Riggs wasn't stupid, or unobservant. He wasn't an air headed fool that lucked his way to being where he was. So the looks and the whispers about him were noticed but ultimately it didn't matter.
Yes he was insane and suicidal. Who wouldn't be? He lost them. He lost her.
Martin's father had been a veteran as well, and when he returned he wasn't the same. He had a phrase that Martin hadn't understood until later, much later.
Fight monsters long enough, son, and you begin to be them.
Riggs had scoffed in childish naivety then and ran outside to play. It wasn't until later, much later that he understood all of what the old man was telling him.
Stare into the Abyss too long
He met Miranda and she was so beautiful, so filled with light that Riggs thought God must've sent an Angel just for him. They were like Oreo's and Milk they just were. They got married, and moved to his home and they were happy.
She was pregnant.
The news had left him in a tailspin of happiness unlike anything else he had ever experienced. He bought heaps of baby clothes, blue, pink, newborn to toddler, all in the day after she told him. He began talking names, first birthdays, football games even if she was a girl, bike rides and toys.
Miranda laughed and reminded him that he still had 7 months to prepare.
Finally Finally his baby was on the way. His wife and baby were on to the hospital now and he needed to be there. He quickly killed the man stopping him from being there and took off feeling happiness flow and fill his heart, hell his whole body.
He ran down the hallway a wide grin wider than Texas Pride and called her name.
Something was wrong. He immediately slowed, smile dragging it's tips to the floor.
What was wrong?
A nurse in a purple shirt and blonde hair held her hand to his chest and he pushed it aside, pushed her aside breaking into a stumbling run as he body planted into the glass window.
She was already gone.
They were already gone.
He sank to the ground feeling a familiar pit open and throb in his chest. He grasped his chest and curled around his hand and he felt his soul splinter and fall away like it was never there. A yawning emptiness he knew like a best friend was all that was left as he stared down at where his heart should be.
...and the Abyss will look back, Martin.
He understood. He understood completely.
