I can be your everything.

I'm the girl you've been thinking about
The one thing you can't live without
I'm the girl you've been waiting for
I'll have you down on your knees, I'll have you begging for more.

That's what I want to think, that's what I tell myself and imagine every time I'm with her. But the sad part is that it's all the way around. I can't stop thinking about her, of the things she does to me and makes me feel. I tell myself I have to stop, this needs to end, but at the end of the night I am the one on my knees and she has me begging for more.

You probably thought I wouldn't get this far, you thought I'd end up in the back of a car
You probably thought that I'd never escape, I'd be a rat in a cage, I'd be a slave to this place
You don't know how hard I fought to survive, waking up alone when I was left to die
You don't know about this life I've led, all these roads I've walked, all these tears I've bled.

This all started the first time she broke up with Beck. She showed up at my house asking for help, asking me to help her get back with him, she was vulnerable at that moment, at least that's what I like to think. I agreed to help her and we sat in an awkward silence for a moment. The silence was kept even when she pressed her lips against mine, but soon enough the air was filled with gasps and moans as clothes were torn apart from each other.

The next day I woke up on my empty bed with no signs of what had happened, except for my clothes scattered around the room. I cried until there weren't any tears left, I felt drained. I kept my promise and went to talk to Beck, it was hard. How could I look in the eyes of one of my best friends and tell him to go back to his now ex-girlfriend? How could I do that without breaking and explain everything that happened with said girl the night before? Of course, he said he wouldn't go back with her. Well, I tried.

At school, she didn't say anything about what had happened between the two of us, instead she just demanded for more help. Then again, I agreed, and they got back together at the end of the night. I thought I would move on and forget that certain night, especially since Jade appeared oblivious to that. It was over, but oh, I was wrong. Deep down inside of me, I wanted more.

So how can this be, you're praying to me
There's a look in your eyes, I know just what that means
I can be, I can be your everything
I can be your whore.

Two days after she and Beck had gotten together, she was at my doorstep and as soon as I opened the door her lips were once again against mine. I didn't refuse a thing as I stumbled back on the couch and she crawled on top of me, her teeth gracing my neck in painful bites and her hand unbuttoning my shirt as I started to lose myself in the pleasure. When it was over, she readjusted her clothes and hair and left without a word or a glance back. I stared at the door for a good moment trying to figure out what was happening, but once again the emptiness was distracting.

I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner, I am your whore
But let me tell you something, baby
You love me for everything you hate me for.

She was well known around Hollywood Arts. She was Jade West, the mean, scary and talented girl. Beck Oliver's jealous girlfriend, and I was the girl she despised more than anything or anyone else in the world. She would pull her mean act on me when other people were around and I would put up with it, because at the end of the night she'd be at my place instead of his.

So how can this be, you're praying to me
There's a look in your eyes, I know just what that means
I can be, I can be your everything
I can be your whore.

What people didn't know was that those apparent looks of hate she gave were actually lust, I knew it, she wanted me just like I wanted her. I could see it, especially when she would turn to Beck and make out with him in the middle of the hallway or anywhere we were. I wanted to yell at her and make her stop doing that. Scream at him and make him stay away from her, even though it wasn't his fault. The only thing he was guilty for was for being that clueless. She was mine and only mine, but it was obvious that wasn't true, if anything, I was hers.

I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner, I am your whore
But let me tell you something, baby
You love me, you want me, you need me
I can be your whore.

I knew it was wrong. Sneaking around everyone else's back, betraying a friend, lowering to this level. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I knew it, but it felt so wanted this. I wanted it. I never questioned her because I was afraid she would get mad, yell at me, do something that might hurt me or worst, stop doing it. I didn't want this to end.

I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner, I am your whore.

Time passes and no one suspects a thing. We've been doing this for a long time and somewhere along the way I lost the capacity to feel remorse. The only thing I feel is love, and this is the only way I can obtain something from her. This is the only way I can make her show me her love.

She has me against the wall, her lips moving against mine and one of her hands massaging roughly one of my breasts, her other hand pushes my jeans down and my head rests back as she parts my legs and starts rubbing me slowly, her lips trailing from my neck to the unattended breast. I moan softly and my hips move against her hand seeking more, but she pushes me back again. I know what she wants. I beg for it and after a couple of more tortuous rubs she complies shoving her fingers inside me, moving them and hitting spots that make me moan and claw at her naked back, making her groan and bite down at my shoulder in return. My eyes are shut as I squeeze around her, my chest moving up and down quickly and my nails digging deeper on her back.

We stay quiet for a moment, my panting being the only thing heard in the room, before she pushes me down on the bed signaling this isn't over. I still don't question her and I probably never will.

But let me tell you something, baby
You love me for everything you hate me for.

I want this to keep going, I love it as much as I love her, and I know she feels the same as she moans my name over and over again.