Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any of the characters. They all belong to Tolkien. This is a Fanfiction written by a fan (hence the word Fanfiction) but I do hope you enjoy reading it.
What He Most Desired
A/N: In the Lord of the Rings, the Fellowship of the Ring; the Fellowship go to Lothlorien where they stay for awhile before continuing their journey. Galadriel tests them all when they first meet her by offering each of them individually the choice to go home or carry on with their journey with the Fellowship. Each are offered what they would most desire and, in the books Merry says something very intriguing about what he is offered. This is my take on what Galadriel offered him personally to tempt him home.
The parts direct from the book are in italic. They are Tolkien's words from the Fellowship of the Ring, from Book II, chapter VII the Mirror of Galadriel. In the 2012 edition of the book, the direct quotes that I am using are on page 465.
They are discussing Galadriel and what she offered them...
"I never thought no such thing," answered Sam, in no mood for jest. "If you want to know, I felt as if I hadn't got nothing on, and I didn't like it. She seemed to be looking inside me and asking me what I would do if she gave me the chance of flying back home to the Shire to a nice little hole with – with a bit of garden of my own."
"That's funny," said Merry. "Almost exactly what I felt myself; only, only well, I don't think I'll say anymore," he ended lamely.
It had been Estella. Galadriel had offered him home as she had with them all but when he had arrived at his cosy little hobbit hole, and opened the rounded door, Estella Bolger had been standing there. Her arms had been wide open, ready to hug him, hold him and welcome him back.
Estella Bolger was what he had always desired. And when Galadriel had offered him this, this perfect life with Estella, he had been more tempted by it than anyone could possibly know. Of course it hadn't been real; it had been too perfect. And yet now he could not stop thinking about her: his Estella. His mind wandered back to the first time that they had met.
It had been in Hobbiton, at Bag End. Bilbo had thrown a small party to celebrate one of his and Frodo's joint birthdays. Having managed to disengage himself from Pippin who was flirting terribly with Diamond of Long Cleve, Merry had spotted her, sitting on her own. They had talked about everything from pipe weed to Gandalf and she had laughed at his terrible jokes. And that had been all that it took for Meriadoc Brandybuck to fall in love with Estella Bolger.
Of course, he never told her. And when he went back to Buckland, he never saw her. But that didn't stop him from thinking about her: the way she laughed; the way she spoke; the way she argued with passion, winning any argument with her sharp words and perceptive comments. Merry loved her just the way that she was. He really really did.
And when Galadriel had offered him Estella, Estella Brandybuck, loving him; it was tempting beyond doubt. And yet he would always choose to stick by Frodo on this dreadful quest. No matter what.
But perhaps, when they got back to the Shire, when this dreadful ring was sunk in the fires of Mount Doom, perhaps he would have the courage to ask Estella to dinner – or maybe for a walk. No, he thought decidedly, dinner would be better. Food is much more enjoyable than walking.
It had been so tempting: the idea of him being back in the Shire and Estella Bolger in his arms... in his bed. Merry realised that he was blushing. And yet that was what Galadriel had seen that he desired. He lusted for her as much as he loved her. After all, she was a very attractive hobbit.
That was why he had been unable to tell the others what Galadriel had offered him. It made him blush which meant that it was something he couldn't admit to anyone, not even to Pippin. Merry wanted Estella. He needed her. He desired her greatly, and Galadriel had seen that.
Perhaps it was so easy for her to see because he thought about Estella so often. She was always in the back of his mind, no matter how far apart they were. Estella Bolger. Estella Brandybuck. Now that sounded rather good.
