Hey :D I'm still working on my music, but I really wanted to get back into writing my fics before it's been too long and becomes difficult. And doing both at the same time isn't as hard as I thought it would be—although the updates might be a little slower than last time.

This is the third story in my "Cynicism" saga, so as I said in the last one, please read the previous fics in the series first! And as always, reviews (both good and constructively critical) are welcome, but all flames will be doused with a giant water gun :-P


Change of Plans

There was only one week left until summer vacation began for the kids of South Park, and Stan could hardly wait. It had been five months since he and Kyle patched things up, and they were as close as ever. Both of them were looking forward to hanging out with Kenny and Butters as much as possible over the long break.

Stan thought about all the awesome stuff they'd get to do as he heard the doorbell ring, signaling the arrival of Gary—his official boyfriend of five months—for their Friday night sleepover.

"Hi, Stan," he was met by that perfect smile when he opened the door.

"Hey, you."

"'Hey, you'? What kind of greeting is that?" Gary laughed.

Stan pulled him in and shut the door behind him. "Is this better?" he asked as he kissed him passionately.

"Wow…somebody's in a good mood."

"And why shouldn't I be? By this time next week, we'll be out of school for the summer. We'll finally be finished with fourth grade, and we won't have to deal with Mr. Garrison anymore. Best of all, we'll have plenty of uninterrupted time to spend with our friends."

"Yeah, about that, Stan…"

"Stanley!" Sharon called from the kitchen. "Oh good, you're here, Gary," she walked out. "Dinner's just about ready, boys."

"Thanks, Mom… So what were you saying?"

"Let's wait till after we eat," Gary suggested. "We should really talk alone first."

"OK…" Stan felt a little worried. What could be so serious that they needed to discuss it privately?

After supper, Stan took Gary up to his bedroom so they could be by themselves. "All right, we're alone. What did you wanna tell me?"

"Remember how I said that my brother Mark stayed in contact with his girlfriend back in Salt Lake?"

"Yeah."

"He proposed to her last month, and they're getting married this summer."

"That's great!…Isn't it?"

"Oh, we're all happy for him. It's just…it's taking place in Utah, so I won't be around here."

"Oh. When is it?"

"Well, the wedding's in August…"

"Hey, you'll still be home for a while before then."

"No, Stan…we're leaving a week from tomorrow."

Stan sat there in shock. "What?"

"Mark has to be there to help with the wedding plans."

"But why can't he go on his own?"

"They'll be settling down in that area once they're married. It might be a while before we get to see him again, so we want to spend as much time together as possible."

"So you'll be gone the whole summer?"

Gary silently nodded.

"I can't believe this… Why didn't you tell me sooner so I'd have time to get used to the idea of us being apart?"

"Because I want you to come with me."

"Huh?"

Gary took Stan's hands. "I don't want to be away from you that long, Stan. I asked my parents already and they said it was OK. And Mark sees you as part of the family, so he'd be happy if you came along. You could even bring Sparky if you wanted. What do you say?"

"Gee…I don't know, Gary. That's a long time to be away from my family…not to mention my friends. I was away from them for a long time already when I was stuck in my cynicism."

"I know it's a big decision to make."

"Can I take some time to think it over?"

"Sure, take all the time you need." Gary lay down on the bed and patted the spot next to him. Stan rested his head on the pillow as Gary hugged him close. "You know I'll still love you no matter what you choose, right?"

"I know," he nodded his head slowly.

"Good," he kissed Stan's cheek. "Do you feel like watching a movie?"

"Sure. Lemme turn on my computer." As Stan started it up and looked for something good to watch, one thing kept running through his mind: I'm screwed.


"Kyle!" Sheila yelled upstairs. "Time to get up! We don't want to be late for temple!"

Kyle groaned at the sound of his human alarm clock. He dressed quickly and came down for breakfast. "Why does temple have to be so early?" he complained. "Just once I'd like to sleep in a little on a Saturday."

"Morning service is very important, Kyle," said Gerald. "We wouldn't want to miss it, would we?"

"Anyway, it isn't that long, bubby," Sheila reminded him. "It'll be over before you know it, then you can spend the day however you want. Ike, for the love of Abraham, eat your shakshuka!"

"No…" Ike pouted.

Drool was starting to fall from the side of Kyle's mouth toward the end of the service.

"I just have one last announcement before we conclude," said Rabbi Schwartz.

"Finally," Kyle sighed.

"This year, the Jew Scouts will be hosting a summer retreat up in the Colorado Rockies. All scouts and squirts interested in participating should meet here at the synagogue ready to board the shuttle by seven a.m. this following Sabbath."

"Did you hear that, Kyle?" asked Gerald excitedly. "A Jew Scout retreat for the whole summer! Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"No," Kyle grimaced.

"Kyle, where's your sense of tradition?" Sheila chided him. "It's important to take every opportunity given to celebrate your Jewish heritage. Ike understands, don't you, little man? You want to go on a summer trip with the Squirts?"

"I pooped my pants!"

"But what about my friends? I won't see them at all."

"Sure you will," said Gerald. "You can chat with them on FaceTime."

"It won't be the same…" Kyle muttered. I almost lost Stan's friendship once for abandoning him. How can I risk that again?


"Aagh…" Cartman stretched as he woke up bright and early on Monday.

"Morning, poopsikins," Liane greeted him at his bedside.

"Morning, Mom."

"I made you breakfast in bed. It's your favorite: powdered donut pancake surprise." She placed it in front of him and left the room.

"Sweet…" As Cartman began to dig in, two of the donuts started rolling off the tray and onto the floor. "Ey! Come back nyah!" They suddenly began to float in the air. "The fuck?" Slowly, the holes in the center of the donuts morphed into big black eyes, while the donuts around the holes expanded to form a thin, pale body with a long head. "AAAHH!" Cartman shouted. The visitor grabbed his leg and dragged him down the hallway. "Weeeak!"

The next thing Cartman knew, he was lying facedown on an operating table with his ass hanging out of his pajama bottoms. Visitors were standing around him, and one of them picked up a tire pump and probed him with it. The alien began pumping air into him until he was almost completely round.

After they were done, the visitors dropped Cartman from their spaceship over the bus stop. He looked up from where he lay on the ground and saw Stan, Kyle and Kenny standing over him.

"Dude, Cartman looks like a giant beach ball!" said Stan.

"Yeah," Kyle agreed. "Did you swallow the Death Star, fatass?"

The two of them laughed at Cartman. Then the school bus pulled up, and the kids on board started pointing and laughing.

As his friends got on, Kenny turned back to him and shook his head in disappointment. "I knew you'd never change."

"NOOO!" Cartman woke up screaming. He quickly removed the covers to see that he was still his normal size. Then he checked his cell phone and realized it was only Sunday morning. He sighed over having another nightmare about getting fatter. "God dammit…"

Cartman sat in front of the TV pushing his egg whites and turkey bacon around with his fork. He was still trying to get used to his healthier diet. Ever since Kenny's last visit to his house, he'd been making an attempt at improving his eating habits to better himself and meet his blond friend's faith in his ability to change. Unfortunately, he still craved sweets and fatty foods. He'd try to eat the right things, but he'd end up covering them in sugar, butter and salt to enhance their favors. Not surprisingly, he didn't find himself losing much weight. He rested his head in his hand as he chewed on an orange slice.

"Something the matter, sweetie?" asked Liane.

"I don't think I'm getting any thinner, Mom."

"Sure you are, hon. It just takes a little time for it to be really noticeable."

"It's been five months already! When the hell am I supposed to notice it? I need to take more drastic measures… Mom, I've made a decision: I wanna go to fat camp."

"Eric, we tried that once. You brought junk food in and sold it to the other campers."

"Mom, I'm seriously this time. I'm tired of being fat."

"I told you, poopsikins, you're not fat, you're big boned."

"Well, I'm tired of being a big boner then! Just call the fat camp and tell them I'm ready to come back."

"Sweetie, you were banned from going back there, remember?"

"Then find another fat camp! God, do I have to think of everything?"

"I'll look online and see what's available," she headed for the computer.

"Get me some more orange slices while you're up," he called. "I'm not paying you to sit on your ass." Cartman pulled out his BFF necklace and grasped it tightly. Things are gonna be different, Kinny. Just you wait.


Hmm…this chapter looks a lot more scattered and rushed now that I've re-read it :-/ I hope it at least got you interested in the story ^_^