bye, Doctor, for the last time," Jack said mournfully, dozens of regretful thoughts running through his head (chief among them, the thought that he really would have liked to have bought that Doctor a drink and now he'd never have the chance). Then he turned around and walked back down the street, whistling, and marveling at the gift he'd been given by a friend who always took care of his friends in the end.
"Sarah Jane, Sarah Jane," Mr. Smith called out in his computerized voice.
"Mum – Mr. Smith's callin' you!" Luke yelled to Sarah Jane, who ran to the computer as fast as she could.
"What is it, Mr. Smith?" Sarah Jane Smith asked breathlessly. "What's wrong?"
"My scans indicate a reverse in the polarity of the neutron flow in the atmosphere over Kennington, London, detected by a differential magnetic interaction length of the Torchwood Vortex Activity and Energy Transfer Monitoring Coil, caused by a photovoltaic energy conversion in the post optimization stage," Mr. Smith said.
Sarah Jane and Luke stared at Mr. Smith uncomprehendingly for a full minute. Then, Sarah Jane cleared her throat and said, "Ah, well, yes. That does sound interesting. Uh, what does it mean?"
"I am sorry, Sarah Jane. The Doctor has regenerated," Mr. Smith replied almost mournfully.
Luke put his arm around her, as a tear slipped down her cheek.
"No, no it's alright – it has happened before and I knew it was going to happen again soon. I could see it in his face after he saved you, Luke. But, oh, I did like this regeneration and I feel so bad for him – this regeneration loved living so much," Sarah Jane gave a trembling smile. "But, wait! Mr. Smith, the Torchwood coils have not been working for a while. How can they be sending out readings?"
"I am not quite sure, Sarah Jane. Something turned them on for a short time, but they are now offline again. It's almost as if someone wanted the fact of the Doctor's regeneration to be known …"
It's a well known fact (to people who even know about Time Lords) that Time Lords (and Ladies) are telepathic. Jenny did not really know about Time Lords but she did inherit an innate knowledge from her father. So, when she began to notice a strange sound in her head, she didn't worry. She knew, by feel, that it had to be another Time Lord and therefore, her father, the only surviving Time Lord. She also knew, by feel, that he wasn't really in her mind – it was just like she was hearing the echoes of a song that his mind automatically put out. It became something comforting and constant that she could always feel no matter how chaotic the world around her was. She realized that this was what all Time Lords had had with each other – never fading company and song and wondered how her father had coped when they had been destroyed and he had been alone in the silence.
So she was very alarmed when that song changed and faded till it was barely there.
"What's happened?" She asked herself frantically. She probed the song and studied it, trying to come to a conclusion. When she did, it made her cry.
Jenny's father had regenerated. The Doctor had survived but her father was gone, a new man in his place. He was probably a wonderful person, but the man who had cried over what he had thought was her dead body, was gone.
Jenny typed a set of coordinates (that had mysteriously popped into her head) into a vortex manipulator she had stolen from an old human from the 62nd century, and found herself on Woman Wept. Taking a laser screwdriver out that she had found in a junk yard on Earth, she began to carve a monument in the ice to her father, the greatest man she had ever known, that would last through out all eternity.
Far, far, far away in an alternate universe, another Doctor cried out in pain. His head hurt and it felt as though part of himself was dying, which in a way, was true.
Rose Tyler heard that cry from all the way across their bedroom and ran to sit on the bed beside him.
"What's wrong?" she asked, concerned.
"He's gone," her Doctor said quietly as he watched his wife's face. "Not dead – just regenerated, but still gone."
"No," Rose moaned, anguished. She laid her head on her Doctor's shoulder and began to cry her heart out. She cried for the man she had fallen deeper and deeper in love with, the one who had done so much good. She knew the Doctor was once again cheating death (thankfully), but the man she knew was dead and she mourned him. But as she thought about this, a new thought abruptly came into her mind – a new way of thinking that gave her peace and cheered her enough that she was able to smile again. Rose raised her tear streaked face from her husband's shoulder and repeated in a stronger voice, "No. No, he's not gone."
"Rose, love, I can feel it. He was a specific part of me and it's gone now – dead."
"He'll never be gone as long as you're here. You are him, you are the Doctor, and we've got a TARDIS," she proclaimed with a grin, her tongue poking between her teeth. "And as melodramatic as this sounds, even when we're dead and buried, he will continue to live on as long as there are people out there that fight for justice, are slightly crazy, and love bananas, because he is not just a man. He is an idea, an ideal. No, I think that our Doctor, as his Tenth self, your counterpart, is never really gonna die."
A/N: Please Review!
