"The Country of the Samurai". It's been a while since the country, Edo, was called that. Twenty years ago, suddenly from space, came the Amanto and a sword ban that caused a samurai extinction. Samurais once daydreamed while looking into the Edo sky. Now, foreign ships fly through the sky instead.

{LESSON 1}

Introductions are hell to write

"Sakata-san, you really are a troublesome patient," said the doctor to the silver-haired man lying on the bed. "I have specifically directed you over and over again to eat sweets only once a week and just like a child to his mother, you disobey my wise teachings. If you don't cease this nonsense at once, you will-

-Hey! Are you even listening to me!?"

Gintoki turned a page of his Shonen Jump issue and mumbled to himself. "Ah, SJ, you really are my holy bible. Dattebayo."

The doctor snatched the manga magazine out of man's hands and slapped the silver haired samurai's head with it. Gintoki, in desperation, reached out his hands to grab it back but a group of big nurses rushed into the room, latched onto his limbs and tied him to the bed with straps.

"Sensei, would you mind giving back my Shonen Jump?" he said, calmly staring at the doctor with his 'dead fish eyes'. "It only comes once a week you know. Also, why am I tied to the bed? Is this some kind of a bondage party?"

The doctor smiled in a way that Gintoki did not like so much, and tied the upper portion of his arm with a rubbery string from his magical toolkit box. Gintoki sweated in nervousness.

"S-Sensei," he stuttered. "You're not doing what I think you're doing...are you?"

"Why Sakata-san, I am doing exactly what you think I'm doing," the doctor replied as he took out a large serum. "Both you and I know that you are in danger of getting diabetes." He attached a needle to the serum. "And therefore as your doctor, I will have to check to see whether or not your sugar levels are on a normal level. Now please do not blame me. This is, after all, your fault for ignoring my advice."

"W-wait a minute, I just realized that I need to go to the bathroom. Now if you'll excuse me..."

Gintoki tried to get up but was forced back down by the nurses, who closed in onto his upper forearm with a needle. He could swear that the thing was enormous. It was even bigger than his manhood!

The doctor's creepy smile widened. "I recommend you close your eyes Sakata-san," he advised. "I will need to collect quite the amount of blood from you."

Sakata Gintoki's scream was quite the horror film shriek; echoing past the blood extraction all the way to the moment Shinpachi and Kagura came to visit their bed-ridden friend.

"Gin-chan, are you afraid of shots? Should I hold your hand?" asked the Yato girl chewing on a strip of sukonbu.

"Gin-san, you can stop screaming," Shinpachi said while plugging his ears. "The blood extraction is over. The doctor said you can go as soon as the dizziness fades away."

Gintoki got up from his bed and rubbed his head, feeling contempt because his friends weren't being very supportive. "Damn it. I shouldn't have eaten all that cake last week."

"What's past is past Gin-san. We'll just remember not to go sugar binging after we find out that the news weather girl has a new boyfriend."

"Shut up Shinpachi!" Gintoki yelled. "I was only eating sugar because I craved it, not because of some stupid woman."

"Right..." Shinpachi rolled his eyes, knowing all about Gintoki's crush on Ketsuno Ana, the weather girl. "Anyways Gin-san, if you keep this up, you might get diabetes."

Kagura eagerly listening to the conversation, nodded in agreement while snacking on her sukonbu. "That's right Gin-chan! You should stop eating sweets! You can get cavities!"

"And you stop eating that disgusting shit! If you eat too much of it, you'll turn into a giant strip of sukonbu!"

"Really!? That's awesome!"

Both Gintoki and Shinpachi were going to rebuke the pathetic excuse of a Jump heroine for eating that stinky junk 24/7, but a shout from the hospital room had interrupted them, revealing someone struggling in the hands of the big nurses.

"I told you already! I was born like this! There's nothing wrong with me! Please let me go! "

"Sorry sir, but you seem to be ailing of a serious illness," said the doctor who came in to check up on his newest victim, I mean patient. "Rest in this bed while we take a diagnosis."

"I already told you! I'm perfectly healthy! Why aren't you listening to me!?"

Gintoki, Shinpachi and Kagura both looked on curiously as an old man was strapped down to the bed by the nurses, similar to the fashion that Gintoki had experienced. Gintoki, still delirious from the blood test, disliked the racket from the other side of the room and asked a nearby nurse of the happening.

"Hey onee-san, what's going on over there? The noise is giving me an even bigger headache than when that old hag pesters me about the damn rent."

"Oh, that poor old man is suffering from white-washing and a bacterial infection in his left arm. The doctor is even thinking about amputating it."

"Hm...poor old fart...alright let's go Shinpachi, Kagura," he platonically said. "It's time to go back. I want to play some Pachinko."

"And I want to eat lunch!" Kagura yelled out enthusiastically.

"But you just ate ten minutes ago!" Shinpachi yelled out in disgust. "If you keep this up, we'll be broke!"

"But we are broke."

--

Betaed by IChangedMyPenName, who by the way is the awesomest person. She copes with my idiocy so well...she came from heaven i swear. XD

Suggestion Box

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BTW, did this suck? I'm not very sure...please critique.