Title: Gone but not forgotten
Characters/Pairings: Connor/Abby, Sarah/Becker, Danny, Lester
Genres/Warnings: Adult themes, angst, hurt/comfort, character whumpage
Disclaimer: Primeval and it's characters belong to Impossible Pictures, no copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: Be prepared with hankies, really hope you like it and please please please please please please review, it really makes my day! :-)
Connor looked over at Abby longingly as she sat at her desk immersed in her work. They had fallen out a few weeks ago over something really stupid which had culminated in her slapping him across the face. He rubbed his cheek at the memory, it had really hurt and left a nasty red mark which had lasted for days afterwards.
They had argued - they never argued, but Abby had treated Connor unfairly and for once he had called her on it, telling her in no uncertain terms that he was sick and tired of never knowing where he stood with her. She had called him an arsehole and he may have said something about her being a selfish bitch (he wasn't quite sure) that was when she slapped him, almost knocking him off his feet with the force of it.
He hadn't spoken to her at all for a week after that, even managing to avoid her at the flat they shared. But when it became apparent that working with someone you weren't talking to was actually quite difficult, he had forgiven her, he always forgave her.
Abby dropped a file on the floor and bent to pick it up, her blue t-shirt falling from her shoulder and revealing the top of her creamy white cleavage to his eyes. Connor sighed and put his head in his hands, this was just impossible, they'd said they were friends but things weren't really right between them. They had stopped eating dinner together and they hadn't had a movie night since before . . . He really, really missed their movie nights curled up on the sofa with Abby so close to him that he could feel her warmth and smell her shampoo.
He thought she liked them too, she always seemed smiley as they sat together on the sofa, even when she was rolling her eyes at his film choice. She would rest her head on his shoulder sometimes as they shared popcorn or pizza, thinking back, it was one of those movie nights that had caused all their problems in the first place. There was no wonder they had both avoided them since.
Abby sat back on her chair and looked up, she caught Connor staring at her and smiled. He wanted so desperately to smile back, but he couldn't quite bring himself to and looked away quickly typing furiously on his keyboard.
"You got that report for Lester?" Danny asked from behind him.
Connor turned to his friend, hitting a key on the keyboard. The printer on his desk sprang to life and began to print off the finished report he had been writing on their last encounter with an anomaly.
He thought for a moment about when he had actually started to think of Danny as his friend. They had after all gotten off to a rocky start - Danny having arrested him for trespassing.
"All done." He replied. "I really don't see why this is necessary, we never used to have to write reports."
"Yeah well, Lester thinks that with everything that's happened lately, we need to cover our backs."
Connor nodded and gathered up the papers, stapling them in the corner before handing them to Danny.
"Here's mine too." Abby said, handing him a file and smiling brightly.
Connor looked from his pitiful four page report to Abby's little binder which clearly had far more than four pages inside.
"Bloody hell, what did you write? A novel?" Connor asked, looking worried.
"No Connor, I did not write a novel." She replied, sounding more than a little annoyed.
"I only wrote four pages." He whined. "That'll be enough won't it Danny?"
"I'm sure it will Connor." He replied, patting him comfortingly on the shoulder.
Becker walked in and handed Danny a black binder.
"W . . w . . what's that?" Connor stuttered.
"My report." Becker replied matter-of-factly.
"Oh crap."
"I'm sure your report will be fine Conn." Abby chirped.
She reached across to touch his other shoulder but he pulled away.
"Yeah right, whatever."
He watched as Abby's face fell and she walked back to her work station, plonking herself down in her chair dejectedly. He couldn't prevent his knee jerk reaction, she'd hurt him and not just physically and although he had forgiven, he couldn't quite bring himself to forget, not yet.
At that moment Sarah walked in and began talking to Becker in hushed tones. Oh great, I suppose she needed a forklift to bring in her report for Lester. He frowned as he watched Sarah touch Becker's arm softly and then look around to see if anyone had noticed. Connor looked away quickly, glancing back to Abby instead which was a mistake because she was looking at him and when their gazes locked it was like they couldn't pull away.
The anomaly detector siren began to blast around the room and Connor hurried over to it followed quickly by the rest of the team.
"Right, what have we got Connor?" Danny asked.
Connor worked the keyboard, following the screen as it honed in on a location. At that moment, Lester appeared at the top of the ramp, watching as his people worked.
"Well that's just great!" Connor exclaimed.
"What?" Becker asked, leaning over his shoulder to take a look. "Oh dear."
Connor turned his head and looked up at Becker.
"I think that's the understatement of the century!" He replied.
"Where do we need to be?" Asked Abby, becoming impatient.
"Green Park, central London."
"Oh dear!" She replied, echoing Becker's earlier words.
They made it to Green Park in under fifteen minutes, despite the heavy London traffic. Because the area was highly populated and it was the middle of the afternoon, they had received a police escort. They could tell they were in the right place by all the people screaming and running in the opposite direction to the one they were headed.
"Well, at least the Queen's not home today." Connor stated, making conversation as they entered the park.
Abby looked across the road to the Palace and frowned.
"How the hell do you know that Connor?"
"The flag isn't flying." Becker offered in explanation. "The flag only flies when the queen is in residence."
"Oh." Abby replied, still frowning. It was beyond her how Connor knew half the stuff he did.
The anomaly was soon in sight, there not being much foliage to conceal its whereabouts. It was a small twinkle at the far edge of the park surrounded by the few trees and the team made their way in its direction.
A sudden and terrible roar echoed around them and they all froze.
"What was that?" Sarah asked, clearly terrified.
"I don't know, but I'm guessing it's carnivorous." Connor replied.
"Yay!" Abby exclaimed sarcastically.
"Right, Connor, Sarah, you two head off to the anomaly and get it locked down, the rest of us need to fan out with Becker's men and find whatever the hell it was that made that noise." Danny ordered.
Connor quashed down his disappointment at not being placed with Abby, but the way things were between them, it was probably a good decision on Danny's part to split them up.
"You should check St James' Park too, there's water there." He told Danny and Becker before hurrying off in the direction of the anomaly with Sarah.
It hadn't taken long for Connor and Sarah to reach the anomaly and lock it so that no more creatures from the past - or future as the case may be - could come through. Once they had done this they both stood, weapons at the ready in case anything should run at them.
"Are you ok?" Sarah asked him.
"What? Yeah fine, why wouldn't I be?" He replied, looking perplexed by her question.
"You just haven't seemed yourself recently."
"I haven't?"
Sarah looked at him and shook her head.
"You seem . . . sad." She explained.
"Right, well I'm not, I'm fine."
Sarah gave a half laugh.
"What?"
"People who use the word 'fine' are usually far from it."
Connor rolled his eyes at her and offered her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, he knew he wasn't going to win whatever he said, so he said nothing, choosing instead to stand in silence and wait for word that they had found the intruder.
They heard the sound of gunfire first, of panicked shouts and furious high pitched roars. Connor could make out two people running towards them, one was obviously Abby, the other a soldier dressed in black. Abby was shouting something at the top of her lungs but both Connor and Sarah were struggling to hear over the many other noises.
"What?" He called out.
"The anomaly, unlock it!" She screamed.
Abby and lieutenant Ronson made it to the anomaly and stopped to catch their breath, Abby placing her hands on her knees and taking long gulps of air.
"Where is it?" Sarah asked.
"Believe me, it's coming and it's not happy at being shot at." Replied Abby.
They looked off into the direction that Abby had just come from and they could make out a small, brownish coloured creature. The closer it got however, the larger it appeared.
"Is it a . . . " Connor began.
"Raptor, yeah I think so." Abby finished his sentence for him. "It's so fast!"
And it was, it was almost upon them, they had moved to the side and away from the anomaly, Connor having unlocked it already. The hope was, as always, that the fearsome creature would play nice and return through from whence it came, therefore preventing any changes in their timeline.
Becker of course, as always, disagreed with this and had fired straight away, turning an already dangerous situation into a potentially lethal one in Abby's opinion. She had got the dinosaur's attention and hadn't found it that difficult to get it to chase her. Now came the hard part, getting it home before Becker and Danny got back.
The Raptor reached the anomaly and stopped just short of it. It turned it's smallish head and cocked it to one side, sniffing the air and looking curiously at the group of humans huddled together by a tree. It recognised the scent of it's prey - Abby - and rattled the spines on it's back menacingly.
Ronson raised his gun ready as the creature took a few tentative steps in their direction and Abby gave him a look that would give the Raptor a run for it's money.
"Don't shoot it!" She growled at him.
The Velociraptor snarled.
"Am I supposed to just let it eat us?" He asked.
"Just . . . don't!"
Abby put her hand up to his gun slowly and pushed it down.
The Raptor took another step towards them and Ronson raised his gun again, pushing against Abby's hand with his jaw set.
"Abby, maybe he's right, I think one of us is going to be lunch if not." Offered Connor.
"Well you would think that wouldn't you Connor?" She asked angrily.
Connor was hurt by her tone, it was obvious that she was making him out to be a coward and the pain from their previous argument and the events which preceded it came rushing back. He closed his eyes at the memory and bit down on his bottom lip, when he opened them again, Abby was no longer staring at him and was looking back at the creature.
Abby inwardly cursed herself. Why did she have to say these things to him? Why did she always have to hurt him in the worst ways possible? Connor didn't deserve that, he deserved better.
They were all pulled from their thoughts as the creature leapt suddenly, knocking Ronson from his feet, the gun flying through the air and landing a few feet away. The lieutenant was not it's target however, he didn't smell right and the dinosaur had his heart set on an Abby snack. It lunged for her but Connor pulled her back just in time causing her to land on the floor next to a shocked and dazed Ronson.
Now the Raptor decided that if it couldn't have the other human, then this one would do quite nicely and it bit into Connor's arm, it's jaw clamping down tight.
"ARRRRGH!" Connor screamed, the agony twisting and contorting his face.
"Connor!" Abby cried out. "Sarah, shoot it!"
She was the only one left with a gun - a tranquiliser and Abby could see that she was frozen with fear. Gone was Abby's earlier concern for altering the timeline, she had to save Connor. She scrabbled across the floor and grabbed the gun, turning and pushing herself to her feet.
The creature had already dragged Connor to the mouth of the anomaly, it's shear raw muscular power no match for him, especially seen as all he could concentrate on was the pain in his arm. As it reached it's destination, it let go of Connor and he fell to the floor clutching his injury. Sarah chose this moment to finally take a shot but she was too far away and the needle only just jabbed into the scaly skin before dropping out and falling to the floor.
Things seemed to be happening in slow motion Abby thought, though in reality they were happening remarkably quickly.
Now the Raptor was really angry and it rattled it's spines again for good measure, almost seeming to taunt them as it grabbed a groaning Connor by the ankle and began to drag him backwards through the anomaly.
"Noooooo!" Abby screamed, rushing forward and cocking the gun.
Connor dug his fingers into the ground in a futile attempt to fight the creature from pulling him to his death, the mud and grass going up his short nails and causing him even more pain and discomfort than he was already in.
Abby couldn't get a clear shot as he thrashed around and she cried out in frustration.
The last thing Connor said as his head disappeared through the bright light was; "Shoot me . . . please!"
And then he was gone.
"Oh God! No!" Exclaimed Abby, running towards the anomaly.
She closed her eyes and ran through, falling to her knees with a thud. When she opened them however, she was not in the cretaceous as expected, but still in Green Park. She looked behind her, the anomaly had closed and Connor was gone forever.
"Connor!" She sobbed, hugging her knees and rocking back and forth. "I'm so sorry!"
The rest of that day had been a blur to Abby. Ambulances, cleanup teams and questions, lots and lots of questions - none of which she answered. The only word she would utter was "Connor"
Sarah tried to comfort her, held a warm blanket around her as she cried, but nothing could ease the pain of losing her colleague and best friend. She had lost Stephen, then Cutter and now Connor, somehow the pain of losing Connor ran so much deeper. She was filled with regret for the way she had treated him in the last few weeks, he had been right; she was a selfish bitch and she hated herself for it.
As the months passed, life went on, but things weren't the same without Connor, never would be. They all missed him, the whole dynamic of the team changed and no one knew the anomaly detector the way he had.
Abby would sit in the big leather chair in front of it sometimes just spinning from side to side, running her fingers along the keyboard and picturing the way his always seemed to dance across it. She would picture the look on his face as he solved some unsolvable puzzle, or the way he would look when she refused to make him a cup of tea.
It wasn't until she ended up in hospital from malnourishment that Abby finally decided that she needed to start living again.
They had built a memorial in Connor's honour but she wouldn't go to it, it felt wrong somehow to mourn his death when there was no body. Instead, when Abby felt the need to be close to him, she would go to Green Park and sit on the grass in the spot where the anomaly had been, the spot where she had last seen Connor. Sometimes she would cry, sometimes she would talk to him and she would always be praying for the anomaly to re-open, even though she knew it was foolish to think that Connor was still there - waiting for her on the other side.
The one thing that haunted her, even when her health began to fail her and she was in and out of hospital, were Connor's last words. They echoed around her mind like a bad dream.
"Shoot me . . . please!"
She almost wished she had, the fear and agony he must have felt in his final moments was surely worse.
