A/N: Happy anniversary to my very own Natsuki, Tarma Hartley, my wife of seventeen years and the love of my life. Tarma requested a ShizNat story as one of her anniversary presents this year, and I was happy to oblige! (I offered her the choice: get to read the story when I finish it and I post it on our anniversary, or wait to read the story on our anniversary and I post it a few weeks later sometime in August. She took the first option, not being one to wait around in suspense!) In addition, one of Shizuru's lines near the end came out of an exchange between myself and my honorary little sister, Fuyu no Sora, so thanks, Sora!

This story takes place in the "Duran and Kiyohime's Omake Theater" setting, but Kiyo-chan is only mentioned but does not make it on-stage, and Duran gets only a cameo moment, so it's not a "proper" D&KOT story. And it's not really an omake by length, either. Plus, there's a mild whiff of lime here, so I wanted to give it an M rating just to be on the safe side.

~X X X~

Natsuki Kuga was quite busy these days as her high school graduation approached. Even though she'd already settled on taking advantage of the escalator system to go from Fuuka Academy to its associated college and so didn't need to worry about entrance exams, she still had way too much on her hands. Not only had her teachers seemingly decided as one to make her fight for every inch on the road to graduation with papers and tests, but the fact that she wasn't dealing with entrance exams left her at the mercy of those who were. They kept expecting her to do things for them, to use her available time to help out.

"And the worst of it," she complained to her best friend, Mai Tokiha, "is how they go about doing it."

"Oh, how's that?" Mai asked, opening her bento box to reveal an ornate (and delicious-looking) pattern of rice, eggs, sliced vegetables, and fried shrimp.

"They ask nicely."

"I don't...How is that a problem, Natsuki?"

"Because it makes it impossible to say no!"

"You're going to have to explain that a little better."

"It's like, if you were Nao, I'd just reach over and steal one of those yummy-looking shrimp. Unless I thought she was deliberately baiting me and had sprinkled them with ghost-chili powder or something. Which she would do, the spider, but that's what makes it fair game for me to steal her shrimp in the first place."

Mai gave her the look of a woman lamenting her ability to pick friends.

"The twisted logic of your relationship with Nao aside, how does that relate to what we're talking about?"

"It's just, well, if people assumed that my time was theirs to use and they just came up and told me to do whatever, I'd tell them where they could shove their requests, and that would be that. But no! They're all polite and respectful about it! And half of the time it's Yukino who's asking, and she's working herself three times as hard, since she's following Suzushiro to Fuuka too and doesn't have exams, either. So how am I supposed to say no to that, I ask you?"

Mai considered the puzzle for a few minutes.

"You are way different than you were when I first met you."

"I first met you when I was shooting at you, or at least at Mikoto and you were in the way."

"But back then, that was a good way for you to make an accurate first impression."

"Is this some kind of redhead solidarity thing? Nao's not here, so you make insults for her?"

Mai chortled.

"Now, you see, that's exactly what I mean. The old Natsuki definitely didn't have a sense of humor."

"If that's such a good thing, then why am I the butt of all the jokes?"

Mai did not offer a response to what was obviously a rhetorical question, so Natsuki fished her lunch out of her bag.

"What have you got today? I thought you said that Shizuru had early-morning meetings all week."

"She does."

"But you're not eating at the cafeteria?"

"Are you implying that I can't make my own lunch?"

"I'm not so much implying as saying it straight out."

Natsuki glared at her without the slightest effect.

"...It's just leftovers." She opened the box and blinked in surprise. "Huh, I don't remember there being a fortune cookie in here. Shizuru was already gone, so it must have been Kiyohime."

"Your girlfriend's CHILD is making lunch for you now?"

"...She helped."

"And you wonder why people don't expect you to be able to cook?"

"In my defense, I only know one hydra who is better in the kitchen than I am."

"How about dogs?"

"Whose side are you on?"

Mai laughed, clearly insensitive to her friend's plight.

"You ought to check your fortune. You could use some luck at this point."

Natsuki snorted.

"I wish. My fortunes only make Shizuru get lucky."

Mai wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Oooh, do I sense someone with details to spill about last night?"

"Do I ask you what you do with your two boyfriends?"

"No, which admittedly makes you unique among my friends."

Natsuki paused to imagine Chie and Aoi after Mai had stopped trying to choose between Tate and Reito and had decided to keep them both. "Dogs slavering over raw meat" described her impression of their gossip-seeking nicely.

"Then I think that buys me the right to some privacy."

"Pooh. I resent your use of logic. Open your cookie."

Obediently, Natsuki broke open her fortune cookie and began nibbling while she unfolded the slip of paper.

"Hmm."

"What does it say?"

"'Be careful or you could fall for some tricks today,'" she read.

"That sounds ominous."

"Tell me about it."

"And you're not all that good at noticing when people are being sneaky."

"I didn't mean 'tell me about it' literally, Mai."

Mai was not deterred.

"And given who it is that you live with and how she likes to use fortune cookies to persuade you to go to bed with her—though honestly, Natsuki, you can't possibly be arguing very hard if a fortune cookie can make a persuasive argument—then you could be in for some trouble."

"You're right."

"Of course I am. Er...about what?"

Natsuki looked up defiantly, clenching her fist around the slip of paper.

"I'm in charge of my own destiny! And I'm going to go prove it right now!"

"Natsuki?"

She stood upright.

"Sorry, Mai; I'm going to go home now. Would you make excuses for me?"

"All right, but what should I say?"

"Make something up."

"But where are you going?"

Natsuki grinned wolfishly.

"To teach a trickster a lesson."

~X X X~

Shizuru Fujino liked to spend those afternoons when she didn't have class catching up on her studying so that she'd have free time when Natsuki came home from school. She was sprawled across the sofa, surrounded by open textbooks and assigned readings when she heard the front door bang open.

"Natsuki, is that you?"

It was in fact Natsuki. Her girlfriend didn't even pause long enough to put on house slippers, just kicked off her boots and marched into the living room.

"What are you doing home at th—mmmph!"

Shizuru's question was cut off sharply when Natsuki fisted both hands in the front of her shirt, pulled her upright on the couch, and sealed her mouth with a passionate, almost bruising kiss that made her toes curl.

"Ara," Shizuru murmured absently, her head swimming, as Natsuki let her go.

"Any objections?" Natsuki said, giving Shizuru a look that could only be described as ravenous.

"Does Natsuki have to ask?"

"Well, yes, actually."

"Mmn, but Natsuki is very cruel to make such an entrance and then keep me in suspense—ah!"

Her teasing was cut off again, this time by a gasp of surprise as Natsuki swept her up in her arms in a bridal carry.

Duran barely had time to get off the bed and clear the room before Shizuru was deposited firmly in the place he'd occupied and Natsuki covered her body with her own.

~X X X~

An hour and a half later, Shizuru stirred from a tangle of twisted sheets and sweaty, entwined limbs, slowly allowing coherent thought to return from the delirious haze that had occupied her mind.

"Ara, I must come home in the afternoon more often."

"Mmmnf," was Natsuki's response, mostly because her face was buried in a pillow next to Shizuru's shoulder.

"Could you please move your leg? Your knee is pressing down onto my hip."

"I have legs?" Natsuki murmured. "I'm not sure I can feel them."

"You may be right about that. I'm not sure myself."

Despite this uncertainty, Natsuki managed to disentangle herself, rolling off Shizuru and turning onto her side next to her.

"Is my shirt hanging from the light fixture?" Shizuru noticed now that Natsuki's shoulder was no longer blocking her view.

"Um, I think I flung it over my shoulder when I pulled it off of you. I guess I got more height than distance."

"I shall have to be very careful getting it down."

"Is it a favorite?"

"Any piece of clothing that motivates Natsuki to tear it off of me to get beneath is automatically a favorite."

This, as expected, brought a blush to Natsuki's cheeks. The difference between now and the Natsuki of two years ago, though, was that the blush was accompanied by a decidedly smug expression. Given that most of the past ninety minutes were a blur in her memory, Shizuru decided that this was a kind of pride she encouraged in her girlfriend.

"I do wonder, though, what to make of the exciting new forcefulness that has possessed you today."

Natsuki scowled.

"You'll just think it's stupid."

With a complete and utter sincerity that was a little out of character for her, Shizuru said, "There is absolutely nothing that I would consider stupid if it results in my Natsuki being inspired to skip classes so she can come home and thoroughly ravish me."

Natsuki bit her lip, mulling that over and apparently coming to the eminently logical conclusion that Shizuru meant every word of it.

"Kiyohime put a fortune cookie in my lunch."

"It must have been a very interesting fortune, although I am not sure if they are suitable for a restaurant where families often eat."

"Idiot," Natsuki laughed, then reached over and playfully tweaked a nipple as "punishment."

"In all fairness, I usually have to at least point out the innuendo before Natsuki succumbs to the relentless hand of destiny."

"The only relentless hands I succumb to are yours," she said with a scowl.

"Ara, but did that not become Natsuki's fate when she chose to fall in love with me?"

It wasn't only Natsuki who had changed, Shizuru reflected. Two years ago, she'd never have teased Natsuki in that particular way—about sex, often, but not love. She'd have been too bewildered that it was even possible, its reality like something delicate and fragile she was terrified would shatter to dust if she put too much pressure on it. Two years later, it was different. She knew Natsuki wasn't just going through a phase, or getting trust and emotional closeness confused with love after coming out of the shell she'd inhabited since her mother's death. And so, love had become something she could joke about, because she was confident in it.

"You're full of smart-aleck remarks today."

"I am in a very good mood. But Natsuki still has not told me of what lewd messages they're putting in cookies today."

Natsuki shook her head.

"It was nothing like that. Just, 'Be careful, or you could fall for some tricks today,' that's all."

"I do not think that I understand."

"Oh, come on. I know that you still had your fortune cookie left over, and knowing you, you'd find some way to turn whatever pithy bit of wisdom is in it into an excuse to drag me to the nearest horizontal surface and start getting me out of my clothes."

"Ara, in the interest of fairness, that is generally one of my aims on most days regardless of what we are eating."

"I've noticed," Natsuki drawled.

"I should hope so. Well, then?"

"So it got me thinking. We do the same dance. You tease, I complain, you cajole, I gripe, you flirt, I argue, but before I know any better my body is shouting 'go for it!' and my brain is having trouble thinking up reasons not to and we're at it again. So I figured, why do I let myself be seduced? I mean, I almost never tell you 'no,' just some variation on 'try harder.' So I said to myself, screw it—"

"Ara, I believe you meant 'her,' not 'it'?"

"Hush, you. So I said, screw it, I know what I want, so to hell with the games, I'm going to just go and ask for it. I'm allowed to lech after my own girlfriend without shame, dammit."

"I have always subscribed to that theory," Shizuru agreed, sliding her hand down Natsuki's flank.

"Yeah, well, don't be expecting that level of shameless lust just yet."

"A wise master is pleased with every step her pupil takes along the path." And besides, it was fun to seduce Natsuki, to tease her into admitting she was just as much as passionate and sensual a woman as was Shizuru.

"Idiot," Natsuki said affectionately, then leaned over and kissed her girlfriend, her lips soft and gentle this time.

"But it is truly a week for people to learn new things," Shizuru said when their mouths parted.

"Huh? What did you learn?"

"Oh, not me. But Kiyohime has been working very hard in the kitchen, lately."

"That's nice. The better she is, the less embarrassing it is for me that a hydra can cook better than I can."

"As a matter of fact, Mai was teaching her a way to use a mixture of some kind—I believe it had an egg-white base?—that could be used to hold broken pastries back together when heated and set."

"Huh. That sounds like it could be useful, like when you drop the bakery bag and accidentally break a doughnut or...a cookie..."

Shizuru was very careful not to miss the exact moment when it sank in.

It was far too delicious not to savor.

"You...you...how? You set me up?"

"Your fortune did say to beware of tricks. It seemed only fair to warn you."

"At the same time as you were tricking me! Am I that obvious? How on earth did you know how I'd react?"

"I love my Natsuki very much, so I try to understand everything about her as best as I can."

Natsuki groaned.

"I suppose I can't argue with that. I mean, I know you well enough that I should have guessed it was all going too smoothly. You can't even do something as simple as getting ravished without having multiple agendas."

"I will always consider getting ravished by Natsuki to be a sufficient agenda all by itself."

"Yeah, maybe, but I know you, too. You were deliberately encouraging me to think a little bit about why I fuss so much over sex, Miss Wise Master."

She poked Shizuru in the chest to emphasize her point.

"Ara, Natsuki knows that I am a fundamentally lazy person. I prefer to fulfill multiple agendas with everything I do so that I do not have to do the extra work of attending to each goal separately."

"Yeah, well, this time you've gone too far, and now you're going to pay for it."

Shizuru blinked.

"I am?"

"Damn straight. Thanks to you, I skipped out on my afternoon classes for afternoon delights with you. Well, it's not even three o'clock yet, so Miss Fundamentally Lazy Person Fujino, you have a lot of work ahead of you to make up for what you did."

Even as she said it, Natsuki was rolling over, covering Shizuru's body with her own once again, her hand sliding down between Shizuru's legs.

Shizuru decided that this was one time where the right choice was to submit to her chastisement with good grace.