Authors note: This is a response to NettleSnitch31 Songfic challenge
Pairing:Dean & Seamus
Song: Mine by Taylor swift
Prompt: winter, scarf, red
Warnings: this story is slash, don't like don't read. also, its an AU ship.
Disclaimer: not only do i not own harry potter or any of that world, i also dont opwn mine, as it belongs to the beautiful Taylor Swift.
And You're the Best Thing That's
Ever Been Mine.
His smile, that smile, that sending you weak at the knees smile, graced his lips one more time, he was laughing at our dorm mates, not at me, I should be so lucky, he never seemed to laugh at me like that. They were all sat around laughing and joking. Relaxing, being the young carefree teenagers we should all be able to be. But this just isn't life for us usually, it's as if fate took one look at my friends and decided "I know what will be fun lets screw these kids up as much as possible shall we, and see how they cope then" yeah well thanks a lot for that fate. I sighed once again; it felt like it was the millionth time I had sighed just that evening, and looked around at my friends, there really wasn't one of us who had gotten a fair deal out of life.
There was harry, who despite caring for absolutely everyone, still got hurt, how was it fair for a baby to loose his whole family, and anyone who harry let in (which was a feet within its self, considering how hard it was for harry to trust just about everyone on such a personal level that he would actually open up to you) it was painfully obvious that he hadn't had the idyllic childhood that most of the wizarding world had pictured their so called saviour would have had. It hurt dean as much as it hurt all of harry's other friends to see him get hurt, but that's all that ever seemed to happen around him, everyone seemed to hurt harry, even without meaning to, it just kind of happened. Even harry's best friend was guilty of hurting the raven haired boy.
Ron, the youngest Weasley, I guess also the forgotten Weasley in a way. I really feel for Ron sometimes, I mean I'm the oldest of four (two younger sisters and a younger brother) but even that's nothing compared to what he has at home is it? The poor guy has grown up knowing that he wasn't really wanted, knowing if his mum had had a girl before he was born, then he would have never been born, and that must have hurt. I mean don't get me wrong, I've met Mrs. Weasley, but then again I think everyone has at some point, and she's a nice enough lady, but she's a bit .. well smothering at times. Ron seems to be constantly jealous of everything, even really stupid stuff like harry being picked for the tri wizard tournament, look at harry's face was enough to convince most of us that harry hadn't done it, but no , not Ron, he just couldn't see past harry being chosen for something else, made to shine even more brighter than he himself. That month or so, when Ron had hung around with us had been tiring, as he even started to get jealous over mine and Seamus' friendship. But being the best friend to the boy who lived cant be easy, they always seem to be running into some dangerous life threatening situation.
And then there was poor Neville, he was in the same boat as harry in some ways (the whole loosing his family when he was a baby) but in a way it was almost worse for nev, he had sat down and told me and Seamus last year about his parents, poor guy, knowing that your parents were there but not there must be worse than them not being there at all. At the same time Neville was in the same boat as Ron in a way also, his grandma always shot him down and compared him to his father, Neville had practically no self confidence, and the two boys one hundred percent blamed that woman, she let Neville have no freedom., but also whatever Neville did wasn't good enough for her. That left their friend a very easy target for bullies, and if there was something in this world that got on deans chest, it was bullies.
That left Seamus, mad, insane, brilliant perfect Seamus, Seamus who was my best friend, Seamus who was my whole world. His mother was so controlling sometimes it was a bit overwhelming. But still he was his Seamus…wait his Seamus no he wasn't he would never be, you cant do that, you cant just up sticks and decide to fall for your best friend one day. It just wasn't done. Which left me in a bit of a difficult position.
Turning my attention back to my dorm room and said dorm mates, I noticed him looking at me, his eyes showing depths of feeling that even though I couldn't read them, made me tingle just to see them.
You were in school working as hard as you could
Left a small town, never looked back
I was a flight risk with a fear of fallin'
Wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts
Getting out of your hometown, even at eleven, you said was the best thing you could ever do. A tiny Irish village, that's where you grew up. Population about 150 you said, see I remember every single thing you have ever told me. I stare at you with eyes so hopeful, even though I know its pointless. Hell you didn't even know I like guys did you? But I knew you did. I saw you. Checking Malfoy out. The way you looked at him, I swear I heard my heart breaking.
Love? Really was there any point to it other than getting hurt? Was the whole point of love to see how many different people could hurt you in your lifetime? I was too scared to ever even try love…until I met you. You changed everything and you don't even know that you did it.
I say "Can you believe it?
As we're lying on the couch?"
The moment I can see it.
Yes, yes, I can see it now.
I used to love these times when it was just the two of us. We had both stayed up till dawn with the rest of the dorm, but when they had all fallen asleep, I thought you were asleep too if im honest, I came down to the common room, to just try to clear my head. But you followed, you flung yourself on the couch facing my and flashed me that smile. "so deani boy, what's been eating you recently" I don't know what you expected me to say, but was it the answer that you got, you seemed ready for it, but then again when do I ever catch you off guard. You seem to know me so well. All except one thing. Why Seamus, why not that one goddamn thing.
"I wish I could tell you Seamus, I really do, but I just cant. Not right now anyway. Please I need time. But I promise you I will tell you." And you know what the sad thing is, I meant that promise, right there in the common room at half five in the morning, I made a promise that copuld change my life. No not could…would. But now the question is will it change it for the better. Oh gods I hope so.
Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time.
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful son.
You are the best thing that's ever been mine.
You probably don't remember do you? It was just after they announced the other schools had arrived. We were sat out by the lake, just talking. Not eve talking about anything in particular, just talking. Then you saw the French girls. You threw your arm around my shoulder and whispered "how bout it dean, fancy waking up with one of them" but I didn't Seamus. At that moment I had so many butterflies in my stomach, and I didn't even know why. It was you Seamus. The thought of you made me nervous and exited and giddy…and confused. You are mine in a sense Seamus. You're my best friend. But your not mine in the way I want you to be are you?
Flash forward and we're taking on the world together,
And there's a drawer of my things at your place.
You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded,
You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes.
Best friends that's what everyone said, they thought we could take on the world. A year. A full year had passed since that night in the dorm with the guys. Your argument with harry. It crushed him Seamus. But it crushed you too. I can see it when you looked at him. You should just apologise. That was the advice of the twins. And the way you did it. It was so brave. Why cant I be brave like you.
Our trunks are a running joke with the whole house now. The face we share everything, clothes, the lot. You just smile back and laugh at them. You would never give me away, never tell them that its because you have so much better stuff than me. Ever since my step dad lost his job.
Im scared Seamus. But you know that don't you, you know all my secrets, well nearly all of them. You'll know them all soon I know you will. You promise me though, even though you have no idea what's wrong with me, you promise me that's it wont be all that bad. "it cant be dean, your adorable, just flash that smile at whoever is causing this and they will defiantly melt" but you didn't Seamus, I flashed it at you and you still didn't melt.
But we got wars to fight,
We got nothing figured out,
When it was hard to take,
Yes, yes, this is what I thought about.
Its not fair, sometimes I just feel like screaming, at someone, anyone. But I cant. There's that Umbitch terrorising half the school. I don't even want to think about what she's doing to harry in those detentions. I hate it all, hell I even hate Dumbledore right now, were kids for god sake, this shouldn't be our problem. You should be my only problem. But no, we also have worry about fighting a war. A BLOODY WAR for merlins sake, but no, nobody questions anything, we do what we have always do, we plan ourselves.
The DA who would have ever thought of that one Seamus, I know I wouldn't have, but then I guess we all know how brilliant Hermione is right. Remember that time in second year, when you had a crush on her, even back then I was jealous, though back then I had no clue at all why.
Do you remember, we were sitting there, by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful son and
You are the best thing that's ever been mine.
Sitting out by the lake seemed to be what we always ended up doing, you said its because think clearer out here. For me its because out here its always just me and you, especially in the middle of winter, like now, when everyone else preferred the warmth of the castle, and the heat of the red glowing fires that were dotted around the place, but not us, nope, we were out here, you threw your arms around me and tackled me to the ground, "I think, Deani boy, I have found a way to get your attention when you go off on one" you laughed, from your position on my stomach, you laughed, I love the sound of your laugh, it makes me want to laugh right along with you. Even though I'm laughing at my own expense, but you were laughing, nothing else in the world mattered, because you were happy.
Do you remember all the city lights on the water?
You saw me start to believe for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful son
You are the best thing that's ever been mine.
We were bored, it's the day before school lets out for Christmas, and harry and Ron have disappeared, you wake me up in the middle of the night and in my half asleep state I follow you, you lead me through the whole castle and up more steps than I thought it was possible to climb up, it felt like we were on a stair way to heaven, you pulled open a door that I didn't notice, well can you blame me, your stood there in just you pj bottoms, its not fair to do that to a guy Seamus. You pull me out onto a kind of stone platform, it takes me a moment to relise, were on the very top of the astronomy tower, were at the highest point in the school. "not that its not very nice to be up here in the middle of the night Seamus, but why couldn't you show me this in the morning" I asked, he smiled shyly at me, as though just realising I might have been asleep, look dean thou, you can see Hogsmead form here, look how its all lit up" he sank to the floor, and I joined him, we sat like that for I don't know how long, just staring at the stunning views, form our secret little place. Some hours later, Seamus turned to me and said "this is our place dean, just mine and yours, yeah, it's a place just for us" I swear I could hear my heart beating through my chest right then, you had this look on your face, a look I had never seen there before, and it was a look I couldn't describe, but the sound of a place being our place, was just too good of a sound to my ears.
Oh, oh, oh
Its Christmas, winter, your favourite season right. Harry Ron and the gang are gone for Christmas and Nevs hanging out with Luna so its just the two of us in the dorm room, I cant take this anymore. Its killing me, all the cheeriness and happiness I feel like I'm a bubble in a field of nettles, I'm just going to explode. Your sat on your bed going on and on about this guy. You talk about him like he's this perfect perfect creation, your going on and on about how much he means to you. And its just killing me okay. I cant do this anymore. Its just started to snow, so I grab my Gryffindor scarf and flee out of the room, I don't care that its half past two in the morning, all I care about right there and then, is getting away, I need to get away, from you, from everything, hopefully before you notice the tears that were falling, or before you have time to decide to follow me.
And I remember that fight
Two-thirty AM
As everything was slipping right out of our hands
I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street
Braced myself for the "Goodbye"
'cause that's all I've ever known
Then you took me by surprise
You said, "I'll never leave you alone."
I'm sat on the big rock down on the snowy bank, god knows how long I've been sat here, the suns rising, casting a deep red glow over the world. Everything's so perfect and peaceful out here, all but the sobs that I cant seem to stop from escaping from deep within me well, as long as he's happy, I guess that's something right?. I don't know who I'm trying to kid anymore.
I didn't hear you approach, but when I felt my scarf being pulled from around my neck I knew who it was, you always did that, whenever I wore a scarf you had to remove it. You sit down on the snowy ground look up at me, those beautiful eyes seem to be searching my puffy tearstained face for something. I just, I have no idea what your looking for, but the fact you did follow me, that alone means more than works can say. You move up so your eye to eye with me, your in touching distance, I can feel your sweet breath ticking my tearstained face, the face your seeing me like this makes me blush a deep red. You slowly raise the hand that doesn't have my scarf clenched in it, and you wipe the tears from my cheek, you do it so genteelly, in such a soft caring way, it makes my heart flutter. You do the same to the other cheek, then you lower your arm, but you don't move, you don't put anymore distance between us. Your just staring at me.
"hey there brown eyes, what's with the tears, I don't like it when you cry, I hate to see you this upset, please brown eyes, please let me in" brown eyes? Seamus you had nicknames for everyone, well everyone but me, I remember asking why I didn't have one once, and you told me its because you hadn't found the perfect one yet, but when you did I would be the first to know. The way you said it Seamus, it was so tender, the way you would talk to someone you were trying not to scare, did you think I was scared of you Seamus, I could never be scared of, scared of loosing you maybe, but never scared of you.
You said, "I remember how we felt sitting by the water
And every time I look at you, it's like the first time
I fell in love with a careless man's careful son
He is the best thing that's ever been mine."
You laughed, but it wasn't your usual larger than life laugh, it was more like a little rumble from the back of his throat. "let me in brown eyes, if you don't how can I help, you, I just want to make it better, whatever this it is, please brown eyes, I...I cant loose you"
"you'd never loose me Seamus, even...even with this guy, I promise, you're my best friend and I'm gonna stand by you with him, its...its just a lot to take in right now is all" there I said it, well I said part of it, but how was I to know that you could see that that wasn't the whole story, but you didn't push me, that's not your style is it, you can just wait it out, I wish I could do that, then I wouldn't even be in this problem would i?
Hold on, make it last
Hold on, never turn back
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful son
You are the best thing that's ever been mine.
(Hold on) Do you believe it?
(Hold on) Gonna make it now.
(Hold on) I can see it,
(Yes, yes) I can see it now.
I was so used to loosing people who mean something to me, I was so ready for you to finish our friendship right there and then, but you didn't, you amazing wonderful perfect person that you are. "you haven't figured it out yet have you brown eyes, my guy, the one I just cant get out of my head, you haven't figured out who it is yet have you" Seamus asked with a kind of bemused look on his face. you closed the gap between us even more, our noses were mere inches apart, I litrally stopped breathing, waiting for the rejection, the shove and the scoff, but it never came, instead I got "Brown eyes you are reckless, and sensible, your fun and your serious, you make me feel like I can do anything as long as im with you, your absolutely impossible sometimes, and you drive me crazy, but I don't want anything else, ever. Dean Thomas, its you, you're the guy I cant get out of my head." And with that I closed the slight gap that was still left and our lips met, it was perfect and magical and everything I dreamed it would be. But so much more.
Seamus Finnigan, you are the best thing that's has ever been mine. And your finally mine. Mine in the all the right ways.
