He watched her from his office, the dimmed lighting highlighting her face as he raised his glass of scotch to his lips, quietly appreciating the view. He watched her a lot, it was his secret guilty pleasure, even if he wasn't fully aware of the fact. He couldn't help but notice the frown pulling at her lips, the dimmed lighting in the office, highlighting her flawless features. She was stressed and upset, he knew that, after all, he was ridiculously close to pulling his own hair out, and he and Louis didn't even see eye to eye 99% of the time. But it ran deeper than that, she wouldn't openly admit it, but she had been looking forward to her date all day.
How did he know, when he was only told a couple of hours ago? He was Harvey Specter, reading people was one of his talents, and after a 12 years of knowing one another he knew what every expression, every movement meant, just like she did with him.
He knew that deep down, he had always played a significant part in how her personal life played out. Not because he thought the world revolved around him, even if at times you could question that, but because that's just how she's always been. He never quite understood why a woman as strong, confident and feisty as her would take no shit from the average person, but from him, would go to the ends of the earth, without a single word of resistance.
Harvey was not a stupid man, he knew that he didn't have many friends in this City, that most of his 'friendships' were made on a foundation of IOU's and lies, but with Donna he knew that someone would always be there to have his back. It was a feeling reciprocated, a feeling that had consumed him a little more frequently as of late. Perhaps it all started after Hardman framed her over that stupid memo, where he watched the most important woman in his life, take the bullet to save him, even though they were both innocent. He fought for her, but not hard enough, he knew that, she knew that, and for a minute he was convinced he had screwed everything up.
He needed her, and that scared the living shit out of him. Harvey Specter didn't need anyone, he was a lone wolf, but the thought of working without Donna, living a life where she wasn't by his side throwing sarcastic insults at him, was a life he didn't want to think about.
Words couldn't express, or do justice to the way he felt when he saw her walking into the mock trial about the memo, he felt elated, nervous and scared all at the same time. But it was Louis Litt that caused a shift in their relationship, or at least, an emotional shift for Harvey.
"Donna, do you love Harvey?"
He remembers as clear as day the way her face changed as those words escaped Louis mouth, the fear in her eyes as she stared at him. They had a past, one that neither of them really had a chance to process before they silently forced one another to brush it under the carpet and never speak of it again, a past full of unspoken words and regrets. He remembered how his chest tightened, how his heart race as she opened and closed her mouth trying to formulate a coherent response. Did she love him? Did he want her to love him?
Did he love her?
"It's complicated" she responded and as they exchanged glances, he knew he wasn't the on his own. He wasn't the only one who silently struggled to define their relationship.
But they went back to normal, both of them dating a string of nameless people that in the long run, didn't matter, but he couldn't budge this feeling. A feeling of curiosity, a feeling that only intensified with every passing day, until it was all he ever thought about.
What if he and Donna gave it a go all those years ago? What if they tried now? Would it really ruin everything? Would it be worth breaking the rules...again?
He ran his hand over his face, feeling stupid that he had let his mind drift off, when the whole firm had just taken a massive hit. Louis Litt annoyed the crap out of him, but at the end of the day, he was one of the best goddamn lawyers in the City, and Harvey was going to miss him. He had moved through the ranks alongside Louis, from a first year associate in the bull pen through to junior and then senior partner. Harvey had always felt minutely guilty that he made named partner so quickly, of course, he was largely elated and self involved, but he knew deep down he was no more deserving of the title than Louis.
Donna raised an eyebrow at Harvey, growing increasingly paranoid as he blankly stared at her. She waved her hand in the attempt to knock him out of his daze, but he didn't even flinch. She sighed, pushing her chair away from her desk, quietly straightening her dress as she sauntered into his office. He quickly shook his head, startled at the presence before him, a small frown forming on his lips.
"Harvey do you need anything? You were staring off into space, i thought you were having a stroke."
Harvey rolled his eyes as she smirked, a certain sadness evident in her voice, even though the comment was laced with sarcasm. "I'm fine" he dismissed, his eyes flickering between Louis resignation letter on his desk and her."I'm sorry you didn't get to go on your date, Donna" he added sincerely.
She gave him a sad smile in assurance that it didn't bother her, but it did, but work always came first, Harvey always came first. It was an unspoken rule she never wanted to break.
"It's okay Harvey, you come first."
"Donna-"
"Honestly Harvey, don't worry about it, these things happen, it's been a tough day on all of us"
His eyes dropped to his desk, guilt bubbling in the pit of his stomach before an idea hit him. "Let me make it up to you."
She scoffed out a laugh, giving him a polite smile as she sat opposite him, extending her legs until they were resting on the table. "You've already fulfilled your handbag quota for the month Specter, any more and people will think you're my sugardaddy."
Harvey gasped, faking offence "I'm 18 months older than you, I am not a sugardaddy."
"But I don't look a day over 25" she countered, feeling smug.
"Yeah right" he shook his head "But i do feel bad, please let me make up for tonight."
She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, not quite sure why he cared so much, and what he could do to change the fact her date got cancelled, these things happen. "What do you suggest?" she asked.
"Let me take you on your date tonight, I know it's late and it's not exactly the same, but we could still catch a bite to eat somewhere, or whatever, it's up to you."
She put her legs down as she leant forward, not quite sure if she heard the man correctly, sounding far too nonchalant for it to be correct. "I'm sorry, come again?"
He half shrugged "let me take you out."
"On a date?" she had to ask again, it not sinking in.
"Sure, i'll be your rebound date."
She cocked her head to one side, conflicted. Part of her wanting to burst into hysterical laughter, another part of her wanted to check his temperature and call an ambulance, but it was the remaining part of her that voiced her response "Okay."
Her stomach flipped uneasily as his face lit up at her response as Harvey clapped his hands together "Great. Give me 10 and i'll meet you in the lobby?" She nodded wordlessly, getting up off the sofa, speedily walking away to grab her purse. Her eyes were fixed on the corridor before her, her legs carrying her down the familiar route at a speed that could easily cause her to twist her ankle in her expensive Louboutins with one false move. She frowned as she stopped outside Rachel's empty office, hoping that she would still be in the office, in desperate need for a girl to girl pep talk. "Fuck" she muttered to herself out loud, looking around the deserted office, knowing that it was a long shot for Rachel still to be here, especially since her and Mike are still trying to work things out. Sighing loudly, she entered the elevator, wondering what the hell she had just agreed to.
"M'lady" he announced, bowing slightly as he extended his arm towards her, allowing her to loop her arm with his as he guided the pair of them towards the familiar black Lexus.
"Harvey, it's late, why did you call Ray?" she felt bad as she slipped into the back of his car, knowing that he would much rather be sleeping in bed alongside his wife than playing taxi service to two overworked sarcastic spinsters like them.
"Good evening Miss Donna" Ray greeted with a wide smile, looking over his shoulder at her.
"Hi Ray" she grinned "I'm sorry this one" she signalled to the man sitting next to her "called you, had i known, i would have made him take a cab"
Harvey rolled his eyes as Ray replied "Don't you worry, he knows the rules, he's paying me triple."
Donna laughed as Harvey objected "Err, we agreed double."
"And your negotiation skills aren't as good as you make out Mr Specter, so triple it is" Harvey sighed in defeat, a small smile playing on his lips, letting Ray have his way.
"Ray, you still good to take us to the place i spoke to you about on the phone?"
Ray nodded as Donna's curiosity peaked "Of course."
She stared out the window, watching the illuminated streets of New York City pass by her, searching for familiar markers, in the hope that she could figure out where Harvey was taking her. "Where are we going?" she finally asked, giving up as she looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh i'm just kidnapping you, our final destination isn't relevant."
She rolled her eyes "Couldn't you have given me a little notice? I would have made sure my Facebook profile picture was flawless, instead of journalists and the national news using the one of me the morning after i had been violated by the devil Tequila."
"I think you look good in that one" he protested with a smirk.
"Yeah but" she started "when George Clooney and Channing Tatum inevitably make a video plea for my safe return, i'd like them to use a sophisticated photo of me"
"You're ridiculous" he said, looking out the window as the car pulled up "and we are here." He quickly slipped out of the car, walking around to her side as he opened, taking her hand. She looked around, worried that Harvey had given Ray the wrong directions, but the way he eagerly dragged her across the street suggested otherwise. He pushed open the doors of a rundown looking building, letting Donna through first as the faint sound of music, filled their ears. She looked back at him in question, as a wide grin formed on his face, his body instantly relaxing, as if he were home.
He led her down a narrow staircase as the music increased in volume, the traditional decor somewhat comforting to him. He stopped outside the final set of doors, grabbing her hand excitedly, interlocking their fingers together. She gulped, ignoring the feeling that shot up her arm as a result of the sudden contact. "I've never taken anyone here before" he admitted, his expression faltering, nervousness replacing his previous look of excitement.
"What is this place?"
"Take a look for yourself" he pushed open the door as she smiled, her lips pursed together. She looked around in awe, a wave of emotion washing over her as she looked back at Harvey who looked like a kid in a candy store.
"Harvey" she breathed in amazement, unable to coherently form any other words. They sat down at an unoccupied table, ordering two glasses of wine as the bartender approached them. He shrugged off his suit jacket, loosening the tie around his neck whilst Donna fought the urge to grin, still surprised by their location.
"I was 8 when i first came here" he spoke, breaking the comfortable silence between them "my dad let me skip school for the day and we drove to the City to sight see and rummage through record stores. We were in this store in Harlem and this old man approached us, telling us that if we loved Jazz music, that we had to check this place out. So we did. Every year, no matter where we were or what we were doing we would go to this place and spend the evening listening to the live music."
She listened intently as he revealed a little piece of himself, that even after 12 years of knowing one another, Harvey was still very much a mystery to Donna, even though they already knew so much. "This place is amazing, Harvey."
He nodded "My dad loved it here, i had never seen him happier than when he was here." he looked around, pursing his lips together as he fought the urge to get emotional, not wanting to open old wounds. "This place was our little secret"
She had to ask "why did you bring me here?" she didn't want to sound mean, or ungrateful, she just wanted to understand.
He shrugged, raising the glass of wine to his lips "I have wanted to take you here for ages"
"Why?"
"Because you knew my dad, he loved you...and besides, you're the closet thing i've got to family"
She grabbed her glass of wine, taking a large sip to disguise her quivering bottom lip, finding it increasingly more difficult to hold it together. Gordon Specter was a wonderful man, who she had had the pleasure of meeting several times over the last few years of his life, he was a second father to her and she was the daughter he never had. The memory of being informed about his death haunts her every day, the image to Harvey breaking down in his office at the news, etched in her memory. She shook her emotion off, smiling politely, sarcastic comment on the tip of her tongue. "Please don't tell me you're about to give me the 'i love you like a sister' speech, because that's not what you do on a date"
He grinned "You know exactly what you mean to me."
They both fell silent, the ambiguity of Harvey's response leaving the pair of them wondering what the hell he meant. He sighed, jumping off of the stool "Will you dance with me?"
Donna hesitated, Harvey didn't dance. In all the years they had known one another, she had seen him dance the grand total of two times, once in his office drunk as he did the running man with Mike, the second at a Pearson Specter Christmas function, and Jessica forced him to slow dance. She nodded slowly, accepting his hand as he instantly pulled her close, wrapping one arm loosely around her waist, the other up by their sides, hands interlocked. They swayed to the music, not a care in the world that they were one of three couples dancing whilst everyone else sat in their booth drinking away. Harvey closed his eyes, getting lost in the music as she watched him with a smile.
Despite the shit that had fit the fan at the office earlier, in that moment Donna was truly happy. For years she secretly loved playing the game of 'breaking down Harvey Specter's walls', that with every new piece of information she found out about him, was like piecing together another part of the puzzle, one piece closer to revealing the whole, beautiful picture. Every nugget of information to her, was an achievement, that Harvey had willingly knocked down another piece of his hard exterior, giving her the increasing opportunity to finally work her way in. It was no secret how she felt, perhaps it was in the respects that she had never vocalised it, but the tell tale signs had always been there. In fact, admitting to Rachel that she had slept with Harvey all those years ago, was the first time she had verbally admitted anything had ever happened between them to anyone.
The song finished, a new one starting as the tempo changed, Harvey's grip around her waist loosening as he spun her around, leaning her back before bringing her back to her feet. "Impressed?" he asked, arching his eyebrow. "Now you can say you've been swept off your feet by the legendary Harvey Specter."
"You forgot modest"
"Wasn't trying to be modest"
She rolled her eyes for what felt like the millionth time "no kidding."
The two of them danced until the early hours, enjoying each others company, both of them appreciating the perfect distraction that the 'rebound date' has been from the troubles going on at their second 'home'.
"My feet hurt so much" Donna whined as Ray pulled up outside her apartment, her eyes half open, her body desperate for sleep. Harvey walked her to her door "Thank you for tonight, I had a lot of fun." she said, and she really meant it, in fact she couldn't remember the last time she had that much fun on a date. "And thank you for showing me that place"
He smiled, feeling proud of himself "Thank you for letting me be your rebound."
She took a step towards him, their bodies centimetres apart as she got on her tiptoes, grabbing hold of his jacket for support. His eyes went wide as she pressed her lips against his softly, letting them briefly linger before pulling away. It was a bold, brave move for Donna, a move that she probably wouldn't make again without some guarantee, but she didn't regret it. It was a final thank you for a wonderful evening, an evening full of meaning,rather than a generic date in some posh restaurant.
He stood frozen to the ground as she smiled, taking a step back, giving him a small wave as she opened her door "Goodnight Harvey." He stood in a daze as she shut the door, leaving him on her doorstep, mind swimming with thoughts.
He turned around, walking straight past Ray's car, a wide smile plastered on his face. He inhaled deeply, briskly walking down the streets of New York, not caring that it was little after 3am, and he was at least a mile from home. He subconsciously reached for his lips that were still tingling from the kiss, shaking his head as he looked up at the night sky.
Harvey took a deep breath, his stomach buzzing with a feeling he couldn't quite pinpoint. Harvey had never been the rebound before, it wasn't in his nature, but for Donna he made an exception. He just hoped that someday soon she could be the exception to the rule once more.
Well, this is just a little something I knocked up after watching 4x09. Besides crying over Louis I was annoyed by the lack of Darvey, so this is just a little something. I've yet to watch the summer finale, as i cant bring myself to accepting the fact that we all now have to wait months before we see Gabriel Macht in a new three-piece.
Anyway! Show the love to get rewards. Be prepared for the final chapter of CTBOP coming your way this weekend!
